Its 4 years since the jump...

[[tr...]]

Thought I'd drop in - its been awhile since I posted. This month marks 4 years since my rapid taper off Ativan. I know you want to hear I am 100 percent healed - but I cannot say that. What I can say is that I am a far cry from where I was. I feel sane and sharp mentally, have been able to work part time and manage my home and family.

My body is still healing. for example, it is just in the past few months I noticed I can tolerate magnesium better. I can take some other supplements better. I can tolerate a pediatric dose of toradol (ended up in ER one day - long story). But I still live with hyperasthisia due to the benzo damage, believing that with time it will improve.

To be objective, not everything I experience now is all benzo stuff - I've had covid twice this year and am also in perimenopause - and those things in and of themselves present challenges! But most of us living with BIND (benzo induced neurological disorder) do find that we have a harder time bouncing back from things. 

But I have found that even with challenges and " setbacks" our bodies still continue to heal - which blows my mind. Because it feel like more damage. Remember what you're feeling is your sensitivity and your body needs to regulate again. I've come to accept that as with any injury, we may never be 100% again, but we are designed to heal. Neurogenesis/neuroplasticity is real. This is the slowest healing process - but its still healing. 

Be gentle with yourself. Eat well, reduce stress. Have positive supportive people in your life. Get out in nature. Create. Rest. Balance is your best friend.

I'm still mad as hell this has happened and that we have not found vindication for what we have all suffered. I'd love an opportunity to stand on a panel before the FDA and big pharma and hold them accountable. I want restitution and there's nothing wrong with that. I can't even be mad at my doctors because they were doing what they had been taught.  The vast majority of physicians do not even know this benzo damage exists. My advice when dealing with medical providers is to talk to them very calmly and professionally about your experience. If you get all emotional and hysterical they will be dismissive of you that you are having "psyche issues". Offer to give them information on this if they wish (BIC has some good resources). Encourage them to research it. Some will shrug it off, but I have found some are very open to it (usually the younger ones).

The silver lining in this...I KNOW who I am now. I have survived one of the most horrific experiences on this earth. I AM strong. And so are you! Its ok to cling to support on here for as long as you need it. but I promise you that you will slowly distance yourself from this site because you will start to move on with rebuilding your life - and you have a lot of catching up to do! 

I pray strength and healing for all you still suffering. I am grateful for the immense support I had on here when I needed it.

Hugs,

Trina75

PS...OMG I sleep - hard! And I can nap! So please know that sleep does return:)

Edited March 6 by [tr...]

[[An...]]

Congrats Trina and thanks for sharing. I had to google Hyperesthesia. I had no clue what that was.

It is wonderful to hear that you are sleeping good again.

 

You said>>>

Quote

Be gentle with yourself. Eat well, reduce stress. Have positive supportive people in your life. Get out in nature. Create. Rest. Balance is your best friend.

I agree 100%. I also agree with what you said about talking with your health providers " calmly and professionally" when it comes to benzos and issues with tolerance w/d. 👍

 

[[ma...]]

Hello, I am glad that you are continuing to recover, I am also extremely angry, they have hurt us and in what way.And no one is answering for it. I would also like compensation.In addition to the atrocious suffering, and not being warned of such danger, I wonder how much they have shortened our lives?Are there illnesses that no one would attribute to this traumatic episode?I agree with everything you describe. Good luck and be happy!!

[[Sh...]]

Sending u love Trina ❤️

[[Br...]]

@[tr...] - How wonderful to see you here and know that you have experienced so much healing.  I agree with you that good self care, diet, reduced stress are crucial.  I also identify with you that although we've come a very long way there may always be a certain vulnerability.  Thanks so much for coming by to share your wise words.  Wishing you much continued healing! 

[[de...]]

So good to get an update!!!!  Glad you are living your life the best you can.  I will be four years off on March 15.  What a journey!!!!

[[pi...]]

@[tr...]! Wow, it’s really good to hear from you, thanks so much for stopping by. I agree with you, even with challenges and setbacks healing continues. Your advice is spot on, self care is vitally important.

