This is not real

[[Te...]]

I'm so wired not even Benadryl is helping me sleep. I'm so wired up. Took a zyprexa and that didnt even put me to sleep. Omg what am I going to do now.....I'm seeing things a little and I feel so off.

[[Bl...]]

I had a bad night too , only 3 hours .I have been up since 12 40 and its now 6 35 am.  You arent alone . I recognize that part of the damage this drug did was to cause me to be unable to manage stress anymore . None .Its that way for most of us and you will have to take extra precautions to minimize any stress .  I am under a huge amount of stress thanks to a burden my ex husband left me with and I am trying to rectify .  I cant handle it and that ends this week .

 

I ( and probably you too)  had to change how I sleep  and my whole life really .

 

I cant rest with tv on anymore which I loved an d have to lay down at 7 30 pm take melatonin at 845 . EVERYTHING ha to be quiet and dark and you will have to work on this for awhile  your nervous system is hyper aware . I am dizzy and sick too from this . If you take too much melatonin it can make you wired . I cant take any more than 1.5 mgs split into 30 minute intervals . I had to try a few brands before i  found one that worked for me

I listen to asmr quietly on my darkened phone .

NO fights or arguments with anyone , even  political ones on social media -no conflicts .

I eat no later that 4 hours before bedtime .  Watch your sugar after that time too , if I eat candy ..its on . a popsicle seems to be ok .

I cannot stress to you to keep your stress down. You are going to have alot of these nights but it will pass .

I take a warm shower for maybe 30 minutes before I get into bed .

Learn to keep your mind quiet and try not to get upset - this is part of withdrawal .

i tried everything also but last night just was not happening .

Even now As much as I love this forum I cannot come here often because this experience was so bad that it does trigger me and I was on here yesterday and no sleep . You may need a break from the forum .

 

I also walk , I walk between 5-6 miles a day , I worked up slowly when I was in acute , My daughter and my ex husband  would walk me around the apartment . I was VERY VERY sick and had pots very badly for many months so I would walk and sit . My family had to walk me up and down the sidewalk , I would even walk in the rain I was so desperate to get better .  I now walk on my treadmill sometimes like today I will walk a mile an hour instead of 4 mph  to tire me out , it does not always work perfect but it helps somewhat .

 

[[So...]]

Teness, remind me how long you have been med free please?

[[Te...]]

I can't help but stress. I'm so afraid of not sleeping I'm stressing bad. Making myself sick I know but I cant seem to help it. I'm 4 months almost out.

[Guest [bl...]]

why are you not trying the lexapro? it could help you.

[[Bl...]]

I understand that , It is scary , 4 months  is not too long still .

Do try the lexapro or another brand of melatonin if you can .

[[So...]]

I'm so sorry, and yes it becomes a massive worry all the time about "will I sleep tonight?"

I know it is brutal. I went for a while with just 0 sleep for a couple days and then would get just an hour or 2 on the 3rd day. Ugh. It did that pattern for a while. Then other awful patterns.

But here is the thing...it got better!

At 4 months off I was still in awful insomnia. Mine got better between months 5-8.

I'm 15 months off now and sleep 8-9 hours almost all the time.

At certain times of my cycle...I have a night or 2 where it's hard to fall asleep but eventually do, so like 6 hours sleep. Which is fine by me.

I absolutely understand the desperation for sleep! There is a reason they use sleep deprivation for torture...that's what it is.

But I had to give up thinking "what if I don't sleep". Just said "maybe I will, maybe I won't"

Of course I do have good sleep routines and all of that, but in the end....WD isomnia is different...if your body and brain doesn't have what it needs to sleep it just won't. But our bodies and brains know how to repair! And eventually sleep comes back because it's human nature.

In the mean time....stay away from zyprexa for sleep! Not worth the risk!

I took enough haladohl and zyprexa during acute to put down an elephant!!!! And still....was wide awake...the staff in the facility where like wt?...how can you still be awake and walking around right now??!!!! There was nothing that would put me out during it. Nothing.

But all that to say......I am sooooo better! AND I don't stress about sleep anymore!

And I am truly sorry! :'(

 

[[Th...]]

