Separated from My Wife

[[dj...]]

I relate to this thread so much.  My wife harbors a lot of resentment over what I had become while I was deteriorating.  A lot of it was the benzo’s fault although she didn’t know that and neither did I really.  I was just mentally detached, emotionally numb, and fatigued and she saw that as me not giving a shit about anything or our marriage. 

 

Either way, I don’t feel very safe at home for fear of being judged.  I just can’t mentally or physically perform like I can and should and it drives me crazy.  It drives my wife crazy too.  Putting a little distance in there let’s us both breathe a little bit.

 

Working and raising kids through all of this is hard as hell.  I want to be responsible and reliable but I don’t trust myself a lot of the time dealing with all these symptoms.

[[Be...]]

BBB, how was your relationship with your wife before you started having benzo w/d problems?  Did you have a happy relationship? 

[[Ma...]]

You made a change, I think that is good.

You already miss your wife and your daughter. Thats good.

You can relax more and you can workout. Thats good.

You still care and support your family. Thats good.

 

Give it time to settle in the brain and then make the next decision.

Thats responsibility. To be an adult means, to make one decision after the other and stick to it.

 

When you start to spiral in your head, stop it and start lifting a weitght immediately.

When you notice you want your wife back - make a decision and then live it.

 

Why not later be 3 days with your little family and then 4 days at your parents house.

And then 4 days and so on.

 

As long as you do not turn into a little boy again hanging around with the buddies drinking beer, - this might be a strategy actually.

 

And please - show your wife that she is really a loving person. She seems to do anything for you.