~ Window Then Back To Hell In A Huge Wave ~

[[Se...]]

Hi SeptGirl,  good news at the neurologist '. Nothing wrong. Bloodtests all OK. The positive result in an earlier test for Lyme's must be  from an old infection. Neurologically everything OK. Muscles are tight, so I should try to relax them with yoga or mindfulness,  he suggested.  Wishing you good luck with your next cut, hope it improves things. We can all do with a brake from all of this.

Time for bed now. Fingers crossed it will be a good sleep.

 

@Trochsetter....

 

That’s not good news.  That’s GREAT news!  So happy you have one less medical condition to worry about. 

 

I meditate/mindfulness every morning for about an hour.  It does calm my brain down.  I also use EFT “tapping” too.  There are several apps for meditation that are helpful and TappingSolution is an app I use...obviously for tapping.  I hope I’m not breaking the rules mentioning an app by name but it’s the only tapping app I know about. I don’t pay for the apps; I just use whatever free lessons are available.  There are tapping videos on YouTube too. 

 

Maybe massage and/or chiropractic care may help?  Yoga sounds promising too. 

 

Started on trazodone last might.  I got about 5 hours of sleep!  Insert “giddy”! 

 

I’m hoping it continues to work and maybe improve anxiety which, in turn, could help with nausea?  My prayers for this to happen anyway.

 

I hope you’re having good days and nights.  I hope we all get better days and nights.

 

SG

💜

[[Se...]]

Hi, fellow unhappy tummy people:

 

I wanted to see how all of you are doing and let you know that I think of you and what you/we are going through.

 

My vertigo and nausea sneak up on me at times. I'm not suffering from it as horribly as you are. But when it does, I spend some of that time asking for relief and healing for those who are having it mostly all of the time.

 

I have so much pain and spasm at the base of my skull, my neck, and my upper back and shoulders-- it seems like the back of the brain may be where the nausea/vertigo trigger is. I don't know that at all, but it just feels that way, even though I have pervasive symptoms of other things, too.

 

My neck can get so tight that it actually snaps my head a little to one side. It makes me self-conscious about going out in public.

 

I haven't tried benadryl for symptoms yet, so I think I will on bad days. Septgirl, I feel for all of the anti-nausea drugs that were held out to you with a promise they would help and then they didn't. That is a real hit to the spirit.

 

Do you all have Instacart grocery delivery or Walmart delivery where you live? That has really helped me. Or some grocery stores let you do the ordering online and then you (or whoever does the shopping) only have to pick them up at a time of your choosing. That helps me mentally to feel like I can still contribute in small ways to lessen the tasks that others have on their lists.

 

I have been nibbling on oat crackers called Benevita or something like that quite a bit. I usually try to keep carbs to a minimum, but sometimes that's the only thing I can get down. I've lost a lot of weight, and I'm irritated that I can't pick WHERE I lose fat. I know from experience that when I begin to eat normally again that I'll gain the weight back quicker than I would like, so it's frustrating that we can't control this. I look forward to the day when I can't even bear the sight of the cracker box, because that will mean that I am better.

 

@BaronessBlixen...

 

Again, thank you for your kind thoughts and empathy. I’m sorry you too are suffering with your severe muscle spasms.  That sounds excruciating and I imagine very difficult to live with on a daily basis. I’ve been spared that horror.  I guess it falls under the universal banner of “we all have our crosses to bear”.

 

I started a new medication last night, trazodone 50mg.  I got about 5 hours of sleep and though still somewhat queasy, I don’t feel as debilitated with nausea today.  Maybe with continued use, my anxiety will lesson and nausea too.  That’s my prayer anyway.

 

My husband is the shopper of the family.  He actually enjoys it and has done it for years. It’s good to know shopping alternatives are available!  Thanks.

 

I’ve done online shopping for other things.  I’m by no means a shop-o-holic, but it is very convenient and eliminates the hassle of driving on crowded roads and standing in long lines especially during the holiday season.  I’ve become agoraphobic during this process and look foreword to getting out and about for other activities when I’m well again.

