THE MOST UNEXPECTED SUCCESS, WORTH THE WAIT!!!

[[ap...]]

On 28/10/2023 at 15:42, [[K...] said:

You are very welcome. I would encourage you to continue to do little creative things that make you feel inner joy and feel like your creative self... whatever that may be. I am creative too and little things like floral arranging, a small craft, painting, etc. bring me so much joy and are the healthiest best distraction. I am so happy you are feeling your creativity come back. That is such a good sign! It's so weird, when I started feeling better, I was getting little rushes of hobbies and creative inclinations back that I hadn't thought about in years. The brain is so magical and capable of healing and remembering what makes you happy! <3

 

[[Wi...]]

On 22/09/2023 at 11:24, [[h...] said:

because of a benzo injury... which is basically like a brain injury so physical... i think things like exposure therapy can only help once healing has come a long way and you are already at thej brighter side of things, then it can heal what got kinda stuck while healing from the benzo, but not until the brain has healed

Yes, I would say to anyone early on in their journey, especially in acute that please know that rest, safety and just making it through the days are the most important things right now.

The pushing, testing your boundaries and exposure comes much later once the nervous system has had time to heal a bit more. Pushing too early has caused me unnecessary waves and delayed my healing, because my “will to heal myself” was greater than the acceptance of the natural healing process that the body goes through and that time is the most important factor. I think it depends a lot on the individual but just wanted to comment to anyone very early on who might be reading this and thinking that they need to start doing more. The key is to really listen to your body. 

Edited November 4, 2023 by [Wi...]

[[Go...]]

On 22/09/2023 at 03:07, [[C...] said:

@[Ke...] I needed this so much today, thank you. I'm almost 7.5 years out and yes...it's been really bad, especially in the last year and a half. I've had a lot of stressful, really crappy things outside of my control. I cope the best I can and try to hope. Today was a really bad day. Anyway, lately I've been forcing myself to do certain things I've been avoiding for a long time, mainly driving, strength training, and cooking. It's getting a little easier, so long as I don't drive far and don't do too many reps. I'm easing into things. I'm not sure exposure therapy works for us in the same way it would someone not in withdrawal, but it lets us take a little of our power back and that's important. 

Anyway, I haven't been able to really relate to anyone's experience much in awhile, so thank you for posting your story. It's encouraging. And congrats to finally be feeling healed.

7.5 years?!?!?!

[[de...]]

@[Go...] Please know 7.5 years is not typical at all for recovery.   Most people recover much sooner.  Please don't compare your story to others as there really is no way of telling how long it will take for you.    There also may have been extenuating circumstances that caused this long recovery.   

[[Go...]]

13 minutes ago, [[d...] said:

@[Go...] Please know 7.5 years is not typical at all for recovery.   Most people recover much sooner.  Please don't compare your story to others as there really is no way of telling how long it will take for you.    There also may have been extenuating circumstances that caused this long recovery.   

But if it’s not typical, then why are there SO MANY on BB that lists these time frames???  

[[de...]]

Well, a couple of reasons.  Benzo Buddies tends to have some of the toughest situations, and once again, we don't know everyone's circumstances.   Also, I am not sure there are "so many" members at the 7.5 time frame.

[[mi...]]

@[Go...] it's like reading reviews online, you get the people who are so excited they can't wait to tell everyone or the ones who are so pissed off they want the world to know. Think about it, do you really expect the people who are doing well to say to their family, as much as I'd like to watch a movie with you all I'm gonna go spend 2 hours on BB? No, they're living their lives. The people who aren't yet well are glued to this site. And there aren't thousands of active horrifically suffering people on here every day. People come and go and some stick around, but if you notice it's lots of the same ones posting because they are in the thick of it at the moment. There's millions of people on benzos right now, so even if there were 1000 people on here right now 7.5 years out it's a speck of sand on the beach statistically. When I am well I don't go near this site. This is a triage center for those struggling. Even the paper done by BIC that came up with the term BIND, they surveyed people online and in various facebook and support groups. So the samples there are not accurate of the general population. There is a guy I read about who is 30 years out and still damaged. Then there's my uncle who cold turkeyed 6 years of K and never felt anything. We tend to freak out about the 30 years out guy and disregard my uncle and think we are all skewed towards the worst because we feel horrible and hopeless right now. The brain can't perceive hope when in the thick of it, so it's natural to panic, we all want someone to give us a time frame and say this will be you, but the worst thing you can do is spend too much time on here, it will mess with your head. This all sucks and I hate that I'm dealing with this stuff, but just keep realizing that you can only control today, and when tomorrow comes you control that. The rest is gonna happen the way it's gonna happen no matter if you stress about it or not.

