Getting through Cold Turkey with Grace and more Ease

[Guest [pa...]]

So you shouldn't put people down just because you don't agree with their lifestyle, because it's really none of your business. And you took the same Med and you're here for the same reason.

I don't really care if somebody wants to get high on weed, opiates or stimulants. But benzos are bad, whether used recreationally, or medically, legaly or otherwise. The "official" medical knowledge on benzos lags behind the Internet knowledge for 50 years. Information on drugs that dangerous should be common knowledge. Sure, you can't overdose on benzos. That doesn't make them safe. As many of us here know, there are fates far worse than death. What goes for benzos also goes for other classes of psychiatric drugs, like antidepressants and antipsychotics. These are not as stigmatized as benzos, but can be even worse than benzos.

[[Ju...]]

Well spoken, that's true. Benzos are probably the worst drug out there now that I can see everything for how it truly is. All the financial and relationship damage and time down healing and everything else that came along with them.

 

I don't know if they're worse than methamphetamines, but they're right up there for sure. And they won't kill you all by themselves most likely, but if you combine them with alcohol or opiates they will.

 

And yeah that's a good point, medical literature doesn't show any of this. And it doesn't matter if you took them prescribed or not, it's the same thing. And it doesn't matter if you're physically dependent or addicted, the drug does the same thing regardless. Even if it's stolen.

[[Tr...]]

Translator, you might not know of any of this stuff going on as a nurse, but I can assure you it happens. My aunt was a nurse and that's how her pill addiction began, from the hospitals.

 

Also my uncle worked for the state Bureau of Investigation, and his job was to investigate the pills at the hospital and find out if any of the doctors or nurses were stealing them, and it was almost on a daily basis. Tons of nurses and doctors got charged with stealing opiates and benzos, and pretty large amounts of them at that.

 

I also know a pharmacist, my ex oh, her dad worked at an outpatient pharmacy. He would bring home things like Oxycontin and Vicodin and Xanax and even antibiotics just to avoid paying doctors when he didn't need to go to them in the first place.

 

There's lots of real-life nurse Jackie's out there if you look hard enough. And maybe even if you look, you won't see anything. But they're still there.

 

So I know what you're trying to do, make yourself look all innocent compared to the people that stole them, or that didn't have prescriptions, or abused them or got addicted to them. But how are you any better other than you didn't do anything illegal? You took the same drug.

 

So you shouldn't put people down just because you don't agree with their lifestyle, because it's really none of your business. And you took the same Med and you're here for the same reason.

 

 

I understand that there are thefts. There are bad people everywhere. But why protect thieves?  It's not nice for us who have never stolen. And why give this profession a bad reputation? 

[[Ju...]]

Nobody is being protected, but why put somebody down just because they are a drug addict or a criminal? That doesn't mean that they are a bad person.

 

There's lots of people out there stealing food because they're hungry and the government won't help them. There's lots of people that get addicted to drugs because of pharmaceuticals prescribed by doctors.

 

There's people that have to steal clothes in order to have something to wear. There's all kinds of things that go on if you have been raised around poor people or criminals and drug addicts. Half of the time it's not preventable.

 

And there's good and bad everywhere, including with politicians and police officers. There's always the select few that are going to be bad people, but their actions don't necessarily speak for who they are.

 

There's also a lot of horrible nurses out there, lots of nurses that don't care about anybody and watch them suffer. I've been a patient at many hospitals and I can tell you first-hand that most nurses don't give a crap about us and just want their paycheck and to go home and gossip. They should not be protected either.

 

It's the same with some doctors, there are some good ones and some really bad ones.

 

I guess I'm just saying the same thing that you said, there's good people and bad people everywhere. But a profession or a theft doesn't determine anything.

[[Be...]]

pace, I think you are right. Read yopur last sentence below: ":I'll consider this a good, life changing experience." VERY true and exactly how I feel. God it has been a terrible journey but I am so glad I stuck it out.

I reckon if I survive my stupid decision and heal, every normal day is going to feel euphoric.

 

You will heal lovely.  Please believe that.  Please be kind to yourself - I beat myself up for yonks and yonks about belly ping on Valium & staying on it - especially the way I abused it.  But in the end I decided it didn’t help at all.  Please believe you will get through this.  Because you will.

[Guest [pa...]]

You will heal lovely.  Please believe that.  Please be kind to yourself - I beat myself up for yonks and yonks about belly ping on Valium & staying on it - especially the way I abused it.  But in the end I decided it didn’t help at all.  Please believe you will get through this.  Because you will.

I was brought down by my stubbornness and pride. I knew better than to cold-turkey. But I have just finished a really successful taper when setback with amitriptyline happened and didn't want to taper for half-a-year or more because of two days. Well, it turns out I should've.

