setback has ruined my life. 6.5yrs off

[[bw...]]

Hi group. I am 12 months into my setback which occured at 5.3 YEARS off benzos from taking pepcid.

It was much much worse than my initial withdrawal and taper. Infact i was around 80% healed prior to setback.

 

Now im just a shadow of the man who I once was.

 

I cant walk anymore. Im avergaing 250 to 500 steps a day. My fatigue is bone crushing. I am sensitive to all medication. Smells and chemicals. Severe agoraphobia (im new to this one). Severe OCD.

My heart is always racing. I can barely breathe (air hunger). STANDING is agony. I lay on my lounge and sleep all day.

I have ear pressure that is so extreme like my ear drums will burst at any minute.

I am constantly swaying side to side. Left to right like im a boat.

The only thing to resolve is akathesia which left me at around 8mos into my setback. 

I am loosing my will to live. I have lost near everything in my life due to this setback. I went back to college prior ro this setback and now I cannot go. As i cannot be on my feet longer than 5minutes due to fatigue. Doctors do not believe what is happening to me is from benzo injury.

Please be mindful of all medications you take. It can destroy your life. Setbacks are not a joke.

I AM 6.5 YEARS OFF BENZOS! And im 33 years old. I have no money due to been unable to work now and live off a disability pension.

[[Na...]]

I am so sorry to hear about your setback.

Have you seen any improvement over the last 12 months? Is there anything that makes things better or worse right now?

[[bw...]]

Akathesia has gone. Thats all.

All ive mentioned above is still with me.

Im very sensitive to foods so i have to eat gluten free diary free and low histamine. And only drink water.

[[Be...]]

I have trouble walking now too. 

[[Ne...]]

Bwhittters...you are young!  You have your whole life ahead of you!  Keep fighting! Keep hanging in there! You WILL heal. You are young!!  You can do this!

My last setback lasted 18 months.  And I healed from it.  Unfortunately, my healing was less than 9 months but I believe I had another setback due to x-rays, EKG, severe, severe stress and jumping right back into life to try and catch up.  

Currently, this setback I am in my 12th month.  When I heal again, I will not do any of the above plus no supplements, no alcohol...absolutely nothing that may mess with my gaba receptors.  I believe they are sensitive for a very long time.  I, also, do no gluten, caffeine, sugar and only eat pure.  Nothing processed.  I want to continue to take care of myself once I heal as if I am in a setback.

Please believe you WILL HEAL!!!

[[ti...]]

I'm in a 4 month setback from 2 oxycodone pills. I'm a little over 3 years out, was 80% better. It's really hard mentally. The nerve pain is killing me, way worse than acute. 

I've taken Pepcid AC with no issues, I've seen others take opioids with no issues. It's frustrating how unpredictable all of this is. Hopefully we turn a corner soon. 

[[bw...]]

Thankyou. Appreciate your comment. I know what you feel about setbacks. They are horrible. Especially acute type setbacks. Doctors just dont believe you whatsoever.

Im.so sensitive to everything.

[[Ro...]]

It's devasting to be back in this hell after a period of okay and what makes it harder to accept is that generally the reasons for the setback are from doing something completely benign. It's unimaginable that taking Pepcid or driving or stress can catapult you right back yet here we are. I am so sorry you've been dealing with this for 12 months you must be exhausted. 

I'm 9.5 years off and struggling with very similar sxs from a setback that I'm guessing is from stress and running back into life quicker than my nervous system liked. My physical and mental fortitude for this suffering is zero and like you I'm not sure I can do it again. However, I was reminded recently from someone who knows wd and how this works, that sometimes these setbacks can bring even more healing and closer to the finish mark. 

You're not alone bwhitters. Hugs my friend. 

 

 

[[bw...]]

Thankyou robyn. I hope this ends for both of us. I am so tired of it all.

[[Wi...]]

For me a setback caused waaaay worse issues than original drug trials and wd. And I thought it was bad back then… For me it was a hormonal med followed by an antibiotic. All when pregnant. It’s still getting worse for some mysterious reason. It’s been 19 months in this setback. The last two months made me stuck at home on my couch with my mum taking care of my baby at least a few hours every day. I feel like ending breastfeeding finished me off but I am not sure. 

Edited March 9 by [Wi...]

[[fe...]]

Just wanted to say as well that at 6 years off, I had 1.5 years of being relatively symptom free and feeling like a god be interrupted by the setback I'm now in. This setback, going on 4 months now feels just like acute, and like you I'm sensitive to freaking everything.  The only thing that helps is to rigidly stick to the same safe diet every day (which sucks), keeping exercise mild, and no sexual activity. Even then, after doing all of that, I'll still get randomly punished even harder than normal out of nowhere...

Edited March 17 by [fe...]