4 Months Clean

[[Hu...]]

So, it's been 4 months. I had a great window from the 28th Sept to the 24th of October. If you'd have asked me on the 23rd of October ( a month ago for anyone reading this in the future) I'd probably have told you I was out of this mess, that I was pretty much recovered. But then everything went downhill. Spent the last month in and out of windows and waves, which has been frustrating. I'll have a bad 5 days, then a good 5, than a bad week, then a good one. Very hard to make plans or know what is what.

 

But luckily the last of my waves was the mildest yet. It is Monday now and I've been in a good Window since Wednesday. Hopefully it keeps up. Still fragile, a bit anxiety prone. That was the case throughout my month long window though it did lessen as time went on as I got less and less preoccupied with the return of a wave.

 

Just really hoping this ends soon. Made massive improvements overall, I'm not ungrateful, I just want to overcome these final hurdles. Moderate to mild anxiety and depression on my waves, mild mild anxiety on my windows.

 

Hopefully my 5 month update is these things clearing up entirely!

 

 

[[ca...]]

Well done 

 

I totally get the frustration of ups and downs 

[[Ro...]]

So happy you’re healing! Keep being optimistic! You’re headed in the right direction ♥️

[[Hu...]]

Thanks guys. I am for sure much better. My bad days are much better than they used to be, and my good days are very enjoyable. I just wish it would even out a little. I've said this many times but the optimism takes a big hit when you've been feelign good for a whole month then you get slammed with a big two week long wave.

 

I've been alternating windows and waves since then and the waves have become noticeable milder. It's just about patience I guess!