Anger for No Reason

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Last week, for the first time, I started noticing feelings of extreme anger for basically no reason toward a couple of my friends. I've had the same feeling toward family the past week two. Does anybody else just deal with extreme anger toward others when they have done nothing wrong at all? I suppose this is the next phase of my recovery. I have not had this before.

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Has anybody recovered from this symptom? I'm so worried I'm permanently ruined.

[[Wh...]]

Experiencing rage is a very common w/d symptom.  I had it very badly during a certain period of time.  I found that I needed to vent that energy to move it out of my body.  I suggest, when you have a chance to be alone in your vehicle where you won’t be heard or seen, to take advantage and yell and scream and if you can bring yourself to swear that really helps too.  If you’re able to punch the sofa or bed (I mean not crippled in physical pain), do that too or scream into a pillow.  This anger energy is not connected to anything real, just distorted feelings the body is needing to release.  Don’t judge yourself because of these feelings or thoughts, they are not yours but somehow created by the drugs.  It’s important to manage the thoughts and feelings so that no one gets hurt including yourself via self-blame.

 

These symptoms will pass in time, just part of the healing process. 

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Ashtons manual:

 

Aggressive disorders are also associated with low serotonin activity (among other factors) and the appearance of anger and irritability during benzodiazepine withdrawal may involve similar mechanisms as depression. However, these symptoms usually disappear spontaneously and do not last very long.

 

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It is pretty clear I'm suffering pretty severe depression since quitting benzos almost a year ago and it probably has something to do with serotonin. And it makes sense that aggression is linked to it. I was very irritable before all this happened to me, but this is so much worse. It feels like the anger is brought on for absolutely no reason at all.

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I have days when I am super angry. I thinks it a combo of too little serotonin & dopamine, an over-stressed/sensitive CNS, and the pure frustration of dealing with this shit daily. I struggle with it as well. Here's hoping we get a window soon.

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Anydaynow,

 

I was reading your post about how you feel worse two months after you jumped. The same thing happened to me. I went into acute after quitting c/t and then felt better after about a month. Then, at about 2 1/2 months off I entered a wave that I have not really recovered from. I'm nearing a year off now. It's really hard going through this every day.

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I had it again this morning while taking a shower. Just thinking about my wife throws me into a rage for no reason. I am really scared about this. It's completely new the past few weeks. Symptoms are morphing but they are just as uncomfortable as what came before.

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I had this symptom again this morning after waking up. Anger at family for no reason. I may have to go live with my parents again because I'm becoming scared of living at home. There is no explanation for this anger except brain chemistry is off and I may need to do something about it. I'm on no medications now and I haven't taken any in nearly a year since quitting the benzo, but I don't seem to be returning to my normal self at all.

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i have a week where i been nothing but pissed off angry at everything i think its trying to deal with all this shit day after day .

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It is awful. And it's a new type of rage for me that is all internalized, which makes me completely scared to be around people that I love. I have so much anxiety around my family right now because of this.

[[Ro...]]

I love BB because it links me with other people suffering the same symptoms. In that way you are not alone and you can share your feelings!

 

I have waves of rage when things do not work (machines, computer, etc.) as I need or as they are supposed to. Or when I feel somehow frustrated, waiting for something that it doesn't show up. I cannot control myself when that happens and the rage appears just for a few seconds.

Then I feel bad and guilty for my reaction...

 

[[De...]]

I was extremely angry with a relative yesterday, but honestly, I think that during all those years I was in benzos, I internalized my anger and my feelings, so now instead of taking a pill I tell them off.

The trick is to be able to express myself without getting extremely angry. I don’t want to be a benzo zombie anymore.

Stay focus.

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I have not had any outbursts of anger at all. I am scared to have them. I used to be really irritable and I would make my frustrations known to my wife and I wouldn't fear that. This is something different, almost something sinister. I just feel like because I've been nervous around my family for a long time it's turned into anger or something. I really don't know if taking time apart would help.

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Im 38 months off paxil, and this is my worst symptom ever, i lost all of my friends and family members for this thing, it seems like permanent for me, anxiety, irttbilit, and anger they are killing me and destroying my life.

 

Now for the serotonin part, will it goes back to production if i am healed? Would i be able to feel hapy and calm?

[Guest [so...]]

OMG I have this, the most awful rage towards my husband, he will say something and I'm triggered into a rage like a demon is inside me, then I get a cascade of sxs including more rage and non stop crying, and  S. I, then saying I want him to leave, saying I don't love him etc etc. It seems to be developing a pattern of staying for a week in a brutal wave and then when I come out of it I have a window for a week and then the demon comes back.This has been happening for the past 6 weeks and it's truly terrifying. I never thought I'd be this bad at 14 1/2 months off, I've given up on healing now.

