CT vs. W/D

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I read so many threads here and some scare me...others give me tons of hope.  I read a lot of people who say that 3 or 4 months off they are barely functioning and really struggling...but this seems to be true most often w/ those who CT.  Am I correct?  Are the s/x more strong after CT then from those who tapered?  I know from experience tapering isn't easy, but it just seems to be far more easy on our body/mind than to go CT. 

 

Just so many questions in my head...need to get some out.  lol

 

Hope this all made sense.

 

Hugs to all,

Schatje

[[am...]]

Just to be clear, as I see so much confusion about the term CT,  CT is abruptly stopping your regular dose, not tapering down 50% then jumping off.  

 

The initial few weeks of a CT might well be worse than any point in a taper, then again jumping off after a taper could be just as bad.  Just looking around the forum you can see people doing incredibly long slow tapers in absolute misery for the whole time, many of them seem to end up on other drugs/potions/therapies to mitigate the misery of their symptoms (same for CT too) but the simple fact (as I see it) is that is if you are going to suffer you are going to suffer, you can either spread it out over a taper or get it over and done with in a CT.

 

 

People's healing stories are very incomplete pictures, what they are experiencing and how they deal with it are unknown.  We don't know their personalities, their pain thresholds, their "perseverance" ability.  Some people whine over the slightest thing, some people do absolutely nothing to help themselves, others are determined to do what they can as soon as they can.  It's just like most things in life, it's more about the individual than anything else.

 

 

The initial "hit" of a CT can be very very hard, which could possibly explain why many people can't "handle" it or judge it to be worse, but in the long run, if you factor in the length of taper plus post jump healing time, against a CT and post healing time, I think you will find if nothing else, the CT has a slightly faster overall healing time.

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I concur, amano.

 

Very logical reasoning on your part.

[[An...]]

I got addicted to Xanax within a matter of days. The doctor switched me to Valium and gave me the option of a slow taper over several months or a fast 12 day taper.  I chose the latter even though the withdrawals were horrendous. I could not envisage dragging it out thus exposing my body/brain to longer on the drug.  You can't guarantee a symptom-free withdrawal after a long, slow taper so I'm glad I jumped off when I did.  Just my experience anyway.

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I get your point.  I fully understand this is all so individualized and that there's not one path for everyone.  And I can see how the taper could be seen as one long drawn out CT.  Makes sense...as I've been tapering since last September without a ton of major relief (nowhere near symptom-free)...although I'm not puking everyday and living on the sofa like so many I read who did CT. 

 

Just curious is all.  I've chosen my path with no plans to turn back - especially since I'm almost done with tapering.  And I personally didn't need a strew of other drugs to get me through it...just will.  Thanks for all your input!

 

All the best,

Schatje

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Schatje,

I feel like I did such a major decrease when I began to get off benzos that it was close, if not, as bad as a CT.  I was suffering sooooo bad for a few months that, finally getting a dr on board to switch me to Valium and slow taper was the best solution for me.  I think the safest way to get off benzos and not shock the nervouse system to the extreme of a CT is a slow taper.  I think you are on the right track and keep moving forward.  I WANT to believe that once we jump it will not be as bad as a CT.  Have faith.  I know, I do also, question this madness but tapering is our best option if we have it available.

Renee

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Thanks Renee 

 

I think you can see I'm nervous to have that last dose. 

 

I think I feel that if my body/mind has done all this work these past 9 months, then SURELY it can't at least get worse once I'm off!  And I just cling to that.  I can't imagine CT...I fully understand WHY people would choose it over the long taper...but I really just can fathom those first weeks or months nonetheless!  I've heard too many people who CT'd who are just suffering so much, whereas I read more "slightly" positive stories from those who tapered.  Only time will tell what's in store for m over this next month or two...but I keep my fingers/toes crossed that it doesn't get worse...only better.

 

Thanks again Renee...hugs,

Schatje

[Guest [Si...]]

Schatje,

 

Hi there,

 

I know there are a lot of scary stories out there. Yes you can rip a band aid off slowly or fast! 

 

BUT let me tell you, I c/t 5mg of Klonopin once, and there's a big difference in tapering and throwing it down.

I had a seizure, throwing it down, it's not recommended at all.

There is a difference in tapering and c/t if you ask me. The only way someone would really know, well, if they did both.

I certainly did, and there's no way I could have managed a c/t.

 

You best taper

 

There are many people, who have successful tapers with Valium.

 

Also, going c/t could cause protracted symptoms.

 

I will tell you this, as I have tapered.. in many ways I have healed, but there is some withdrawal.. yes.

 

So, I believe we heal as we taper.

 

One big jolt to the CNS isn't fun 

 

S#

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Thanks a ton, Sigma,

 

You always have great advice for all.  I wouldn't CT...I'm so close to the end I wouldn't dare now (or before).  I think it's just the reassurance I need to know I'm doing the right thing...even though deep down i know I am.  I am sure I'll heal fully...I'm just stuck in a bit of a rut lately and although I come out of it for a day or 2, it then comes back and i start to feel scared/lonely/anxious, etc. 