 

Weight loss is a huge problem for me...more than 50 pounds. I’m barely maintaining my weight.  I force myself to eat and I am eating healthy foods. I’m carb intolerant because my sugar goes too high.  Never had that before either.  Thankfully, all diabetes tests were negative!  Just another benzo withdrawal symptom.  Up until yesterday, I had eliminated gluten from my diet for about the last year because of hypothyroidism/Hashimoto’s.  I don’t feel any better off gluten than on and I don’t have celiac disease.  It did lower my thyroid antibodies by half, but nutritionally, I need to add more foods to my diet.  I need to gain weight.  I had a photo taken with my youngest son on Thanksgiving and was horrified by how thin I must look to others!  I look like a skeleton.  Disturbing.

 

I’ll have to try those BelVita crackers now that I’m reintroducing gluten.  I like to nibble on crackers and they have different varieties/flavors.  I think I’ll enjoy them.

 

I hope your days get better. I hope we all get better.  Soon.

 

SH

💜

[[Tr...]]

Hi,  had a terrible night. Maybe 2,5 hours of very uneasy sleep. No trembling or pain, but feeling horrible. Don't know how or what, but awful. Felt like I was going to explode. Up to have breakfast around 5.45 am. Back to bed, no joy. Up again 6.30 Now pain has set in, as well as stiffness. Am at a loss right now. C/T or updose or hold? Feeling quite desperate.

[[Se...]]

Hi,  had a terrible night. Maybe 2,5 hours of very uneasy sleep. No trembling or pain, but feeling horrible. Don't know how or what, but awful. Felt like I was going to explode. Up to have breakfast around 5.45 am. Back to bed, no joy. Up again 6.30 Now pain has set in, as well as stiffness. Am at a loss right now. C/T or updose or hold? Feeling quite desperate.

 

I’m sorry for you.  I had such high hopes being in the new med trazodone.  I had a decent night the first night; last night...terrible!  Took med at 10:45, woke up at 11:45, woke up at 2:15 a.m. and that was it for sleeping.  Exhausted and full blown nausea again.  I took another 1/4 tab at 3:30 a..m. hoping to fall back to sleep.  Nope.  Got up for the day at 5 o’clock feeling shitty.

 

I just don’t know where the misery will end.  Why are the days so variable when nothing has changed med wise from the day before? 

 

I hate benzos.  I need to make some decisions with my dosing too.  Holding hasn’t helped.  I don’t want to up dose.  I may try the larger cut.

 

I hope you feel better as the day wears on.

 

SG

💜

[[Tr...]]

Hi SeptGirl,  that's almost a copy of my night! I' m also flabbergasted by the difference one day can make to the following one. Crazy!

Hope we both may feel better as the day drags on. I wish us all strength to carry on!

[[ho...]]

SG- Regarding high blood sugars now: If all your diabetic tests OK, never had it before, it's wd.  I'm not diabetic, but relative was. Have Hashimoto's and my blood sugars would periodically be high with wd though A1CHgb under 5.  Thyroid hormones greatly influence insulin intolerance. If the cell membrane doesn't "open" when the insulin is released, then the sugar from foods stays in the blood stream. You're insensitive to the insulin. Part of the weight loss story; even if you eat, the cells seem to not receive nourishment.  I wouldn't restrict complex carbs due to high BS because of the weight loss, but I would recommend Taurine to get it into the cells. Never had these highs until withdrawal. When I recovered, it went away. Dropped 15 pounds, but able to gain it back.

 

Benzos and thyroid hormone compete for some of the same brain receptors.  Digestion is usually shot by Benzos and metabolites further complicating things. The thyroid tries to slow down during periods of great stress. ICU patients get low thyroid. It's a famine adaptation that unfortunately affects all kinds of things.

*Side note- If Irish ethnic background, very good at maintaining high BS when starving. Scientists think it's  from potato famine.

 

Taurine, a pseudo amino acid, will bring down the high sugars and give some relaxation to physical symptoms like shaking. You need to monitor sugars with a glucometer, no guessing. Taurine has wonderful known benefits for diabetics especially healing for the eyes. From my experience, try to take it daily, it may help some of the other symptoms as well. Some days I could, others my sugar dropped and I couldn't. My dose was 50-100mg at one time with bites of rice or banana, or nut butter.  If horrible shaking/tremors, up to 5 doses/day. Always monitored BS.

