Accidental cut and updose! Help?

[[...]]

I worked on the math.

 

Crush 3 of your pills in a bowl with a metal spoon.

Add 10 grams of the powder

Mix well

Fill each capsule with 0.406 grams of the mixture.

 

You should be able to make 25 capsules but in practice, stuff spills, but try to get at least 21 capsules with 0.406 grams in each.

 

Each capsule will have 0.06 mg of drug so if you make 21 of them, you will have 1 week of capsules if take 3 a day.

 

[[Ho...]]

I worked on the math.

 

Crush 3 of your pills in a bowl with a metal spoon.

Add 10 grams of the powder

Mix well

Fill each capsule with 0.406 grams of the mixture.

 

You should be able to make 25 capsules but in practice, stuff spills, but try to get at least 21 capsules with 0.406 grams in each.

 

Each capsule will have 0.06 mg of drug so if you make 21 of them, you will have 1 week of capsules if take 3 a day.

 

Perfect! Thank you SO much. I’m a corporate finance person but my brain is just not working with this.

 

This is a great start. And then when I’m ready to start cutting, can you help with that math?

 

I’m so sorry to bother.

[[...]]

Yes I will help you with all the math you need throughout your taper.

[[Ho...]]

Yes I will help you with all the math you need throughout your taper.

 

Bob, my filler should be in soon but I have hit another horrible mess of symptoms and flipped out if stability. I weighed Sunday and gradually got worse throughout the week. The obvious thought is that weighing these small doses is inaccurate.

 

I do have a question for you. When I weigh a single .5mg pill, sometimes it fluctuates from .049g-.052g. When I do the average, it’s .0508g. Will these fluctuations happen when I weigh the filler? It’s killed my confidence with weighing since it seems it fluctuates so much.

 

Like when I weigh .406g, it’s it going to fluctuate from .401-409 or no since it’s much heavier?

 

I just think my brain is desperate for stability right now and I’m hoping using fillers will get me there with confidence.

 

Thank you!

[[...]]

You will be much more happy with the filler.

 

Most often, the problem you are seeing with a pill on a scale varying 0.049 to 0.052 is not the pill, but the scale has trouble measuring to three digits.

 

Therefore, we add filler so a variation of 0.003 grams on the scale has less variation on your drug concentration (less error).

 

For example:

 

Without filler, when you try to measure out your 0.06 mg dose, you need to weigh 0.006 grams on the scale.  But if the scale varies 0.003 grams, the error is 50%

 

But if you mix in filler with your 0.06mg dose so the weight on the scale is 0.4 grams, the variation of 0.003 grams is only 0.8%.

 

[[Ho...]]

You will be much more happy with the filler.

 

Most often, the problem you are seeing with a pill on a scale varying 0.049 to 0.052 is not the pill, but the scale has trouble measuring to three digits.

 

Therefore, we add filler so a variation of 0.003 grams on the scale has less variation on your drug concentration (less error).

 

For example:

 

Without filler, when you try to measure out your 0.06 mg dose, you need to weigh 0.006 grams on the scale.  But if the scale varies 0.003 grams, the error is 50%

 

But if you mix in filler with your 0.06mg dose so the weight on the scale is 0.4 grams, the variation of 0.003 grams is only 0.8%.

 

This makes so much sense as to why I keep having these awful symptoms. It’s so up and down, I cannot wait to get the filler in.

 

Hoping and praying it will get me to stability and make this taper bearable, sheesh!

 

Thank you so much Bob!

[[...]]

One more thing.

Never underestimate how variations in life (stress, events, holiday, work) can create symptoms which look like benzo issues.

If you journal your life each day (amount of drug, your symptoms, your life events), you might learn that some of these "bad benzo days" are in part due to stress in life.  Then, when you blame the benzo withdrawal, you get discouraged.

So try hard to reduce life anxiety.  Exercise, meditation, yoga, hobbies,  DISTRACT YOUR BRAIN.

 

[[Ho...]]

One more thing.

Never underestimate how variations in life (stress, events, holiday, work) can create symptoms which look like benzo issues.

