The Long Hold Support Group

[[li...]]

Please--were you better on the Klonopin before you started tapering than you are today?

[[Pl...]]

Please--were you better on the Klonopin before you started tapering than you are today?

 

It's hard to say because I was so severely symptomatic when I started and brain fogged..... all I know is that it did soften my symptoms and I started to be a bit better .... But when I switched to liquid things got worse....I stayed on the liquid for 4 weeks and  Then I rapidly reduced 5 percent in 6 weeks...

 

I did the dosing 3 times a day to cut back on the sedation....

 

I was thinking of trying to go back to pills to see if that will make a difference but was told that I would lose accuracy....

 

What do you think?  I can't take this anymore.... Now I'm terrified of trying the pills and that my body will know immediately and it will get worse...

[[ly...]]

 

 

Liza and Please - why were you switched to K?

 

Please - Different receptors for different benzo's(?).  Why would V be such a universal c/o for so many here if this were a problem?  Does V, then, hit all receptors?  In other words, is there a particular problem with crossing to K?  You and Liza seem to be having the same problems.

[[Pl...]]

 

 

Liza and Please - why were you switched to K?

 

Please - Different receptors for different benzo's(?).  Why would V be such a universal c/o for so many here if this were a problem?  Does V, then, hit all receptors?  In other words, is there a particular problem with crossing to K?  You and Liza seem to be having the same problems.

Hi Lynn..... yes... each benzo has different profiles of action....you can also see this evident with the type of withdrawal symptoms people have based on the benzo they were on... ( at least I can definitely see the difference even on this site and I've read about this in a scientific article explaining benzos and by doctors who are benzo wise) ....

 

I could not taper directly off ativan due to its short half life and stopped after 1 month.... things got progressively worse..... at 10 months off I was put on kolonopin as my doctor said that is the protocol for people on short half life benzos.... That is the main reason they do that... to make it easier for those who may have a much harder time experiencing interdose withdrawal...Had I would have known I would have gotten worse I would have crossed over immediately....who knew?

 

That's how I ended up in this mess... :'(

[[ly...]]

 

 

I'm glad I didn't cross (dumb luck).  I sure couldn't take the depression of V and just the vagaries of it all...

 

I am fortunate that I've been able to direct taper Xanax.  I don't think I'm highly sensitive to meds b/c I was on and off and on sooo many over the past 25yrs and never tapered anything until now.

 

I'm very sorry that you are struggling so much 

[[Pl...]]

 

 

I'm glad I didn't cross (dumb luck).  I sure couldn't take the depression of V and just the vagaries of it all...

 

I am fortunate that I've been able to direct taper Xanax.  I don't think I'm highly sensitive to meds b/c I was on and off and on sooo many over the past 25yrs and never tapered anything until now.

 

I'm very sorry that you are struggling so much 

 

thank you so much Lynn.... I don't think crossing is bad I think its probably helped alot of people... I'm just terrified of the position I'm in....

[[li...]]

I'm not comfortable switching from the liquid. I did have a decent week at 1.25 mg after feeling sick for a long while--I even thought of I could feel that good every day I would stay on after the years of horror I've been through. But I started tapering after 4 weeks which is why I was told a long hold would stabilize me. I've been on the disdolvable klonopin tablets in milk since I started. I'm too scared to try anything too--everything I've tried has been a problem or didn't change anything. but after I see the doc on Friday (I have to act like everything's fine or he will dump me) im going to try something-3/day dosing or updose or microtaper. No idea which. Rolling the dice. It's only my life. Ugh

[[Pl...]]

