How is your day going? Please comment and rate.

[[An...]]

👇

I just got back from seeing my psychologist. I had a good talk therapy session. This guy has a terrific bedside manner just like my primary care doc. I hope he never retires or dies while I am still alive. (LOL)

I am about to go outside and do some yardwork for my mother.

I rode my stationary bike 20 minutes today and meditated for 15 minutes afterwards. I feel fairly ok ATM. I slept well last night. My day is a 7.

Edited March 30 by [An...]
added rate your day scale

[[kn...]]

Way to go.  You're functioning at a pretty high level.  I have been without a provider (medical) since Christmas.  I'm going to be able to see someone via telemedicine for 20 min. tomorrow.  They say that's the best they can do for me until the new Dr. appears in late April.   It makes it tough to get new scripts.  My therapist is great, just like yours.  She's been a tremendous advocate for me during this time.  My PC wasn't happy with me, though, when I showed up at his door requesting a new Rx when I had no one to see in behavioral health.  He has been very supportive in the past, but was afraid to deal with me this time.  He did confide that he had gotten himself in a lot of trouble prescribing patients from the other clinics and sent me packing.  I am a long time meditator as well and get most of my exercise gardening and walking our Lab around the neighborhood.  The stationary bike sits idle.  

[[An...]]

So sorry to hear about your current doc situation @[kn...]. Have you ever done telemedicine before? Are you in need of a new script to continue your taper? 

One of my biggest fears is having to find a new doc. My current PCP has no problem prescribing me benzos and he is also very supportive in helping me get off them if I choose. He simply told me to taper slowly based on how I am feeling. He actually over-prescribes for the exact reason I just mentioned. If anything does happen to him, I have a stockpile of pills and can take my time in trying to find another doctor.

 

 

[[kn...]]

Yes, I've done telemedicine several times.  It is fine for therapy or seeing a behavioral health psych provider, but it lacks that face to face element that's crucial in being able to decipher body language cues and the like.  I usually avoid it in leu of a regular, in patient appt.  I did finally manage to get a new script.  What I'm doing tomorrow is a 'crumb' being thrown my way to appease me.  I received just enough pills to last 30 days, and not one mg more.  They  have been very leery of me shaving pills, up dosing, etc. 'Messing with pills' at this place is considered a 'no-no'.  I've since moved on from my original provider who started me on this taper.  He was pretty vindictive with the notes he left in my chart.  By law, the actual chart belongs to the health organization but the information in it belongs to the client.  If you ever get into trouble I'd take a look there to see what's going on.  Hopefully it sounds like you're in good shape and won't have to go there any time soon. I would have never changed any of this stuff at all, but my very original prescriber's wife came down with leukemia, he took a medical leave.  After she passed, the guy retired.  He was pretty distraught.  The rest is history at this point.  I, too, have a stash of pills, but it's dwindled considerably in the time between providers. Keep in touch.  I'll be posting a new blog about all of this in the next couple of days.  Be well, friend. 

[[Ca...]]

Not so great. At least I have a prescriber for now. I am very dizzy and I think it's from updosing which I have been doing erratically since March 6. about six weeks ago I just stopped getting out of bed during the day. I was walking almost three miles daily, Looking back it seems I just said "F" it I want to sleep and took 4-6 more mgs of valium -- I am on 12.2 now -- and even some Clonapin with it. 

[[Ca...]]

6 hours ago, [[A...] said:

I just got back from seeing my psychologist. I had a good talk therapy session. This guy has a terrific bedside manner just like my primary care doc. I hope he never retires or dies while I am still alive. (LOL)

I am about to go outside and do some yardwork for my mother.

I rode my stationary bike 20 minutes today and meditated for 15 minutes afterwards. I feel fairly ok ATM. I slept well last night.

That sounds like a very good day in my view!

[[An...]]