If you journal your life each day (amount of drug, your symptoms, your life events), you might learn that some of these "bad benzo days" are in part due to stress in life.  Then, when you blame the benzo withdrawal, you get discouraged.

So try hard to reduce life anxiety.  Exercise, meditation, yoga, hobbies,  DISTRACT YOUR BRAIN.

 

I totally agree stress can contribute. For me, if I’m not confident in my dosing, I second guess everything and it makes it horrid.

 

Right now, im reweighing pills from this week and they are impossible to get accurate. Im trying to get them as close to .006g a piece as I can but it will weigh .006g twice then the next one it’s .005g so I don’t know what to trust.

 

I would pay hundreds of dollars to have the filler right now honestly. It’s ETA is Monday and I’m praying that’s what I need at this point.

[[...]]

One more thing.

Never underestimate how variations in life (stress, events, holiday, work) can create symptoms which look like benzo issues.

If you journal your life each day (amount of drug, your symptoms, your life events), you might learn that some of these "bad benzo days" are in part due to stress in life.  Then, when you blame the benzo withdrawal, you get discouraged.

So try hard to reduce life anxiety.  Exercise, meditation, yoga, hobbies,  DISTRACT YOUR BRAIN.

 

I totally agree stress can contribute. For me, if I’m not confident in my dosing, I second guess everything and it makes it horrid.

 

Right now, im reweighing pills from this week and they are impossible to get accurate. Im trying to get them as close to .006g a piece as I can but it will weigh .006g twice then the next one it’s .005g so I don’t know what to trust.

 

I would pay hundreds of dollars to have the filler right now honestly. It’s ETA is Monday and I’m praying that’s what I need at this point.

While you wait for the filler, you can do better by weighing 0.018 grams and then use a razor blade to eyeball separate into 3 piles for your 3 doses.  Take those 3 doses for the day.  One  pile might be larger and one might be smaller but your total for the day will be close to 0.018.

You will have less error weighing 0.018 grams one time versus trying to weight 0.006 three different times.

 

[[Ho...]]

Bob, I made a mistake. I ordered 0 size capsules instead of 000. I can get 00 same day delivery today. The earliest I can get 000 is tomorrow and I just don’t know if I can wait. I’m so unstable and in bad shape.

 

Would .406g fit in size 00 if I do the same day order?

[[Ho...]]

One more thing.

Never underestimate how variations in life (stress, events, holiday, work) can create symptoms which look like benzo issues.

If you journal your life each day (amount of drug, your symptoms, your life events), you might learn that some of these "bad benzo days" are in part due to stress in life.  Then, when you blame the benzo withdrawal, you get discouraged.

So try hard to reduce life anxiety.  Exercise, meditation, yoga, hobbies,  DISTRACT YOUR BRAIN.

 

I totally agree stress can contribute. For me, if I’m not confident in my dosing, I second guess everything and it makes it horrid.

 

Right now, im reweighing pills from this week and they are impossible to get accurate. Im trying to get them as close to .006g a piece as I can but it will weigh .006g twice then the next one it’s .005g so I don’t know what to trust.

 

I would pay hundreds of dollars to have the filler right now honestly. It’s ETA is Monday and I’m praying that’s what I need at this point.

While you wait for the filler, you can do better by weighing 0.018 grams and then use a razor blade to eyeball separate into 3 piles for your 3 doses.  Take those 3 doses for the day.  One  pile might be larger and one might be smaller but your total for the day will be close to 0.018.

You will have less error weighing 0.018 grams one time versus trying to weight 0.006 three different times.

 

Actually, I have a friend who has size 00 capsules she used for essential oils so she’s going to give me some.

 

Do you think that will work for now? Size 000 capsules will be here tomorrow.

[[...]]

Well it was 3 years ago when I was filling my capsules so I may not recall correctly but I think 0.406 grams filled the larger half of the 000 size capsule.  Then it was an easy task to place the smaller empty top onto the full bottom.

