The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ma...]]

One suggestion Trishy please have your husband put his own clothes in the washer and then you can run it.  This way you don't touch his clothes until they are clean.  My DIL who is a doctor follows a similar routine - she wears scrubs to work -comes in through the basement, shoes off, clothes in the washer and she heads right to the shower which is upstairs.  It has been working for her. 

 

Glad to see that everyone is staying safe. What a crazy time we are living in.

 

Tim puts his own clothes in too Trishy, he walks right by the washer on way to shower  .  I have the lid lifted for him. 

[[NJ...]]

Just checking in. Glad to hear everyone doing mostly okay. Val, thanks for checking in!

 

I had a very rough day yesterday. It was our wedding anniversary, and I just felt so sad reflecting on how well our life has gone except for our son's health issues. He had a stroke when he was first born which led to a lot of very difficult times his first few years of life, then more recently the past two years with all his health issues, which he will need to cope with for the rest of his life although I am hopeful that better treatments for his Crohn's will be developed. I know all families have their challenges, so I know I am just feeling sorry for myself and for him. Then my sister ended up in the hospital yesterday because of her Crohn's. Which totally set my off. I was up all night and finally fell asleep for a few hours at around 11:30 a.m. this morning.

 

I am wondering how things will play out with the CV and things reopening. They did reopen parks by me; no word yet on schools although I am assuming they will be closed for the rest of the year. We are really on the fence about what to do about my son in college ... he needs an apartment to live in but we don't know if we should commit to a lease or not for the fall as we don't know for sure if school will be open. They say they will be in person but all the schools said that as incoming freshmen had to commit by May 1. And my younger son is still on a drug that leads to unfavorable outcomes with CV ... we are weaning but I don't know if we should wean faster and not much guidance to be honest from his doctor, which is really irritating me. We have tried to wean unsuccessfully over and over during the past year so not sure if we should continue to go super slow or keep at current pace and hope the addition of other meds will cover him.

 

Hope everyone continues to stay safe and as sane as possible!

 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Just checking in. Glad to hear everyone doing mostly okay. Val, thanks for checking in!

 

I had a very rough day yesterday. It was our wedding anniversary, and I just felt so sad reflecting on how well our life has gone except for our son's health issues. He had a stroke when he was first born which led to a lot of very difficult times his first few years of life, then more recently the past two years with all his health issues, which he will need to cope with for the rest of his life although I am hopeful that better treatments for his Crohn's will be developed. I know all families have their challenges, so I know I am just feeling sorry for myself and for him. Then my sister ended up in the hospital yesterday because of her Crohn's. Which totally set my off. I was up all night and finally fell asleep for a few hours at around 11:30 a.m. this morning.

 

I am wondering how things will play out with the CV and things reopening. They did reopen parks by me; no word yet on schools although I am assuming they will be closed for the rest of the year. We are really on the fence about what to do about my son in college ... he needs an apartment to live in but we don't know if we should commit to a lease or not for the fall as we don't know for sure if school will be open. They say they will be in person but all the schools said that as incoming freshmen had to commit by May 1. And my younger son is still on a drug that leads to unfavorable outcomes with CV ... we are weaning but I don't know if we should wean faster and not much guidance to be honest from his doctor, which is really irritating me. We have tried to wean unsuccessfully over and over during the past year so not sure if we should continue to go super slow or keep at current pace and hope the addition of other meds will cover him.

 

Hope everyone continues to stay safe and as sane as possible!

 

I have been hearing a lot of college kids are going to skip this year because of all the variables with the virus.  If it comes back in the fall, or never goes away, the school year may end up like this one.

I am so sorry about your sister, I hope she is okay.  You have too much to worry about NJ, I honestly don't know how you do it.  I hope you family is okay and safe, please take care of you too.  Thanks for checking in.  Mary 💜💜

[[Tr...]]

Good morning LHSG'ers,

Hope everyone is doing ok. I know it's been pretty slow around here and just hoping that everyone is well.

 

Had my first telehealth appt with Rx Dr and all went well, it was a more relaxing visit unlike office visits. There's something about being in your own home when talking to the Dr that's less intimidating 

 

It's my 35th wedding anniversary today! 🎊🎉🥳 .. Long time with this guy who returned to work today after 6 weeks 😳

 

Hope everyone checks in today!

