Three Years of Freedom: And Where I Am Now...

[[Pe...]]

Well, it's certainly been some time since I posted last - over a year, to be honest. Suffice to say, some may remember me, some may wonder who am I, but all should hear what I have to say.

 

As of June 8th, 2011, I am now three years off of my medications. I remember, quite vividly, the day I finally finished the last of my somewhat rapid taper. It was a very liberating feeling and I was very proud of myself for making such a huge change, especially in light of the sentence that I believed I was under from my prescribing psychiatrist. Of course, I was on anxiety meds, medications for depression and that dreaded Klonopin for over 21 years! I was thrilled to finally be free!

 

For the rest of June through most of July of 2008, I actually felt really, really good. I was surprised, in fact, because I was under the impression that being off these medications would be really tough. I had some terrible times during the taper, but that first month off was pure Heaven! It was unfortunately, then, that things took such a horrible turn in min-July. Starting with an incredible inability to sleep, I started slipping further and further into what I can only describe as Hell on Earth. I often feel that folks believe I am exaggerating in this sense, but I assure you, this is the most apt description. I couldn't believe what was happening to me and I felt as if the world I knew simply ceased to exist. My symptoms were many and varied, but they all had one thing in common - they were something a human being should never, ever be forced to endure.

 

And this went on for what felt like eternity...

 

However, after the first year, things improved greatly. While I was certainly not out of the park, I had managed to keep a fair amount of suffering under control. I attribute a lot of this success to exercise and diet, but also will - I didn't want to give up and I wanted to get over this. I'm not going to sugar coat it - it was still very, very hard, but it was doable.

 

The second year was even more of an improvement, but stress and lack of sleep still made things somewhat tedious.

 

Now, at the three year mark, I can honestly say that I feel as normal as I think I'll ever feel. I have a lot of trouble sleeping, but feel good most of the time. What I'm left with, at this point, is dizziness on occasion, sleepless nights and muscle pain, which I attribute to lack of sleep. On the whole, however, I feel good, very good. Great even! I'd love to get a full night of sleep, but hey, I'll take what I can get!

 

My final thought is this -

 

This process is slow. Really slow. However, it DOES improve and you DO heal! In fact, I'm a better person NOW than I ever was, even on the medications. The time frame is not relevant and you have to take each day as it comes, but the truth is that healing does happen. Exercise and diet are a help, but healing will happen for each and ever person out there.

 

Hang in there and never forget that each day is one day closer to being healed.

 

- Pete

[[ar...]]

Congratulations Petey!  I have such horrible balance problems right now I don't think I'll ever heal but reading another success story gives me hope.  Thanks for sharing.

[[Pe...]]

Believe me - it will improve. I was always worried about the balance issue and the dizziness, but it does work itself out!!!

[[Ka...]]

What a wonderful story Petey!

 

We haven't "met", but your inspiring message really makes me feel more hopeful.  I am tapering from over 20 years of lorazepam, and the last couple of days have been  "windows", and needless to say, those windows have been  great.  Dizziness and insomnia are one of my worst symptoms, but the dizziness is gradually fading.

 

Thanks again, and I hope you continue to experience even more healing!

 

Kat

[[St...]]

Hi Petey

 

Yes this is a dreadfully slow process but I'm so glad you're healed!!

 

Thanks so much for coming back and sharing your story, you're an inspiration to so many people! 

[[st...]]

Hi Petey,

 

It is so good seeing you post in the 'Success Stories'.  I can't believe it has been a year since your last post.  Question.......what month did you feel that you became a success?  Is it just recently?  Your story is inspiring to many of us.  Thanks so much.

 

Love,

 

Patty  xoxo

[[Pe...]]

This is what we live for on BBs- People coming back to reassure us!  Thankyou for not forgetting the people who are still in the thick of it.  You made my day!

[[va...]]

Thankyou so much for coming back to give an update. That is truly kind of you. For us longer healing timeline people it's good to see someone give some feedback after 3 years. I'm almost at 20 months and it hasn't been a cakewalk on the physical head side of things so your words are encouraging. I do keep reading from many that more changes occur that make things easier between two to three years. Thanks again Pete. What a feat after 21 years of meds and 10 on klonopin. Unreal and congradulations!! I hope life is good to you, you sure deserve it!!! xoxo

[[Pa...]]