 

I imagine if you get a small capsule, you will need to fill each half before attaching them together.  That would be hard as you need to add little bits into the capsule to get the weight.

 

Special note.  Do not worry about getting them filled exactly at 0.406 grams.  Because everything is diluted by the powder, you can be safe with 0.400 to 0.410.

[[Ho...]]

Well it was 3 years ago when I was filling my capsules so I may not recall correctly but I think 0.406 grams filled the larger half of the 000 size capsule.  Then it was an easy task to place the smaller empty top onto the full bottom.

 

I imagine if you get a small capsule, you will need to fill each half before attaching them together.  That would be hard as you need to add little bits into the capsule to get the weight.

 

Special note.  Do not worry about getting them filled exactly at 0.406 grams.  Because everything is diluted by the powder, you can be safe with 0.400 to 0.410.

 

I will try to see how much it weighs when the powder comes in and I have the 00 capsules. Im hoping it works but if not, I’ll let you know.. So as long as it weighs anywhere from .40-.410g im safe? That’s good to know because these scales fluctuate by the .001g and that’s stressful. Especially with these small crumbs!

 

Right now,, im sitting here trying to weigh my pills in the event the powder doesn’t work today. Not only does the full pill vary from .049g-.051g but the small pill varies from .005g-.008g. I tried to weigh 3 at a time, it gets me to .021g which is .07mg instead of what I think im at .06mg 3 times a day. But other times it’s at .023g or .02g. It is very confusing.

 

I have sat here for an hour and can’t get accurate readings on 3 pills or 1 pill. Do you have any suggestions?

 

New, very troublesome symptoms popped up over the last couple of weeks that have reached a head on severity  (since I made the initial weighing error) and Im thinking it’s due to inaccurate dosing.

 

Do you think once I get accurate dosing with filler, this will all calm down? Im a bit worried.

[[...]]

Two things will help you feel better.

(1) More accurate dosing

(2) Any type of meditation or exercise.  Even better, make a goal and then feel the rush when you finish it.  It can be asny goal - like clean the most dirty object or area in the house.  Just plan a goal and finish it.  Get your mind off benzos.

 

[[Ho...]]

Two things will help you feel better.

(1) More accurate dosing

(2) Any type of meditation or exercise.  Even better, make a goal and then feel the rush when you finish it.  It can be asny goal - like clean the most dirty object or area in the house.  Just plan a goal and finish it.  Get your mind off benzos.

 

Thank you so much Bob! I’m usually very good at 2. I am the “fake it until you make it” type of person But this new added symptom has completely thrown me for a loop. I also have a TON of physical/chemical panic on top of it which makes it harder to distract.

 

I’ve been trying to do what I can with my son, meditate, distract. I think I’ll feel better mentally once I’m confident in dosing, as well.

 

Thank you so much for your help.

[[Ho...]]

Two things will help you feel better.

(1) More accurate dosing

(2) Any type of meditation or exercise.  Even better, make a goal and then feel the rush when you finish it.  It can be asny goal - like clean the most dirty object or area in the house.  Just plan a goal and finish it.  Get your mind off benzos.

 

Hi Bob!

 

I got my filler in today. I weighted this morning and got about 23 capsules. I think I could've gotten 24 but didn't want to use the last little bit.

 

Question - when weighing the filler along, you put the measuring cup on the scale, tare and then measure the microcrystalline, correct? That's what I did. I couldn't get it exactly at 10 grams but I got it pretty close. I measured twice out of fear LOL.

 

I crushed the tablets with a steele mortar and pestle - they crushed well into a fine powder. I was a little worried about any miniscule pieces of powder on the spoon or pestle - I'm being too analytical probably, right?

 

I then mixed the microcrystalline with the pill powder. I didn't love that both were white but I just stirred like crazy. I also stirred between each capsule weighing. I wasn't able to use the tweezers, the capsule kept slipping so I just used my finger to hold and scoop and then spatula if I needed to add or remove.

 

Did I do everything correctly?

 

Thank you SO much for your help!

[[...]]

I am proud of you.  You did everything perfectly.

