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ACUTE Symptoms on .5K but cut too rapid, held too long, other meds, chd dosing


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Need advice.  I have a long story but truth be told, I have had a rough couple of years and had a lot of med changes last year and was experiencing anxiety/depression/health issues.  Started taking K daily about 18 months ago and tried different AD.  I was still depressed/anxious this last fall (which I think K is partly to blame for), and decided I wanted off the K.  Was only taking 1X per night.  Things weren’t getting better and I was already having I/D withdrawals and wanted off.  I cut my dose, which had at the time been 1.5ish (up to 2 at one point but only shortly) per night to .5 per night – I only suffered really from increased anxiety/sleep issues during that time of each cut until returning back to baseline.  I was put on a PPI, however, for gastritis/esophagitis and that’s where things went down hill for me.  I was more depressed on the PPI and couldn’t sleep.  Went to Mayo after 4 months on it, found that esophagitis had cleared up (was not acid reflux related) and GI specialist had me taper the PPI, which I now realize was too fast – not because of acid rebound but because of the shock to my nervous system and my brain.  As soon as I stopped it, I started to feel “manic" like feelings.  I had always only taken my K at night so I decided to try and “stabilize” by splitting up the dose a bit.  At first, this kind of helped.  Plus, I wasn’t working, etc – took some time off but have since had to go back.  Anyhow, as time went on, I started noticing that I was getting I/D withdrawal not only 1X per day like before but before each does....even though I was still only at .5 mg per day.  Also, started getting a LOT of acute tolerance w/d symptoms..... morning cortisol spikes early, severe trembling, electric buzzes, paresthesia (burning/biting pain mostly in my arms), dizziness or light headed, insomnia, heavy head/brain, brain fog, dry mouth, dry throat, burning throat, mouth and tongue, of course anxiety, restlessness, confusion, difficulty concentrating, akathesia, depression, facial numbness, balance issues, intolerance to noises, jelly legs, some constipation, nausea, DP, DR.  Not all of these at once per se.  Late last week, I thought maybe I better just get on with it and start to reduce as things just weren’t getting better and wanted to test the waters.....so I dry cut (using a file) just 1.7% over 4 days and got WAY worse symptoms....was hoping things wouldn’t change and was really caught off guard when the trembling got worse and my muscles got tight/heavy/crampy, bad headache, and the unsteadiness worse.  So I decided to go back to the .5, just at night to 1x per day, staying at the .5 - this was last Sunday.  Things are only getting worse, not better!!  So the last few days, I am slowly moving .125 back up to earlier in the day.  But the trembling is unbelievable - I cycle between extreme tremors, feeling like my brain is going to have a seizure, can't think or comprehend, to feeling manic with akathasia.  The burning skin is horrible, as are many other symptoms.  I can't stabilize!!  I'm in acute withdrawal without even being off the med yet.....but I know it could get worse.  I really made a mistake breaking up my dose into multiple times a day, I believe......it set me up for more tolerance/acute symptoms.  Any thoughts for me?  I don't think I can go on like this.   

 

How to get off K when you are already in acute while on it, not stable, and miniscule cuts are horrible?  I was shocked at how worse I even felt with the tiny cuts so how the hell to get off this when you are already in acute?  Should I try to add some Valium and cross over?  I don't even know if updosing would help many of my symptoms at this point. 

 

I’m letting my anxiety get the best of me and having a hard time accepting how bad I feel right now, not being the mom, wife, employee, person I want to be.  Was hoping that when I got off the PPI, the depression would be less and I could get on a slow taper with manageable symptoms but that’s not been the case.  Getting off the PPI just destabilized me further, likely because it was interfering with how the benzo was absorbed, IDK?  I don’t know whether to hold, try to go up, try to switch benzos, what.....depression is an issue for me.  I’ve been through some rough patches (PPD) and

 

I'm 41 and I know hormones, other meds are also a factor and I have a family.....7 kids.  I'm going to have to quit work as the main breadwinner as I can't think, I can't function.  My husband is working on getting a job but that puts my at home with 7 kids..... I'm not only in agony but having my kids see this is awful and their noises are hard.  I am not sure I should be driving. 

 

God bless you all for any words of wisdom here.  I've had others tell me to push through, others tell me to hold.  How long to hold?  Will I stabilize if I was already having tolerance that turned into acute?  How do you get off this poison without having seizures or losing your mind?  If you are in acute when you haven't even finished tapering?

 

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