 

Thanks again so much...all the best...hugs,

Schatje

[[St...]]

 

One big jolt to the CNS isn't fun 

 

S#

 

:thumbsup:

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Good post amano,  i may be one of those people that moan over nothing lol

This is interesting, I suppose in the end you do whats best for you...

Angel, I agree with u, that was a long taper for the time u were on the drugs.

 

I didnt even imagine crossing over to anything... I did my 50% cuts all the way down to .03. IT sucked but I am free finally , thats all that matters.

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Schajte,

 

I just wanted to congratulate you on how far you have come.  You should be off this poison in time for the 4th of July holiday or sooner!

 

I believe that your taper period is not just a time when you are reducing the drug so that you can get off it with less pain.  I also believe that with each reduction your brain is adjusting to the lower dose and going through it's gradual healing process. 

 

Keep up the good work, you have had a very consistent taper schedule.  I look forward to following your progress once you are free.

 

Warmest regards,

 

Kelly

[[am...]]

I am free finally , thats all that matters.

 

exactly.

[[xe...]]

I have done both c/t and tapering. Let me tell you, tapering can be just as bad as c/t. In fact, I've gone through periods that were WORSE than c/t during this taper. But I do get some breaks (though I have gone a good two weeks without one.) I can't imagine being in c/t for 6+ months with no improvement, no breaks at all. But with no guarantees of anything when this hell taper is finally over, I can tell you, without a doubt, that I wish I stuck out that c/t. And that if I could go back to 4 months ago when I began tapering that last mg of K, I would have just jumped off of it, again without much of a doubt there.

 

I'd like to hope all this taper suffering hasn't been for nothing and I am healing, but who really knows... when I'm finally benzo free for good, I can tell you what this entire taper+final healing compared to my month of c/t+re-stabilization period. But by then you'll be free and healed and won't care anymore

 

I am pretty sure, with Valium, jumping off that last 0.5mg, isn't much worse than the taper, in most cases.

[[ma...]]

Hi Schatje,

 

I've wondered this myself; I've also done a long taper.  Congratulations to you, you're almost home free. 

 

I sometimes feel like I might have drawn this out a little longer than necessary because I've only had few decent days throughout.  I've gotten more windows in the last couple months though.  I think the pluses to tapering are 1) it's not such a trauma to the system, 2) your brain has a chance to adjust and heal as you go, and 3)it's easier to reduce your psychological dependency over time.

 

Another thing that scares me about c/t besides the obvious--seizures, etc., is that I would be REALLY out of control and jeopardize my safety, relationships...  The taper's been hard enough, so I can't imagine a more intense version of this.  I'm also glad I had the time to make healthy adjustments to my life.  During my taper I've completely given up caffeine, most sugar, improved my diet, increased my exercise, to name a few so for me this route worked.  I think it might cut the time post-benzos that it takes to fully recover.

 

mal

 

 

 

 

[Guest [Si...]]

Hi Schatje,

 

As you can see everyone has different experiences.

 

Thanks a ton, Sigma,

 

You always have great advice for all.  I wouldn't CT...I'm so close to the end I wouldn't dare now (or before).  I think it's just the reassurance I need to know I'm doing the right thing...even though deep down i know I am.  I am sure I'll heal fully...I'm just stuck in a bit of a rut lately and although I come out of it for a day or 2, it then comes back and i start to feel scared/lonely/anxious, etc. 

 

Thanks again so much...all the best...hugs,

Schatje

 

I wouldn't CT...I'm so close to the end I wouldn't dare now (or before).

 

Yes, you're very close, keep going, and try not read too much into the horror stories that may cause you to feel more anxious.

 

i start to feel scared/lonely/anxious, etc.

 

 

These are common withdrawal symptoms. And yes you will heal.

 

Hang in there and to let you know, while tapering, yes I have hit a few walls.

 

So, what do you do?

 

You can't walk through it nor do we feel like we have the strength to climb over it.

 

We keep going, and you'll find yourself.. walking around it

 

S#

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Thanks again everyone for the great input,

 

Yesterday was one of "those days" where I could barely do more than cry - I am SO emotional lately!  But even after a really rough night's sleep, I am alert today and feel brighter.  I am almost done...and I'm thankful for that.  Then the rest of the healing can begin.

 

I've often worried - especially lately - if I'm going too fast.  I am tapering .5mg per 5 days right now.  But I'll just listen to my body.  I am willing to put up with quite a bit of w/d s/x. 

 

It's interesting to see everyone's perspective on it all based on their experiences.  I feel I did the right thing for me, but can understand why others choose to CT.  I can't fathom it, but I can understand the decision.

 

Take care and hugs,

Schatje

[[Pe...]]

I think people need to decide if they can take a chance on not being able to drive or care for themselves for 5 or more months when deciding whether to CT or not.