I remember the rough days you had, you’ve come a long way. There is nothing wrong with being angry with this situation, as long as the anger does not cause undue stress. It’s important to keep bringing the issue of benzo injuries to the attention to the world at large and to those who can implement change.

 

[[tr...]]

Ahh so nice to see messages from those I know so well! TY! Love to you all....

[[Gi...]]

@[tr...]

Congratulations on your recovery and continuing improvements.

My I ask if you experienced muscle tension, spasm or tightness and where about?

Also, how long did it take for these symptoms to subside?

Thank you Trina ❤️

[[...]]

 

Hi Trina,

I'm glad to hear from you, and that you continue to heal.

I have also been surprised by the ability of our brain to recover, I thought many times that that was not possible for me.

Thank you for the private messages of encouragement and for your love and messages of encouragement when I got Covid and collapsed even more than I was. You were a great help.

Wish you all the best. You're a great person.

A hug.

Aira

 

[[su...]]

On 06/03/2024 at 13:50, [[t...] said:

ut I have found that even with challenges and " setbacks" our bodies still continue to heal - which blows my mind. Because it feel like more damage. Remember what you're feeling is your sensitivity and your body needs to regulate again. I've come to accept that as with any injury, we may never be 100% again, but we are designed to heal. Neurogenesis/neuroplasticity is real. This is the slowest healing process - but its still healing.

Trina!  I am so happy to hear how good you sound.  Thank you for coming back and posting this; it was one of the first things I read after coming back on the boards myself after an almost 2 year hiatus.  I thought I was healed, that I could claim that 100%, and while I believe I may be in a flare/setback right now, I absolutely felt 100% for a good long while before this happened.  THAT is what I hold onto.  So, your gentle reminder that we are designed to heal, that even if what I am experiencing now is an unbelievably cruel turn of events, I am still healing and I will once again get back to that good spot. I could always depend upon your calming voice of reason during tough times, and here you are again.  

Big hugs to you and well wishes for continued thriving.  It sure feels good, doesn’t it!? 

sunshine 

Edited March 12 by [su...]

[[La...]]

Huge congratulations to you Trina! I’m overjoyed to read that you’re doing well and living your life pretty much normal again. 4 years is a huge deal and a long time waiting but you are a warrior! You did it! Decatur is turning 4 years and I’m getting close to that. I’ll be 45 months in a few days. I’ve also much improvements including my driving is slowly coming along. I have been one of the ones with you on this journey and know how much you’ve endured as we all have. Too see you doing well brings me such joy! I wish you to soon finish the last of your healing. May you go on to enjoy your new healed life. Thank you for the friendship, personal chats of encouragement, love and support that you gave me! I pray that I was a good support for you too! I think of you from time to time and wonder how you are…now I know. I’m so glad! Love you 😘 

[[Ma...]]

Congrats to you and continued success.  I agree whole-heartedly with your point about physicians, because I am one (Im a pathologist, not a psychiatrist by the way…lol). We were not taught about the dangers of benzo WD in medical school - AT ALL!  Lots of time talking about how hard it was for patients to quit opiates, alcohol, tobacco, etc.  But not benzos.  I see lots of posts about people angry with their doctors, and while I think individual physicians may be bad and each situation is different, the anger should be directed at the drug companies.  
   I myself was prescribed Clonazepam for issues related to acute anxiety and insomnia during a stressful period in my life 9 years ago.  Oh what I would give to go back in time and only have dealt with that anxiety in a different way.  I’m still a long ways from getting off this dreadful medicine but have come a long way and will not let it defeat me.  We need more advocates like Christy Huff and when I am healed I hope to find a way to do that in some small way. I do think physicians and PAs are now getting taught better in their training about these drugs, so that’s something at least.  

[[Bl...]]

Congratulations on your continued returning health . 
I think the takeaway from your post and journey is BE KIND TO YOURSELF as I think that being unkind to ourselves and not being mindful of our needs was what got us on these things in the first place . 
Thankyou