30 minutes ago, [[C...] said:

Not so great. At least I have a prescriber for now. I am very dizzy and I think it's from updosing which I have been doing erratically since March 6. about six weeks ago I just stopped getting out of bed during the day. I was walking almost three miles daily, Looking back it seems I just said "F" it I want to sleep and took 4-6 more mgs of valium -- I am on 12.2 now -- and even some Clonapin with it. 

Hi Carol,

I have my days too where all I wanna do is lie or sit up in bed and do nothing. I did sleep ok last night but my sleep overall is erratic and not very good overall IMO. This lack of good sleep consistency is what bothers me the most. I took a quick look at your history.

It says>>>

Quote

 first prescribed high daily doses of xanax 25 years ago for panic attacks.

Do you still suffer with panic attacks? I still get the irregular ones but they are really mild and I have been able to abort them quickly and easily, unlike when I was in my early 20s. I  am sorry to hear your day was not too good. How often do you take the klonopin with the valium?

[[An...]]

@[kn...] said>>>

Quote

Yes, I've done telemedicine several times.  It is fine for therapy or seeing a behavioral health psych provider, but it lacks that face to face element that's crucial in being able to decipher body language cues and the like.  I usually avoid it in leu of a regular, in patient appt.

My sentiments exactly....I have done telemedicine twice with my psychologist but I told him I prefer F2F meetings for exactly the reasons you cited. Prior to COVID, there was very little telemedicine.

[[Ca...]]

5 hours ago, [[A...] said:

Hi Carol,

I have my days too where all I wanna do is lie or sit up in bed and do nothing. I did sleep ok last night but my sleep overall is erratic and not very good overall IMO. This lack of good sleep consistency is what bothers me the most. I took a quick look at your history.

It says>>>

Do you still suffer with panic attacks? I still get the irregular ones but they are really mild and I have been able to abort them quickly and easily, unlike when I was in my early 20s. I  am sorry to hear your day was not too good. How often do you take the klonopin with the valium?

I have been off of the xanax for years. Now just thevalium although i recently updosed with some clonapin and also updosed valium. I do get intense anxiety about my health. I am not stable and have been in tolerance withdrawal since i started this taper two years ago. I went to a rehab in 2016 for valium and suboxone andwas in withdrawal afterwards for two years before i relapsed on tramadol and that seemed to help and i was able to eturn to work and normal life. but then i added the benzos and the horror began again. I can't really leave the house.

[[Ca...]]

Just now, [[C...] said:

I have been off of the xanax for years. Now just thevalium although i recently updosed with some clonapin and also updosed valium. I do get intense anxiety about my health. I am not stable and have been in tolerance withdrawal since i started this taper two years ago. I went to a rehab in 2016 for valium and suboxone andwas in withdrawal afterwards for two years before i relapsed on tramadol and that seemed to help and i was able to eturn to work and normal life. but then i added the benzos and the horror began again. I can't really leave the house.

I took three five mg klonapins and no more in the house so today none. they didnt work either.

[[...]]

Hi all. My day has just begun. It's 9:21 am now. I took 1 tablet of gidazepam 2 mg. This is how my day usually starts, an hour later when it starts to take effect I get up and start with a hike.In the shower. Then I drink strong tea, have breakfast, and then go for a walk. Then work. I work as a web developer creating websites and online stores. as well as forums. On the one hand, I like what I do; on the other hand, it’s a sedentary job, and when I forget to walk, my legs and arms go numb.

[[...]]

In general, my days pass monotonously boring and mostly in poor health. I'm not complaining, I'm just sharing with you how my day is going.

[[Ca...]]

[[...]]

3 hours ago, [[C...] said:

Actually, you sound more functional than you may feel!

Well, that’s understandable, I took my usual dosage until today, this morning I removed 1/4 of the usual dosage I have a long-term benzodiazepine, so it’s too early to talk about symptoms. I think they appeared about 4 days after I reduced the dose. 1/4 is 25% of the usual dose, but it is not possible to remove less as recommended here since I could barely remove 1/4 of a very small tablet. Let's see what the result will be. 