 

Diet-  Have had relentless nausea too. If you can stand it, try banana shake w coconut milk and protein powder. One sip every 30 minutes.  Concerned w high BS some mentioned limiting carbs.  I understand no simple sugar to stabilizing BS, but eating complex carbs like rice will be helpful. Try some with a bite of protein before you attempt sleep. You may be bottoming out BS at night as body tries to sleep which flips on adrenals. (NO taurine before bed as you won't be awake to monitor symptoms. Hypoglycemia and wd mimic one another.)

 

For nausea, I used 25-50mg Dramamine.  Zofrain 2-4mg worked 25% of the time. Benadryl way too strong even at low dose. Nothing else helped. You can take it every 8 hours. If horrible nausea, I did it around the clock to get a handle on it.

 

There's been discussion of smell sensitivity. Genetically women smell better than men.  If you're low in the trace mineral Molybdenum, you will be hyper sensitive to smells. Why? You cannot process metabolites from alcohol/drugs properly resulting in a build up of acetylaldehyde, a nasty compound. In wd, the liver and all those enzymes are getting a beating.  This supports the needed enzymes to help decrease symptoms. RDA for Mo is tiny as too much/too little is bad. Not medical advice; but what I tried. AK doctor recommends 300micrograms per day in 3 divided doses for several weeks. I've done it, and my histamine/ allergy type symptoms went away. You can always try a small dose and evaluate results.

 

I lived on non-flush Niacin and liposomal vitamin C as both can help anxiety. (Dr. Abrahm Hoffer's work. Has YT vids.) I literally popped 500mg-1000mg of non-flush niacin as many times a day as I thought I needed it. When I got drowsy, that was enough. (Side benefit is that suddenly sprouted new hair like Chia Pet. Previously it had come out in handfuls.) The lipo C supports the liver and helps the poor adrenals. It comes in 1000mg doses, but you can use 500mg and fold over the foil packet in the frig for next dose. Again, great for anxiety/sleeping.  Take around food with proper recommended wait time.  It can also alter BS so check.

 

Withdrawal is quite the marathon.

 

[[Tr...]]

Thankfully I had a much better night again. Slept for over 5,5 hours. No trembling or nausea.  No anxiety. Got up for ten minutes around six o' clock. Back to bed until 7.15 am. Stiff and painful muscles. I hope you slept well too, SeptGirl.  Hope the new meds work. Wishing us all a symptom free day.

[[Se...]]

Thankfully I had a much better night again. Slept for over 5,5 hours. No trembling or nausea.  No anxiety. Got up for ten minutes around six o' clock. Back to bed until 7.15 am. Stiff and painful muscles. I hope you slept well too, SeptGirl.  Hope the new meds work. Wishing us all a symptom free day.

 

 

@Trochsetter...

 

Oddly enough, so did I!  I’m conflicted with the pattern.  Are we sleeping better every other night because we’re getting better OR we’re so exhausted from shitty/non existent sleep the night before?  I’m hoping it’s we’re getting better.

 

I dosed the new med differently.  I took a half tab when I was ready to sleep and the second half when I woke up the first time.  I woke up a couple of times during the night but was able to fall back to sleep. I also logged in a hefty 5.5 hours!  Waking up at 5:15 a.m. instead of 3 or 4 a.m. was just shy of a miracle!! I was still queasy but not as severe as usual.  I’m really hoping the new med will make a difference overall...sleep, anxiety and most of all, nausea. 

 

Maybe we’re both turning a corner!  God knows we’ve suffered enough!

 

I hope your painful muscles eased and you were able to enjoy your day.  I’m in the USA...are you across the pond?  Your timeline is always ahead of mine.

 

Positive thoughts for another better night’s sleep and calm, later wake up in the morning!

 

SG

💜

[[Se...]]

SG- Regarding high blood sugars now: If all your diabetic tests OK, never had it before, it's wd.  I'm not diabetic, but relative was. Have Hashimoto's and my blood sugars would periodically be high with wd though A1CHgb under 5.  Thyroid hormones greatly influence insulin intolerance. If the cell membrane doesn't "open" when the insulin is released, then the sugar from foods stays in the blood stream. You're insensitive to the insulin. Part of the weight loss story; even if you eat, the cells seem to not receive nourishment.  I wouldn't restrict complex carbs due to high BS because of the weight loss, but I would recommend Taurine to get it into the cells. Never had these highs until withdrawal. When I recovered, it went away. Dropped 15 pounds, but able to gain it back.