 

Peace people,

TT ❤️

[[Tr...]]

Hi,

 

Checking in. Having an awful day so far: made a 0,1 mg cut yesterday evening. Sharp, burning muscle pain all morning, followed by deep exhaustion this afternoon. I know there are those,  that say it's impossible to react to a cut this quickly,  but I always do. Just been  to bed for an hour and a half.

Now just sitting here, hoping it will all ease a bit. Holding didn't bring me what I had hoped for.

Trying to get on Seroxat for three weeks made things a lot worse.

But the only way to get out of this suffering is to get off benzos.

 

Hope you're doing better.

[[Ma...]]

Good morning LHSG'ers,

Hope everyone is doing ok. I know it's been pretty slow around here and just hoping that everyone is well.

 

Had my first telehealth appt with Rx Dr and all went well, it was a more relaxing visit unlike office visits. There's something about being in your own home when talking to the Dr that's less intimidating 

 

It's my 35th wedding anniversary today! 🎊🎉🥳 .. Long time with this guy who returned to work today after 6 weeks 😳

 

Hope everyone checks in today!

 

Peace people,

TT ❤️

 

Hey

Too Many, Happy Anniversary ❣️🎈❣️🎈❣️🎈❣️

Glad your televisit went well.  I am pretty much the same only now having pretty bad benzo belly. 

Lots of people drink peppermint tea, so I have had my first cup yesterday.  I think it helped, we'll see.

I was eating a lot of processed foods, and the extra anxiety, I think got me, but who knows with

benzo's.  You have a good day, have a pair of slippers for Rich to put on when he comes in the house.

Don't make him wait naked like I did    Love you girlfriend, MM.  💟💟💟💟💟💟

[[Ma...]]

Hi,

 

Checking in. Having an awful day so far: made a 0,1 mg cut yesterday evening. Sharp, burning muscle pain all morning, followed by deep exhaustion this afternoon. I know there are those,  that say it's impossible to react to a cut this quickly,  but I always do. Just been  to bed for an hour and a half.

Now just sitting here, hoping it will all ease a bit. Holding didn't bring me what I had hoped for.

Trying to get on Seroxat for three weeks made things a lot worse.

But the only way to get out of this suffering is to get off benzos.

 

Hope you're doing better.

 

I am so sorry for your pain Trouch.  I totally understand, heat is the main thing that has helped me.

I did go through a phase where I could exercise but that's a struggle right now.  I just ordered a book called Melt, about exercise and pain.  It arrives today, I hope.  Will let you know what I think about it.

Pain everyday is so exhausting , I wish I could tell you something that would definitely help, benzo's are just hard on many people's muscle.  I really hope the pain eases soon.  Mary 💜💜

[[Tr...]]

Thank you Mary,

 

I know you're in a lot of pain too.

My "exercise"  is a short walk, some 12 to 15 minutes,  but today I am in no shape to do that. Weakness in my legs, being so tired and having dizziness again,  would be a guarantee for a fall. Maybe tomorrow.

I' m doing an online course at the moment with my therapist about pain. The idea is to make it less prominent,  just accept it's there, and focus on the nice things in life. Well, that's the theory. Easier said than done.

I would love to hear from you about that book when you 've finished reading it.

Hope you have a pleasant day.

[[...]]

Hey guys, I hope everyone is getting through the horrible wd.

 

After holding for 4 months at 40mg daily i did a cut of 10mg to 30mg two weeks ago.

I hoped to cut again today to 20mg and hold my aim is to lower my dose to atleast 10-20mg daily whilst the lockdown is in place and hold for a while. But i don't think i can do another 10mg cut, over the weekend i came down with horrible symptoms of sleep issues, i get about 4hr if im lucky now and really tired but hyper excited through the day so i believe it could be the glutamate increase which is neuro toxic so im taking antioxidants to counteract that.

 

However today i woke up so nauseous that i nearly through up lying in my bed, i ran to the bathroom. Is vomiting a symptom of wd? I'm eating simple foods but really not hungry as everything is making me feel sick

[[Ma...]]