 

When I was crossing over fro Ativan to Valium and reducing my overall benzo dosage simultaneously, I was miserable.  But I could still drive, bath, shop, and cook food.  After Detox I could do none of these activities and at 5 months out I am still quite disabled.  So if someone needs to work or has no one to help them it might be better to go through the slow agony of tapering in order to maintain some semblance of physical ability.

 

If I could go back and do it over, I think I would have done a dry cut taper on Ativan and never tried to cross over to Valium.  Who knows if I would have really been better off though.

 

At the same time, as I read the posts of people struggling through their tapers I sometimes think, well at least I am off them and not going through that BS anymore.  No more trying to cut itsy bitsy pills with razor blades, struggling with the math for tapering in a sea of cog fog, having to go to my DR and pharmacy every single month for refills, worrying if I put my pill pack in my purse when I leave the house, or wondering if I filled my pill packs correctly.

 

I am where I am now, no way would I ever take another benzo no matter what.  No going back.

 

But I do sometimes wonder about it all.  However, I have accepted my lot and am pressing forward - can't live in the past!

 

 

[[we...]]

 

 

  No more trying to cut itsy bitsy pills with razor blades, struggling with the math for tapering in a sea of cog fog,

 

lol

 

my interdose withdrawals were so bad, 8 hrs of rolling panics and extreme anxiety every day, that a quick taper was the only solution for me.  a slow taper was just not possible and Dr. Frankenstein did not want to cross me over to valium.

[[cu...]]

Hey There,

From what I have seen from my close friends, a CT may or may not be as bad as a taper...and a taper may or may not be as bad as a CT. Some suffer either way, and may have suffered either route they took. I personally feel if you are on a high dose regardless of the time you were on, a taper, fast or slow is best to prevent seizures.

 

I know some people who swear a fast taper is the best way to get off, because she withdrew along with people who did a very slow taper, and they suffered the whole time, and suffered for 18-24 after...while she was healed by the time they were just tapering off.  She feels that a long taper can mess someone up because its longer time being on the pills.

 

It just depends on how dependent the person was on the medication, how sensitive their nervous system is, their overall health...or it may not be dependent on anything...no one knows! There is no rhyme or reason to this mess. Someone who had zero symptoms from a taper may not have had any symptoms if they CT...and some CT and feel horrid then reinstate and taper off with little to no problems. It just doesn't make sense!!

 

I have a friend who counsels people through benzo withdrawal, and went through it herself. She told me that in most cases, from a CT or taper, many are healed by 2 years regardless...and some take a bit longer.

 

Hope this makes sense...my brain is working a bit better but sometimes its hard to articulate words correctly.

[Guest [Si...]]

However, I have accepted my lot and am pressing forward - can't live in the past!

 

That's the truth, best to accept the transition and press on.

 

 

[[ja...]]

I'm sorry but I have to be real! A C/T is no Joke and being my experience

having shocked my brain with in 6 days of C/T leaving me like a infint with 30sxs

at once for 7 months no let up has to be a bad choice!

Noway am I saying tapper isn't hell or you dont suffer I believe you do!

But when some1 stops abruptly there benzo seizures along with mad shock occurs to CNS and Brain!When tapering there is relief pill to the brain wether or not your body feels relief..I'm just sayin we always talk about the way to go is thru slow and long taper because in between cuts there is slow healing and not to much shock all at 1 time!

Again this is my experience I know tapering is Hell and suffering is awful No doubt!

 

~Jenny

[Guest [Si...]]

Jenny,

 

I agree. When I c/t 5mg of Klonopin, it stunned me. I had a tonic clonic seizure in my mother's front lawn, it was a jolt I will never forget.

Electrical ball bouncing in my head, and everything looked bent and swirly and I was floored. I made it to day 5 or 6 before I seized.

 

I don't understand how some people just throw it down and have no withdrawal. I had a friend, she threw 3mg of Klonopin down c/t and no withdrawal. She said, "I felt more energetic and that was about it." She took it for three years.

Now, someone tell me how she did it! It's beyond me! And no, she wasn't on any other medication, but insulin for diabetes.

I tell her about withdrawal, and she don't get it.

 

Yes, tapering has its ups and downs, but compared to what I went through within just thirty minutes of that c/t.. this is 0 compared to that, and the doctor who told me to do it, well, she will hear from me one day! It's serious business, a c/t is. Pushed me over the edge and then some.

 

S#

[[xe...]]

I threw down like 8mg+ of Klonopin once, and didn't have a seizure, no supportive meds. Go figure. (And most emphatically, I had w/d!) Probably would have if I stuck it out, IDK.

[[cd...]]

C/T withdrawal can potentially kill you. I wouldn't recommend anyone consider it, even on a low dose. I think most of us who have c/ted have done so because we didn't know there was another way or made the mistake of trusting a detox facility. I've been in w/d for almost six months and have felt nothing but fear and pain every day. I'm still terrified a lot of the time that this won't end or that I'll die like this. Some mornings I can't even recognize my own face in the mirror. It's horrible.