Today is a bad day

[[Go...]]

Does it always feel like today is the worst day you've experienced?

[[Co...]]

No, I mean don't get me wrong. I feel absolutely horrible. But I do notice I was a lot worse in many aspects in January. I couldn't even speak back then. I couldn't get out of bed. Now I can.

[[B1...]]

I had that for a very long time. I still have those days. But every week I get a bit stronger, maybe 0.00001% and then other days I'm 5000% worse. I think the change has been pushing myself to do things that I used to find enjoyable that I no longer find enjoyable but it's better than doing nothing. I'm better at distracting myself too. Ex/ I started watching the Crown while simultaneously reading about the monarchy. Doing multiple things at once keeps my brain occupied from the torture. I know you're struggling a lot of right now Gonzo, but it absolutely does get better. And I know we are both (and Coco too I imagine) very far from where we want to be but every day we are healing a bit more.

 

Our brains WANT to heal, they want to get back to homeostasis, they are working on building the tools to do so.

 

I know you struggled with pre-existing anxieties and fears and obsessions but when you are more healed you'll be able to tackle those with therapy, just like people who didn't go through benzo withdrawal. Just gotta hold tight until then. It's so fucking hard, I know.