Just realized I have dependence on Klonopin

[[De...]]

I have Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. From 2012-2014, I took Ambien, which was prescribed by a sleep doctor. In 2014, I switched to .5 mg Klonopin taken at bedtime - prescribed for insomnia.

 

After a while, I went up to 1 mg Klonopin nightly.

 

I’ve been on 1 mg K every night since around 2015.

 

I was blissfully ignorant that people can develop physical and psychological dependence on benzos. I always told myself that I was on a safe, low dose.

 

I only realized recently how dangerous benzos are, and I got really scared. I did not look up information online to read about getting off benzos. I naively decided to quickly taper from 1 mg to .5 mg (just a few days), and then to .25 mg.

 

I’ve been on .25 mg for 3-4 weeks. (I didn’t track it because I had NO IDEA of the repercussions of reducing my Klonopin dose.)

 

I took the Klonopin for chronic insomnia; I also have depression and anxiety.

 

My psychiatric nurse practitioner recently prescribed Ambien because I was having trouble sleeping.

 

My depression and anxiety have been getting worse and worse for the past 2-3 years…it has become severe.

 

So now I’m in a really bad situation—currently experiencing withdrawal from an extremely fast taper (I didn’t know any better at the time), currently also taking 5 mg Ambien for sleep (my sleep has been terrible), and I take 30 mg Lexapro for depression.

 

Just started an outpatient mental health hospital program for severe depression.

Today, the doctor recommended that I go back up to .5 mg Klonopin so that I can stabilize.

 

This is all so scary. I never in a million years thought I would end up physically and psychologically dependent on Klonopin.

 

I want to eventually taper down - I hope with the support of people on this forum.

 

I have spent COUNTLESS hours online researching this over the last week. I have learned some of the lingo. I have learned that one should not - if at all possible - do a super quick taper or quit cold turkey.

 

I am really freaking out. So many stories of misery of trying to get off of benzos.

[[Pa...]]

Hello Dee-Sean, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

 

I know its disheartening and scary to come to this realization but this is manageable, we can help you figure this out because the more we understand the less we fear and fear is one of our worst symptoms.

 

How intense are your current symptoms, if they're so bad you can't take care of your basic needs like showering and fixing something to eat  then I agree with your doctor, its probably a good idea to go back up in dose, get stable, figure out a plan then work it from there. 

 

I have experience with Ambien and have to tell you, it caused me such severe dark depression, I was scared for my safety.  You can read it's one of the side effects of the drug so it may be contributing to your depression.

 

I'll provide some links to help you navigate the forum but please keep talking to us, we can help.

 

Pamster

 

Colorado Consortium Benzodiazepine Deprescribing Guidance

 

Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper)

 

Withdrawal  Support (during your taper)

 

Ashton  Manual symptom list

[[De...]]

Thank you, Pamster. I was experiencing debilitating depression before I tried the quick K taper.

 

I don’t know what to do. Once I started tapering the K (much too fast!), that’s when the psychiatric nurse practitioner prescribed Ambien.

 

Trading one evil for another.

 

I have a diagnosed sleep disorder, so I might have to take a prescription med to help me sleep.

 

I took Ambien from 2012-2014 and thought it was a scary, terrible medication. But when you are sleep-deprived, you feel desperate.

 

Everything is running together right now—severe depression, recent major increase in anxiety, OCD, insomnia/sleep disorder.

 

I’ve never felt this bad in my life—physically and mentally.

 

My sister died from COVID in 2020. My mom has moderate dementia. Everything feels like it’s coming apart at the seams.

 

I want to get off of Klonopin (I actually take Clonazapam). I’m currently suffering greatly.

[[Pa...]]

One of the hallmarks of benzodiazepine withdrawal is catastrophic thinking, everything is horrible, there is no hope.  I understand you've faced some traumatic events and I'm so sorry you lost your sister to Covid but the way you're feeling, the thoughts you're having are because of the drug and when you recover from your use, you'll see things much differently.

 

I see in your signature you're attempting to taper from Ambien, I don't advise this until you stabilize from your rapid taper of Clonazepam.

[[or...]]

Thank you, Pamster. I was experiencing debilitating depression before I tried the quick K taper.