Edited November 20, 2023 by [mi...]

[[Ch...]]

@Gonzo2504 There are a few of us who are this far out and a lot of us aren't on the forum. Not everyone becomes protracted. Most people don't take this long. But some of us do. Your story is your story and my story is my story.

If I read your post history correctly, it looks like you're only off 9 months. Why are you even on the protracted board if that's the case? I find it upsetting when people only a few months off come on the one safe space I have and comment on the fact that I'm this far off. This should be one spot where we can just be. 

You may not like that it takes some of us an especially long time to heal. I'm not a big fan, either. We all heal eventually, though.

Edit: I forgot this was a success story and not in the protracted room. Apologies for that. I still stand by the rest of what I said. Being protracted sucks, but sometimes I feel like a circus animal or something and other people in the community are pointing at me and throwing peanuts. There are so few protracted success stories and it would be nice of this one had been left alone. Every time someone says "omg 7.5 years?!" or something like "I'd never have stuck it out that long"...suggesting they don't know why I didn't off myself at this point...it's SO triggering. I just wish people could be a little more kind and thoughtful about the things they say. I realize that new folks can't really understand what it's like to be protracted, so that's why I'm telling you.

Edited November 20, 2023 by [Ch...]

[[Ch...]]

And P.S., don't assume that there are extenuating circumstances. I'm not taking any meds or drinking or doing anything I'm not supposed to be doing. I know people like to assume that to make themselves feel better, but it's not fair to the person being judged. Unfortunately, some of us just take awhile. 

[[Go...]]

@[mi...] thanks for your words!!  I really needed what you wrote.

[[Go...]]

20 hours ago, [[C...] said:

And P.S., don't assume that there are extenuating circumstances. I'm not taking any meds or drinking or doing anything I'm not supposed to be doing. I know people like to assume that to make themselves feel better, but it's not fair to the person being judged. Unfortunately, some of us just take awhile. 

.

Edited November 20, 2023 by [Go...]
Inappropriate response

[[Go...]]

@[Ch...] 

Edited November 20, 2023 by [Go...]
Inappropriate response

[[Ch...]]

Not inappropriate at all. You want people to respect what you're going through, but it works both ways.

[[An...]]

Gonzo, how were you feeling when you were on the 7 mgs of klonopin? I bet pretty awful. You had clearly become tolerant at this dose and I bet you had also become quite sick. I know you are thinking at 9 months off, why am I not feeling a little better? I wish you were feeling a little better and having some windows. That would at least give you some hope and the strength to endure the waves. Thoughts of reinstatement start to enter your mind when you suffer day after day with seemingly no end in sight. You start to ruminate about only the negative things you read about benzo w/d and how I am going to be the only one who does not heal or that perhaps this shows I really need to still be on the drug but you also know in your heart that at 7 mgs, you had become quite sick and tolerant on the drug. I know I had these same thoughts when I was taken off K CT in a detox facility back in 2006. I was not nearly off as long as you. After I was discharged, I ran to my PCP and begged him to put me on valium, not knowing if it would work or not but I was deathly afraid of touching Klonopin ever again. In my case, the valium did bring some relief. I was lucky as this is not always the case when you reinstate. I made the mistake after I stabilized on the valium of thinking I will just stay on it for the rest of my life bc I was so traumatized by the whole Klonopin ordeal.

Well, I became tolerant to the valium several years later and here I am today still fighting this tolerance w/d monster. I don't think you really have much of a choice but to keep holding on and using BB as a support lifeline. I wish I could tell you if or when you will feel better, but I can't. It can take a long time for some ppl but no one stays in benzo w/d forever.