40 months out and desperate for reassurance

[[Ma...]]

Hi buddies, 

I am 40 months off after a 4 month long taper from Ativan, that I used rarely for a few months, and only consistently for 2 weeks. I have ventured back to BB after a long time of feeling happy and healed. I got COVID almost 3 months ago and have been in a tornado of intense waves for the past month. They feel to be getting worse. I was able to connect the dots earlier on…. Vitamin D, magnesium, primrose oil. All of my old sensitivities that I had overcome are back. The only thing I can think of now, is diet. I changed my diet to include foods high in magnesium and potassium and have never felt worse. I have out of body anxiety… something I have never experienced outside of my taper and acute phase. Is this possible from food? My heart rate is high at rest, which scares me. Last night I actually felt completely hopeless, the anxiety in my chest woke me from my sleep and was relentless. Before this I was eating what I wanted, exercising, living life fully. Is this my new normal? I’m reading so many scary stories of long setbacks after feeling completely healed. I don’t know how to do this again… 😢

[[It...]]

Hey Marwags, 

 

I'm so sorry that you're in a setback. I want to start by telling you that I'm one of those people that's had a very scary long setback. It's taken 2.5 years from me after I went through a period of being healed for 6 months. I am doing exceptionally well now compared to how things were in the beginning but I am definitely not fully recovered again yet. I have spoken with dozens of people who have had horrendous setbacks for whatever reason over the last few years and I have yet to meet anyone who has had a prolonged setback from anything other then a medication (this is just the anecdotal evidence that I've personally gathered). Supplement setbacks, stress setbacks, viral infection setbacks don't seem to have the same potential long term implications that comes with medication induced setbacks (again, just my personal opinion from talking to many others). 

Covid can be a doozy for some of the healthiest people, and some of the symptoms you are experiencing happen to the most "normal" of people. 

If I had to venture an educated guess is that covid just rang the bell of your nervous system, but it will ca and recover with more time!!! 

Have you had blood work done to prove that you have these nutrient deficiencies that you're trying to supplement with food for? If you don't have diagnosed deficiencies I would eat a healthy, balanced diet and not stress about it. Adding more stress to the pile is the last thing your system  needs right now. Back off of the supplements, don't go crazy over trying to get certain vitamins/minerals from food unless you have a diagnosed reason to and just let you're nervous system naturally calm down right now. At least for the next little bit. 

You will absolutely recover from this!! The fear you're having is completely normal and will get easier as time goes on (believe me, I had it too). You will heal, 100%.

Hang in there ♥️

[[Ma...]]

@[It...] thank you for your sensible and compassionate response. I think my nervous system is on a loop… looking into how to change that. I am going to just eat simply and give my system time… I try to control ‘health’ after this mess… my fear of being unhealthy is, well, unhealthy. 
thanks again for responding 💗

[[It...]]

@[Ma...] I totally get it. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, it's truly so unfair. You will get better though, I can promise you that! And please reach out anytime - I'm happy to give any reassurance I can, lord knows I've needed tons of it throughout this! Haha