I'm not comfortable switching from the liquid. I did have a decent week at 1.25 mg after feeling sick for a long while--I even thought of I could feel that good every day I would stay on after the years of horror I've been through. But I started tapering after 4 weeks which is why I was told a long hold would stabilize me. I've been on the disdolvable klonopin tablets in milk since I started. I'm too scared to try anything too--everything I've tried has been a problem or didn't change anything. but after I see the doc on Friday (I have to act like everything's fine or he will dump me) im going to try something-3/day dosing or updose or microtaper. No idea which. Rolling the dice. It's only my life. Ugh

 

I know how you feel... I keep going back and forth between what to do and try too.....  I would try the 3 dosing first and then take it from there..

 

I am going to try to hold a little bit ...and then try to microtaper again... If it gets worse again I don't know what ill do... I just know I can't stay on this drug..... 

 

I don't know if this made my symptoms worse or not, but I tried probiotics for about 5 days because my gut imbalance by doc was said to be very bad and then I started a pea protein shake for a few days and I had no reactions... im not ingesting enough protein....but once my time of the month started everything multiplied by 1000! more then it usually does...

 

Was it the stuff I took? I don't know... But I'm not taking it for now because it was horrific! I haven't been the same since for the past two weeks...

 

I'm sick of crying so much every single day from the suffering...

 

I'm keeping you in my thoughts... but try what you listed above.. If one doesn't work then try the next best choice...(((. Hugs  )))

 

 

[[li...]]

Supplements are what gave me bad stomach pain which sent me to the ER where I was given iral lidocaine which threw me back into acute withdrawal and a forced reinstatement in the hospital. I was told that probiotics are often too strong and can cause die off or detox. Not what you need now. I do different brands of organic Greek yogurt to keep my gut in check. Protein powders may have synthetic vitamins--some people can take vitamins--I cannot. You don't each broccoli, cauliflower or cabbage do you?  They affect the way K is absorbed too. Maybe you have found your answer--add on your cycle when progesterone is low (which affects GABA) and it may be the reason for increased struggle. You'll know if you stop them and see if you're better.

[[Pl...]]

Supplements are what gave me bad stomach pain which sent me to the ER where I was given iral lidocaine which threw me back into acute withdrawal and a forced reinstatement in the hospital. I was told that probiotics are often too strong and can cause die off or detox. Not what you need now. I do different brands of organic Greek yogurt to keep my gut in check. Protein powders may have synthetic vitamins--some people can take vitamins--I cannot. You don't each broccoli, cauliflower or cabbage do you?  They affect the way K is absorbed too. Maybe you have found your answer--add on your cycle when progesterone is low (which affects GABA) and it may be the reason for increased struggle. You'll know if you stop them and see if you're better.

Liza.. I didn't know all this.... So its the progesterone during the cycle which can make sxs worse? Because everything is soooooo bad then with sxs.....severe facial contractions contortions tics.. Head shaking...involuntary body contractions...tremors...Beyond horror...

 

What do you mean that probiotics can cause die off or detox? Do you mean eliminating the drug more? I don't eat those veggies you mention...

 

But... It makes sense why my symptoms got much  much worse these past two weeks then....the probiotics and possibly the powder (with no added vitamins just amino acids) along with the cycle...

 

I didn't find my answer to getting this right  but after only taking this stuff for 5 days I believe did effect everything so much worse...

[[Va...]]

Supplements are what gave me bad stomach pain which sent me to the ER where I was given iral lidocaine which threw me back into acute withdrawal and a forced reinstatement in the hospital. I was told that probiotics are often too strong and can cause die off or detox. Not what you need now. I do different brands of organic Greek yogurt to keep my gut in check. Protein powders may have synthetic vitamins--some people can take vitamins--I cannot. You don't each broccoli, cauliflower or cabbage do you?  They affect the way K is absorbed too. Maybe you have found your answer--add on your cycle when progesterone is low (which affects GABA) and it may be the reason for increased struggle. You'll know if you stop them and see if you're better.

Liza.. I didn't know all this.... So its the progesterone during the cycle which can make sxs worse? Because everything is soooooo bad then with sxs.....severe facial contractions contortions tics.. Head shaking...involuntary body contractions...tremors...Beyond horror...

