It's not possible

[[Lu...]]

I’m not sure to what symptoms you are referring, but it’s virtually impossible to not find someone who has similar symptoms you are having and survived.  Read the success stories. 

 

Sofa

 

Besides a massive pain in my head 24/7. 23+ YEARS RUNNING.

I also suffer from suicide inducing muscles cramps.

Combine the two of those issues and I have to walk a fine line between staying or going.

I haven't taken clonazepam in over two years.

To drive home my point that I don't find clonazepam 'ohhh so bad I took 4 2 mg pills last night as an experiment with a glass of vodka.

Did I feel some effects of the clonazepam? A little, very little. The vodka with the clonazepam, aaaah maybe.

How do I feel this morning. No different then if I took some aspirin and a glass of vodka.

Maybe it is mind over matter.

I've only have 23 years experience with an naturally formed injury the neurosurgeon's don't understand.

Bad thought, bad thought whats your going to do, what's going to do when the come for you.

Fortunately I can control mine or I would of ended up like Charles Joseph Whitman.

Yes chronic pain can set you off if you can't get a hold of it.

A wacky sense of humor sure helps even if it annoys some others.

 

 

 

[[bo...]]

If your headaches went away after the first few months, maybe this will go away soon too. That's a really good sign actually. I would look into some alternative treatments before reinstating. If you have money you can buy yourself a lot of time by trying some stuff. Maybe a different kind of medication besides benzos.

 

My symptoms have morphed so much over the past 10 months. I forgot about a lot of the physical symptoms.  I was actually put on Remeron a month or so ago in the psych ward along with Seroquel for a week.  The remeron has stopped the pacing akathisia I had but hasn't done anything for the mental symptoms.  My psychiatrist wants me to try Luvox instead but I read that you need to get off everything and let the brain heal.  My intuition tells me that the hyerawareness OCD isn't going to go away. I just need the dam racing thoughts and earworms to stop.  Everything I read and watch just repeats in my head like a parrot.

 

If you read that here, keep in mind no one here is an expert and everything you read here is an opinion unless it’s backed up with links to valid research.

 

If you believe the OCD isn’t going to go away, I would give the psychiatrist’s recommendation a try. It might help, and you do need some help with this. It’s serious and you’re not getting much help here.  We are only a peer support forum and cannot give medical advice, only laymen’s opinions.

 

Challis, other medications may not help at all and could just make it worse. I know this person is already taking Remeron, at a psychiatrist's request, and it's not helping the OCD at all.

[[Th...]]

My mother also suffers from chronic headaches 24/7 for the past 30 years. She takes pills and they barely work.

[[so...]]

I've realized that I am worse than 95% of people on this forum.  I'm not downplaying anyone's suffering by any means but my symptoms are beyond torture.  I have 1000s of thoughts flying around in my brain every minute.  I just went for an hour-long walk and my thoughts are bouncing from one topic to another.  It has been like this for 11.5 months straight now (including my fast taper). 

 

Nothing exists outside of my head.  The symptoms change in intensity all throughout the day but I am NEVER distracted from them. 

 

It's like trying to distract while someone is talking to you non-stop.  My thoughts are so LOUD and provoke so much fear.

 

I keep searching this forum trying to find someone who has been through this a survived.  But so far no luck. 

 

I am considering trying a reinstatement to maybe have a little relief because either way, I don't see myself surviving this.

 

Sorry for the constant negative posts lately.  I'm so desperate.  I really don't fight to thoughts and let them be there.  The hyperawareness OCD makes every thoughts feel intrusive and the panic/fear/angry it provokes is non-stop and tormenting. 

 

Edit: Removed statement against forum rules.

 

FINAO,

 

I understand you are in a constant loop of negative thinking, but you stating that you believe you are worse off than 95% of the people on this forum just isn’t true.

 

You are opening up lots of threads and posting the same theme.  I think you are writing more than reading.  I don’t believe you would jump to the idea that you are worse off than 95% of the members on this forum if you read a lot more posts/threads.

 

There are many members on this forum whose withdrawal was so severe that even other members doubted they would ever heal.  You don’t fit into this category.  You would see that if you would read how truly bad it has been for many people.

 

Please do your best to change your negative thoughts by replacing them with positive thoughts.  Neuroplasticity is a scientific fact.  You constantly reform your neurons, but this constant reformation can also restructure your neurons to always think negatively.

 

I know this is a very difficult time for you.  Being so early in the game, you are going to need to save your energy for the long haul of recovery. 

 

Fake it till you make it.  Think of all the things you CAN do, even the slightest of things.  I hate to see you paving a path filled with negative thoughts so early on in the process.

 

Good luck, sweetheart.  This is not for the faint of heart and I know you can carve out a smoother road for yourself.  The early days are so filled with fear, but this isn’t mental illness, this is physiological.  As your brain and CNS continue to rebalance you will feel better.

 

Sofa

[[Ch...]]

If your headaches went away after the first few months, maybe this will go away soon too. That's a really good sign actually. I would look into some alternative treatments before reinstating. If you have money you can buy yourself a lot of time by trying some stuff. Maybe a different kind of medication besides benzos.