 

I don’t know what to do. Once I started tapering the K (much too fast!), that’s when the psychiatric nurse practitioner prescribed Ambien.

 

Trading one evil for another.

 

I have a diagnosed sleep disorder, so I might have to take a prescription med to help me sleep.

 

I took Ambien from 2012-2014 and thought it was a scary, terrible medication. But when you are sleep-deprived, you feel desperate.

 

Everything is running together right now—severe depression, recent major increase in anxiety, OCD, insomnia/sleep disorder.

 

I’ve never felt this bad in my life—physically and mentally.

 

My sister died from COVID in 2020. My mom has moderate dementia. Everything feels like it’s coming apart at the seams.

 

I want to get off of Klonopin (I actually take Clonazapam). I’m currently suffering greatly.

 

Hello Dee-Sean,  I've just been here a couple of weeks, but I am just starting my weaning off K (mine was also clonazepam) and I took it for 35 years.  There is so much here on the site to read that has helped me and I'll put a couple links in at the bottom.  I would never have known how horrific cold-turkey off K can be until I experienced it in and around 2010.  But the good news is I understand now just from reading, and sometimes reading again as I do have (I'll call it) a lot of brain-fog.  I won't list my symptoms because I know you are experiencing the same things, you know what it's like.

 

The first link was an important read for me because I didn't understand what one, little pill, once a day could do to me over that period of time.  I'm 70 by the way, and thanks to what I've read here, I have hope of healing and evidence from others experiences   Just know you can write me anytime here.  I may not have the answers, but I am pretty good at finding them.  My doctors never had them for me, just trying to get me to take another pill which luckily, I'm too sensitive to medicines even supplements, to be willing to chance it.  My main approach has been nutrition and exercise be the depression and anxiety some days just shut me down.

 

Here are a few of my fave links.  I have to read a lot over again as I just don't comprehend but every time I read, I learn more.  My best times are in a.m. right now so I try to reply or post things early in the day 

 

"What is Happening in Your Brain" by Parker

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=232042.msg2977793#msg2977793

 

Success Stories "board" with several personal stories of recovery:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=89.0

 

This is from the man that started the forum as well as personal stories by The Team at BB.  Just cursor up/down to read those

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/about-us/meet-the-team/#colin

[[De...]]

Thank you, Oregonlady.

[[ho...]]

I have Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. From 2012-2014, I took Ambien, which was prescribed by a sleep doctor. In 2014, I switched to .5 mg Klonopin taken at bedtime - prescribed for insomnia.

 

After a while, I went up to 1 mg Klonopin nightly.

 

I’ve been on 1 mg K every night since around 2015.

 

I was blissfully ignorant that people can develop physical and psychological dependence on benzos. I always told myself that I was on a safe, low dose.

 

I only realized recently how dangerous benzos are, and I got really scared. I did not look up information online to read about getting off benzos. I naively decided to quickly taper from 1 mg to .5 mg (just a few days), and then to .25 mg.

 

I’ve been on .25 mg for 3-4 weeks. (I didn’t track it because I had NO IDEA of the repercussions of reducing my Klonopin dose.)

 

I took the Klonopin for chronic insomnia; I also have depression and anxiety.

 

My psychiatric nurse practitioner recently prescribed Ambien because I was having trouble sleeping.

 

My depression and anxiety have been getting worse and worse for the past 2-3 years…it has become severe.

 

So now I’m in a really bad situation—currently experiencing withdrawal from an extremely fast taper (I didn’t know any better at the time), currently also taking 5 mg Ambien for sleep (my sleep has been terrible), and I take 30 mg Lexapro for depression.

 

Just started an outpatient mental health hospital program for severe depression.

Today, the doctor recommended that I go back up to .5 mg Klonopin so that I can stabilize.

 

This is all so scary. I never in a million years thought I would end up physically and psychologically dependent on Klonopin.

 

I want to eventually taper down - I hope with the support of people on this forum.

 

I have spent COUNTLESS hours online researching this over the last week. I have learned some of the lingo. I have learned that one should not - if at all possible - do a super quick taper or quit cold turkey.

 

I am really freaking out. So many stories of misery of trying to get off of benzos.

 

DeeSean - Welcome to BB’s.  Pamster gave you excellent advice and links.  I just want to add a couple of thoughts.

