Need hope in this setback at 46 months!

[[ho...]]

I was just wondering if I could get some help being in the setback and 46 months I just got to vacation with my family.

A little background on the setback… Back in January I started with some burning in the girl regions and was terrified that I was going to be in a setback  having to take a yeast infection medication. I got myself so incredibly worked up and terrified. After doing several tests with my doctor and all coming back negative he kept making me try different creams that were only making me worse including Cortizone cream which sent me over the edge. He finally sent me to a specialist where I was diagnosed with a hypertonic pelvic floor and didn’t need to do any of the things that he suggested. Then a few weeks later I had my follow up brain MRI I was so terrified of the results but that night I had a panic attack and my setback has been horrific ever since. It makes my symptoms before the setback look like cake. I have tons of new symptoms and feel like I’m going to die all of the time because everything is so strong.  Symptoms like horrible neck tension, horrific overstimulation, smell sensitivity like no other, horrible sound sensitivity, sensitivities to the max, overactive mouth nerves like crazy, overactive nerves in head that just feel so overstimulated, and I have this feeling of death ( probably because I feel like I am actually dying it’s so bad and I don’t want to die! I’m only 40!) follow me all around that I’m not gonna get to live and I’m gonna die and not be able to watch our 10 year old grow up and get my life back.  I want to watch him grow up and I want to be a little old lady looking back so proud of myself for making it through this and smiling at the life I had after. I am always terrified I’ll get some auto immune condition from all of this too which I won’t be able to treat as I can’t handle steroids and it will steal my longevity. Worst case scenario girl in this setback to the max and I can totally admit it. It’s all damn terrifying to the max.

I somehow pushed through and was able to pack for vacation and we just got here but I feel so horrible and so scared that something will happen to me and I just want to live and see the other side of this and make it out for our son and my family and(hand tendon issue I’m praying isn’t RA as I’m only 40 and terrified) see the light of day again and be able to breathe and I’m so terrified that it’s never gonna happen again and I just need some hope everyone.

I say this with some quiet tears  because I don’t want my husband or son to have their first morning of vacation ruined because I’m so sad and scared. I want my life back. To eat what I want again, to go to a restaurant with my family and not worry about the glutamate or anything in the food making me worse, to breathe again, to live again and not have these symptoms is what I live for as well as having pizza with my son, riding bikes and being on that plane to Disney one day and saying to his little face, “MOMMY IS BETTER!”. (We are lucky that we are three hours away from a beach resort town, But I want more.) I want my life back. I want to live again and breathe again and have life back to the fullest extent beyond my expectations of what Healing could be like.

Any hope that I will be ok and all hope isn’t lost would be wonderful that this setback will end and healing will continue for me at 46 months out.

Thank you

[[ho...]]

Anyone ? :'( :'(

[[tw...]]

Hopeful,

 

I'm so sorry you're having  a rough time. I'm nowhere near as far along as you, so I can't speak to that. But hold on, almost everyone gets answered eventually. It may just be that no one who feels they have the experience need to help has seen your post yet. 

[[de...]]

This setback will pass, hopeful. 

 

I'm 49 months and feel stuck in an intractable, constant, state of anxiety.  But I no longer think, feel, I'm going to die any longer.  Well, not imminently.  It's been really slow.

 

There has been an enormous amount of stress in my life which hasn't helped.  Lengthened my recovery time.  I've noticed the amount of anxiety you are under.

 

Unless I dump the stress I will never fully recover.  Think same for you.  Acceptance helps.

 

Been slow, but improving.