Occasional benzo use or black & white ?

[[Be...]]

I have been off Benzos for 5 months.      My sleep is still problematic and I still have sleepless nights and anxiety/panic at night which keeps me awake.I am in therapy for complex trauma and I have excellent sleep hygiene.      For example, I was in a family wedding last weekend and did not sleep the entire night before.      This ruined the celebration for me.    I never want that to happen again.    I am prone to anxiety/panic at night if I have a big day.      Trazedone and seroquel do not help me with a 4am panic attack when I fear I will not be able to do my work or enjoy a celebration. 

 

Is an occasional .25Mg meltable Klonopin ok to take?    Or do you recommend black/white approach of no more Benzos ever?

[[Sh...]]

Sorry to hear about the wedding.  My advice is to take as little as you humanly can.  When I took small doses, it slowed down my progress and made the symptoms harder. 

[[gr...]]

Once I am off this poison I would never ever take another Benzo!! I think it would be suicide to do so!!  I never want to ever go through this again.  To me it is black and white. There are other things you can take for sleep such as over the counter Doxylamine succinate. In my opinion it works so much better than Benzos an not as deadly and dangerous.

[[Re...]]

Have you tried melatonin or sleep hygiene? Benzos have the risk to back fire big time. You are already off five months.....you did the hardest part.....things will continue to improve over time.

[[Be...]]

I appreciate everyone’s thoughts, feedback and, so far, unanimous consensus which I did not expect.    I went off two drugs - Klonopin and Depakote - in December.    I am doing well off the drugs with therapy, mindfulness practice and sleep hygiene.    I have had panic attacks, anxiety and insomnia since early childhood.    Also have had some depression and hypomania.    Sleep is very important for my mental health and well being.    Even though I am off Klonopin for 5 months I still have a strong attachment to it for 4am panic after a sleepless night.    I took it every night and up to 2MG to sleep for 26 years!  It makes sense to me that to take it for very occasional use, eg if I am still up at 4am for a very important family milestone event.  I Look forward to reading more on this thread.  I did not ever view Klonopin as poison however as I turn 60 soon I hated the “addiction” and possible harm to long-term memory and very much wanted the personal growth that comes with getting off of psychiatric meds and developing better emotional regulation using natural coping mechanisms.    This includes getting rid of toxic relationships, practicing mindfulness, sleep hygiene, daily exercise, journaling and making art.    I live a pretty clean life - maybe 1 or 2 glasses of wine per week, occasional Advil and no CBD.    I do take a small dose of trazedone a few nights a week if/when my sleep is off because of a triggering situation.     

[[Pi...]]

Try Benadryl and CBD oil together.

[[Ha...]]

Hi BeBold,

In answer to your query about benzo use, black or white, I am a very very dark grey!

I’ve been off for 14 months and symptoms are reducing but anxiety and terror still persist. Over the last 2-3 years I have missed so many parties, holidays, family events, church events etc etc…….as we all do when we’re in this brutal journey.

I’ve made a little pact with myself that I will be benzo free for 2 years, that’s next February and I will be 69.

From then on I will allow myself a very occasional dose for things that are ‘once in a lifetime, such as weddings if it meant I would miss them otherwise.

I hope I never do but I don’t want to spend my ‘golden ‘ years missing out on the big stuff.

If I was younger, my decision would be different. I would allow myself to recover. But I was on them for 40 years so I must accept that I may not recover fully before I die!!

It’s an evil drug but sadly it was my friend for 30 of those 40 year.

Hardy x

[[Jd...]]

Black and white for me.  Come hell or high water never again.  I would exhaust every known substance on the planet before I tried that.  Have you tried Amanita muscaria have you tried Kratom how about kava kava blue lotus etc etc etc. there are hundreds of things I bet you have not tried before contemplating benzos.

 

[[Be...]]

I am actually an artist and I do like dark grey! 

 

Thank you for your insights.    I am 59 and while I am not sure what the harm is of occasional use.    I never want to go back to what I felt was and still May be considered by some as an addiction.    My concern is that one pill for a milestone event leads to another and I could be back where I started.   

 

I am going to keep reading what everyone says, keep discussing with my psychopharmacologist who would prefer I take seroquel and not Klonopin.     

 

Thank you thank you thank you everyone.    The feedback is so appreciated.   

[[or...]]

About this:

 

I am not sure what the harm is of occasional use

 

I am not sure I would be so strong-minded as to keep it to "occasional use". Would you? Could you? How would you define occasional? Giving yourself permission to do this seems the slippery slope back to regular use. As I said, maybe you're more strong minded than me . . . I had to throw away my leftover benzos when I was done.

 

Just my two cents' worth.

