The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ma...]]

Good night all , 😘 Mary

 

Love you :sleepy:

[[4G...]]

Hi Esperanza. Two things. Firstly, you said that you hadn't really had physical symptoms but you thought you would inevitably get them. This 'aint necessarily so'. I've been through Hell with anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation for six years now. Yet the only physical things I've had are blurred vision and mild tinnitus. So you may not get physical stuff. I think other folks have had many physical things and not so much the 'mental' symptoms. However, I would think that intense, interminable -seeming physical symptoms could easily lead to anxiety and certainly depression.

 

Secondly, when I've been very bad and have doubted that I could carry on, the thing that brought me through was my love for my daughter. I don't think any love is as strong as a mother's love.

 

I hope you are feeling a little bit better. When is Tom back? You must be so proud of him going on these missions. You are getting through this!

 

By the way, thank you for saying I deserve a break. That's really kind of you.

 

Love and Hugs.  Gilly xxx 💟💟💟

[[Tr...]]

I have been wrapped up in myself today and am just now peeking in. Trishy, honey, I can’t imagine how scared you must have been. Just walking in the ER is enough to great maximum stress in anyone. You have had such a tough week with all the heart testing, it is no wonder your body reacted by doing something else to scare the crap out of you. It seems like fear and stress are my constant companions now, so I can relate. I can’t imagine having to cope with those feelings if I had had to go through what you did this week. I may find out before this is over. My Benzo hasn’t finished destroying what is left of my brain yet, so it hasn’t had time to move on to other body parts, but I am sure it has plans for my future. Please pamper yourself. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. Take off work, if you can, and just let everything go. As bad as withdrawal symptoms can be, I think the number one worst is the ramped up anxiety. It is, at least for me, the hardest to endure. Plus, it makes everything else 10 times worse. Sending my love and concern, Esperanza

Esperanza,

You're so amazing. You suffer greatly and yet you take the time to be there for others who are in need. I can not tell you how grateful I am for your kind, caring words now and in the past. I just want to say thank you for being such a good friend to me here. I am so fortunate to have you and all the others who have become like family members to me. I recently in a post to Mary said that even though this benzo thing is a true nightmare, the one blessing in all of this was meeting all of you. I don't think anything happens by coincidence, while I'll never know why this happened to any of us or what the divine plan is here I do recognize a blessing when I see it and you my friend are one of those true blessings. I value the friendship I have with you and the others, thank you from the bottom of my heart E.

 

Love you lady,

Trish ❤️💞💞

[[Tr...]]

Good morning everyone, I'm sure our conductor will be on soon, she's probably having her morning coffee before pulling out the 🚂 ..

 

I managed to sleep a little better last night with minimal head pain. I hope everyone here had a restful , peaceful night's sleep. Wishing you all a wonderful Saturday. I'm going to get my hair done in a few hours..a little distraction from everything and a new hairstyle and maybe a slight color change will lift my spirits a little

 

Be well my friend's, see you later here in our room 😘

 

Love to all,

Trish 💞💞

[[Ma...]]

Good morning everyone, I'm sure our conductor will be on soon, she's probably having her morning coffee before pulling out the 🚂 ..

 

I managed to sleep a little better last night with minimal head pain. I hope everyone here had a restful , peaceful night's sleep. Wishing you all a wonderful Saturday. I'm going to get my hair done in a few hours..a little distraction from everything and a new hairstyle and maybe a slight color change will lift my spirits a little

 

Be well my friend's, see you later here in our room 😘

 

Love to all,

Trish 💞💞

 

Have at least one wild color streak put in, show that wild side Trishy.  I would, if I thought I could sit in that chair long enough   love ya!  Mary 💙💚❤️💜😘

 

[[Ma...]]

Morning LHSG, up and at 'em.  Trishy has the train running and has already made plans to get her hair done.  Damn, I wish I felt that good  😁Hope you all have a decent day, know I love you, try to keep away from the 👽👽👽👽👽👽👽 :laugh:

[[Tr...]]

D, what is the baylissa book and how do I get to it? I'm sitting in the salon with dye on my head and I have some time to read..I took some Advil and am doing ok to read so I'd like to check it out

Love ya girl,

Trish

[[Ma...]]

D, what is the baylissa book and how do I get to it? I'm sitting in the salon with dye on my head and I have some time to read..I took some Advil and am doing ok to read so I'd like to check it out

Love ya girl,

Trish

 

It's on Amazon, put I think she has stuff online you can just read.  Baylissa Frederick

[[es...]]

