Accidental cut and updose! Help?

[[...]]

I am sorry I was offline for a day - had too much going on.  When I logged in, my heart sank for you.

 

I looked up belladonna on google and it is a scary thing - in the nightshade family.  Thank God you and you husband reasoned it out.

 

The powdered/benzo mix should not be causing such powerful issues.  I know many people who forget a pill for a few hours and had much less impact.

 

Yes, get stable and try again.

 

Remember, when you try it, your brain is going to attack you with fear (anxiety) because you are doing something different.  Get on youtube and really dig into calm meditation things. 

 

I wonder if you should only do the gel capsules at bed with 1/2 Benadryl for the first few days?  This might teach your brain everything is fine.  You don't want your brain to build anxiety and give you symptoms.

[[Ho...]]

Oh, my new friends, it got much worse.

 

I didn’t sleep much last night but I don’t panic over that, knowing what this all was calmed me somewhat. I woke up feeling sickly but got up, got ready, got my son ready and then heart rate sky rocketed, blood pressure sky rocketed, vomiting, just felt SO AWFUL. I laid down, took a Benadryl. An hour passed and the Benadryl calmed scary symptoms. Still feeling terrible all day but calmed heart rate, able to eat and drink. Benadryl wearing off this afternoon and noticing symptoms kicking up so that’s a little scary.

 

I hate the thought of continuing Benadryl as needed for the reaction but not sure I have an option.

 

My doctor said when I got those drops that they were “like water.” Yeah well I was slowly poisoning myself. Can’t be mad at him, he didn’t know. I give everyone grace.

 

I was very scared. I thought I was going to have to go to the ER - lord knows they would want to give benzos.

 

Praise be to Jesus Christ for my husbands eye opening last night to the issue or I would have absolutely freaked out this morning.

 

I will no longer trust anything that goes into or on my body - even homeopathic! This has been absolutely terrifying and explains why my body did not do okay with the filler. It had something else it was dealing with!

 

If y’all pray, please say a prayer for a quick recovery from this.

 

Thank you so much for being here for me - it makes so much more sense now and gives me hope once I’m stable that I can try the filler again.

 

I’m prepared for the fear, anxiety of a change in how I dose. I know that the only way down to zero, I have to do something.

 

With the chemical anxiety from all of this with the belladonna, I just think my body could not handle it at the moment.

 

I will keep you updated. Thanks again!

 

Thanks so much for the update.

 

I know this process is extremely frustrating when we're trying to determine what is causing these symptoms. I have seen people on here having reactions to the most obscure things, so I would never rule anything out. I have also seen people who were fine with meds, food and supplements the one day, only to have a reaction the next.

 

One of our members on the forum here is having a severe setback from a steroid nasal spray withdrawal. One thing I would say, is you know your body best. Trust your gut instinct.

 

And another thing - YOU WILL BEAT THIS! We are here to listen and support. You are not alone. 

 

 

I am sorry I was offline for a day - had too much going on.  When I logged in, my heart sank for you.

 

I looked up belladonna on google and it is a scary thing - in the nightshade family.  Thank God you and you husband reasoned it out.

 

The powdered/benzo mix should not be causing such powerful issues.  I know many people who forget a pill for a few hours and had much less impact.

 

Yes, get stable and try again.

 

Remember, when you try it, your brain is going to attack you with fear (anxiety) because you are doing something different.  Get on youtube and really dig into calm meditation things. 

 

I wonder if you should only do the gel capsules at bed with 1/2 Benadryl for the first few days?  This might teach your brain everything is fine.  You don't want your brain to build anxiety and give you symptoms.

[[...]]

Yes, I do pray and so I will pray for you in Jesus name.

 

All this talk about using Benadryl made me google it.  I quickly found this:

Benadryl misuse side effects include anxiety, increased heart rate, memory loss, and seizures. Although withdrawal symptoms of Benadryl are minor compared to harder drugs, you may experience cold sweats, nausea, or diarrhea when stopping the drug suddenly.

 

Since you say you are sensitive to everything, I wonder now about Benadryl and your body.

 

So now I am thinking, before trying the taper method again, perhaps you should get stable with your current method but, with no Benadryl for 3 to 5 days to see if you are having Benadryl withdrawals?

[[Ho...]]

Yes, I do pray and so I will pray for you in Jesus name.

 

All this talk about using Benadryl made me google it.  I quickly found this:

Benadryl misuse side effects include anxiety, increased heart rate, memory loss, and seizures. Although withdrawal symptoms of Benadryl are minor compared to harder drugs, you may experience cold sweats, nausea, or diarrhea when stopping the drug suddenly.

 

Since you say you are sensitive to everything, I wonder now about Benadryl and your body.

 

So now I am thinking, before trying the taper method again, perhaps you should get stable with your current method but, with no Benadryl for 3 to 5 days to see if you are having Benadryl withdrawals?

 

Thank you so much for the prayers, Bob!

 

Oh wow, that’s a good idea. Make sure I’m completely stable and back to normal before switch. I haven’t taken another Benadryl today, just trying to avoid it unless absolutely necessary.