 

i hear you about panic attacks and that nasty 4 a.m. awakening, and I get it that you've suffered from this for 26 years . . . but there are plenty of things you can try. I had a very elaborate "back to sleep" routine set up for myself when I, too, woke at about 2 and couldn't go back to sleep. PM me if you want to know about it . . . I don't need to bore ppl here. But it worked.

 

Wishing you the best . . . but please don't rationalize the risk of taking something "occasionally".

 

 

Katz

 

 

 

 

[[Be...]]

I used NAD+ to jump off my remaining diazepam. It is black and white to me, never, ever, using a benzo or z-drug again.

 

One person on here who used NAD+ to jump from diazepam, had a medical procedure done 2 years later, in the foreign country he lives and works in. He stressed no benzos for sedation. They gave him a benzo. He chalked it up to language barriers. He was back on BB because he was back in acute w/d, and he didn't see how he could return to the US for NAD+ treatment. He was wondering how long this single dose would set him back. Fortunately for him, it wasn't too long. But he planned on being extra careful in the future,

 

Another member got finished tapering, in post-acute w/d, and had a colonoscopy where they gave midazolam. Really bad acute, ended up reinstating low dose of diazepam, and tapering very slowly off that.

 

There are more stories on here of members being floxed by a single dose of a benzo. Do you really want to take that risk?

 

Don't bother with Seroquel, or any AP. Just as bad as benzos, hard to get off of. There's threads dedicated to Seroquel and other AP's, and individuals posting their struggles getting off that stuff. There's a reason why both my then-new PsychNP and and my former state-provided telehealth Peer both told me to stop using the Zyprexa (olanzepine) 2.5 mg I was given, when the previous psych provider tried to rapidly take me off clonazepam. I'd only been using it about a month, and they both explained why it was bad to be using it.

 

Talk to your provider about using Hydroxyzine (Vistaril or Atarax) for those night before big events that you are thinking of taking Klonopin. You can take it 2 to 3 nights a week, alternate with Trazadone if you like. 50 mg is a typical anxiolytic dose, adjust up or down as needed. Hydroxyzine is an antihistamine that has sedative and anxiolytic properties, some take it for panic attacks. At least it's not habit forming.

[[Ma...]]

I’m in month 8 of Clonazepam w/d. My benzo wise doc gave me a prescription for Ativan for ‘emergencies’, shall we say. Since it’s 1/2 life is so much smaller it’s a better choice.

I haven’t taken 1 yet but there are some things I have to do this month that my chemical anxiety in w/d simply won’t allow, so….

[[gu...]]

I don't know how to say this strongly enough:  OCCASIONAL KLONOPIN USE IS DANGEROUS AS HELL.  Using it once in a awhile for insomnia led me to a protracted and terrible withdrawal, which is still going on 6 years later.  Using Klonopin once in awhile puts your body through a withdrawl process over and over again.  DON"T DO IT!

[[Ha...]]

I must emphasise that when I’ve stated I would take some Lorazepam for once in a lifetime events, I’m meaning……once every 6 months or once a year and only because of my age.

If I was younger I wouldn’t.

I agree that it really is the very best thing never to touch them again.

I have tried many alternatives but they just don’t work for me.

I’m glad the response is so absolute, that’s how it should be, I’m just saying how it is for me.

Hardy x

[[Ma...]]

Hardy-only you know your body. Ashton? Fine to take 1 for surgery. My wise educated doctor, the same.

 

Like you, I am errrr…older 🤦‍♀️ (but wiser as a result) and if I was in my 20’s or if this wasn’t my 2nd time going through this, I would certainly have a different perspective.

 

I have to do what works for ME-as do you. Miss a wedding or take a rescue dose-or a pill as intended for use? Me: go to the dentist or put it off until…when, exactly?

 

Life is random, messy and there are no guarantees and that includes taking an occasional benzo. For some, whose metabolism, history, pharmacology-ad infinum-it might be a bad idea. everyone is different and there is absolutely NO concrete answer.

 

Do you!! Always!! You have my vote of confidence!!!!

[[Re...]]

How are you doing now? What did you decide?

 

 

[[Be...]]

Good morning,

 

I decided that it is black & white.    I have not taken any Benzos.    Using Seroquel or Trazedone for sleep as needed.    I will hit my 6-month anniversary of Benzos this week.  I started a new job and have been sleeping well for the most part.      Thank you for checking in. 

[[Ha...]]

Great stuff BeBold. Fantastic progress, congratulations on your new job.

I have also been doing well.

No rescue doses at all so far.

Long May it last for both of us.

Hardy x

 

[[Fo...]]

Chewable melatonin works