clonazepam liquid taper

[[El...]]

Just did my first liquid titration. I have been scared to start, but...I jumped in.

 

I diluted 0.5 mg to 150 mL, consuming 0.49mg/148.5 mL

 

I used 6mL vodka. I started with 2mL, but it wasn't enough to cover the pill in the glass cup I started with, so I had to add a little more. I need a smaller glass cup (need to order a small graduated cylinder.

 

Things I noticed.

 

I can't feel 6mL of vodka - that's great, but I still want to use less.

 

The K appeared completely dissolved after a few minutes of swirling, but after I added more liquid, there were fine particles floating. I poured back and forth a few times between two glass jars, but the particles were still suspended. Is this filler? Would letting the K sit in vodka longer allow it to dissolve better? Anyway, I pulled out my waste, downed my dose (dribbled a little bit out of my mouth, and panicked, then calmed down). Then I poured fresh water into both jars to rinse them out and drank it all just to get rid of any residue.

 

How long do any of you dissolve doses in advance?

 

Plan is to just hold at any point, if I start feeling too lousy.

 

Really struggling here apart from trying to get off this stuff (which so far isn't a struggle, but lets face it: just started 15 mins ago). Things at home are just BAD with my adult son & autistic husband (just diagnosed). I recently found out my son was abused by a family member when he was a kid. He is an adult now, as mentioned, and I have had zero recourse as he will not let me tell anyone. It sucks, but since he is an adult, its not mine to tell. It's very lonely. Itot is also very lonely to be in a relationship with someone who struggles to show compassion & empathy. I hate the  holidays. I have my own PTSD. I am far away from the family I most want to be around. My sister passed away on NYE 10 years ago which is a huge part of hating the holiday. Also, I have a job in the ER that sucks my soul right out of my chest. The overdoses, drunk assholes, the people coming in with seizures due to withdrawal. The healthy 45 year old that drops dead of a massive MI because he didn't have enough years to build collateral circulation. The people that want 5 star service and don't feel they should have to wait because someone's 7 year old kid is being coded. And you can't just say: STFU someone's kid just died, because you know, HIPAA. The people who swing at me and call me the most terrible names. The people that want us to fix 95 year old grandma. The people who won't make their loved one a DNR, which is the compassionate thing to do. The terrible & futile feeling of being able to actually help so very little. The feeling of running out of compassion each & every day.

 

My last patient of the day as I'm checking her in: "Ma'am are you still currently feeling suicidal?" Her: "WTF do you think?" I walk out of the room. My colleague says: "What do you need?" Me: "I need some compassion cause I'm all out for the day."

 

Next time you go into an ER, try to remember the people caring for you might have their own serious struggles, perhaps worse that your own. We need compassion too. And when you show us an iota of thanks, you fill up our bank a little, and it makes us *want* to take care of you. Treat us poorly, we'll still take care of you, but remember you're stealing a little piece of our soul.

 

Thanks for listening =)

 

[[or...]]

The K appeared completely dissolved after a few minutes of swirling, but after I added more liquid, there were fine particles floating. I poured back and forth a few times between two glass jars, but the particles were still suspended. Is this filler? Would letting the K sit in vodka longer allow it to dissolve better?

 

I let my valium dissolve for about 5 minutes. Yes, there were still particles floating when I added the water, but they are indeed binders & fillers.

 

I only used 1 ml of vodka. It was enough to cover the pill.

 

I never made up doses in advance. I made up a new dose every day, threw out my taper amount, then drank the rest.

 

I'm terribly sorry to hear how you are treated in the ER. Heavens, you're there to help people! I was so grateful when I had to go the the ER a couple of weeks ago. I had diverticulitis and the staff took such excellent care of me.  I hope I expressed my thanks appropriately  . They/you have a hard job. But thank god they're there.

 

Best to you,

 

Katz

[[El...]]

Katz,

 

I'm sure you were an amazing patient; you are very kind on this forum.

 

And thanks for reading and listening to me vent. I've been beating myself up so much for becoming dependent & feeling like I've failed at life. Writing all of it out last night gave me a little self-compassion. Life is rough. It happens. I'm moving forward and that's all I can do.

 

And finally, thank you for so much for the feedback about the vodka solvent. I think I'll be fine using a couple mLs less.

 

El Janea

[[ha...]]

You don't need more vodka to cover the area, or new equipment either!

 

I would send a picture but all my glasses are dirty at the moment.

 

Take a very small dish with a relatively narrow mouth like a mini ramekin. Gently lay your solution glass at an angle on top of the smaller container. This will make any liquid in your solution glass pool up in a small, pill-sized area.

 

Think of it like drinking a coke with a straw and tilting the can to get the last bit, it's the same geometry. Good luck!