 

Yes, when measuring the powder, I put the cup on the scale and then tare.

 

Just to compare notes, here is how I fill the larger half of the gel capsule.

I drill a hole in a thin piece of wood.

I set the wood on the scale.

I put the large half of the empty gel capsule in the hole.

I tare the scale.

I then remove the gel capsule and add powder and return to the scale to weigh it.  I then use a little scoop to add or remove powder to get the weight I want.

 

I am sure you will have your own method - just do what works and do NOT worry about being super exact.  The powder dilutes everything so I little error in measurement is less significant.  Remember, worries fuel anxiety and it is anxiety which leads to many symptoms. 

[[Ho...]]

I am proud of you.  You did everything perfectly.

 

Yes, when measuring the powder, I put the cup on the scale and then tare.

 

Just to compare notes, here is how I fill the larger half of the gel capsule.

I drill a hole in a thin piece of wood.

I set the wood on the scale.

I put the large half of the empty gel capsule in the hole.

I tare the scale.

I then remove the gel capsule and add powder and return to the scale to weigh it.  I then use a little scoop to add or remove powder to get the weight I want.

 

I am sure you will have your own method - just do what works and do NOT worry about being super exact.  The powder dilutes everything so I little error in measurement is less significant.  Remember, worries fuel anxiety and it is anxiety which leads to many symptoms.

 

Thank you so much Bob! I had a piece of thick cardboard, I cut into a square and made a hole. I think it worked.

 

I will say - I am having some symptoms, I had to go lay down it got pretty scary. I did everything by the book and took my 1:30pm dose of .06mg. At first I had a sense of calm - then I've had 2 waves of doom go over me (almost akathisia-ish), mild GI upset, floating head and depersonalization, chest tightness, shivering and weakness, some panic and almost the feeling of being on "too much" medicine. Maybe I was on a lower dose than I thought because of the weight differential. Am I having a reaction to the gelatin capsules or microcystalline filler or is this just a normal reaction when switching to a different way of dosing?

 

Has anyone else been crazy sensitive and had trouble switching to a new form of dosing? Doesn't help that I was already unstable.

[[...]]

Yes many people have trouble when changing their methods and I think a great part of that is the anxiety which happens from any change of life.

 

I did think of one another thing but it's a long shot.  I use tweezers to control the gel capsules and and never got any of the powder on my fingers.  I have no reason to believe this nor do I have any medical evidence but I'm wondering if touching  crushed benzo powder can be absorbed in your skin?  Perhaps wear goves next time?

 

[[Ho...]]

Yes many people have trouble when changing their methods and I think a great part of that is the anxiety which happens from any change of life.

 

I did think of one another thing but it's a long shot.  I use tweezers to control the gel capsules and and never got any of the powder on my fingers.  I have no reason to believe this nor do I have any medical evidence but I'm wondering if touching  crushed benzo powder can be absorbed in your skin?  Perhaps wear goves next time?

 

I thought it may be anxiety too so I just kept working and distracting. I am now laying in bed with shivers. I just started feeling so off. I was talking to my husband and then forgot words and just went into a complete fog. I walked upstairs to go lay down and had chest pressure and unusual weakness. Once I laid down, I immediately had uncontrollable shivers that will not stop. The symptoms are not increased anxiety from the thought of change.

 

Is there any chance I'm reacting to this filler? I am SO sensitive to everything that it's ridiculous. If so, do I just continue and try to let my body adjust? Still laying here reacting terribly. If it will pass, I may just try 1/2 benadryl to calm it down until my body is used to it?

[[...]]

I do not think it is the filler.  If you take over the counter drugs, you would have noticed the effect. For example:

According to the FDA, Advil, which is one of the brand names for ibuprofen (and made by the Pfizer drug company), contains the following inactive ingredients: Carnauba wax, colloidal silicon dioxide, croscarmellose sodium, hypromellose, lactose, magnesium stearate, microcrystalline cellulose, propylene glycol, titanium dioxide.