If you want to know why this is happening, it has to do with your down regulated GABA and the lack of balance with Glutamate.  Both are nervous system receptors.  GABA is your body's "brake pedal" or what slows things down and makes you calm and relaxed.  Glutamate is your body's "gas pedal" or what makes you active and alert or even fight or flight.  Normally the two are in a "balancing act" so one doesn't overtake the other.  But when your GABA is temporarily taken off line by the Benzo, Glutamate rules the day and night.  That's why you might feel wired all the time, have racing thoughts and are never sleepy.  It takes some time for your body to repair the temporary damage.  No one knows how long that will be.  But your body knows exactly how to repair the damage and put your GABA and Glutamate back into balance.  However, it is a very nonlinear process...UP and DOWN, one step forward, 2 steps back for some time for most.

 

[[di...]]

why are you not trying the lexapro? it could help you.

Why are you pushing antidepressants? It is especially inappropriate here since there's no reason to think lexapro would help sleep.

[Guest [bl...]]

why are you not trying the lexapro? it could help you.

Why are you pushing antidepressants? It is especially inappropriate here since there's no reason to think lexapro would help sleep.

 

Her doctor has recommended it to her! And her family too wants her to get on it. And I agree with both of them.

 

Are you the resident doctor here?

 

P.s. Lexapro might not help YOU sleep. Use the personal pronoun next time. Don't generalize based on you n=1 sample study.

[[Te...]]

Is it possible I'm bipolar and I need help....is it possible I'm having a manic episode??

[Guest [bl...]]

Is it possible I'm bipolar and I need help....is it possible I'm having a manic episode??

 

Teness, all I know is that one shouldn't take antidepressants if one is in mania because it might aggravate it. You should get a diagnosis from your doctor if you are suspicious.

 

Meanwhile here are a set of educational videos on bipolar that you can watch to confirm if they match your symptoms --

[Guest [bl...]]

I like the way you are thinking though. You'll get better, don't worry.

[[al...]]

why are you not trying the lexapro? it could help you.

Why are you pushing antidepressants? It is especially inappropriate here since there's no reason to think lexapro would help sleep.

 

Her doctor has recommended it to her! And her family too wants her to get on it. And I agree with both of them.

 

Are you the resident doctor here?

 

P.s. Lexapro might not help YOU sleep. Use the personal pronoun next time. Don't generalize based on you n=1 sample study.

 

"Her doctor recommended it to her". Many of us who have the advantage of hindsight regarding our withdrawals cringe at those words because many, if not most, doctors are not even slightly informed when it comes to benzo withdrawal. They don't even believe that PAWS is real. I very much beg to differ on that. In my opinion (and opinions are all that any of us can bring to the table here) Lexapro or any other drug of the sort has no place in the treatment of benzo withdrawal. I tried it and it took away what little sleep I was able to get at the time. Insomnia is a listed side-effect of the drug. It did make me feel better during the day, but without sleep that benefit became short-lived. Taking one drug to fix what another drug screwed up is the western way, but perhaps not the wisest approach.

[Guest [bl...]]

why are you not trying the lexapro? it could help you.

Why are you pushing antidepressants? It is especially inappropriate here since there's no reason to think lexapro would help sleep.

 

Her doctor has recommended it to her! And her family too wants her to get on it. And I agree with both of them.

 

Are you the resident doctor here?

 

P.s. Lexapro might not help YOU sleep. Use the personal pronoun next time. Don't generalize based on you n=1 sample study.

 

"Her doctor recommended it to her". Many of us who have the advantage of hindsight regarding our withdrawals cringe at those words because many, if not most, doctors are not even slightly informed when it comes to benzo withdrawal. They don't even believe that PAWS is real. I very much beg to differ on that. In my opinion (and opinions are all that any of us can bring to the table here) Lexapro or any other drug of the sort has no place in the treatment of benzo withdrawal. I tried it and it took away what little sleep I was able to get at the time. Insomnia is a listed side-effect of the drug. It did make me feel better during the day, but without sleep that benefit became short-lived. Taking one drug to fix what another drug screwed up is the western way, but perhaps not the wisest approach.

 

I agree with everything you said except your last sentence.

[[Te...]]

My concern is that I feel like I dont want to sleep....I'm just up and wired. Depressed but afraid.....that's y I'm questioning myself of bipolar?

[[Pa...]]

why are you not trying the lexapro? it could help you.

