Hello From An Old Friend

[[Wa...]]

Hey there.

It's been a long time since I've been to Benzo Buddies. The site is new, many people are gone, some are new to me. I never ever thought I'd be here in this group but here I am. It's my honor to be among you and I hope to get reacquainted with some of you and also hope to get your support and lend some as well. Used to have a signature that included my exposure to benzos but looks like it's gone now and not sure how to add a new one but that's not my priority yet. 

In a nutshell....5 months use of xanax as prescribed. CT'd when I had surgery (reason I was given the  meds in the first place). Left hospital so ill and had no idea why. Someone from an unrelated group told me it was from the xanax. Couldn't believe it but didn't know what to do. Tried to reinstate and taper off in a week. Ended up worse. Went to rehab who said they could help. Ended up worse. Spent two  years in the worst mental hell and torture I didn't know was humanly possible. I was a single mom of 4 who just lost my own mom and so I tried to keep working. Then got a UTI and took an antibiotic and my life was officially over. Had to quit working and daughters had to take care of me. They were only teenagers. Now... 3 more years have gone by. Had multiple other setbacks and reactions each giving me new symptoms like seizures and others.

So...5 years total. During this time ongoing trauma and stress without stopping. Caused my immune system to collapse and then got a giardia infection. Refused antibiotics and tests keep coming back inconclusive so I don't know if I still have it but still have all the symptoms. Now have severe anemia and malabsorption. Western med docs say take Flagyl and do endoscopy and colonoscopy. Docs also found mass in bladder but I don't want a biopsy.  Functional meds haven't worked and keep me in a state of setbacks and my poor healing CNS just can't take it. Developing scary neuro symptoms that I didn't have before like vertigo and losing vision in my eye and visual disturbances. Was in perfect health 5 years ago. Career as a therapist (we were never taught about benzos), friends, travel, great relationships with my daughters...now all gone.

Benzo stuff is bad enough. It's hell enough. But having multiple health issues that require treatment with no sure course but lots of potential setbacks is the worst. Just talking about it all makes me shake and sweat. 

Anyway....just hoping to get some opinions and support from you amazing friends and hope to  offer some help and support too. 

Thanks for letting me ramble

[[mo...]]

I am so sorry for what you are going through.  I am having a big setback also so maybe I can relate somewhat to what you are going through but at the same time have no idea how you actually feel.  I will keep you in my prayers (really) not just saying that.  Know someone remembers you each day as you go on.

[[mo...]]

In my 6-7th year and I now have health issues to deal with. Got through getting a new heart valve and pacemaker and even a stroke. But now I have surgery coming up in less than two weeks for breast cancer and I am in a panic about the anesthesia and probably required antibiotics. I am taking an estrogen blocker to try to shrink the tumors and the depression has now gotten worse and my go-to exercise-walking which has helped me with the inner restlessness is getting harder and harder as my bones are struggling with osteoporosis. Just venting my fear. Thanks for letting me without judgement (like the medical professionals who just keep letting my down because they refuse to believe my story.)  

[[ti...]]

I'm sorry you're going through this. Benzo withdrawal is bad enough but then having to take medication that makes this worse is hell. I've recently accidentally sensitized my CNS even more with pain meds and now I'm much worse off. It's so hard to navigate health issues with a damaged nervous system.

[[je...]]

I just wanted to express my heartfelt sympathy for everyone going through so much suffering and pain for such an extended period of time. I cannot imagine what it must be like. You are all truly inspirational for fighting this battle every single day. 

[[jo...]]

Flagyl started this entire mess for me four years ago. It definitely (imo) has something to do with GABA and it crosses the bbb. Stay well away and look after yourself. Hugs 

[[Wa...]]

On 05/04/2024 at 14:33, [[m...] said:

In my 6-7th year and I now have health issues to deal with. Got through getting a new heart valve and pacemaker and even a stroke. But now I have surgery coming up in less than two weeks for breast cancer and I am in a panic about the anesthesia and probably required antibiotics. I am taking an estrogen blocker to try to shrink the tumors and the depression has now gotten worse and my go-to exercise-walking which has helped me with the inner restlessness is getting harder and harder as my bones are struggling with osteoporosis. Just venting my fear. Thanks for letting me without judgement (like the medical professionals who just keep letting my down because they refuse to believe my story.)  

I can't imagine dealing with all of that. That is honestly my biggest fear is needing surgeries and procedures, etc. If one little antibiotic through me into a hell worse than acute, I can't imagine what anesthesia and surgery would do. But that's just me. I seem to be super sensitive to everything now. I am happy that your previous surgeries went okay and no setbacks for you? I wish you the best of luck with the breast cancer and please feel free to reach out to me for support.

[[Wa...]]

On 06/04/2024 at 00:34, [[j...] said:

Flagyl started this entire mess for me four years ago. It definitely (imo) has something to do with GABA and it crosses the bbb. Stay well away and look after yourself. Hugs 

Yep that's what they wanted to give me for the giardia and I told them NO WAY.