It is on Amazon. I have it. There are two. Benzo Free is the one to get first. Esperanza

[[Ma...]]

It is on Amazon. I have it. There are two. Benzo Free is the one to get first. Esperanza

 

HeyCuz, how are you?

[[es...]]

Gilly, really appreciate that post! Tom back tomorrow and yes, I am very proud of him. He is the kind of doctor that doctors should be. Also, he is the kind of husband, father, grandfather, and human being that every man should be. I am lucky. Esperanza

[[Ma...]]

Gilly, really appreciate that post! Tom back tomorrow and yes, I am very proud of him. He is the kind of doctor that doctors should be. Also, he is the kind of husband, father, grandfather, and human being that every man should be. I am lucky. Esperanza

 

Yes you are 💚🍀

[[4G...]]

Oh, Esperanza, I'm so pleased for you that your Tom is such a brilliant support and a lovely, kind man. I wonder how many psychiatrists would give up a week of their time to help others?

 

Sending Love and Big Hugs.  Gilly xxx 💟💟💟

[[4G...]]

Hi Everyone. I would win gold in the Olympic sleeping event! I was working so hard to make things nice for Rebecca. And I'm so glad I did, but now I need a lazy day so I'm still in my pyjamas watching tv with Dave. I'm pleased how things worked out when Dave was away. I actually enjoyed having the house to myself before Rebecca arrived. Still feeling okay. Don't want to spoil it by starting to cut again. So I'm not cutting yet.

 

Lots of Love and Hugs.  Gilly xxx 💟💟💟

[[4G...]]

Trishy, good for you having your hair done. I hope you like it. I cut mine yesterday. I can't see round the back so I'll have to get Dave to check it. It's better than it was!

Love, English xxx 💟💟💟

[[Tr...]]

Trishy, good for you having your hair done. I hope you like it. I cut mine yesterday. I can't see round the back so I'll have to get Dave to check it. It's better than it was!

Love, English xxx 💟💟💟

 

Hi English, yes I like my cut and color, I went from being a beige/blonde with hair a few inches past my shoulders to shoulder length dark strawberry blonde .. My hubby loves it too! I swear Everytime I change it up he thinks he's got a girlfriend 😂...nah Rich is a very good man who came home from work with flowers for me bc he felt so bad for all that I went through this week. I know you ladies talk about your good husbands but Rich is in the top ten so we need to add this guy to the list, he gives me whatever I want and is an easy going patient, quiet guy. He's always treated me like gold and I'm so grateful for him. I don't think any other man could tolerate all my anxiety issues.. But I guess it's a two way street, I saw him through 17 yrs of alcoholism many years ago and I know he's grateful I didn't leave him. Anyway enough of that ramble? 😂😂.. So how's your cut English, do you like it? Tell us what your hair looks like! 😁

[[4G...]]

Trishy, Rich sounds like a great guy. He must appreciate the help you gave him and now supports you. We should have something like the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame for fantastic husbands and boyfriends. It would show how much we appreciate them.

 

Oh, my hair is in a very dodgy bob. I can do the fringe but struggle otherwise. I can't go to the hairdressers yet, but think that will come along eventually. I dyed it yesterday. I used to dye it blonde until I was picking out a wig for during my chemotherapy. I tried some brunette wigs and they suited me more. So now I do it that colour.

 

How are you today?  Love and Hugs.  English xxx 💟💟💟

[[Tr...]]

Trishy, Rich sounds like a great guy. He must appreciate the help you gave him and now supports you. We should have something like the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame for fantastic husbands and boyfriends. It would show how much we appreciate them.

 

Oh, my hair is in a very dodgy bob. I can do the fringe but struggle otherwise. I can't go to the hairdressers yet, but think that will come along eventually. I dyed it yesterday. I used to dye it blonde until I was picking out a wig for during my chemotherapy. I tried some brunette wigs and they suited me more. So now I do it that colour.

