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How do I stop fearing the fear??


[Me...]

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Guys, the nighttime anxiety is crippling me and is the reason why I’m not sleeping. When I’m able to let go and tune it out long enough to allow my body to rest, I can fall asleep. I know this, but I still fear nights. The waves of anxiety and panic that wash over me as I lay there terrify me because of how intense they are. I haven’t been able to consistently not fear them. I start off the night tense, anticipating the panic waves, which of course, brings them on. I’m creating the majority of my insomnia at this point. How do I stop?? I’m a sweaty mess all night and it takes me all day to recover, just to get anxious about it all over again. Please help me break the cycle. :(
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Some of the things I’m thinking now, already nervous about the night:

 

“What if I feel it all night and don’t sleep again? How can I take care of my kids tomorrow?”

 

“It’s still so intense. It feels like my body hasn’t healed at all. What if it’s permanent?”

 

“What if my mind gets stuck on fearing bedtime and never allows me to rest?”

 

“I’m going to end up in a hospital if I don’t get sleep tonight.”

 

How do I redirect these?? They all seem so true and real when I’m anxious (like now & trying to sleep)

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Sorry you're suffering so much Melanie. Anxiety and insomnia were the worst symptoms for me too especially when you have responsibilities like kids, jobs... Some people have found meditation and relaxation exercises to help. What's happening is that the excititory neurotransmitter like glutamate are overwhelming your calming NTs like gaba. I think you're on the right track with the supplements. Other to consider are: Taurine, ginger, vit C, vit B6, COQ10, Valerian root, L-Theanine. Some help calm your mind and others support gaba production and counteract glutamate. I would just add one at a time as it affects each of us differently. Unfortunately there's no magic bullet with the exception of time. I found that exercises helped even if it's just pacing the house. Looking at your profile, are you saying it's been 3 years since you been on benzos?
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Hi Melanie,

 

I'm so sorry you're dealing with awful anxiety and insomnia.  Jwl has some good suggestions. You might also consider trying chamomile tea.  There are a lot of different opinions on the forum about chamomile.  I personally found it very calming before bed to drink a cup of tea with two teabags of chamomile.

 

Another suggestion is a warm bath just before bed - with 2 cups of Epsom salts and a few drops of an essential oil you like (I used lavender).  It's generally suggested to soak for 20 minutes.  If the weather is especially warm where you are you may not find this too appealing but remember, the bath temperature doesn't need to be very warm. 

 

To help you get some distance from the awful fear it can help to read this because it explains why fear becomes so magnified in withdrawal:  What's happening inside your brain

 

You'll find more ideas on these boards:

Insomnia

Anxiety 

 

Wishing you much healing and relief

Brighterday

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[9f...]

Some of the things I’m thinking now, already nervous about the night:

 

“What if I feel it all night and don’t sleep again? How can I take care of my kids tomorrow?”

 

“It’s still so intense. It feels like my body hasn’t healed at all. What if it’s permanent?”

 

“What if my mind gets stuck on fearing bedtime and never allows me to rest?”

 

“I’m going to end up in a hospital if I don’t get sleep tonight.”

 

How do I redirect these?? They all seem so true and real when I’m anxious (like now & trying to sleep)

 

Try to let those thoughts pass when you have them.  Don't interact with them.  No emotion.  Each is just another beige sedan passing thru the intersection.  You've seen it before.  You'll probably see it again.  Not worth your attention. 

 

I think it also helps to create a positive space that you can go to.  Your mind/imagination is just as capable of creating a nirvana zone as it is at creating a worry zone.  Maybe don't make it too exciting if you want to get to sleep.

 

(My mental space is a beach about an hour north of San Francisco.  Very calming.  Or a beach party.  Whatever I want it to be.)

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