 

What do you mean that probiotics can cause die off or detox? Do you mean eliminating the drug more? I don't eat those veggies you mention...

 

But... It makes sense why my symptoms got much  much worse these past two weeks then....the probiotics and possibly the powder (with no added vitamins just amino acids) along with the cycle...

 

I didn't find my answer to getting this right  but after only taking this stuff for 5 days I believe did effect everything so much worse...

Hi Please. I know you're asking liza but I can give you my experience with probiotics. They cause a die off of bad bacteria which can worsen IBS sxs if you have them. I gave up on the probiotics.  --V

[[Pl...]]

Supplements are what gave me bad stomach pain which sent me to the ER where I was given iral lidocaine which threw me back into acute withdrawal and a forced reinstatement in the hospital. I was told that probiotics are often too strong and can cause die off or detox. Not what you need now. I do different brands of organic Greek yogurt to keep my gut in check. Protein powders may have synthetic vitamins--some people can take vitamins--I cannot. You don't each broccoli, cauliflower or cabbage do you?  They affect the way K is absorbed too. Maybe you have found your answer--add on your cycle when progesterone is low (which affects GABA) and it may be the reason for increased struggle. You'll know if you stop them and see if you're better.

Liza.. I didn't know all this.... So its the progesterone during the cycle which can make sxs worse? Because everything is soooooo bad then with sxs.....severe facial contractions contortions tics.. Head shaking...involuntary body contractions...tremors...Beyond horror...

 

What do you mean that probiotics can cause die off or detox? Do you mean eliminating the drug more? I don't eat those veggies you mention...

 

But... It makes sense why my symptoms got much  much worse these past two weeks then....the probiotics and possibly the powder (with no added vitamins just amino acids) along with the cycle...

 

I didn't find my answer to getting this right  but after only taking this stuff for 5 days I believe did effect everything so much worse...

Hi Please. I know you're asking liza but I can give you my experience with probiotics. They cause a die off of bad bacteria which can worsen IBS sxs if you have them. I gave up on the probiotics.  --V

 

Hi V.... Thanks for chiming in with your experience.... Okay I understand a little better now.... I was told I have a bad gut but I have no GI problems at all..... Never really had.....she said that I didn't have to just that the balance was very off...

 

I'm laying off on them as I've gotten worse since then but not sure if that's what really caused it....

Your gut is your second brain and I thought this would help me...

[[He...]]

Hi,

I just thought I'd let you know,  those of you who are suffering from neck pain during withdrawal, that there are some pretty good exercises that  I found on YouTube. They really work as far as stretching out your neck muscles. It does give relief. You might want to investigate.

 

I don't know much, but Just trying to give back when I can.

 

Heathcliff.v

[[Va...]]

Hi,

I just thought I'd let you know,  those of you who are suffering from neck pain during withdrawal, that there are some pretty good exercises that  I found on YouTube. They really work as far as stretching out your neck muscles. It does give relief. You might want to investigate.

 

I don't know much, but Just trying to give back when I can.

 

Heathcliff.v

Thanks Heath! 

[[Pl...]]

Hi,

I just thought I'd let you know,  those of you who are suffering from neck pain during withdrawal, that there are some pretty good exercises that  I found on YouTube. They really work as far as stretching out your neck muscles. It does give relief. You might want to investigate.

 

I don't know much, but Just trying to give back when I can.

 

Heathcliff.v

 

Heathcliff... What about chest and head/scalp muscles?  I know its a longshot other then having someone massage you...there's really no way to exercise or loosen that up . My chest always feels so constricted along with my head and eye muscles....it's unreal....

 

I'm glad you found something helping you....

[[He...]]

Hi,

I just thought I'd let you know,  those of you who are suffering from neck pain during withdrawal, that there are some pretty good exercises that  I found on YouTube. They really work as far as stretching out your neck muscles. It does give relief. You might want to investigate.

 

I don't know much, but Just trying to give back when I can.