 

Benzos and thyroid hormone compete for some of the same brain receptors.  Digestion is usually shot by Benzos and metabolites further complicating things. The thyroid tries to slow down during periods of great stress. ICU patients get low thyroid. It's a famine adaptation that unfortunately affects all kinds of things.

*Side note- If Irish ethnic background, very good at maintaining high BS when starving. Scientists think it's  from potato famine.

 

Taurine, a pseudo amino acid, will bring down the high sugars and give some relaxation to physical symptoms like shaking. You need to monitor sugars with a glucometer, no guessing. Taurine has wonderful known benefits for diabetics especially healing for the eyes. From my experience, try to take it daily, it may help some of the other symptoms as well. Some days I could, others my sugar dropped and I couldn't. My dose was 50-100mg at one time with bites of rice or banana, or nut butter.  If horrible shaking/tremors, up to 5 doses/day. Always monitored BS.

 

Diet-  Have had relentless nausea too. If you can stand it, try banana shake w coconut milk and protein powder. One sip every 30 minutes.  Concerned w high BS some mentioned limiting carbs.  I understand no simple sugar to stabilizing BS, but eating complex carbs like rice will be helpful. Try some with a bite of protein before you attempt sleep. You may be bottoming out BS at night as body tries to sleep which flips on adrenals. (NO taurine before bed as you won't be awake to monitor symptoms. Hypoglycemia and wd mimic one another.)

 

For nausea, I used 25-50mg Dramamine.  Zofrain 2-4mg worked 25% of the time. Benadryl way too strong even at low dose. Nothing else helped. You can take it every 8 hours. If horrible nausea, I did it around the clock to get a handle on it.

 

There's been discussion of smell sensitivity. Genetically women smell better than men.  If you're low in the trace mineral Molybdenum, you will be hyper sensitive to smells. Why? You cannot process metabolites from alcohol/drugs properly resulting in a build up of acetylaldehyde, a nasty compound. In wd, the liver and all those enzymes are getting a beating.  This supports the needed enzymes to help decrease symptoms. RDA for Mo is tiny as too much/too little is bad. Not medical advice; but what I tried. AK doctor recommends 300micrograms per day in 3 divided doses for several weeks. I've done it, and my histamine/ allergy type symptoms went away. You can always try a small dose and evaluate results.

 

I lived on non-flush Niacin and liposomal vitamin C as both can help anxiety. (Dr. Abrahm Hoffer's work. Has YT vids.) I literally popped 500mg-1000mg of non-flush niacin as many times a day as I thought I needed it. When I got drowsy, that was enough. (Side benefit is that suddenly sprouted new hair like Chia Pet. Previously it had come out in handfuls.) The lipo C supports the liver and helps the poor adrenals. It comes in 1000mg doses, but you can use 500mg and fold over the foil packet in the frig for next dose. Again, great for anxiety/sleeping.  Take around food with proper recommended wait time.  It can also alter BS so check.

 

Withdrawal is quite the marathon.

 

@hothot...

 

Lots of info to process! All diabetes testing was negative.  Glucose was high but everything else was good! I am checking blood sugar with a glucometer.  I stopped tormenting myself by taking readings when I know for sure my sugar is high.  I’ve checked in the middle of the night (3 to 4 a.m.) when I wake up anxious, sweating and nauseated.  It’s running high 90’s low 100’s then. I’m pretty certain my glucose levels aren’t bottoming out...ever. 

 

I gave up gluten almost a year ago because of high thyroid/Hashimoto’s and high antibodies.  They did decrease by half, but as of three days ago, I’m gradually adding it back in.  I don’t feel any better off gluten than on.  I guess the antibodies numbers tell a story but I need to gain weight.  More than 50 pounds lost and really struggling to maintain my current weight.  I am mostly Irish so the potato famine story intrigued me.

