Agoraphobia trauma

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Hey guys, i don’t remember if my my last dose was July 12 or June, so I’m either 11-12 months off my last dose. I’ve been really struggling with agoraphobia and some mental issues that come along with that. I feel like I’ve made no progress. I’m scared to drive places alone, scared to go out in the world, scared to leave my home. When I’m out, everything just feels… different and wrong. I feel like I’m trapped in a weird mental state when outside my home. I don’t know how to describe it, it just feels like something is off. I feel like my mind isn’t clear and I can’t see well and the world isn’t real. I remember I used to be able to do things without even think about it, now it’s so difficult. I’m so scared and fearful. I’m worried about “snapping”. Like my reality is about to snap in half and I’m always on the boarder of psychosis. I’m have an irrational feat that something bad will happen to me and I won’t be able to get home safely I feel like my amegdela is so damaged, like I’m stuck in a primal state

 

I also feel like I have a lot of PTSD and trauma from my anxiety. I just feel a constant state of dread whenever I leave the house.

 

Why do I still feel this way? I feel like I’ll never recover from the trauma and the torture I endured, and I feel permanently scarred from my experiences

[[Ca...]]

I don't have an answer for you but am writing to send support.  I went to rehab 7 years ago and did a rehab taper and had that agoraphobia for two years afterwards and then relapsed. This time I am doing a microtaper and and about halfway through and feel like this every day and worry it will continue even when off.

 

You can PM me if you want to discuss coping skills.

[[Le...]]

Hey guys, i don’t remember if my my last dose was July 12 or June, so I’m either 11-12 months off my last dose. I’ve been really struggling with agoraphobia and some mental issues that come along with that. I feel like I’ve made no progress. I’m scared to drive places alone, scared to go out in the world, scared to leave my home. When I’m out, everything just feels… different and wrong. I feel like I’m trapped in a weird mental state when outside my home. I don’t know how to describe it, it just feels like something is off. I feel like my mind isn’t clear and I can’t see well and the world isn’t real. I remember I used to be able to do things without even think about it, now it’s so difficult. I’m so scared and fearful. I’m worried about “snapping”. Like my reality is about to snap in half and I’m always on the boarder of psychosis. I’m have an irrational feat that something bad will happen to me and I won’t be able to get home safely I feel like my amegdela is so damaged, like I’m stuck in a primal state

 

I also feel like I have a lot of PTSD and trauma from my anxiety. I just feel a constant state of dread whenever I leave the house.

 

Why do I still feel this way? I feel like I’ll never recover from the trauma and the torture I endured, and I feel permanently scarred from my experiences

You are not damaged forever, you will heal and those symptoms will eventually leave. I keep a journey where I write down my symptoms and a little about what happened from week to week. Because i do that I can see patterens in how my brain work and how the symptoms lessen over time. You are still early in withdrawal, you might feel like its been like that for you forever. But I hasent and you will feel better. I sometime watch videoes on youtube about withdrawal, one of them dont really have any triggers. But I follow about 4-5 people on youtube. If you want the name of the two who makes positive videoes about withdrawal just pm me or let me know in this topic if you are interested. It might be the support you need. All the best to you.

[[dj...]]

Hey guys, i don’t remember if my my last dose was July 12 or June, so I’m either 11-12 months off my last dose. I’ve been really struggling with agoraphobia and some mental issues that come along with that. I feel like I’ve made no progress. I’m scared to drive places alone, scared to go out in the world, scared to leave my home. When I’m out, everything just feels… different and wrong. I feel like I’m trapped in a weird mental state when outside my home. I don’t know how to describe it, it just feels like something is off. I feel like my mind isn’t clear and I can’t see well and the world isn’t real. I remember I used to be able to do things without even think about it, now it’s so difficult. I’m so scared and fearful. I’m worried about “snapping”. Like my reality is about to snap in half and I’m always on the boarder of psychosis. I’m have an irrational feat that something bad will happen to me and I won’t be able to get home safely I feel like my amegdela is so damaged, like I’m stuck in a primal state

 

I also feel like I have a lot of PTSD and trauma from my anxiety. I just feel a constant state of dread whenever I leave the house.

 

Why do I still feel this way? I feel like I’ll never recover from the trauma and the torture I endured, and I feel permanently scarred from my experiences

 

There is a guy from my hometown I’ve talked to who got hit bad with the benzo injury.  He told me he couldn’t go in public or drive a car for 18 months after he discontinued.  His sister had to bring him groceries and stuff.  But, then the fear and agoraphobia just sort of fizzled away.  Started going to football games with 100k people again. 

 

I relate to your post very much.  I fear I’m going to be traumatized by this and never be able to do all those things again.  Thankfully, I was granted a 90% symptom free two day window a few months ago which gave me a glimpse of how things will be.  Just woke up one morning and nearly all my 50 symptoms were gone.  It was like my body and mind completely relaxed and I was eager to do things again and not afraid.  I had some junk thoughts but I was able to disregard them by and large.  It was a shocking and eye opening experience. 

 

There is a guy who wrote a success story here a couple years ago who said he was in constant fear for 15 months and near the end of his rope.  He could go out in public briefly and would actually go to work at his family owned business, but would basically just sit at his desk in his office and play on the internet.  One day while at work, he said nearly everything just vanished in an instant and never came back.  I saw a YouTube video of another guy who said he woke up one morning and it was all gone.  So, healing can happen quickly. 

 

What you may not realize is that your body isn’t relaxed either.  We tend to get caught in our minds because that’s where we think, but our bodies are driving a lot of this.