 

Heathcliff.v

 

Heathcliff... What about chest and head/scalp muscles?  I know its a longshot other then having someone massage you...there's really no way to exercise or loosen that up . My chest always feels so constricted along with my head and eye muscles....it's unreal....

 

I'm glad you found something helping you....

 

Hi Pleasebethere,

I found the exercises for neck pain just by going into YouTube. In the search section I typed in "exercises for neck pain" and a whole bunch popped up. The ones I found most helpful were the videos posted by physical therapists and yoga instructors.

 

I just started the exercises last night so I don't know if they will eventually loosen up my tense muscles enough to get rid of the pain, but if it gets a least a lot better I will be very thankful. So far it has given me relief.

 

When you say tightness in your scalp,do you mean tension headaches?

 

I sometimes get tension headaches and a chiropractor told me they were coming from the tightness in my neck. He said it was referred pain.  Neck stretches helped that too.

 

One of the physical therapist's videos explained the all the muscles in your body are connected. So if  a certain set of muscles get tight, they can also affect the nearby muscles. ( that makes sense to me because the shoulder, upper back and  neck muscles are right by the head.)

 

Maybe you can try some of the neck stretches and they might help your scalp tightness  too? One of the videos shows how to do upper back, shoulder, and neck  stretches to get relief. I think it was posted by a physical Yoga instructor Jen Hilman.

 

You can also type in tension headaches, or "tight scalp relief" in the YouTube search space. That might bring up some different exercises? 

 

Only dont overdue the exercises. Start out slow and easy, but do them two times a day. Sometimes takes time to loosen up the tense muscles. But you don't want to do it too intensely or you might hurt yourself. There are all these instructions along with each video. I hope you get relief.

 

About your chest tightness, I really dont know. But I wonder if the exercises to stretch out your upper back muscles might help?? You can find all kinds of exercises on you tube.. I think it's definitely worth a try.

 

Good luck. Keep up the fight!  Peace and healing , and easier times ahead!

 

Heathcliff

[[Ho...]]

Hi,

I just thought I'd let you know,  those of you who are suffering from neck pain during withdrawal, that there are some pretty good exercises that  I found on YouTube. They really work as far as stretching out your neck muscles. It does give relief. You might want to investigate.

 

I don't know much, but Just trying to give back when I can.

 

Heathcliff.v

 

Heathcliff... What about chest and head/scalp muscles?  I know its a longshot other then having someone massage you...there's really no way to exercise or loosen that up . My chest always feels so constricted along with my head and eye muscles....it's unreal....

 

I'm glad you found something helping you....

 

Chest muscles. I can help with that because I've been in physical therapy for a mastectomy/breast reconstruction and have been dealing with pec muscle spasm. Get a 3 foot half foam roller (about 15$ on Amazon), the black one because it's firmer. Lay the roller on the floor flat side down. Lay on your back with your spine on top of the foam roller (It's long enough so that your head and butt are both on it.  You can just hang out there and do some deep breathing and get a gentle stretch.  For more stretch, clasp both hands on your forehead with elbows up and together then wing them out like a butterfly.  Hold when you feel a stretch for 30 seconds, do 3 times. Then with your arms up and together but elbows bent so your lower arms are parallel with your face, wing out your arms until they look like a goalpost and hold the stretch again 30 seconds, 3 times.  I do this twice a day.  It really helps me, and I have tissue expanders under my pec muscles.  This is what my therapist taught me and it has worked wonders.

[[Pl...]]

Hi,

I just thought I'd let you know,  those of you who are suffering from neck pain during withdrawal, that there are some pretty good exercises that  I found on YouTube. They really work as far as stretching out your neck muscles. It does give relief. You might want to investigate.

 

I don't know much, but Just trying to give back when I can.

 

Heathcliff.v

 

Heathcliff... What about chest and head/scalp muscles?  I know its a longshot other then having someone massage you...there's really no way to exercise or loosen that up . My chest always feels so constricted along with my head and eye muscles....it's unreal....