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Our CNS, is hypersensitive. I also think, it's because we are so exhausted, and tired, of this situation. We are going through so much, and it can be difficult for others to understand. We are waiting and waiting. But my Mom says "if you are angry, then you are stronger than when you are sad". And I hope, that you feel better soon!

 

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The weird thing about the anger I have experienced is it comes and goes at random. And I have not had a single anger outburst during those moments because I'm honestly scared during those moments. I hope that feelings of anger returning mean that feelings of sadness are leaving permanently. That would be awesome. The problem with the feelings of anger is sometimes they are just as uncomfortable as the feelings of sadness. They seem to be from a person separate from myself.

[Guest [mi...]]

If something this meds do very well is to manage our frustration and anxiety. This conditions bring such a menu of symptoms! It's actually our anxious thoughts and the reactions to them that make us feel bad. We are too busy with our thoughts, monitoring ourselves all the time. Unlike in the past ,when we were OK, it seems now that we don't have time for other things than just us. That's where I think frustration and rage come from.

I think we have to show, as much as we can, the same behaviors and feelings we had in the past, when we were normal. I know the lack of feelings now but practicing, little by little,they'll come back.

Regards,

Miguel

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Yes, Miguel...this preocupation thinking only about us we have to change or adjust....thanks for your insight

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True, before all this I thought of everybody but me. Years worrying about others, which is not normal either, mind you, but now I only think about my symptoms and my recovery.

I need to reach a balance, but honestly I don’t see myself obsessing about others wellbeing anymore.

I want to relax and enjoy life a little, I’m 69 and have taken care of my entire family since I was very young.

Best

[[da...]]

Yes, I totally have the same feelings and I don't believe it's a permanent damage. I think we just get tired of feeling like total shit and we see others like family and friends laughing and feeling fine having a good time and it pisses us off even though they have done nothing wrong. It's the length of w/d and wanting to feel some normality and not knowing when that will occur. It will pass when your nervous system adjusts abd one day we will look back on this and laugh. I can't see day yet and think most can't, but it's coming. I even see strangers who are having a normal day feeling fine and talking having a good time and that angers me because of what I am going through, but I realize I am not angry at them personally. I am angry at my situation and that I can't get to their point yet and don't have the answer when I will get there. It sucks !

 

I even get angry at my doctor for not giving me full education on the damn drug.. She did not sit me down and explain that I would be involuntary addicted and not to worry she would taper me correctly and at my comfort level as Dr. Ashton lectures I have seen on YouTube. Check them out if you want. She really as a understanding of what we go through with compassion and believes no one should suffer. A lot of primary care doctors dish these anti-anxiety drugs out or for sleep, but don't seem to know how to get you off it in a comfortable and patient educated, drug educated way. My doctor actually told me eight weeks. We will drop it .5 every two weeks. I was naive about coming off in other words not educated in the process. When she said that 8 weeks I went home and researched it and found out she was totally uneducated and made it sound so simple. It made me angry.

 

I felt you did this to me and she made it sound it was my fault as if I were the one prescribing it and controlling the dosage. Well she is retiring and I will have a new doctor and I spoke with a doctor on a phone appt. and he said " oh no we have a protocol and it will take months " and that was justification on how I felt and there was a lot of anger. My doctor had always been good and extreme integrity and professional, but once the retirement seem to get to months away it seemed she really didn't give a shit. Now that's a guess she may have felt that way all along and treated her patients with uneducated rapid detox, but for a while there I was extremely angry at her.

 

I feel you brother, you will be fine with the anger, but be careful that you don't destroy a loyal relationship from it.

Peace, Love and Happiness

 

David

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I never thought about it, but you are right.

I’m jealous of my friends acting normal and putting up for situations I can’t even fathom, like traveling or partying or simply driving. I have to get over this feeling, I decided to taper and quit Xanax. Oh, well, will see how I get out of this mess, some days are tolerable, others like today are really hard.

I had awful tachycardia last night after going to a friends’ get together.

Be well.

[[Ro...]]

I've always had good temper. I'm a quiet and gentle person.

Lately during and after my taper, I do not recognise myself, as I have from time to time emotional outbursts that surprises and frighten others (and myself too)...

Afterwards I feel so very guilty.

[[Wh...]]

I've always had good temper. I'm a quiet and gentle person.

Lately during and after my taper, I do not recognise myself, as I have from time to time emotional outbursts that surprises and frighten others (and myself too)...

Afterwards I feel so very guilty.

 

I relate. It’s not you, it’s a damaged brain or at the least the effects of toxins released into the brain.  That may not quite be right either ... whatever... it’s not you, it’s the drugs.  We do have to take responsibility for managing that evil garbage though to ensure no one is hurt, including ourselves.