 

I have some chemical anxiety but nothing I can’t handle. The eye symptoms are still pretty brutal but trying stay calm about that and pray it passes.

[[je...]]

Hi HopeForTomorrow

 

I'm just checking in to see how you're doing and if you're feeling better?

[[Ho...]]

Hi HopeForTomorrow

 

I'm just checking in to see how you're doing and if you're feeling better?

 

Hi Jelly!

 

So so kind of you. The reaction is fading - I’m not leaning on Benadryl to survive anymore. I am back to pills and realizing how inaccurate my dosing is so trying to find a way to stabilize. Yesterday mornings dose felt way too low - by noon I was miserable. Then the afternoon and evening dose I felt drugged. So something is definitely off.

 

I am talking to my doctor today to see about a compound. If that does not go well, I will try my own compounded pills again.

 

Praying for clarity on a new way to dose that works at this point. I will keep you updated.

 

Thank you so much for checking in!

[[je...]]

I'm happy to hear the reaction is getting better. At least now we know it wasn't the filler or capsules.

 

I really hope your doctor can assist with compounding pills. I know a couple of members who have gone this route. This will probably put you at ease and take a lot of the hard work out of your hands.

 

Please keep us updated! 

[[Ho...]]

I'm happy to hear the reaction is getting better. At least now we know it wasn't the filler or capsules.

 

I really hope your doctor can assist with compounding pills. I know a couple of members who have gone this route. This will probably put you at ease and take a lot of the hard work out of your hands.

 

Please keep us updated! 

 

Yes, I do pray and so I will pray for you in Jesus name.

 

All this talk about using Benadryl made me google it.  I quickly found this:

Benadryl misuse side effects include anxiety, increased heart rate, memory loss, and seizures. Although withdrawal symptoms of Benadryl are minor compared to harder drugs, you may experience cold sweats, nausea, or diarrhea when stopping the drug suddenly.

 

Since you say you are sensitive to everything, I wonder now about Benadryl and your body.

 

So now I am thinking, before trying the taper method again, perhaps you should get stable with your current method but, with no Benadryl for 3 to 5 days to see if you are having Benadryl withdrawals?

 

Hi Jelly and Bob!

 

I’m a week on the liquid and just having a very hard time. I don’t know why, I seem to be the only one that has this hard of a time. The liquid feels stimulating and I’m having horrific physical symptoms throughout the day. And insomnia pretty badly.

 

Has anyone ever bought a lab grade scale and tapered that way down to zero? My pill weighs .05grams average and I’m at .006grams 3 times a day. I’d like to go down to .001grams, 3 times a day. I would obviously have to crush and weigh but is that possible with a lab scale? Willing to pay the money if so.

 

I loved the process of capsules but the weight fluctuated a lot, the pill powder and filler was the same color and it scared me that I wasn’t getting accurate dosing.

[[...]]

I've never looked for a laboratory grade scale mostly because I believe it wouldn't help too much.

If I recall correctly even breathing on your scale changes the rating and that would happen on the cheap scales or the laboratory scales.

When you said you tried the liquid method was that the one is that from the video I gave you you were they just just use water instead of a little bit of alcohol to dissolve the pill?

 

 

[[Ho...]]

I've never looked for a laboratory grade scale mostly because I believe it wouldn't help too much.

If I recall correctly even breathing on your scale changes the rating and that would happen on the cheap scales or the laboratory scales.

When you said you tried the liquid method was that the one is that from the video I gave you you were they just just use water instead of a little bit of alcohol to dissolve the pill?

 

Yes! Alcohol then water. 100ml total. I had a friend who was successful doing it show me. It seemed to have a stimulating affect too.

 

The only time I haven’t had a stimulating affect with liquid is once when I updosed from .201mg to .225mg to transition (only to go back to pills) and then another when I felt doped up (assuming that compound was wrong because it settled into a jelly in 2 days - horrible pharmacy).

 

 

[[Ho...]]

I've never looked for a laboratory grade scale mostly because I believe it wouldn't help too much.

If I recall correctly even breathing on your scale changes the rating and that would happen on the cheap scales or the laboratory scales.

When you said you tried the liquid method was that the one is that from the video I gave you you were they just just use water instead of a little bit of alcohol to dissolve the pill?

 

My pharmacy said they could do capsules with microcrystalline. Is it safe to trust them instead of myself?

[[Ho...]]

I'm happy to hear the reaction is getting better. At least now we know it wasn't the filler or capsules.

 

I really hope your doctor can assist with compounding pills. I know a couple of members who have gone this route. This will probably put you at ease and take a lot of the hard work out of your hands.

 

Please keep us updated! 

I've never looked for a laboratory grade scale mostly because I believe it wouldn't help too much.

If I recall correctly even breathing on your scale changes the rating and that would happen on the cheap scales or the laboratory scales.

When you said you tried the liquid method was that the one is that from the video I gave you you were they just just use water instead of a little bit of alcohol to dissolve the pill?