 

I'm glad you found something helping you....

 

Hi Pleasebethere,

I found the exercises for neck pain just by going into YouTube. In the search section I typed in "exercises for neck pain" and a whole bunch popped up. The ones I found most helpful were the videos posted by physical therapists and yoga instructors.

 

I just started the exercises last night so I don't know if they will eventually loosen up my tense muscles enough to get rid of the pain, but if it gets a least a lot better I will be very thankful. So far it has given me relief.

 

When you say tightness in your scalp,do you mean tension headaches?

 

I sometimes get tension headaches and a chiropractor told me they were coming from the tightness in my neck. He said it was referred pain.  Neck stretches helped that too.

 

One of the physical therapist's videos explained the all the muscles in your body are connected. So if  a certain set of muscles get tight, they can also affect the nearby muscles. ( that makes sense to me because the shoulder, upper back and  neck muscles are right by the head.)

 

Maybe you can try some of the neck stretches and they might help your scalp tightness  too? One of the videos shows how to do upper back, shoulder, and neck  stretches to get relief. I think it was posted by a physical Yoga instructor Jen Hilman.

 

You can also type in tension headaches, or "tight scalp relief" in the YouTube search space. That might bring up some different exercises? 

 

Only dont overdue the exercises. Start out slow and easy, but do them two times a day. Sometimes takes time to loosen up the tense muscles. But you don't want to do it too intensely or you might hurt yourself. There are all these instructions along with each video. I hope you get relief.

 

About your chest tightness, I really dont know. But I wonder if the exercises to stretch out your upper back muscles might help?? You can find all kinds of exercises on you tube.. I think it's definitely worth a try.

 

Good luck. Keep up the fight!  Peace and healing , and easier times ahead!

 

Heathcliff

 

Thank you so much Heathcliff... That was kind of you to share.... It's really hard to describe but its like my entire scalp is being squeezed along with my brain and shoots down into my forehead eyes and face and then shoots down into my chest... It's the weirdest feeling ever!! They are so constricted....and it's mostly all on my left side.... Like being in a pressure chamber walking against the force of gravity kind of feeling , too...

 

And I would do anything to make the forehead spasms stop too.. It's like my whole head and face were attacked... Literally!!!

 

 

I think there is a nerve called the trigeminal nerve that controls this along with muscles...Not sure....

 

My understanding is that the scalp around the whole head has alot of muscles?

 

Anyway,  thank you so much for the info again..... its interesting how its all connected....Ill try to look into some videos...

 

be well......(((hugs))).

 

 

[[He...]]

If you lie awake in the early morning and can't sleep. If you have intrusive negative and scary thoughts. If you think you can't go on with this process any longer and you just can't do it. But you keep saying...don't give up, this horrorible feeling will go away soon, it's just your benzo brain talking.  But you feel awful and afraid. And you have very little live person support. And you just are at your wits end. And the feelings and thoughts in your head do go away in a couple of hours, but they return again the next day, and so on.

Is this a common part of what happens during withdrawal? Or are you indeed losing your mind and going crazy? I get so frightened when I start to feel out of control with my thoughts. .i try to distract and it helps sometimes. Sometimes I read. 

I am so scared.

 

It's getting harder and harder to do this taper. I don't want to give up but if it's this hard now, what lies ahead?  I will hold and hold and hold in the hopes that is going to help. I hope it really does help me to stabilize. How long, How long, How long, please help me to do this! I can't stand it!

 

Heathcliff :-[ :-[ :-[

 

[[ly...]]

 

 

Heath,

 

When I cut too fast earlier this year it took a full 2 months until I felt good. I then held another 2 months for good measure.  Upon resuming taper, the cuts have been quite mild in comparison.  This is my experience.

[[ba...]]