Why are you pushing antidepressants? It is especially inappropriate here since there's no reason to think lexapro would help sleep.

 

Her doctor has recommended it to her! And her family too wants her to get on it. And I agree with both of them.

Are you the resident doctor here?

 

P.s. Lexapro might not help YOU sleep. Use the personal pronoun next time. Don't generalize based on you n=1 sample study.

 

blueWaters,

 

Its obvious you're an intelligent person so I'm sure you can find a way to communicate with other members without using sarcasm or degrading comments.  Kindness and support to those who are hurting and to those trying to help is what we do here, please soften your approach. 

 

Pamster

[[al...]]

My concern is that I feel like I dont want to sleep....I'm just up and wired. Depressed but afraid.....that's y I'm questioning myself of bipolar?

 

Back to you Teness...perhaps bi-polar if not going through withdrawal, but what you describe is pretty common for folks that are. It is funny just how wired you can get during withdrawal. I seldom yawned and most of the time I felt very safe driving because I felt alert and would seldom nod off even on my own couch or bed. That alertness did not do anything to decrease the depression and anxiety however. Some day you too will be looking back at all of this as a thing from the past.

[Guest [bl...]]

why are you not trying the lexapro? it could help you.

Why are you pushing antidepressants? It is especially inappropriate here since there's no reason to think lexapro would help sleep.

 

Her doctor has recommended it to her! And her family too wants her to get on it. And I agree with both of them.

Are you the resident doctor here?

 

P.s. Lexapro might not help YOU sleep. Use the personal pronoun next time. Don't generalize based on you n=1 sample study.

 

blueWaters,

 

Its obvious you're an intelligent person so I'm sure you can find a way to communicate with other members without using sarcasm or degrading comments.  Kindness and support to those who are hurting and to those trying to help is what we do here, please soften your approach. 

 

Pamster

 

Yes Pam, I agree with you. BTW nicely worded reminder.  I'll be careful going forwards.

[[Sh...]]

why are you not trying the lexapro? it could help you.

Why are you pushing antidepressants? It is especially inappropriate here since there's no reason to think lexapro would help sleep.

 

I’ve noticed this on other threads too. Pushing ads. Lexapro will make you feel worse before u might start to feel better. Ask any pharmacist or dr and they will say the same. Teness has children and needs support to get her through this tricky time. Teness SSRI May make u feel worse, they are activating, If u must take An ad a sedating one might be best. I will not suggest any as I had a terrible time on them but if u are going that road discuss These with psychiatrist. X

[[Sh...]]

My concern is that I feel like I dont want to sleep....I'm just up and wired. Depressed but afraid.....that's y I'm questioning myself of bipolar?

 

Back to you Teness...perhaps bi-polar if not going through withdrawal, but what you describe is pretty common for folks that are. It is funny just how wired you can get during withdrawal. I seldom yawned and most of the time I felt very safe driving because I felt alert and would seldom nod off even on my own couch or bed. That alertness did not do anything to decrease the depression and anxiety however. Some day you too will be looking back at all of this as a thing from the past.

 

Agree. I hardly ever yawned at my worst. Constantly wired and anxious. Teness you hang in there. X

[[le...]]

why are you not trying the lexapro? it could help you.

Why are you pushing antidepressants? It is especially inappropriate here since there's no reason to think lexapro would help sleep.

 

Her doctor has recommended it to her! And her family too wants her to get on it. And I agree with both of them.

Are you the resident doctor here?

 

P.s. Lexapro might not help YOU sleep. Use the personal pronoun next time. Don't generalize based on you n=1 sample study.

 

blueWaters,

 

Its obvious you're an intelligent person so I'm sure you can find a way to communicate with other members without using sarcasm or degrading comments.  Kindness and support to those who are hurting and to those trying to help is what we do here, please soften your approach. 

 

Pamster

 

Glad you stepped it a few days ago I also had some sarcastic comments directed at me by Blue Waters seems to be happening again. Can be quite upsetting.

[Guest [bl...]]