 

In your signature you mention back in March you were taking between 1-1.5K, so I would imagine that was also prior months as well.  This leads to your extremely rapid taper, and where you are now only at .25mg and feeling horrible…so so sorry.  Updosing to .5mg “may” not be enough. Obviously I am not your doctor, and you will need to discuss any dosing with your doctor(s) but you may find it hard to stabilize at .5.  Just maybe you will be lucky and stabilize there. 

 

It is really important that you do stabilize before you start your taper, so that you can minimize the w/d sx as much as possible.  These can tend to get worse and worse, especially if one goes too fast, or is never stable to begin with.  *Depression can be one of the w/d sx, and if you were already struggling with this, and since you did such a fast taper, this could be contributing to your depression.  Just keep that in mind.  Stabilizing should help with this.

 

I hope you feel better soon, and you will find lots of support here on BB’s

 

Marie

[[or...]]

This was a good reminder to me as well and thank you howmanytimes.  I was told about this as well and agree, at this point.  I am new at learning to withdraw with the least complications and symptoms as well. 

 

I was on 1 mg (full-dose prescribed) before the 25th of March and then dropped down to .75 mg.  Then I found BB and started reading, and asking questions about Taper methods, etc. and had mentioned maybe I should go up to my original dose first then start at that.  I received a reply saying the same info pretty much (as howmanytime's), and was told of the negative possibilities and that first going maybe 2 more weeks on the .75 to see if I stabilize first. 

 

I'm doing a bit better each day as I work towards the 25th of this month when I plan to start my taper but I have to say, stabilizing at this dose is something I am praying and hoping for.  I don't want to have to do this over again I have no idea what that would look like, dosage-wise for me.  My doctor gets a lot of questions from me, but he seems limited in his knowledge of withdrawing from a benzo so I'm glad to have BB where I can find support between here and other places online.

 

 

[[ho...]]

This was a good reminder to me as well and thank you howmanytimes.  I was told about this as well and agree, at this point.  I am new at learning to withdraw with the least complications and symptoms as well. 

 

I was on 1 mg (full-dose prescribed) before the 25th of March and then dropped down to .75 mg.  Then I found BB and started reading, and asking questions about Taper methods, etc. and had mentioned maybe I should go up to my original dose first then start at that.  I received a reply saying the same info pretty much (as howmanytime's), and was told of the negative possibilities and that first going maybe 2 more weeks on the .75 to see if I stabilize first. 

 

I'm doing a bit better each day as I work towards the 25th of this month when I plan to start my taper but I have to say, stabilizing at this dose is something I am praying and hoping for.  I don't want to have to do this over again I have no idea what that would look like, dosage-wise for me.  My doctor gets a lot of questions from me, but he seems limited in his knowledge of withdrawing from a benzo so I'm glad to have BB where I can find support between here and other places online.

 

Hi- It is so great that you are already set with a taper plan. Are you going to do a DLMT?

 

“If” you aren’t quite stabilized at that date, you could always go out another week, or two.  It is amazing what a week or two can do.  Just a though, so you don’t have to make a drastic decision about updosing.  What goes up must come down. 

 

I hope you start feeling better soon.

 

Marie

[[or...]]

Hello Marie, thank you for that encouragement, it's funny since today I was actually remembering what I've read around the forum about updosing, and I also agree with your info on going longer on the .75 if I'm not feeling stable.

 

If DLMT is Daily Liquid Milileter Taper yes, that's my plan just using water I am so comfortable with that decision now, and feel no fear.  I know that can change pretty quick with me, but your backup plan ideas can be used, no worries hey

 

Thank you again Marie, Denise 

[[ho...]]

Hello Marie, thank you for that encouragement, it's funny since today I was actually remembering what I've read around the forum about updosing, and I also agree with your info on going longer on the .75 if I'm not feeling stable.

 

If DLMT is Daily Liquid Milileter Taper yes, that's my plan just using water I am so comfortable with that decision now, and feel no fear.  I know that can change pretty quick with me, but your backup plan ideas can be used, no worries hey

 

Thank you again Marie, Denise 

 

Denise - You’re welcome   

 

Great to hear you have your plan in place.  Yes, holding is good and getting stabilized even if it is just a little while longer 

 

Marie