If you lie awake in the early morning and can't sleep. If you have intrusive negative and scary thoughts. If you think you can't go on with this process any longer and you just can't do it. But you keep saying...don't give up, this horrorible feeling will go away soon, it's just your benzo brain talking.  But you feel awful and afraid. And you have very little live person support. And you just are at your wits end. And the feelings and thoughts in your head do go away in a couple of hours, but they return again the next day, and so on.

Is this a common part of what happens during withdrawal? Or are you indeed losing your mind and going crazy? I get so frightened when I start to feel out of control with my thoughts. .i try to distract and it helps sometimes. Sometimes I read. 

I am so scared.

 

It's getting harder and harder to do this taper. I don't want to give up but if it's this hard now, what lies ahead?  I will hold and hold and hold in the hopes that is going to help. I hope it really does help me to stabilize. How long, How long, How long, please help me to do this! I can't stand it!

 

Heathcliff :-[ :-[ :-[

 

Checking in, its been a while. I feel like Heathcliff. I have been holding at  higher dose for almost a month. I am not in as intense wd as I was, but I am still in wd. I want to cut!!!!!I want out of this mess!!!! Cut yesterday, and was back in harder wd, no lag time. Back to the original dose.

 

I feel so alone, so hopeless. How am I ever going to get off of this shit?

 

What Heathcliff said about waking up dreading the day really resonates. Decided to count my panic attacks this morning-getting about 1 every hour. I have had functional periods, but only about once a week do I get those, and its not really a window, its a span of an hour or 2 where I can functional pretty close to normal.

 

I am so frustrated, I feel so hopeless. I want to cut down, I don't want to be stuck where I am at, I don't want to be on this drug.

 

More holding, sigh.

 

Encouragement appreciated. I am crying.

[[Pl...]]

Hi,

I just thought I'd let you know,  those of you who are suffering from neck pain during withdrawal, that there are some pretty good exercises that  I found on YouTube. They really work as far as stretching out your neck muscles. It does give relief. You might want to investigate.

 

I don't know much, but Just trying to give back when I can.

 

Heathcliff.v

 

Heathcliff... What about chest and head/scalp muscles?  I know its a longshot other then having someone massage you...there's really no way to exercise or loosen that up . My chest always feels so constricted along with my head and eye muscles....it's unreal....

 

I'm glad you found something helping you....

 

Chest muscles. I can help with that because I've been in physical therapy for a mastectomy/breast reconstruction and have been dealing with pec muscle spasm. Get a 3 foot half foam roller (about 15$ on Amazon), the black one because it's firmer. Lay the roller on the floor flat side down. Lay on your back with your spine on top of the foam roller (It's long enough so that your head and butt are both on it.  You can just hang out there and do some deep breathing and get a gentle stretch.  For more stretch, clasp both hands on your forehead with elbows up and together then wing them out like a butterfly.  Hold when you feel a stretch for 30 seconds, do 3 times. Then with your arms up and together but elbows bent so your lower arms are parallel with your face, wing out your arms until they look like a goalpost and hold the stretch again 30 seconds, 3 times.  I do this twice a day.  It really helps me, and I have tissue expanders under mypec muscles.  This is what my therapist taught me and it has worked wonders

 

Hope76..... Thank you so much for this awesome detailed response...... It is very much appreciated from both you and Heathcliff....I don't know where else to turn and ask but would you know on how to have your eyebrows stop from moving back and forth in a spasm? It is a crazy symptom and I can't take it anymore... I have to put cosmetic tape on it so I could dull the pain down....  It is very visible when it is happening and I look like a freak show....

 

I understand if you don't since its an odd freaky symptom but I figured I would ask....

 

Thank you again...

[[Pl...]]

If you lie awake in the early morning and can't sleep. If you have intrusive negative and scary thoughts. If you think you can't go on with this process any longer and you just can't do it. But you keep saying...don't give up, this horrorible feeling will go away soon, it's just your benzo brain talking.  But you feel awful and afraid. And you have very little live person support. And you just are at your wits end. And the feelings and thoughts in your head do go away in a couple of hours, but they return again the next day, and so on.