 

I’m just very leery adding supplements right now because of the nausea.  It seams even slight deviations in diet wreaks havoc in my tummy.  I’ve used every antiemetic prescription or over the counter.  None have been effective and a lot of the side effects just aren’t worth it either.

 

TSH is stable on levothyroxine.  Blood sugar is all over the place. I don’t eat simple sugars (miss them desperately).  I do still try to limit other carbs because higher sugar levels make me feel even worse.  Protein, fruits (low glycemic) and veggies are my current go to foods along with healthy fats like an avocado daily. 

 

I just really hope all these adverse conditions change once I’m off clonazepam.  I thought there would be some relief getting off alprazolam but I guess the CNS says otherwise since I’m still tapering a benzo.  I started on trazodone for sleep and anxiety.  Mixed bag the first three doses.  I’m not expecting miracles but am hoping it helps with insomnia/anxiety/nausea in the near future.

 

Thanks for all the info.  While I may not be taking advantage of supplements now, it’s good to have the information for the healing phase of this hellacious journey.

 

SG

💜

 

[[Tr...]]

Hi SeptGirl,  great to see you slept so much better and being less nauseous!  You're absolutely right: there is a huge difference between waking up at 4 or around 6. I had noticed the "night on night off" thing too. Could be either one: we might be getting a bit better or it's just because we are exhausted from the bad night before. Let's hope we're getting a bit better. Yes I am "across the pond"  in the Netherlands.  So my day starts much earlier. I could well have had lunch while you're not even ready for breakfast. I' ve been experimenting with my pills just like you have: taking a small part of the dose just to get to sleep and taking the remainder after waking up early in the night. Sometimes it works,  sometimes it doesn't. My painful muscles are always worst in the morning,  come midday things improve and I can mostly go for a short walk in the afternoon.  Evenings being the best part of the day. And before bedtime,  here comes the new load of poison and it all starts over again, o, how I hate this! I love it, how you ended on a positive note! Thank you so much for that, SeptGirl!  That's all we can do, soldier on and hope for the best. Wishing you a wonderful Sunday.  Stay strong!

[[Se...]]

@[Tr...]

 

Unfortunately my positive vibe didn’t work.  I’ve been awake since 3:00 a.m. with horrendous nausea, looping thoughts and anxiety.  I don’t get it?  Maybe, in my case, it’s the new medication and an adjustment period.  I’d rather be sleep deprived than nauseated. I just don’t know how much more I can take or what, if anything, will resolve it? I’m moving forward with tapering.  Holding didn’t help. Getting the poison out of my body seems to be the best alternative.

 

Mornings are my worst too.  Afternoons are slightly better and evenings are usually the best part of my day.  A very narrow window of feeling “okay”.  Just the thought of going to bed at night and wondering what hell awaits me in the morning brings despair.  I really do try to have a positive attitude.  I write in a journal every night with hopeful, positive thoughts.  I’m not a religious freak, but pray every day and night for healing.  From my lips to God’s ears.

 

I hope your Sunday is going well.  I hope mine quickly improves.

 

SG

💜

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Hi SeptGirl,  sorry to hear that. I can 100% relate to the way you feel. I get those thoughts of desperation too. Is this ever going to get better? My morning is about to turn into afternoon. Has been a bad one so far, with stomach and colon pain. The fact that it's been raining all morning doesn't help...Let's hope things improve as the day goes on. We all deserve it. People,  not on benzos,  have no idea what we have to go through. If we could only turn back the clock. But we can't,  so the only choice we have is to look forward and pray this misery will one day be gone. I' m still holding,  but not sure what to do. Perhaps tapering a little again might help. Hold on!

[[de...]]

I found 'flat' ginger fizzy drink helped a little with nausea.    Not much help.  But some.  I had a  bad bout of it about 2 months ago.  It left as quickly as it appeared.  Just like everything else in this slow sorry saga.  Thought I'd left it behind, but it returned about 2 weeks ago.  Now gone.  Shorter duration.

 

Nausea was worse for me post withdrawal.  During taper was manageable.  Weight loss too. 

 

I know many people have had it (nausea) far worse than me.  But wanted to say, mine seems to have resolved, or is resolving.  You are right in saying nausea prevents from doing anything.  Disabling. 

 

Found the 'Potato Famine' theory interesting.  Thank you.  I think I may have a variant.   