 

How are you today?  Love and Hugs.  English xxx 💟💟💟

Oh my goodness English I'm PISSED PISSSED PISSED!!! I'm reading Baylissa Fredericks  With Hope In My Heart: A Memoir and I got to the part where she mentions that a Dr told her that she'd have to take her benzo for the rest of her life because he knew it was easier to keep her on it knowing full well it would destroy her then to try and take her off of it! I was told the same damn thing by my former Dr. He told me I'd have to take my Xanax for the rest of my life! Then one day out of the blue he tells me on a routine visit that I had to come off of it and he was giving me 6 weeks to do it!! Her story is so far very relatable and also terrifying bc this story is not just hers , it's all of ours too  ((

I haven't read very far yet but a lot of what's happening to her from the drug is beginning to make me wonder about my own physical health through the years on Xanax , and if a lot of my memory issues and physical ailments are from Xanax and not other causes... So very sad. I'm anxious to read on , it's a good read so far but heartbreaking.

 

English I didn't know you had cancer, I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you are well now, what happened to you? If it's too personal a question I completely understand if you don't answer it. My only concern is that you are well now.

 

Love to you dear friend,

Trish

 

 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Hey everyone, I had a migraine come on like a freight train, a bad one.  Not gone but not as bad.  With all the eye stuff, I have been expecting one for awhile .

I'm so jealous everyone got their hair done.  I will do my soon, you have to be sure you don't get any thing in your eye for a few weeks  . I look like crap

I'm so happy to hear you all sound so cheerful, does my heart good.  I knew those aliens were working good medical procedures on you👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽

Love you all so much 🐕🐾🐾🐾🐾.  🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀.  😘😘😘😘😘.  ❤️💜💚💙.  🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[[Tr...]]

D, what is the baylissa book and how do I get to it? I'm sitting in the salon with dye on my head and I have some time to read..I took some Advil and am doing ok to read so I'd like to check it out

Love ya girl,

Trish

 

It's on Amazon, put I think she has stuff online you can just read.  Baylissa Frederick

 

Hi sweet D, I'm reading one of the books now, I posted a comment about it to English in one of my posts to her.. It's making me think a lot about what's happened to me through the years.. And it pissed me off thinking back on what my former Dr did to me , it does bring up some old wounds for me and I'm sure it is for anyone reading her story and fighting this battle.

 

Hope you had a good day..

 

Love you lady,

Dumb and getting dumber by the minute

[[Ma...]]

D, what is the baylissa book and how do I get to it? I'm sitting in the salon with dye on my head and I have some time to read..I took some Advil and am doing ok to read so I'd like to check it out

Love ya girl,

Trish

 

It's on Amazon, put I think she has stuff online you can just read.  Baylissa Frederick

 

Hi sweet D, I'm reading one of the books now, I posted a comment about it to English in one of my posts to her.. It's making me think a lot about what's happened to me through the years.. And it pissed me off thinking back on what my former Dr did to me , it does bring up some old wounds for me and I'm sure it is for anyone reading her story and fighting this battle.

 

Hope you had a good day..

 

Love you lady,

Dumb and getting dumber by the minute

 

I read so much about benzo's and different books for awhile, I got tired of reading them.  So I actually forgot I had the book everyone was talking about.  So I went to buy it and Amazon said I already purchased it . So I read some yesterday, during her third taper she really began to believe all the horrible crap we go through is our brains trying to figure out how to heal. So she would tell herself over and over when going through rough symptoms.  I am going to put more effort into that when I am feeling really bad. 

[[Tr...]]

D, what is the baylissa book and how do I get to it? I'm sitting in the salon with dye on my head and I have some time to read..I took some Advil and am doing ok to read so I'd like to check it out

Love ya girl,

Trish

wait D, she went through benzo wd 3 times?? I didn't read that.. Why 3 times? 

 

It's on Amazon, put I think she has stuff online you can just read.  Baylissa Frederick

 

Hi sweet D, I'm reading one of the books now, I posted a comment about it to English in one of my posts to her.. It's making me think a lot about what's happened to me through the years.. And it pissed me off thinking back on what my former Dr did to me , it does bring up some old wounds for me and I'm sure it is for anyone reading her story and fighting this battle.

 

Hope you had a good day..

 

Love you lady,

Dumb and getting dumber by the minute

 

I read so much about benzo's and different books for awhile, I got tired of reading them.  So I actually forgot I had the book everyone was talking about.  So I went to buy it and Amazon said I already purchased it . So I read some yesterday, during her third taper she really began to believe all the horrible crap we go through is our brains trying to figure out how to heal. So she would tell herself over and over when going through rough symptoms.  I am going to put more effort into that when I am feeling really bad. 

[[Ma...]]