Hey MMXV, well looking at what you've written, I think wd is probably the issue.  And yes nausea is a wd symptom along with the sleep issues.  I know that Ashton and a lot of people on here have been able to do a cut that big , but it was a 25% cut and now it's been 2 weeks, right around when wd symptoms start showing up with Diazapam.  It's just a suggestion, but I really feel you should hold again, and let your symptoms stabilize.  Then maybe start with lower % cuts.  I know you had a plan and it's very disappointing when it doesn't quite work out.  Believe me, it's happened to me several times.  I hope you feel better quickly.  And I know , you know, if you feel like something besides wd is going on, call your Dr. 

Mary 💜💜

[[Ma...]]

Trishy, how did Rich's first day go? 

[[St...]]

Hey guys, I hope everyone is getting through the horrible wd.

 

After holding for 4 months at 40mg daily i did a cut of 10mg to 30mg two weeks ago.

I hoped to cut again today to 20mg and hold my aim is to lower my dose to atleast 10-20mg daily whilst the lockdown is in place and hold for a while. But i don't think i can do another 10mg cut, over the weekend i came down with horrible symptoms of sleep issues, i get about 4hr if im lucky now and really tired but hyper excited through the day so i believe it could be the glutamate increase which is neuro toxic so im taking antioxidants to counteract that.

 

However today i woke up so nauseous that i nearly through up lying in my bed, i ran to the bathroom. Is vomiting a symptom of wd? I'm eating simple foods but really not hungry as everything is making me feel sick

Morning MMXV l am not surprised honestly that is too big a cut.Your aim was to cut 20mgs in one month l haven't witnessed anyone on here that has been able to do that.l also see by your signature you have stopped a few different drugs without any real time between each taper that isn't going to help you in anyway.I know you want to get off this drug quickly however it doesn't pay to rush this.l think you must rethink your strategy and look at ways to taper that won't make you feel so debilitated.At the end of the day we must do what we can not to end up making recovery longer by rushing our taper.X

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

In work just wanted you all to know l am thinking of you.l will catch up tomorrow.

Love you all.X

[[Tr...]]

Hello Stut,

 

Glad to see you're able to work.

 

This is the  second day in a row I'm feeling really weak and miserable. I did a stupid thing: made a larger cut than usual (0,1 mg  in one cut).  Shouldn't have done that while still recovering from the setback Seroxat gave me. So, two stupid things really...

Last night was the first time I didn't sleep at all. So I 'm feeling like sh*t right now.

Going back to 3,0 mgs and going to hold for as long as it takes.

 

Hope your day went well.

[[Tr...]]

Trishy, how did Rich's first day go?

Hey Mary!

Rich's first day went well. He went into the shop with a surgical mask and wore that all day, he ate lunch in his car lol! They gave him two black cloth masks so he wore one of those today, yes I washed them first lol! So, he came home took his shoes off went straight to the shower took his clothes off and put them in the basket then I took the basket and dumped them right into the washer. I was ok with handling clothes, I really didn't touch them but I washed my hands anyway right after I put them in the wash. So that laundry basket is just for his work clothes. He was ok with being there, he said he felt safe and everyone kept their distance. He was upset though that the aircraft he was working on when he left for 6 weeks was untouched so he has mega work to do on it. In other words they left the job that needed to be done on it for him when someone else could have finished it 🤷

 

I'm going to clean and do some laundry around here today. I did more planting yesterday and sat on my swing on my deck reading magazines and my Kindle. It was a nice day. Rich and I ordered takeout for our anniversary from one of our favorite Italian restaurants.

 

How are you doing? Is the pain any better, I hope so 🙏♥️

LU,

TT ❤️

[[Ma...]]

Trishy, how did Rich's first day go?

Hey Mary!