 

I’ve noticed this on other threads too. Pushing ads. Lexapro will make you feel worse before u might start to feel better. Ask any pharmacist or dr and they will say the same. Teness has children and needs support to get her through this tricky time. Teness SSRI May make u feel worse, they are activating, If u must take An ad a sedating one might be best. I will not suggest any as I had a terrible time on them but if u are going that road discuss These with psychiatrist. X

 

These are very good points. I'm glad you brought them up. Not all people who start ADs suffer from start up anxiety. Yet many do. It's like a potluck. That said, since Teness is already in a high anxiety state, it's likely AD startup will exacerbate her anxiety. In fact it could be very traumatic. This is also a reason why many people abandon ADs after a few days and report that they don't work. The exception is an adverse reaction. It is very hard to tell if one is having an adverse reaction or start up anxiety -- it remains a personal call. But generally an adverse reaction's anxiety/depression is extreme, is closely connected with the time one takes the med, and one can tell the difference. Adverse reaction, if endured, does not abate even after the 2 weeks start up period (this is from my personal experience). But generally it does go away once the drug is stopped (please don't reply saying yours never went away -- I acknowledge in advance that you are an exception).

 

Lexapro is a sedative AD. I would suggest Teness titrate up if she finally decides to give it a shot. Maybe start with half a 5 mg pill, study if she can tolerate the anxiety and then go up to 5 mg after a week and so on.

 

I would urge her and others to revisit this excellent sticky by Mindseeker. Mindseeker was one of BB's most valuable contributor. I think she was a research scientist herself or appeared to be. Towards the bottom the sticky has notes on how to distinguish an AD withdrawal (or conversely, start up and adverse reactions) from other disorders -- http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=142057.0

[[Sh...]]

 

I’ve noticed this on other threads too. Pushing ads. Lexapro will make you feel worse before u might start to feel better. Ask any pharmacist or dr and they will say the same. Teness has children and needs support to get her through this tricky time. Teness SSRI May make u feel worse, they are activating, If u must take An ad a sedating one might be best. I will not suggest any as I had a terrible time on them but if u are going that road discuss These with psychiatrist. X

 

These are very good points. I'm glad you brought them up. Not all people who start ADs suffer from start up anxiety. Yet many do. It's like a potluck. That said, since Teness is already in a high anxiety state, it's likely AD startup will exacerbate her anxiety. In fact it could be very traumatic. This is also a reason why many people abandon ADs after a few days and report that they don't work. The exception is an adverse reaction. It is very hard to tell if one is having an adverse reaction or start up anxiety -- it remains a personal call. But generally an adverse reaction's anxiety/depression is extreme, is closely connected with the time one takes the med, and one can tell the difference. Adverse reaction, if endured, does not abate even after the 2 weeks start up period (this is from my personal experience).

 

Lexapro is a sedative AD. I would suggest Teness titrate up if she finally decides to give it a shot. Maybe start with half a 5 mg pill, study if she can tolerate the anxiety and then go up to 5 mg after a week and so on.

 

I would urge her and others to revisit this excellent sticky by Mindseeker. Mindseeker was one of BB's most valuable contributor. I think she was a research scientist herself or appeared to be. Towards the bottom the sticky has notes on how to distinguish an AD withdrawal (or conversely, start up and adverse reactions) from other disorders -- http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=142057.0

 

Lexapro is not a sedative ad. It is activating. I felt as high a kite while I was on it. My major problem was insomnia, just like teness. SSRI side effect is insomnia. She does not need any more of that. I was titrated up from 5 mg. I got to 15mg and 8 weeks in and was a complete mess. I am speaking from my own experience and as someone who was in wd with severe insomnia it was the worst thing I could have been put on. Are you a doctor? Do u have personal experience with lexapro because I do and it drove me to the edge. To tell someone who is truly struggling like teness to take this med is Dangerous. The first 4 weeks are hell on earth.

[Guest [bl...]]

I'm on Lexapro. Second time around. Sometimes I get start up anxiety sometimes I don't. Lately I've been getting adverse reactions too.

 

I may or may not be a doctor. But I'm not Teness's doctor and have no intention of being one.

 

Teness's doctor suggested Lexapro, not me.

 

This site says citalopram (escitalopram is a purer version of it) is sedating  -  https://www.ballardpsych.com/ssri/

 

I've narrated my personal experience with some general info about ADs.

 

You have narrated yours with some general info about ADs.

 

Let Teness, her doctor and family decide what's best for her.

 

Can we please move on?