D, what is the baylissa book and how do I get to it? I'm sitting in the salon with dye on my head and I have some time to read..I took some Advil and am doing ok to read so I'd like to check it out

Love ya girl,

Trish

wait D, she went through benzo wd 3 times?? I didn't read that.. Why 3 times? 

 

It's on Amazon, put I think she has stuff online you can just read.  Baylissa Frederick

 

Hi sweet D, I'm reading one of the books now, I posted a comment about it to English in one of my posts to her.. It's making me think a lot about what's happened to me through the years.. And it pissed me off thinking back on what my former Dr did to me , it does bring up some old wounds for me and I'm sure it is for anyone reading her story and fighting this battle.

 

Hope you had a good day..

 

Love you lady,

Dumb and getting dumber by the minute

 

I read so much about benzo's and different books for awhile, I got tired of reading them.  So I actually forgot I had the book everyone was talking about.  So I went to buy it and Amazon said I already purchased it . So I read some yesterday, during her third taper she really began to believe all the horrible crap we go through is our brains trying to figure out how to heal. So she would tell herself over and over when going through rough symptoms.  I am going to put more effort into that when I am feeling really bad. 

 

She did the same things we all did, not enough knowledge, then finally stumbling across Ashton, having to slow that down.  All the mistakes we made, I think she had been on and off a bunch of ads.

Then she slowed it all down, accepted she was going to feel like crap and crawled off.  She went through absolute hell.  Bedridden, could not walk, hell.  Just kept telling herself, her brain was trying to find its own way to heal.  And now look at her, WOW

[[Tr...]]

D, what is the baylissa book and how do I get to it? I'm sitting in the salon with dye on my head and I have some time to read..I took some Advil and am doing ok to read so I'd like to check it out

Love ya girl,

Trish

wait D, she went through benzo wd 3 times?? I didn't read that.. Why 3 times? 

 

It's on Amazon, put I think she has stuff online you can just read.  Baylissa Frederick

 

Hi sweet D, I'm reading one of the books now, I posted a comment about it to English in one of my posts to her.. It's making me think a lot about what's happened to me through the years.. And it pissed me off thinking back on what my former Dr did to me , it does bring up some old wounds for me and I'm sure it is for anyone reading her story and fighting this battle.

 

Hope you had a good day..

 

Love you lady,

Dumb and getting dumber by the minute

 

I read so much about benzo's and different books for awhile, I got tired of reading them.  So I actually forgot I had the book everyone was talking about.  So I went to buy it and Amazon said I already purchased it . So I read some yesterday, during her third taper she really began to believe all the horrible crap we go through is our brains trying to figure out how to heal. So she would tell herself over and over when going through rough symptoms.  I am going to put more effort into that when I am feeling really bad. 

 

She did the same things we all did, not enough knowledge, then finally stumbling across Ashton, having to slow that down.  All the mistakes we made, I think she had been on and off a bunch of ads.

Then she slowed it all down, accepted she was going to feel like crap and crawled off.  She went through absolute hell.  Bedridden, could not walk, hell.  Just kept telling herself, her brain was trying to find its own way to heal.  And now look at her, WOW

I can't help but see myself in her story on her pages. I'm only on chapter 7 of this book she wrote and I feel like I'm reading about myself and all of us and in a sense I am. What's eye opening to me is what I hadn't put together in my own life that I'm just now for the first time piecing together. I thought I was getting early Alzheimer's, all the memory issues , feeling disconnected from people and the feeling of being on a foreign planet ,which I still get and it scares the hell out of me, joint pain with no explanation, vision problems, increased anxiety and panic attacks, depression all this and so much more and never once in all the years I have been on the drug did I ever associate those symptoms and sensations and feelings with my benzo. It's like I was in a coma and have woken up to a world I'm not familiar with and trying to fit into it, like a square peg in a round hole. I just keep reading and saying oh my god, oh my god, me too, me too...I feel like the veil was lifted , how did I not realize that it was the benzo?? If my then Dr didn't throw me off I'd still be taking my 2 mgs of Xanax having all these symptoms and never know it was the xanax causing it all, .. Wow!

[[Tr...]]

Also D, there was a time I was on 3mgs and only tapered down on my own bc I thought that I didn't need so much Xanax! I went slow tapering only because I knew I could have a seizure if I went down too fast, little did I know that there was way more to be afraid of than just that.. Like you said not enough knowledge, how sad..