[[...]]

In general, physical symptoms don’t scare me; when I feel physically ill, I can get up and go, for example, go for a walk, do something But psychological ones, such as a feeling of unreality or depersonalization, scare me. 

[[...]]

Question? When does a symptom of depersonalization appear, how long can it last? Since I was never able to tolerate it and took a pill.

[[An...]]

[[...]]

@[An...]This is the point: my depersonalization occurs on days 7-10 and then I immediately drink my usual dosage. I can’t tolerate this condition, that’s why I asked the question, what will happen if I don’t take the pills? Will this condition go away on its own and approximately how long will it take?

[[Re...]]

@[...] I know you have been struggling quite a bit, I am really sorry. Depersonalization, derealization seems to be quite a common withdrawal symptom after (rapid) cessation. No one can tell you how long that is going to last if you cut your medication too fast. It can be many months, even years, I suggest you don't do this.

Depending on ones individual history, cold turkey cessation or rapid cessation could result not only in seizures and a very intesnse withdrawal syndrome, but you might suffer for a long period, too. Please, if you can, do not attempt to cut the medication fast. Remember, that withdrawal symptoms form quite slowly because of the long half life of the medication, and the nature of benzodiazepine withdrawal, too. 

I have seen that you already posted on Taper Strategies, and I recall your posts from the Withdrawal, Use and Recovery section. I encourage you to ask questions there, our Buddies can really help you to find some answers.

Take care, @[...]!

[[Ca...]]

I can relate to what you're sharing Mavr. I foolishly updosed a number of days in March and it was recommended to increase my base dose of 12.2 mgs of valium to 14 to address the fallout. Now I have new physical symptoms that are freaking me out in addition to the mental ones I have had the entire two years of the microtaper.

[[...]]

Hello everyone, today is the second day since I removed 1/4 of the 25% tablet, so far I feel tolerable. But changes in mood are already noticeable, but these are trifles I understand that the main symptoms will appear on the 4th day, but I hope that it will be tolerable and I will be able to move on, after 14 days, as recommended, take another step towards reduction. 

[[Ka...]]

@[An...] today is a disaster. I have PTSD & this arose pre benzo. Today I learn treatment, for which I was assessed in January, & funding is not progressing  This has left me broken. I took myself off diazepam almost 3 months ago. Diazepam is not suitable for trauma (BIC have useful info about this) so I have been on the wrong medication pathway. I need trauma focused therapy/EMDR & the excellent consultant psychologist who assessed & diagnosed PTSD submitted an application for funding for me. It is clearly going nowhere. 
 

 

Edited March 28 by [Ka...]

[[Ca...]]

is someone recommending medication for ptsd?

[[An...]]

@[Co...] and BB admins and mods,

Can this thread stay here or should it be under a blog post? When I created it, it was for anyone who wanted to write about how their day was going.

 

[[An...]]

17 hours ago, [[K...] said:

@[An...] today is a disaster. I have PTSD & this arose pre benzo. Today I learn treatment, for which I was assessed in January, & funding is not progressing  This has left me broken. I took myself off diazepam almost 3 months ago. Diazepam is not suitable for trauma (BIC have useful info about this) so I have been on the wrong medication pathway. I need trauma focused therapy/EMDR & the excellent consultant psychologist who assessed & diagnosed PTSD submitted an application for funding for me. It is clearly going nowhere. 
 

Sorry to hear Katrina. I hope tomorrow is better for you. This application for funding.....is this to your insurance company to justify payment for treatment? I see my psychologist on a monthly basis. I really look forward to the therapy sessions.

My today has been ok, not great tho. It rained all day so nothing to really do but stay inside and play on my laptop. Sleep was not so good last night. I am hoping for better tonight. My sleep quality has been good but the quantity (amount I am getting) is not enough to give me that restorative feeling when I awake each morning.