CT'd Aug 11 looking for positive input?

[Guest [Bn...]]

Pamster...Well that cracked the dam! 

[[Pa...]]

I heard it on the radio as I was driving home today, and I thought of you. 

[Guest [Bn...]]

Pamster...thanks!  Today is a whole new adventure.  But I walked about a 1/2 mile full of sx.  But I did it!  The sun was out but really I just walked.

[[Pa...]]

You pushed through the symptoms while taking your walk, that in itself is an achievement because in the early days, there was no way you could have, right?

 

Holy crap, I just read your progress log!!!  Good for you, live your life, push through your symptoms, leave the fear behind, keep fighting it day after day!  I loved it, well except for the cuss words, I'm supposed to get after you for those, but I don't think I will this time, because I think you needed to make a f***ing point!!

[Guest [Bn...]]

Pamster...point corrected!  But point made.  I m spicy today and trying to control it.  Had to put it somewhere.  Usually not a cuss words person.  But it is warranted considering the extreme circumstances.  I apologise but I didn't DIE! lol

 

B

[[Pa...]]

I like this side of you B, you want your life back and it looks like you're going to take it, good for you!

 

It looks to me like you're planning to enjoy your brief windows of normalcy, and not worry when they close again, everyone should do that instead of letting the fear ruin them. 

 

This is an excerpt from parker's post about what is happening in your brain, this is the part about fear.

 

BRAIN STRUCTURES

- amygdala  - This is the FEAR center in the brain. It's a tiny part in the middle of your brain. Fear is protective and it's GREAT if you need to assess something that is dangerous and to ACT  - like if a rabid dog were chasing you. - but it's hard in recovery when it's all you feel for months! But the FEAR is not truly in your MIND. It's in your BRAIN.  There is too much glutamate acting here in the amygdala and not enough GABA. So the nerves are firing off in the fear center when nothing scary is really there in your environment.  It is normal for that to happen given the circumstance physiologically. But it feels awful, doesn't it?  I know.  But it's just a brain structure. This can account for fear, agoraphobia, fear of water, fear of anything.  It's not that you're really "scared" of the moon - it's that you're in almost constant fear because this brain structure is healing. The glutamate is pruning back. The GABA receptors are opening back up.  It may or may not continue for awhile. It will abate. Then come back. But eventually, the brain will get it right. 

 

What is happening in your brain

[[ea...]]

B, just a quick note. I am so proud of you. You  have pushed through some awful times, and you have not given up. Way to go, girl.

Your handling of BWD has been wonderful, and even though you don't know it yet, you have done such a good job of coping with all BWD threw at you.

Let those tears fall, B.

Annie

[Guest [Bn...]]

Thanks Pamster and East.

 

I m going to heal whether I like it or not!  I m choosing to not be ruled by the sx again today.  My body my choice!

 

B

[[Pa...]]

The amazing thing about this process is how strong we are when we get though it.  I've read so many members talk about the gratitude they acquire after this, I know it's hard to imagine that when we're going through it, but it comes. 

 

I see anger in your words B, but I see you using that anger in a constructive way, you're fighting for you, you're taking your life back!  Yes, there are still difficult days ahead but I see you reclaiming your power, your life.

 

[Guest [Bn...]]

Well here I am a few days in to 2019 don't feel fantastic but I m a bit clear in my head full of physical sx but I m able to talk and keep myself in check.  Doing what I have to do every day.  Really just pushing every way I can.  I will get through this.  It is hard.  My daughter needs me and I will do this for me and her.  It's hard as hell but I m not going to let her down or me for that matter.