Hi Petey,

 

I remember you and am very glad to hear you're feeling so much better, thank you for coming back to post your success story. 

 

Pam

[[Be...]]

Hey, Pete!    Long time no talk to.    I'm so glad to read how well you are doing now.  I know it's been a long journey but you kept moving forward no matter what.  Enjoy your new life. 

[[Wh...]]

Thank you so much for coming back to share about your progress ... I'm having a hard time at 25 months off so definitely needed to hear from someone who suffered long and hard and was also poly-drugged for many years like myself.  This was great reading this today ... you did a terrific job getting your point across that WE DO HEAL and I believe you.

 

Bless you and thank you ... I hope that you continue to see things resolve in the next year and that you get yourself some good rest. 

[[ca...]]

Congrats Petey, so happy for you! Thank you for sharing your story as it gives many of us hope. Enjoy your beautiful healed life!

[Guest [Si...]]

Congrats!

[[Ru...]]

petey congrats!! i am right now at 21 months ,this kind of text it is very important for us, thanks for sharing your history of succes.

 

 

you give us hope

 

Regards from México .

[[te...]]

Hi! Another inspiring story today I would love to know about your diet. What foods helped you with recovery? I'm not there yet but it's never too late to start planning Congrats! T2

[[Fr...]]

Thank you for your story. Those of us who are in withdrawal like to hear that somebody made it through. I hope that your sleeping improves.

 

Frannie

[[Up...]]

Thanks for your story, it gives me hope. 11 years on Klonopin and trying to get off. It hurts but hearing your story makes it seem possible.

[[mi...]]

Well, it's certainly been some time since I posted last - over a year, to be honest. Suffice to say, some may remember me, some may wonder who am I, but all should hear what I have to say.

 

As of June 8th, 2011, I am now three years off of my medications. I remember, quite vividly, the day I finally finished the last of my somewhat rapid taper. It was a very liberating feeling and I was very proud of myself for making such a huge change, especially in light of the sentence that I believed I was under from my prescribing psychiatrist. Of course, I was on anxiety meds, medications for depression and that dreaded Klonopin for over 21 years! I was thrilled to finally be free!

 

For the rest of June through most of July of 2008, I actually felt really, really good. I was surprised, in fact, because I was under the impression that being off these medications would be really tough. I had some terrible times during the taper, but that first month off was pure Heaven! It was unfortunately, then, that things took such a horrible turn in min-July. Starting with an incredible inability to sleep, I started slipping further and further into what I can only describe as Hell on Earth. I often feel that folks believe I am exaggerating in this sense, but I assure you, this is the most apt description. I couldn't believe what was happening to me and I felt as if the world I knew simply ceased to exist. My symptoms were many and varied, but they all had one thing in common - they were something a human being should never, ever be forced to endure.

 

And this went on for what felt like eternity...

 

However, after the first year, things improved greatly. While I was certainly not out of the park, I had managed to keep a fair amount of suffering under control. I attribute a lot of this success to exercise and diet, but also will - I didn't want to give up and I wanted to get over this. I'm not going to sugar coat it - it was still very, very hard, but it was doable.

 

The second year was even more of an improvement, but stress and lack of sleep still made things somewhat tedious.

 

Now, at the three year mark, I can honestly say that I feel as normal as I think I'll ever feel. I have a lot of trouble sleeping, but feel good most of the time. What I'm left with, at this point, is dizziness on occasion, sleepless nights and muscle pain, which I attribute to lack of sleep. On the whole, however, I feel good, very good. Great even! I'd love to get a full night of sleep, but hey, I'll take what I can get!

 

My final thought is this -

 

This process is slow. Really slow. However, it DOES improve and you DO heal! In fact, I'm a better person NOW than I ever was, even on the medications. The time frame is not relevant and you have to take each day as it comes, but the truth is that healing does happen. Exercise and diet are a help, but healing will happen for each and ever person out there.

 

Hang in there and never forget that each day is one day closer to being healed.

 

- Pete

 

Wow pete, I am so happy for you... My name is Mishi..You made it all the way thru with alot of hard work... It takes great strength and courage to do what you did... I have tears in my eyes right now... Sometimes i believe it will never happen to me.

I am still tapering right now and it hurts all the time pete.... You are an inspiration to me... You have your life back and I am thrilled for you... I hope every day if filled with joy and you sleep like a baby..

Thank yu so much.