 

My doctor really explained chest pains to me.  Anxiety makes your muscles tight all the time.  After days or weeks of this, the muscles get tired and react by giving you pain.  Chest pains of this type are very common. 

 

Therefore, since you have chest pains, I assume your anxiety is much greater than you know for several weeks.

 

When I was at your level in my taper, my doctor gave me buspar and it took the edge off of all my symptoms.  Buspar is NOT a benzo.  It treats anxiety.  After a few weeks on buspar, I felt better and got off of it with no problems and continued my taper.

 

Also, since you are having anxiety, I do not think you are overdosed on your benzo.  Perhaps your are reacting to a long painful time of filling capsules which added to the stress and tired you out?

 

[[je...]]

Hi there HopeForTomorrow!

 

It sounds like you nailed the process and did it pretty much the way I used to. BTW, I used tweezers but I was so clumsy I often got the powder all over me and I did just fine.

 

I think there are a couple of things that might contribute to your increased symptoms. I fully agree with Bob7 on the anxiety. I do think even subconsciously there are many things about this new process you are worried about, plus the added anxiety from not getting your dose accurate prior to this method.

 

You are also likely getting a more accurate dose now which might slightly vary from the inconsistencies before and since you mentioned you are very sensitive, I think this slight change in dose could effect your symptoms.

 

If I remember correctly, you are not reducing now, but you just made capsules at your current dose to try and level out? That is a very wise decision I think and I hope within the next couple of days you'll see your symptoms improve. Please keep us updated. 

[[Ho...]]

Hi there HopeForTomorrow!

 

It sounds like you nailed the process and did it pretty much the way I used to. BTW, I used tweezers but I was so clumsy I often got the powder all over me and I did just fine.

 

I think there are a couple of things that might contribute to your increased symptoms. I fully agree with Bob7 on the anxiety. I do think even subconsciously there are many things about this new process you are worried about, plus the added anxiety from not getting your dose accurate prior to this method.

 

You are also likely getting a more accurate dose now which might slightly vary from the inconsistencies before and since you mentioned you are very sensitive, I think this slight change in dose could effect your symptoms.

 

If I remember correctly, you are not reducing now, but you just made capsules at your current dose to try and level out? That is a very wise decision I think and I hope within the next couple of days you'll see your symptoms improve. Please keep us updated. 

 

I do not think it is the filler.  If you take over the counter drugs, you would have noticed the effect. For example:

According to the FDA, Advil, which is one of the brand names for ibuprofen (and made by the Pfizer drug company), contains the following inactive ingredients: Carnauba wax, colloidal silicon dioxide, croscarmellose sodium, hypromellose, lactose, magnesium stearate, microcrystalline cellulose, propylene glycol, titanium dioxide.

 

My doctor really explained chest pains to me.  Anxiety makes your muscles tight all the time.  After days or weeks of this, the muscles get tired and react by giving you pain.  Chest pains of this type are very common. 

 

Therefore, since you have chest pains, I assume your anxiety is much greater than you know for several weeks.

 

When I was at your level in my taper, my doctor gave me buspar and it took the edge off of all my symptoms.  Buspar is NOT a benzo.  It treats anxiety.  After a few weeks on buspar, I felt better and got off of it with no problems and continued my taper.

 

Also, since you are having anxiety, I do not think you are overdosed on your benzo.  Perhaps your are reacting to a long painful time of filling capsules which added to the stress and tired you out?

 

 

 

Thank you guys for the help but I ended up having a severe reaction. I have no idea what from. There's microcrystalline in my Ativan tablets. I'm not sure if I did something incorrectly or what but it further destabilized me and quickly. Towards the evening I had akathisia and ended up having to take a Benadryl - that helped.

 

I was so confident in it and it went so smoothly weighing that I thought this was the solution. I took my pill form last night - I am still recovering today. I have severe brain fog and my other symptoms are here still just worse.

 

Honestly, you guys, I'm feeling so defeated, stuck and scared like I did in the beginning. I was on .21mg in January 2020 and I'm only on .18mg January 2021 with symptoms like I had in the beginning. 12/27 I was shopping, working and putting together furniture, now I'm bedridden with dyskinesia affecting my left eye, severe brain fog and physical anxiety, fear of withdrawal and despair, etc.

