Really feel like I can't do anything

[[...]]

My depression is really bad this morning.  Had a terrible nightmare.  It is like i have one day of anxiety and not bad depression - then a day of depression.  i feel bad that things are piling up so much.  i am afraid i will never get my life back.  i seem to really suck at forcing myself to do things that i don't feel like doing and the more people tell me that i must the worse i feel.  i am on wellbutrin (75 - 150) and have been thru the gambit on AD's. most do make me worse.  i do not like them but afraid to try to get off right now.  i just had lab work done yesterday - wish i had read what perseverance wrote about the MMA - will do that tho.

this is really tough.

i am so tired of feeling like this.  3rd day off .06 of K.  It has been 23 days of a taper.  was on .50 one a day or 2 for 5 months.  sorry i can't figure out how to put the info on the bottom.  3rd day on line but have been reading this stuff the entire time and it has really saved my butt.

the weeds are taking over outside.....is that ok?    this is me poking at me.  smile

[[BY...]]

Hello Panther,

 

There was a couple of nightmares I had, that scared and woke me up sooo fast, it was like being launched out of a cannon.http://i1139.photobucket.com/albums/n553/MiniRocky/smilie_kanone.gif Not fun at all.

 

You will probably hear a similar phrase to this, many times here. "People that haven't gone through this, will never fully understand how you feel on the inside while going through this recovery process." There are those who do try to help and if there is family member(friend) who will listen, don't be afraid to bend an ear.

 

I know what you mean about forcing yourself to do things. There were many times, I wanted to do something and all I could do was stare and become lost in my thoughts. In time, these cognition problems will correct themselves.

 

If you need any help with inserting a signature into your profile, you can ask for help at this link. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=68.0

 

Mike

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Thank you.  That bad dream situation happened this morning and i am still shaking from it.  the days are so long.  i am not working right now.  is it possible to hold down jobs during this.?    thank you so much for taking the time to help me.  i am so crazy right now.  what you said is true; no one understands; i never would have believed it.  i think i got my intro on right?

[[Pe...]]

Hang in there Panther.  You just got off this poison, time to be gentle with yourself for a while and not beat yourself up if you don't get a lot accomplished.  I will give you a few tips that helped me with motivation.

 

I do a lot of positive self-talk.  When my mind puts up a wall I actively fight back.  For instance if I think something feels too overwhelming to do I immediately think 'back' to it- it is NOT too overwhelming to do, it is easy.  If my mind told me- I can't do it, I would say 'back'- I can do it.  I basically say just the opposite back to each and every negative thought whether I believe it or not.

 

It is like giving yourself your own customized positive affirmations all day long and it really does work.

 

I also was careful about not setting myself up to feel overwhelmed.  I would pick one, and only one goal and not put a time limit on when I had to have it done.  I used to be such a multi-tasker, and I found myself trying to be THAT person in w/d, which was self defeating.  By choosing one goal at a time and not pressuring myself with a deadline, it no longer felt overwhelming.

 

I also used the self-talk with other w/d symptoms.  When I felt a symptom I would say things like- It's not real- over and over again and often times the symptom would subside.

 

These things worked for me so I just wanted to share them with you.

[[Wh...]]

Someone suggested to me once - go outside and pick 3 weeds - I'm passing that on to you. 

[[ok...]]

Panther,

 

I understand how frightening and real nightmares can be, especially when we are vulnerable.

 

I think Perserverance has some good points.  Although positive self-talk may seem difficult at the time.  Just start slowly and you will find that your mind will be more accepting of it as you continue.

 

Every day you are making a huge accomplishment...you are no longer putting poison in your system and you are healing.  Not much more than that is required right now.  I don't have a job either and I now how long the days and nights can be.  I try to take a walk every day, usually right when I wake up so that I am forced to not just dwell on myself.  I do research on the internet of things that I am interested in and it helps me feel like I am doing something.  And as bad as it sounds, I play solitaire on my computer when I just need to do something.  I am becoming champion material.

 

Congratulations on being benzo-free.  Keep getting up, logging on and letting us know how you are doing.

 

Warmest regards,

 

Kelly

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Kelly Whoopsie, Pereverence & Mike - thanks so much for the tips - great tips. today was better.  i went to return things at home depot on a saturday!  i'm a hero in my own eyes.  you guys are great.  i am so thankful.  because of people like u i never have to feel alone in this,  Thank God for computers....and tv's  smile

[[Wh...]]

Wow ... home depot on a Saturday?  ... you are a hero!!!  I know how insane that that feels and you did it anyways.  Yay!!!