Rich's first day went well. He went into the shop with a surgical mask and wore that all day, he ate lunch in his car lol! They gave him two black cloth masks so he wore one of those today, yes I washed them first lol! So, he came home took his shoes off went straight to the shower took his clothes off and put them in the basket then I took the basket and dumped them right into the washer. I was ok with handling clothes, I really didn't touch them but I washed my hands anyway right after I put them in the wash. So that laundry basket is just for his work clothes. He was ok with being there, he said he felt safe and everyone kept their distance. He was upset though that the aircraft he was working on when he left for 6 weeks was untouched so he has mega work to do on it. In other words they left the job that needed to be done on it for him when someone else could have finished it 🤷

 

I'm going to clean and do some laundry around here today. I did more planting yesterday and sat on my swing on my deck reading magazines and my Kindle. It was a nice day. Rich and I ordered takeout for our anniversary from one of our favorite Italian restaurants.

 

How are you doing? Is the pain any better, I hope so 🙏♥️

LU,

TT ❤️

 

I am doing alittle better..  Benzo belly easing alittle,

back alittle, now my left eyeball feels huge.    What do benzo's do?  Yes, SUCK!!    :laugh:

Glad things went well with Rich and you guys made a special time for your Anniversary.  Love you Too Many, MM.  💜💜

[[Tr...]]

Trishy, how did Rich's first day go?

Hey Mary!

Rich's first day went well. He went into the shop with a surgical mask and wore that all day, he ate lunch in his car lol! They gave him two black cloth masks so he wore one of those today, yes I washed them first lol! So, he came home took his shoes off went straight to the shower took his clothes off and put them in the basket then I took the basket and dumped them right into the washer. I was ok with handling clothes, I really didn't touch them but I washed my hands anyway right after I put them in the wash. So that laundry basket is just for his work clothes. He was ok with being there, he said he felt safe and everyone kept their distance. He was upset though that the aircraft he was working on when he left for 6 weeks was untouched so he has mega work to do on it. In other words they left the job that needed to be done on it for him when someone else could have finished it 🤷

 

I'm going to clean and do some laundry around here today. I did more planting yesterday and sat on my swing on my deck reading magazines and my Kindle. It was a nice day. Rich and I ordered takeout for our anniversary from one of our favorite Italian restaurants.

 

How are you doing? Is the pain any better, I hope so 🙏♥️

LU,

TT ❤️

 

I am doing alittle better..  Benzo belly easing alittle,

back alittle, now my left eyeball feels huge.    What do benzo's do?  Yes, SUCK!!    :laugh:

Glad things went well with Rich and you guys made a special time for your Anniversary.  Love you Too Many, MM.  💜💜

Aww Mary I'm so sorry about your peeper but am glad that the pain is some better and your tummy is getting better. Yes my dear friend benzos totally SUCK! 

 

I just washed floors, vacuumed, dusted, laundry and it took 3 hrs. I feel like I've been working for 8 hrs! My body is so out of shape. When I worked in the school system I was on the go all day and usually only sat for a half hour for lunch. I believe my old job kept me in better shape. Now I'm just an old broken down mess 😔 I'm trying to diet again bc this extra weight is just too much for me. I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. Geessshhh! 2020 blows big time!! 🤬

 

I hope your resting your eyes and sitting outside in the 🌞. It's beautiful here again today hope it is where you are. The sun always lifts my spirits. Take care girl, talk later.

 

Love you!

TT, too many and too much of everything sh*tt y 🙄

 

[[Ma...]]

Hello my beautiful Queen,

I miss you and hope you aren't working too much.  Hope your weekend with your daughter went well and her new life is beginning.  Tell her we are all excited for her and the lad.  How is Trevor and the babies?  Does Trevor walk with you across the fields while the dogs play?  That sounds like such a nice

distraction.  I am really glad he is there with you.  It gives me some peace of mind 

Tim and Sly are doing good.  We gave Tim a haircut this weekend, his hair had grown so much , it was curling at the bottom.  We actually did a fine job and shocked us both  :laugh:  I am having some issues but I will be okay.  Hope your symptoms are easing.  .25 , You are the woman!!  I am making everyone sign legal documents saying you will not leave me, yours will be in your email soon! 

I love you Stut, please please stay safe, your Lady Mary xHen 🐥🐥🐥🐥.    ❣️❤️❣️❤️❣️❤️❣️

[[Tr...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

In work just wanted you all to know l am thinking of you.l will catch up tomorrow.