 

Things are definitely improving at this 9 months.  Big psychological shift these past few days.  My shattered brain is beginning to think for the first time in a long time.  Less urgency.. 

 

The drug, plus the trauma of removing the drug is/can be mind shattering.  Amazingly, I somehow survived.  And so will we all. 

 

It happens. 

 

Dee

 

 

 

[[Se...]]

Hi SeptGirl,  sorry to hear that. I can 100% relate to the way you feel. I get those thoughts of desperation too. Is this ever going to get better? My morning is about to turn into afternoon. Has been a bad one so far, with stomach and colon pain. The fact that it's being raining all morning doesn't help...Let's hope things improve as the day goes on. We all deserve it. People,  not on benzos,  have no idea what we have to go through. If we could only turn back the clock. But we can't,  so the only choice we have is to look forward and pray this misery will one day be gone. I' m still holding,  but not sure what to do. Perhaps tapering a little again might help. Hold on!

 

@Trochsetter..

 

Sorry you’re suffering too.  I just don’t understand the wild fluctuations from day to day when the meds are the same. 

 

I’m really struggling today trying to eat.  I’ve managed a yogurt and a few grapes.  I’ve been awake for more than 7 hours.  I’m really hoping for a “rally” today.  Looks a little dim but I won’t stop hoping!!!

 

You’re right...people on benzos don’t get it.  They don’t get the slow taper either.  At this point I’m wondering if a slow taper isn’t just dragging out the misery and pain. 

 

I may regroup my thoughts on this.  I’m not sure.  I may wait to see if the new med will begin to alleviate the symptoms. Everything is such a crap shoot.

 

I wish you a peaceful night’s sleep and a calm morning wake up.  You deserve it.  We all do.

 

SG

💜

[[Se...]]

I found 'flat' ginger fizzy drink helped a little with nausea.    Not much help.  But some.  I had a  bad bout of it about 2 months ago.  It left as quickly as it appeared.  Just like everything else in this slow sorry saga.  Thought I'd left it behind, but it returned about 2 weeks ago.  Now gone.  Shorter duration.

 

Nausea was worse for me post withdrawal.  During taper was manageable.  Weight loss too. 

 

I know many people have had it (nausea) far worse than me.  But wanted to say, mine seems to have resolved, or is resolving.  You are right in saying nausea prevents from doing anything.  Disabling. 

 

Found the 'Potato Famine' theory interesting.  Thank you.  I think I may have a variant.   

 

Things are definitely improving at this 9 months.  Big psychological shift these past few days.  My shattered brain is beginning to think for the first time in a long time.  Less urgency.. 

 

The drug, plus the trauma of removing the drug is/can be mind shattering.  Amazingly, I somehow survived.  And so will we all. 

 

It happens. 

 

Dee

 

@deadwoodgone...

 

Thanks Dee.  I’m glad to hear you’re improving.  Sorry for the setbacks.  Nausea is absolutely debilitating.  Everything is so difficult when nauseated. 

 

I have a ginger ale in front of me.  Slow sips.  It doesn’t really help but it’s something. I just don’t know what’s fueling the nausea? I thought it was alprazolam.  I’m off that almost 2 months.  I thought it was Celexa.  I’m off that for more than 4 months...I don’t remember exactly when. 

 

I was nauseated before my taper began, that’s why I decided no more benzos.  I wasn’t on clonazepam then so I suppose I’m tolerant to all benzos at this point. 

 

I keep plodding along.  Many before have done it.  I will not be the exception.

 

Be well.

 

SG

💜

[[ba...]]

For you folks in waves. yesterday I hit the worst wave I have had. The benzo doesn't seem to do much of anything. As this wave is seriously acute, am wondering what a wave feels like to you folks who get them hard. Mostly, does it feel like your benzo has nominal affect?

 

I am also on seroquel, and updosed for about 5 days, am seriously thinking this is screwing me up. I was desperate for relief, and took one in the afternoons, adding to my tally.

 

I hate how it feels, but it did calm the wd a bit, although it doesn't feel good, makes one dopey and wears off after a bit.

 

Mostly want input about a wave so severe that the benzo isn't doing much, and the wd is extreme.

 

Thanks!