Is this a common part of what happens during withdrawal? Or are you indeed losing your mind and going crazy? I get so frightened when I start to feel out of control with my thoughts. .i try to distract and it helps sometimes. Sometimes I read. 

I am so scared.

 

It's getting harder and harder to do this taper. I don't want to give up but if it's this hard now, what lies ahead?  I will hold and hold and hold in the hopes that is going to help. I hope it really does help me to stabilize. How long, How long, How long, please help me to do this! I can't stand it!

 

Heathcliff :-[ :-[ :-[

 

Checking in, its been a while. I feel like Heathcliff. I have been holding at  higher dose for almost a month. I am not in as intense wd as I was, but I am still in wd. I want to cut!!!!!I want out of this mess!!!! Cut yesterday, and was back in harder wd, no lag time. Back to the original dose.

 

I feel so alone, so hopeless. How am I ever going to get off of this shit?

 

What Heathcliff said about waking up dreading the day really resonates. Decided to count my panic attacks this morning-getting about 1 every hour. I have had functional periods, but only about once a week do I get those, and its not really a window, its a span of an hour or 2 where I can functional pretty close to normal.

 

I am so frustrated, I feel so hopeless. I want to cut down, I don't want to be stuck where I am at, I don't want to be on this drug.

 

More holding, sigh.

 

Encouragement appreciated. I am crying.

 

Baddove and heathcliff....I also have this very badly....I really don't want to hold and feel I can't cut either as I'm so symptomatic.... I do not want to be on this drug either.....the dizziness alone is so hard to take...

[[ly...]]

 

 

Baddove,

 

I'm glad that things seem to be getting better - if I read your post correctly - and the updose has helped.  I know it's frustrating and awful to be on this drug but I do think you will feel better by holding for a while.

 

I can't see your signature on this reply page but IIRC you have had quite an up, down and all around time over the past few months.  I might resist the urge to cut until you feel pretty well for a month or so.  I've completely thrown out the calendar and just listen to my body. I no longer have an internal urge to get off quickly.  I recently held 4 months and I didn't care at all.  I don't care how long it takes as long as I can live my life and feel fairly well.

 

Some do better while they continue to cut but it seems that this might not be the case with you as your updose helped - correct me if I am wrong here.  Try to take it hour by hour and not get too discouraged.  It is a process and sometimes it's best to accept the symptoms as a part of that process.

 

Wishing you the best! :smitten:

[[ba...]]

 

 

Baddove,

 

I'm glad that things seem to be getting better - if I read your post correctly - and the updose has helped.  I know it's frustrating and awful to be on this drug but I do think you will feel better by holding for a while.

 

I can't see your signature on this reply page but IIRC you have had quite an up, down and all around time over the past few months.  I might resist the urge to cut until you feel pretty well for a month or so.  I've completely thrown out the calendar and just listen to my body. I no longer have an internal urge to get off quickly.  I recently held 4 months and I didn't care at all.  I don't care how long it takes as long as I can live my life and feel fairly well.

 

Some do better while they continue to cut but it seems that this might not be the case with you as your updose helped - correct me if I am wrong here.  Try to take it hour by hour and not get too discouraged.  It is a process and sometimes it's best to accept the symptoms as a part of that process.

 

Wishing you the best! :smitten:

 

Thanks Lynn, I had to count up the tiny progress I have made so I wouldn't feel so discouraged. I am taking slightly less than I was a month ago, and I am stretching my holds a bit longer. I have felt like no matter what, I am just in for a long protracted wd from hell, it overwhelms me to contemplate the toll that takes. It leads me to a very dark place.

 

I guess for me, its micro shaving. I actually have gone down a bit in the last month, I had to count my numbers, and I did do it. Not much, but I did.