 

Hi Jelly and Bob!

 

Well, after 8 days of liquid compound, I gradually got sicker and sicker. Each dose felt like I was adding poison to my body - I swear it was similar to the Belladonna eye drop reaction.

 

It came to a head yesterday and I switched back to weighing pills last night. I had lots of adjustments once I took the pill and also today have come down with a cold of some sorts.

 

My question is - my compound pharmacy said they can do compound capsules for me. With pure lorazepam, microcrystalline cellulose and a tiny bit of dye to endure it’s mixed well.

 

I asked if every single dose will be the exact same - they said they get it as close as possible but there can be a slight variation due to weighing.

 

Bob, I remember you saying don’t worry about +- .006 grams when I tried it myself - is that what they mean by slight variation?

 

Another thing, How would I cut?

.06mg, .06mg, .06mg

.06mg, .05mg, .06mg

.05mg, .05mg, .06mg

.05mg, .05mg, .05mg

 

And so on?

My doctor has to tell the pharmacy with each refill what to do it at so I have to be specific.

 

I’m just so nervous for another fail. This is my absolute last option before I have to just dry cut and hope my tiny scale works and withdrawal is bearable.

 

Also, I am going to wait until probably Monday to try and stabilize on pills, hopefully reaction to liquid passes and sickness subsides.

 

[[...]]

Dear HopeForTomorrow,

 

We must have a mix up.  Weighing 0.006 grams is your entire weight for a dose of 0.06mg.  So it is important.  The scale will fluctuate 0.002 grams or more so this is a problem.

 

The core of the problem is Lorazepam is such a light weight pill.  If you were on Klonopin which weighs 0.17 grams, the scale would be easier to use.

 

Therefore, for this light weight pill, we tried liquid tapering.  But that is not working. Are you sure you do not have other stress factors in your life (including being worried about your taper method) such that your anxiety is up and creating all this trauma?

 

You are one of the few people who have this blessing to get a pharmacy do the work for you.

 

I am not sure what they mean by a slight variation but we must trust they can do a much better job than we can ever do.

 

Please, jump at this chance.  At least try it.  Let us all know how it works out.

[[Ho...]]

Dear HopeForTomorrow,

 

We must have a mix up.  Weighing 0.006 grams is your entire weight for a dose of 0.06mg.  So it is important.  The scale will fluctuate 0.002 grams or more so this is a problem.

 

The core of the problem is Lorazepam is such a light weight pill.  If you were on Klonopin which weighs 0.17 grams, the scale would be easier to use.

 

Therefore, for this light weight pill, we tried liquid tapering.  But that is not working. Are you sure you do not have other stress factors in your life (including being worried about your taper method) such that your anxiety is up and creating all this trauma?

 

You are one of the few people who have this blessing to get a pharmacy do the work for you.

 

I am not sure what they mean by a slight variation but we must trust they can do a much better job than we can ever do.

 

Please, jump at this chance.  At least try it.  Let us all know how it works out.

 

I WISH the reactions were just anxiety or additional stressors. I couldn’t lift my head, could hardly open my eyes. Just felt like poison after each dose. I’m not sure why, unless I reacted to alcohol.

 

With the pharmacy - Another thing, How would I cut?

My doctor has to tell the pharmacy with each refill what to do it at so I have to be specific. My first prescription is .06mg 3 times a day. But once I stabilize, how do I ask for the refill? I would like to do 5% a month…

 

Should I do a cut and hold or ask them to do 5% microtaper for the month? My doctor would have to say specifically on the prescription (example - first week: .059mg 3 times a day. Second week: .058mg 3 times a day. Third week: .057mg 3 times a day. 4th week: same, hold here) - is it safe to cut .003 the first 3 weeks, hold the 4th week? To keep it at 5% a month the whole way down? I’m having trouble with the math. Or will that be a higher percentage once I get lower?

 

If so, I could just cut and hold and have the doctor do several prescriptions for each month - at a 5% cut and hold until the next month.

 

I’m just so nervous for another fail. This is my absolute last option or I have to dry cut down and you know that would be extremely tough.

[[...]]

I think your most reliable and safest approach is to let your doctor tell  the pharmacy as follows.

 

For the 1st month start at 0.06mg threes times a day and then let the pharmacy compute each future month as a 5 percent reduction. 

[[je...]]

Hi HopeForTomorrow

 

Apologies for my late reply, I've been struck down with Covid and not very functional.

 

I'm very sorry to hear the liquid crossover didn’t work. Please don't see it as a failure. I think it says much more about your character and the ability to take risks in the face of adversity. We have to try these things otherwise we'll always think "what if". Now you've eliminated this option- you haven't failed.

 

I think if your pharmacist can make the pills for you it will take a lot of frustration and guessing out of it. I like your idea of reducing 0.003 per week for the first three weeks and holding week 4. Your maths are correct as this will be a 5% reduction over the month.

 

Maybe try this for the first month then revise based on symptoms. Please let us know how things are going. You are so close to the end!!