Is this normal ?

[[st...]]

17 months and I feel worse then ever. Lots of symptoms from the beginning are gone but I have new ones and I feel like my mental/head symptoms are worse. I can't drive again. I'm not sure I can take this much longer. I thought I'd be healed by now. This is so scary

[[Re...]]

Hi, So sorry you’re feeling this way. Can you say what went and what had started? Are you taking any other meds or supplements?

[[st...]]

I'm going on day 15 of this awful wave. I didn't do anything different. I don't take meds and I eat pretty darn good most of the time. There's no ryme or reason to these things for me. I could have 2 good days and then be back in hell. 17 months out though and feeling acute bad. I don't get it. I'm losing my mind. My world was already small but it keeps getting smaller

[[Fo...]]

Yeah, it is.  It's so awful

[[Re...]]

I'm going on day 15 of this awful wave. I didn't do anything different. I don't take meds and I eat pretty darn good most of the time. There's no ryme or reason to these things for me. I could have 2 good days and then be back in hell. 17 months out though and feeling acute bad. I don't get it. I'm losing my mind. My world was already small but it keeps getting smaller

 

 

What symptoms are gone versus what is presenting now? I am so sorry that you are going through this at 17 months. I feel like 18 months and 24 months are key turning points in many success stories -- maybe you are close!! Some people report an uptick in symptoms until they then start to fall away. So there is hope. (This is just one person's study of patterns in this weird withdrawal process.) I hope this brings some comfort.

[[st...]]

I no longer have twitching muscles or a burning brain, food sensitive is Alomost gone, no more burning skin or tight throat. and my blood pressure is way more stable. The first 9 months or so I couldn't hear a TV. It would freak me out. That's fading but I still have so many other symptoms. I haven't been able to work since I jumped. Had to quit my job.  I doordash a few times a week when I can handle it.

[[Re...]]

I no longer have twitching muscles or a burning brain, food sensitive is Alomost gone, no more burning skin or tight throat. and my blood pressure is way more stable. The first 9 months or so I couldn't hear a TV. It would freak me out. That's fading but I still have so many other symptoms. I haven't been able to work since I jumped. Had to quit my job.  I doordash a few times a week when I can handle it.

 

I understand the loss of work. In the same boat over here. I am not saying let's commiserate, just want you to know that you are not alone.

 

The fact that you can Doordash a few times a week is incredible. Really. I hope you can see how productive that is and positive.

 

You have come so far. Sometimes people on the outside see things we cannot see because we are in this process. But honestly, it seems symptoms have passed and that is such good news.

 

What symptoms are left if you don't mind my asking?

 

[[st...]]

Rebecca, thank you and sorry you can't workeither. My symptoms I still have change day to day. Someday I feel like i lm a raw nerve, like I have no skin, I'm still sensitive to stress. I'll feel like I'm going to have a stroke. I have brain fog, dp/dr, depression, apathy, insomnia, ect ect ect.

[[Re...]]

Steph, I literally said this exactly yesterday -- that I feel like I have no skin. You took the words right out of my mouth. The fact that the symptoms are changing seems to be a good sign to me, to be honest. And, please know, I am not saying that to disregard your pain in any way. I have heard many people who have healed go through a phase like this. I am very far behind you in this process but I have read a ton of success stories and many have this in common.

[[wi...]]

17 months and I feel worse then ever. Lots of symptoms from the beginning are gone but I have new ones and I feel like my mental/head symptoms are worse. I can't drive again. I'm not sure I can take this much longer. I thought I'd be healed by now. This is so scary

 

I had a friend who had a major setback at 21 months. It completely blindsided him and he also couldn't pin down any new behavior, food, supplement etc. that could have provoked it. As generic and cliche as it sounds, everyone's brain is different and heals at its own pace and in its own way. It is without a doubt one of the most frustrating and frankly horrifying aspects of benzo withdrawal and PAW, this idea that the recovery is not a straight line going steadily upward. It can dip without warning and it can dip further along than anyone expected. But knowing this itself is valuable and powerful. Others, like my friend, have had setbacks even later. He is now 4 years out and doing fantastic by the way. Keep getting through, one day at a time. The healing may not be evident but it's happening.

[[st...]]

Thank you guys for all of the kind words and encouragement

[[ja...]]

Steph I am a little ahead of you.  18+ months.

A little over a month ago I posted that I had pretty much given up hoping to heal.  From 10 months to 17 months I don't remember any real windows and my sleep gains were going backwards....

Then some really good days happened.  No more dizziness and nausea, and all of a sudden, better sleep.  Also I'm out from behind the plexiglass sheets.  I'm starting to connect with my heart, my emotions...... 

 

I'm back in the storm this week it seems, but I'm still sleeping much better.  And feeling connected.

I'm praying that your rough ride is about gear down, and that you see some windows and get some hope back.

The question for me now, when I feel overwhelmed and frustrated with unbearable symptoms is what can I do in this moment to love myself, act kindly to myself?   

Maybe a good cry....(I can do that now)... maybe call or text a friend.  Make myself some calming tea.  Have a bath.  Whatever I would do to comfort a friend in that condition.... 

Anyways.... I'll have to remember to take my own advice....

Big hugs...... 

 

 

 

[[jo...]]

I’m so sorry! I am in month 17 and it feels worse than acute!

I have had burning brain and body this whole time!

Feels like hot lava on my body. NO WINDOWS at all.

 

I’m now having increased chemical anxiety and fear!

Also deep burning muscle pain in my legs; feels like a cheese grater being rubbed against my tissues.

 

I’ve been on my knees asking for mercy and healing.

This is absolutely brutal! 

 

I’ve had friends walk away and I’m very much alone in this.

Friends just think it’s anxiety; they have no clue.

 

If the burning woukd just leave, i feel the anxiety wouid drop off.

I no longer work; my company severanced several of us in December; so I’m grateful for the time off and still getting a paycheck. But I no longer have my job to distract snd now I’m too anxious to even look for another job.

 

I feel broken in spirit because of this horrible experience and not yet healed.

I pray we turn a corner soon. 🙏❤️

[[jo...]]

I no longer have twitching muscles or a burning brain, food sensitive is Alomost gone, no more burning skin or tight throat. and my blood pressure is way more stable. The first 9 months or so I couldn't hear a TV. It would freak me out. That's fading but I still have so many other symptoms. I haven't been able to work since I jumped. Had to quit my job.  I doordash a few times a week when I can handle it.

 

I’m 17 months off and still have the burning brain and skin; along with burning legs and deep muscle pain. So glad your burning is gone. I sure hope mine leaves too. The burning and chemical anxiety is the worst! What month are you in?

I hope you feel better soon!

[[st...]]

I don't know why but I just saw your messages in this thread. How are you all doing now? Any improvements? I'm trying my best to distract with little exercise,  puzzle, music. I haven't been able to doordash in 2 weeks. I felt like I was healed a few weeks ago now back onto hell. Can't wait for this wave to pass