I need to know if others are suffering like this

[[ea...]]

I became super OCD during bwd. This is a bit funny. Before bwd, I didnt care a nit about cleaning my home. I dont think I ebven owned a vacuum cleaner! But somewhere maybe abot 5 months into withdrawal, I did become OCD about cleaning. Back then I was still using a rolling walker due to an injury directly due to benzos. But what the heck, I started trying to clean my house in all sorts of ways. Time went by and my OCD-ism continued. It has now lasted 7.6 years! I guess this is one thing that will remain with me and I feel its ONLY because of my getting off benzos. I consider my cleaning OCD'ism to be proof that getting off benzos DOES change how you think.

This is why I started my own cleaning business over 5 years ago. I had long stopped using a walker, and finally stopped uasing a cane. My cleaning business did well for a couple years but now, of course, it is dead as a duck. So much so I did apply for unemployment benefits.

God this stuff is scary!

If you had told me a couple years ago that today I would be forced to stay home in order to stay safe, I would have laughed. But it turns out to be very true.

I hope all of you guys are staying safe too.

east

[[Ho...]]

I became super OCD during bwd. This is a bit funny. Before bwd, I didnt care a nit about cleaning my home. I dont think I ebven owned a vacuum cleaner! But somewhere maybe abot 5 months into withdrawal, I did become OCD about cleaning. Back then I was still using a rolling walker due to an injury directly due to benzos. But what the heck, I started trying to clean my house in all sorts of ways. Time went by and my OCD-ism continued. It has now lasted 7.6 years! I guess this is one thing that will remain with me and I feel its ONLY because of my getting off benzos. I consider my cleaning OCD'ism to be proof that getting off benzos DOES change how you think.

This is why I started my own cleaning business over 5 years ago. I had long stopped using a walker, and finally stopped uasing a cane. My cleaning business did well for a couple years but now, of course, it is dead as a duck. So much so I did apply for unemployment benefits.

God this stuff is scary!

If you had told me a couple years ago that today I would be forced to stay home in order to stay safe, I would have laughed. But it turns out to be very true.

I hope all of you guys are staying safe too.

east

 

Have you experienced other OCD obsessions? If you haven't, then you don't have OCD. OCD is not just cleaning. No one with OCD just has the OCD Cleaning obsession. It changes subjects and affects all kinds of different things.

[Guest [pe...]]

I had all of those thoughts and then some...they do pass once your brain chemistry rights itself again.  Believe it or not...symptoms are a sign of healing and the body's desire to find homeostasis again.  Just have faith in your body's ability to heal.

 

How long did it take you to heal?

[[Me...]]

I completely feel your pain. Month 29...(I just had a baby so my hormones are everywhere I’m sure too)

My looping thoughts are relentless. I never think of happy things...it’s always “what if” sad things.

I’m hoping this goes away soon....

My physical symptoms are all gone though!

[Guest [Fi...]]

Hello,

 

I'm 14.5 months OFF clonazepam.  6.5 months ON remeron.  I'm suffering extreme mental symptoms 24/7.  My brain is constantly thinking.  Racing thoughts, ruminations, looping, earworms, intrusive thoughts/memories, SI, etc.  Every mental symptom all the time.

 

I'm starting my remeron taper tonight.  It will take me about 1 year to get off.  I was hospitalized and put on zyprexa for 11 days.  I plan on quitting it tonight with no taper but not sure if that's the right thing to do.

 

My mind is constantly looping and worried all the time.  I never get any peace.  I'm holding on by a thread with everyone telling me to keep going, however, those telling me to keep going have no experienced this level of mental anguish I am experiencing.  I have no idea how I am still here. 

 

What I am experiencing is not something a therapist can help.  It's all chemical.  I am extremely obsessive and can't stop my mind from worrying about anything and everything.

 

I can't distract and never have been able to. 

 

How do I keep going at this level of suffering?

 

Listen to me very carefully...I’ve been in the hospital 10-12 times in 2019 because of benzo withdrawal and for the exact same symptoms you are having.  It was not until a doctor said, “...these drugs are making you sick,” did I finally realize, oh my gosh, the benzos are killing me.

 

So.  I understand the relentless mental pain.  But you have to gain control...practice that.  You have the strength.  Use it.

[Guest [pe...]]

Fiercelady - I know you are trying to help but my symptoms are way more severe and frequent than what you have expressed in your posts.  You say your thoughts race 3-4 times a day.  Mine race 24/7 100 miles an hour. I know it's the drugs.  I'm very aware of that.  There is no gaining control when your symptoms are this severe.  If my thoughts only raced when I went to the dentist or a couple of times a day I wouldn't be posting on here like I do.

[Guest [pe...]]

I don't get any windows or a moment of distraction. Just an intrusive thought EVERY SECOND OF EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY HOUR.  ALL DAY LONG. Each thought feels like someone is stabbing my brain with a knife.

[[fu...]]

I don't get any windows or a moment of distraction. Just an intrusive thought EVERY SECOND OF EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY HOUR.  ALL DAY LONG. Each thought feels like someone is stabbing my brain with a knife.

 

This is me. I've tried deep breathing and sometimes it helps a little but mostly I feel like I've gone insane. Basically like someone is dosing me with meth every single morning.

[[Ma...]]

Yes, I have suffered.  I am 23 months off benzos, and have made some progress but am still suffering.  Distraction is the key. Keep trying periodically, may be there will come a time when this works for you.  There have been some bad periods where distraction was just not working at all for me. Audiobooks are what works for me, or binge watching TV. I try not to listen to or watch anything disturbing.