Psychosis attacks!

[[hl...]]

I keep having these episodes, mostly at night, where I am suddenly hit with intense derealization and depersonalization that is so intense I believe it might be psychosis. First comes the dread, depression, and fear. Then it will get more intense and transition into me having thoughts wondering if I am real and if the world is real and if I exist. I then start freaking out and it gets worse and I get stuck in this damaged mental state. I am severely mentally ill. I can’t escape this loop.

 

I have this looming dreadful thought that even when I am fully healed, at any moment my reality can shatter and everything will feel fake and like I’m not real. It’s so terrifying to feel like your reality is held together by a rubber band about to snap, at any moment I can slip into a seemingly psychotic episode.

 

What the hell is wrong with me? Am I crazy? Does this go away? Will I heal? Why can’t I just exist in the normal world and have normal thoughts, why must I experience so much torture?

 

It’s been over a year since my last dose, I think it’s time to accept reality and accept that I am mentally ill. I just want to run and scream and escape, but I can’t escape the danger. The danger is in my head and I’m in jail. I’m wondering if I should just check myself into a facility

[[ki...]]

Hello Hllaya,

I understand you, it's very hard.

 

Just please don't forget that everything that happened to you is because of the so-called "drugs". Mental hospital, doctors, it's part of the same problem you're dealing with.

 

I understand that it is psychologically easier for you to think "yes, this is a mental illness, damage to the brain.

this will not change the fact that all these doctors, "Specialists " not knowing the structures of the brain, not understanding the complexity of the biological organism and of course, being blind to life itself, will not help you in any way.

All this so called " health care" facilities can only complicate things. Or at best they can help in an emergency.

 

The body of each of us has a huge intelligence and is always trying to find balance and self-regulate.

trust him. Give it more time.

 

Don't be afraid. Make your life as easy as you can but don't go down that road again. This is just one class of drugs led you to this.

I know hey have poison for every day.

 

If you feel like running out and screaming, do it! Do not torture yourself. The body is intelligent.

Forget social norms.

I have akathisia, I walk 20 kilometers a day until I fall( it helps)

Today I realized that for 3 months now I have numb areas all over my face and the ribs of my hands.

should I cry, get angry, be paralyzed with fear?

should i start taking another poison like lyricа to attack my blood, liver, kidneys, heart, brain.

or to heal myself with exercises, food, herbs. I giving a trust to my body and our planet( where we born) made to live in this eco system.

What are you afraid of?

Or you continue the old way( admit yourself to " mental hospital" which led you to this ( then there is no point in stopping benzodiazepines in the 1st place) they done enough damage to be dependent on them forever.

 

Or you see what are they done to you and you see the reaction of your body and what is it trying to show you.

 

" psychotic episode " - just an idea

" Normal " - just in idea ( nothing is normal about the lifestyle we all are living.

 

This isntorture i am agree with you. But all actions , desicions led all of us to where we are now.

So our body is showing to us( it is not good for me) for now i am in state like this until the balance is reached.

 

It is healing, you need to help it, with all your energy❤️

If you want talk in text/ voice . You can write to me.

Take care

[[Re...]]

I am sorry that you are having such a hard time. A year is a long time to suffer. I don't blame you for considering all options.

 

Nobody on this forum is qualified to diagnose mental illness or psychosis. What I know about mental illness is that people who have it usually do not know that they have it. Psychotic people do not question if they have psychosis. They think their world is real and do not question if it is mental illness.

 

If you want to take drugs, it is your decision. The drugs can cause what they cure. As long as you are prepared that things could get better or worse and you have a plan, I think that is the most important thing to do. Because things, as bad as they are, can always get worse in this stupid benzo injury world. If you check into a facility you risk losing your autonomy. It could also help you. Nobody really can tell you what can happen. You will likely come out poly drugged or put on ECT or TMS. You will be seen through a mental health lens and not a benzo injury lens. These benzos cause neurological conditions and unless a doctor is really evolved, they won't know that.