6 months out from Detox today...

[[Pe...]]

And not doing well. My family and I had such high hopes for this date, but it turns out different.

 

December 2021 I went to Detox and was taken off 30mg Tranxene (22.5mg Valium) in 10 days, after 2 years of benzo-use prescribed by doctors.

 

Although many physical symptoms have lessened, I have a lot of mental things remaining. I mainly suffer from high anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, insomnia and night-terrors.

 

I am afraid this is not going to get better. I was put on benzo's because I had a nervous breakdown with a lot of anxiety and I had difficulty raising the dose of my AD Luvox. Maybe its my old anxiety returning, but I was never as severe as this and the reasons for the breakdown have since long resolved.

 

Every day is a struggle for me, and my thoughts are getting darker. Mornings are torture and only in the evenings I get some relief.

 

This whole benzo-journey has got me on my knees. My family is suffering with me, my wife can't take much more and I cannot be a good father for my teenage daughter.

 

I'm sorry I do not have a better message for you at the 6 month-mark. I hope you are all doing well and wishing you good healing, Pecoro.

[[De...]]

percoro just sharing, at six months i was still lying on the bathroom floor in severe distress 24/ 7 in the afternoon when things went down i was already scared of the terror i would feel the next day at 10 months I had an improvement in this chemical terror but it continued to be terrible, and finally at 14 months this agony and distress went away, however i broke the whole house and i lost it every day in that period, I want to let you know that this will get better, these brief periods of relief will extend throughout the day given time it will get easier even if it is confusing small improvements are still improvements and baseline after baseline you will get better I believe the severe agony I felt was due to severe neuroinflammation and in my opinion addressing this while the readaptation takes place is important being of use for this based on what I know of dimethylsulfoxide and rapamycin I'm 18 months off, still dealing with symptoms and far from what I'd like, but I'm far from all the severe distress and agony, hang in there

[[Pa...]]

That 6 month mark was hard on me too, I set myself up for it by thinking it meant something when it doesn't, I was so discouraged.  Our arbitrary timelines have nothing to do with our recovery, it takes what it takes so even though this date has come and now gone, it doesn't mean its not going to happen for you.  The fact that you have fairly good evenings absolutely points to the fact that this isn't your original issue and the fact that it's worse tells me this isn't the new you, its the drug.

 

You're going to come out of this, please let your wife and daughter know you'll be whole again, your brain is working hard to get it right and it will.

[[Pe...]]

Hi Deniz and Pamster, thanx for reaching out with encouraging words! Means a lot to me!

 

The mornings are especially hard on me, with lots of anxiety and 'too much energy' inside me, I don't know where to turn or what to do. Afternoons are a bit better and mostly the evenings are the best for me. Sometimes then I can relax and watch a movie.

 

Sleep is 4-5 hours and fragmented. Usually awake at 04.30 and everything starts again.

[[be...]]

I feel like I could’ve written this post myself! We also have the same sober date I think, my last klonopin was 12/8/2021.  I was so excited for this 6 month milestone, had such high hopes,  but I’m in a terrible wave right now after my first brief window at the end of May. I keep telling myself this won’t be forever, one day I’ll wake up and feel like ME again.  Reading success stories on BB  has really helped me, so many people have felt how we feel right now… like it will never end. One thing that gives me hope is that a lot of people feel BETTER than they did before they stated taking benzos after they heal. I was a very normal and happy person before benzos so that thought is what keeps me going.. My worst symptoms right now are also the mental ones too… agonizing depression, dark, intrusive thoughts, literal fear of EVERYTHING. it seems like my physical symptoms have lessened but the mental ones are still going full blown. Praying for your full recovery! We CAN do this!!