[[Be...]]

Annie,

 

Thank you for your courage, your grace, your honestly, humility & support.  I wouldn’t be able to have gotten this far without you.  At all.  Thank you will never ever be quite enough. 

 

I personally don’t think it matters how we got Benzo’s - if they were prescribed or not.  We are all on the same boat of trying to get through - trying to take that one more step towards healing.  People like yourself help us all to learn that we can get through this - that we will heal. I personally don’t believe that judging someone for any reason is helpful.  It shouldn’t matter how someone got hold of Benzo’s - what good does judging someone actually do? Thank you for your honesty.  We are all humans.  Not any one of us - benzo withdrawing or not can say we e never done anything wrong, we’ve all made mistakes.  Please please keep being the pillar of strength that you are for so many people who are struggling  this forum,  please keep on being you.  You saved me.  Again & again & again. 

[[Be...]]

You will heal lovely.  Please believe that.  Please be kind to yourself - I beat myself up for yonks and yonks about belly ping on Valium & staying on it - especially the way I abused it.  But in the end I decided it didn’t help at all.  Please believe you will get through this.  Because you will.

I was brought down by my stubbornness and pride. I knew better than to cold-turkey. But I have just finished a really successful taper when setback with amitriptyline happened and didn't want to taper for half-a-year or more because of two days. Well, it turns out I should've.

 

I totally hear where you’re coming from.  I beat myself up massively for my mistake of going on Benzo’s & the way I used them.  But perhaps, for me, some of trudging through benzo withdrawal is about learning - about grace, if I can use benzo withdrawal like a porthole to be a better person - to be kinder to myself, to be my own best Friend.  Then maybe I can get through it a little bit better.  I know when I beat myself up about my decisions - then I feel worse - it doesn’t help at all.  Please pace please be kind to yourself - forgiveness is such a hard thing & perhaps the hardest is all is to forgive yourself.  You tried your best, you are doing your best.  You will heal.  This is just a temporary setback.  You got this. 

[[Hi...]]

Hi,

I am just over 12 months out of a c/t from xanax, 1 sometimes 2mg per day.  My doc never told me about how toxic these were and i found  out on the last day of a 5 day business trip when i did not bring them.  I quickly learned all about them which brought me to my c/t and wd hell.  I could not stay on a drug that had that kind of impact on me.

 

Anyway, thank you very much for your post.  I completely agree with you on posting positivity and uplifting messages.  I have learned this kind of fear is like no other that i have ever experienced and will wreck you if you let it.

 

Wishing everyone a peaceful holiday season.

 

Hingie

 

 

 

[[bl...]]

Hi Annie!  Such a great post; It is spot on! I remember you from when I was going through the worst of my withdrawal and I’m so glad to hear that you are doing well. I just passed my five year post withdrawal anniversary and I am doing great. I would say that I am 99.99% healed. The few oddball things that pop up now and then are totally doable and are more annoyances than anything else.  I am not on here much anymore either because I am living and enjoying my life and so grateful for every day that I have! There was a time when I was so afraid that I would never get better and would be stuck like that for the rest of my life.  I do pop on here every once in a while just to see if I can offer any help or hope to those who are in the thick of it.  Hopefully others will read our posts and be encouraged that healing as possible and that there will be an end to the misery someday and a beautiful life to follow! Thank you again for your wonderful post!

[[Sh...]]

Thinking of jumping off 1.39 v. I’m scared but sick of this mindf$ck I am suffering every single day

[[Be...]]

Thinking of jumping off 1.39 v. I’m scared but sick of this mindf$ck I am suffering every single day

 

Sorry to hear you are suffering.  I cold tirkey-Ed.  On the advice of 3 doctors & my psychologist.  I would avoid cold turkey at all costs - it is hell.  I’m almost one year out & would encourage you to keep up your slow taper.  You can do this. 

[[Wa...]]

I quit Diazepam (valium) C/T a week ago with two rescue doses that were.. well.. useless.

Was taking 5mg nightly for 4 weeks and then I build a tolerance but didnt want to keep on going as I knew I would end up in a vicious circle.

 

As of now.. mostly muscle aches, some anxiety but also making changes in my nutrition, at least get some good stuff in me.. I used to eat junk all the time, not healthy at all!

Racing thoughts are most definitely something I dislike.. I know there is hope... I feel alone though even if I have a good support system.

 

Any encouraging advice is welcome, either here or in PM's.

 

[[ka...]]

HI Annie,

 

I just wanted to contact you as I also CT off these poisons. Your words bring me comfort here at 16 monhts

 

thank you