Love you all.X

Hark what's this I hear twinny 👂.. you're at . 25?! Why must I learn these things about you on the street?  :laugh: that's wonderful Stut I'm so happy for you.. the world is on fire and you're doing fabulous!!  You are rockin your taper that's awesome, you go girl!! 🙌 🎉🎊 😁

 

Love you woman!

LST ❤️

[[Ma...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

In work just wanted you all to know l am thinking of you.l will catch up tomorrow.

Love you all.X

Hark what's this I hear twinny 👂.. you're at . 25?! Why must I learn these things about you on the street?  :laugh: that's wonderful Stut I'm so happy for you.. the world is on fire and you're doing fabulous!!  You are rockin your taper that's awesome, you go girl!! 🙌 🎉🎊 😁

 

Love you woman!

LST ❤️

 

On the street  :laugh:

[[De...]]

That is great Stut! You are sooo close! Hope yours are not to bad. Please stay safe!!! Love you Suzy

[[Ma...]]

Hey DD, finally got an email from enso  .  My stuff is suppose to be here by the 8th, we will see.  Fingers crossed.  Hope you are okay . LY MM.  :smitten:

[[De...]]

Hey mm!

That is good! Fingers crossed too! 3 more days! I am os k. The eye pain subsided. Omg. I woke up with it this morning and it got z little better as the day went on. Ok now. Knock on wood. If I think of it, it willnstart. It really does feel like an enlarged eye. So weird. I hate this drug.its so evil. Hope you are feeling ok, especially in the midst of all t by at is going on. Feels like a really weird dream! Love you dd ❤❤❤🤗🙏

[[St...]]

Good morning LHSG hoping everyone has a better day.

Morning Trish woohoo 🎊🎉 yes finally made it.Have to say many times l thought it wasn't doable but here l am.How is Rich getting on l would imagine he is keeping himself safe? Happy Anniversary twiny l know it wasn't the celebration it should have been so probably in a couple of years time you will be able to fully celebrate with all the family and ofcourse your favourite twin 😇. You will lose the weight honey it takes time and now spring is here you will probably be outside moving more.Keep at it honey and for goodness sake stop standing on the street corner 😂. love you my lST X 😘

Morning Suzy good to hear you are feeling less pain.Try to stay distracted and try not to worry.Thank you you will get through this withdrawal as well just take it slow and steady.Love you.X

Morning Troch honestly you are your worst enemy.l really think you are going to have to learn to be patient.l know it's hard l have had to find the patience myself and that is the one thing that has helped me get to 0.25 mgs.Do not let your anxiety and fear dictate your taper.Remember tapering isn't easy however it is doable if you take your time especially at low doses.love to you.X

Morning Lady Mary awe Hen l am doing ok l came on yesterday was ready to write to everyone then got hit by an emergency so had to run.Never a dull moment.l am sure you did an amazing job on Tim's hair now nip over here and cut mine 😕. Trevor is doing good he doesn't walk the dogs he is too much of a man for that 😠.We are rubbing along ok he gives me my space and l give him his.My daughter is excited and l am so happy to see her enjoying her life.Honestly Mary he is lovely and he is so good to her.l think they will be together for the foreseeable ❣️.She is doing exams soon so most weekends are taken up with studying.I don't have an email 😏😉.l would imagine honey l will be here for some time so dinny panic hen.l will be cheering you on from the sidelines woohoo 🎊🎉.I hope your withdrawal symptoms ease honey.l know you have suffered too much however you will find your way through this.love you my lady Mary HenX

Morning GP Final Bill Miyu Nova Esperanza Olive Gilly Valley Free Meems Val NJ and everyone here sending you my love.X

[[Ma...]]

Hey Stut, are you having a day off, I hope.  So glad to hear everyone is doing okay and your daughter is very happy.  I know that makes you happy too after all you guys have gone through.  We miss you but know you are brave and want to help.  You are pretty damn special.  Please take care and be safe.  Pets for Muffin and Daisy.  Tell Trevor Real Men Walk Dogs!!      Love you my Queen, your Lady Mary X Hen. 🐥🐥🐥🐥.  🐕🐶🐾🐾🐾🐾.    ❤️❣️❤️