Luv,

Mishi

[[Si...]]

Pete,

 

Thanks so much for coming back and posting. It does help those of us who are still trying to get out of the woods to hear that someone else has made it; it's like coming upon a sign in this jungle that says "healing, just ahead"!  Thanks man!

 

Blessings,

 

Sir William

[[mi...]]

Thank you so much for coming back to share about your progress ... I'm having a hard time at 25 months off so definitely needed to hear from someone who suffered long and hard and was also poly-drugged for many years like myself.  This was great reading this today ... you did a terrific job getting your point across that WE DO HEAL and I believe you.

 

Bless you and thank you ... I hope that you continue to see things resolve in the next year and that you get yourself some good rest. 

 

Petey lots of luck to you and your new life

Hope it gets better all the time

Luv

Mishi

[[sh...]]

Thank you so much for your story, Petey. Your inspiration and dedication are quite tremendous . I applaud you for your strength 

[[...]]

Well, it's certainly been some time since I posted last - over a year, to be honest. Suffice to say, some may remember me, some may wonder who am I, but all should hear what I have to say.

 

As of June 8th, 2011, I am now three years off of my medications. I remember, quite vividly, the day I finally finished the last of my somewhat rapid taper. It was a very liberating feeling and I was very proud of myself for making such a huge change, especially in light of the sentence that I believed I was under from my prescribing psychiatrist. Of course, I was on anxiety meds, medications for depression and that dreaded Klonopin for over 21 years! I was thrilled to finally be free!

 

For the rest of June through most of July of 2008, I actually felt really, really good. I was surprised, in fact, because I was under the impression that being off these medications would be really tough. I had some terrible times during the taper, but that first month off was pure Heaven! It was unfortunately, then, that things took such a horrible turn in min-July. Starting with an incredible inability to sleep, I started slipping further and further into what I can only describe as Hell on Earth. I often feel that folks believe I am exaggerating in this sense, but I assure you, this is the most apt description. I couldn't believe what was happening to me and I felt as if the world I knew simply ceased to exist. My symptoms were many and varied, but they all had one thing in common - they were something a human being should never, ever be forced to endure.

 

And this went on for what felt like eternity...

 

However, after the first year, things improved greatly. While I was certainly not out of the park, I had managed to keep a fair amount of suffering under control. I attribute a lot of this success to exercise and diet, but also will - I didn't want to give up and I wanted to get over this. I'm not going to sugar coat it - it was still very, very hard, but it was doable.

 

The second year was even more of an improvement, but stress and lack of sleep still made things somewhat tedious.

 

Now, at the three year mark, I can honestly say that I feel as normal as I think I'll ever feel. I have a lot of trouble sleeping, but feel good most of the time. What I'm left with, at this point, is dizziness on occasion, sleepless nights and muscle pain, which I attribute to lack of sleep. On the whole, however, I feel good, very good. Great even! I'd love to get a full night of sleep, but hey, I'll take what I can get!

 

My final thought is this -

 

This process is slow. Really slow. However, it DOES improve and you DO heal! In fact, I'm a better person NOW than I ever was, even on the medications. The time frame is not relevant and you have to take each day as it comes, but the truth is that healing does happen. Exercise and diet are a help, but healing will happen for each and ever person out there.

 

Hang in there and never forget that each day is one day closer to being healed.

 

- Pete

 

Pete.

 

Thank you for posting this.  I would hope to see you come back here and give me some advice.  I've been trying to get off klonopin for over two years now.  I had a 32 week taper from Klonopin after 19 years of use, and was off for 28 weeks before I had to reinstate.  I went two months with almost no sleep at all.  I have read over twenty success stories on her so far, and you are the only one so far who has seemed to endure this suffering this long after being on meds for so many years.  I would like to hear some more advice from you.  Your post was very honest.  It seems you have not fully recovered, but in my opinion, you have won because I don't see how anyone could stay off the meds after that much on them long term.  I am a long termer and could really use some support and encouragement from someone like you.  I'm at the beginning of my second taper attempt and I'm horrified.

 

Kian

 

 

[[...]]

My favorite success story,

 

Thank you for posting this, and I hope all is well my friend.

[[te...]]

Wow, Pete. Wow! There IS hope!

[[al...]]

Thank you for coming back to share this with us. i really hope you begin to sleep soon.

take good care,

ali