 

Am I the only one that has struggled this badly?

 

Bob, I suffered an adverse reaction from an SSRI and was cold turkeyed in 2020. Withdrawal from that started which is why I was prescribed Ativan. I was put back on 1mg SSRI to combat those withdrawals and it helped. So I can't take Buspar unfortunately

[[Ho...]]

Well, Jelly & Bob, I think I’ve figured something out.

 

The involuntary eye movement symptom and anxiety started the week I realized I made a 14% cut. It wasn’t severe - I was functioning and working but in a little wave. No insomnia. The following week, I got pink eye and took homeopathic drops containing belladonna. I didn’t realize belladonna could affect the nervous system. I had some GI issues and some anxiety but the eye symptoms went away - I thought because I was stabilizing and didn’t think anything of it.

 

The following week is when I started posting on here because the involuntary eye movements started but way worse, chemical anxiety and insomnia like when I was in acute. I didn’t even have this badly with the accidental cut week. That started after about 4 days of no drops at all.

 

Well, I have been doing sporadic doses of those drops just when I saw it on the counter for dry eyes. Tonight I did it - had diarrhea (TMI), insane brain fog and sleepiness. Chemical anxiety subsided and eye symptoms went to about a 4/10 instead of 10/10.  My  husband saw them on the counter and said “I wonder if those are causing some of this” - I looked at the ingredients - belladonna is main ingredient.

 

I wonder if I’m having some sort of a setback and additional withdrawal from the belladonna? Almost how magnesium helps some but causes havoc/withdrawal on others?  I am extremely sensitive so I avoided the steroid eye drops the doctor prescribed and thought this was the better option.

 

Just goes to show how extremely sensitive I am. I have decided to stop the eye drops altogether, stay on the pills  and pray for some stability. Once I stabilize again, reconvene on a better tapering method.

 

Sorry to double message you guys but wanted to share with friends on here.

 

 

Hi there HopeForTomorrow!

 

It sounds like you nailed the process and did it pretty much the way I used to. BTW, I used tweezers but I was so clumsy I often got the powder all over me and I did just fine.

 

I think there are a couple of things that might contribute to your increased symptoms. I fully agree with Bob7 on the anxiety. I do think even subconsciously there are many things about this new process you are worried about, plus the added anxiety from not getting your dose accurate prior to this method.

 

You are also likely getting a more accurate dose now which might slightly vary from the inconsistencies before and since you mentioned you are very sensitive, I think this slight change in dose could effect your symptoms.

 

If I remember correctly, you are not reducing now, but you just made capsules at your current dose to try and level out? That is a very wise decision I think and I hope within the next couple of days you'll see your symptoms improve. Please keep us updated. 

I am proud of you.  You did everything perfectly.

 

Yes, when measuring the powder, I put the cup on the scale and then tare.

 

Just to compare notes, here is how I fill the larger half of the gel capsule.

I drill a hole in a thin piece of wood.

I set the wood on the scale.

I put the large half of the empty gel capsule in the hole.

I tare the scale.

I then remove the gel capsule and add powder and return to the scale to weigh it.  I then use a little scoop to add or remove powder to get the weight I want.

 

I am sure you will have your own method - just do what works and do NOT worry about being super exact.  The powder dilutes everything so I little error in measurement is less significant.  Remember, worries fuel anxiety and it is anxiety which leads to many symptoms. 

[[je...]]

Thanks so much for the update.

 

I know this process is extremely frustrating when we're trying to determine what is causing these symptoms. I have seen people on here having reactions to the most obscure things, so I would never rule anything out. I have also seen people who were fine with meds, food and supplements the one day, only to have a reaction the next.

 

One of our members on the forum here is having a severe setback from a steroid nasal spray withdrawal. One thing I would say, is you know your body best. Trust your gut instinct.

 

And another thing - YOU WILL BEAT THIS! We are here to listen and support. You are not alone.