 

My symptoms have morphed so much over the past 10 months. I forgot about a lot of the physical symptoms.  I was actually put on Remeron a month or so ago in the psych ward along with Seroquel for a week.  The remeron has stopped the pacing akathisia I had but hasn't done anything for the mental symptoms.  My psychiatrist wants me to try Luvox instead but I read that you need to get off everything and let the brain heal.  My intuition tells me that the hyerawareness OCD isn't going to go away. I just need the dam racing thoughts and earworms to stop.  Everything I read and watch just repeats in my head like a parrot.

 

If you read that here, keep in mind no one here is an expert and everything you read here is an opinion unless it’s backed up with links to valid research.

 

If you believe the OCD isn’t going to go away, I would give the psychiatrist’s recommendation a try. It might help, and you do need some help with this. It’s serious and you’re not getting much help here.  We are only a peer support forum and cannot give medical advice, only laymen’s opinions.

 

Challis, other medications may not help at all and could just make it worse. I know this person is already taking Remeron, at a psychiatrist's request, and it's not helping the OCD at all.

 

They also may help, no one knows until they try. But when someone is seriously suicidal 24/7 it’s ridiculous IMO not to try a medication instead. Weighing one’s life against one’s idea that all medication is harmful?

 

Here’s what google has to say about treatment for OCD thoughts.  Remeron isn’t one of them.

 

Four SSRIs that have been shown to be effective in treating OCD and are FDA-approved to treat adults with OCD in the United States are:

Sertraline (brand name Zoloft)

Fluoxetine (brand name Prozac)

Fluvoxamine (brand name Luvox)

Paroxetine (brand name Paxil)

 

[[ea...]]

Failureisnotanoption,

I don't want to burst your bubble but several other people I know were just as bad as you. I sure was. My original Success Story was moved to Blogs and now is totally missing. My current Blog I did try to describe my awful withdrawal but because I am good with words, I have never adequately described the utter hell I went through for OVER a year. What words do you use to describe the complete hell of suffering through a truly awful cold turkey? I had perhaps 75 weird symptoms all going on at once. Both mental and physical. It was utter hell and I often thought I could not bear it another minute. The ONLY reason I didn't reinstate was my extreme paranoia about doctors then. And that was because my doctor had forced me to go cold turkey off a thirty year addiction to a LOT of benzos. I also know several other people with similar histories.

Its true about benzo wd. EVERYONE thinks they are the "worst case ever." I am not sure why, I just know that's true. I have been on BB for 7 years now and over time have met many people who are suffering just as bad as you are.

 

Sofa, really good post. Thank you!

 

Luckyme, I would like to hear more from you. Klonapin 8 mgs is a lot but so was the 6mgs I went CT off of. I am willing tobet your withdrawal was just as bad as mine, or Finals.

 

Benzos truly are the gift that keeps on giving. NOT!

SO gald I don't take them now.

east

[Guest [Fa...]]

I tried one dose of Anafranil and had the most severe reaction I ended up in the psych ward and put on Remeron and Seroquel.  I can't tolerate the start-up anxiety from SSRI's.  Just going up from 15mg of Remeron to 22.5 sent me to the moon.  It seems like there is nothing that can be done in such a severe state.  Going back on benzos will just risk further kindling.  Even if it did work it would only be short-lived until it stopped working. Apparently you can't heal while on other medications.  I missed my Remeron dose last night and my brain just tortured me every single second about it. I haven't had one normal thought all day long.  My mind just loops and races about one thing and won't let it go no matter what I try to do to distract.  Now I am stuck on something that doesn't even do anything. 

[[Lu...]]

Luckyme, I would like to hear more from you. Klonapin 8 mgs is a lot but so was the 6mgs I went CT off of. I am willing tobet your withdrawal was just as bad as mine, or Finals.

 

After reading about so many people trying to jump off .5mg and knowing someone personally who went though the same withdrawal.

I wanted to find out if I could take 8 mg at once and see if they would have some negative effect on me.

They didn't.

I took them so when I read about others being concerned or afraid of jumping off such a tiny amount I could then tell them about my experience.

These people need to know it's not all doom and gloom doing so.

I feel some success stories need to be told so they too can see if they can follow my success.

I haven't experienced any withdrawal systems as far as I can tell.

This after a 2 + year ct of 8 mg minium to as much as another 8, 16, or more daily.

I'm going to borrow a tune from Elton John,

"I'm still standing, ya ya ya"

OH my 23 + year long headache, massive headache. Nothing's changed.

Questions?

 

 

 

 

 

[[Th...]]

I guess you’re one of the lucky ones when it comes to Benzos. I came off .5 k after 6 weeks on it and went into a terror state. Some people get hit harder

[[ea...]]

failureisnotanoption,

I think you are putting two and two together here. This was something I had to learn the hard way. I am a nurse and I used to believe in drugs and pills. Now I don't. The fewer drugs I take, the better.  Antidepressants and antipsychotics are terribly potent drugs and can do similar damage as benzos, but maybe in not quite the same way.

I am so sorry you are going through this ordeal. But please, don not lose all hope.

My guess is that for whatever reason, you are now super sensitive to "brain affecting" drugs. You seem to over react to them.

Your current symptoms are, sadly, normal. I had exactly the same stuff plus a whole lot more. My first year off was a total nightmare. The ONLY reason I survived as because I found BB. No lie.

Please keep going.

east