What are your 3 top concerns about withdrawal and recovery?

[[ve...]]

Hi. Being that I'm done tapering, my concerns may be a bit different than if I were still tapering.  

 

1)My first concern is that valium did some kind of damage that is permanent.  I believe that total recovery is possible now but sometimes that fear creeps back although I don't believe it is going to happen anymore

 

2)My next concern is about sleep.  I used to have concerns about insomnia when I was tapering.  But being ten months off and finally getting deeper sleep, the concern turns to fear that the REM sleep won't last. I'm hoping it continues (going on 2 weeks now)

 

3)The last concern is for my buddies who have had difficult tapers. When I see some folks who have lost hope or had to reinstate after being benzo free, I am concerned that they may not make it to the other side.  I pray every day that they persist and don't give up, they too can achieve their benzo freedom as I have.

 

Best wishes,

 

Vertigo (no more)

[[no...]]

Thanks for the tread

 

1. Fear that my mind will never be normal again intrusive obsessive thoughts.

 

2. Never had panic or anxiety will I have to live with this the rest of my life.

 

3. Will I be able to eat drink or live life like before benzos or will have to watch out for everything I do.

[[am...]]

1:  I am permanently retarded

 

2:  Won't be able to work and become homeless

 

3:  Won't have the will to continue in this broken state.

[[...]]

i just wanted to respond to all the posts so far.  i'm now 6 mos benzo free and i had every one of those fears.  i still have one or two of them but they have diminished.  the other fears have faded.  i hope this is encouraging.  in the midst of it, everything feels so absolutely permanent...and it's impossible to imagine that the mind could ever heal from the anxiety and intrusive thoughts.  but it does.  i don't know how but all those things just gradually fade away.

 

i think the most important thing to do to ensure healing....continue tapering and if benzo free, stay benzo free....and james mentioned not knowing if he could handle this for much longer....as long as you just survive every day...over time you will get better.

[Guest [ke...]]

1) Not healing, my brain is damaged for good.

2) Putting things back together.

3) How long w/d will last.

 

 

[[...]]

 

This is a very good questions....

 

My answers:

 

1) Fear that this is permanent (logically, I know this is not true..but sometimes..the logical mind isn't so logical in benzo wd)

 

2) Fear of how long the withdrawal will last (as you see this negates question 1...if you believe there is a time limit..which I do..at which the symptoms are gone...heheh)

 

3) What do I do when this is over?  How do I pick up the pieces and in what direction do I go?

 

 

TC

[[Mi...]]

I'd have to say ditto to TC's top three.

[[st...]]

1.  Fear my tongue and face will never stop moving.

 

2.  Fear these symptoms have permanently driven away everyone I cared for.

 

3.  Fear I will be alone forever, going from doc to doc.

 

4.  Fear that in my lifetime, or ever, the horrors of benzos will never be proven and more will continue to suffer.

 

Yes, I know thats four.

[Guest [ke...]]

 

This is a very good questions....

 

My answers:

 

1) Fear that this is permanent (logically, I know this is not true..but sometimes..the logical mind isn't so logical in benzo wd)

 

2) Fear of how long the withdrawal will last (as you see this negates question 1...if you believe there is a time limit..which I do..at which the symptoms are gone...heheh)

 

3) What do I do when this is over?  How do I pick up the pieces and in what direction do I go?

 

 

TC

 

This is exactly the way I wanted to word it.

 

Keryn.

[[Li...]]

Mine are

 

1) How long will it take? Since it was controlled by doctors in hosp last time: Will I have enough willpower to do a slow taper at home and stick it through?

 

2) How many more people will I lose due to being in withdrawal and unbearable to be around?

 

3) And also what TC wrote: What do I do when this is over?  What direction do I go? Cause I have nothing here to lose. I think.

[[Me...]]

~~Fear I will never be who I was before

~~That the anxiety will always be lieing dormant and something I do will make it raise its ugly head and become panic

~~Wondering if I have permanent  damage or how long will the w/d last

[[dh...]]

1) Time lost to this medicated jail

 

2) Driving people away because they "SEE" you coming again with that look

 

3) The symptoms and how long they last, see number one and repeat!

[[an...]]

 

 

Seems we are all afraid of the withdrawal symptoms and how bad they are going to get, and how long they will last after our final dose of poison ..  

 

1)  me too!

2)  fear of acting panicky during withdrawal in public, making people think I'm some crazy old lady

3)  fear of the future since I'm a senior with COPD, and how to manage my daily activities on my own without help

 

http://i225.photobucket.com/albums/dd188/nannham/blink.gif

 

[[Ho...]]

My 3 Fears are:  I am afraid that I won't make it through this in good health

                     

                      I am afraid that I will never be who I was before, that my mind has been stolen or destroyed.

 

                      I am afraid that there is nothing I can do that will really help me get through this w/d.....and right now the s/x are unbearable.

 

And L123 - Thanks so much for your encouraging words - this helps me the most to feel like I can make it through.

[[le...]]

Just wanted to throw this in...

 

As someone who has been observing L123 for quite a while, everyone here should really take to heart what she has said.  The slow transformation has been amazing to see...and is very obvious!

 

Leslie...thank you for giving everyone such hope!

 

~Leena

[[BY...]]

1:Pharmacology

2:Doctors

3:Hospitals

 

[[Le...]]

I have all the fears that have already been said but my top three are:

 

1)  Something will always trigger the depression/anxiety, it will never fully go away.

 

2)  I will have to deal with waves and windows for the rest of my life.

 

3)  The biggest:  Like everyone else, that I won't be the same person I was before.  It's even hard for me to look at pictures of myself before benzo because I'm afraid I won't be that "normal" again.  I had a great life pre benzos.  Will it ever be that good again?

[[...]]

leena and hoping and everyone,

 

reading all your posts just makes me want to cry.  all those fears, i remember them well and it makes me hurt to see others going through what i went through. 

 

right now i've hit a "mini wave" of psychological symptoms...and those fears have returned to a small degree...but after having been through so many waves now...i tell myself...these thoughts will not last...you will return to normal....you've felt good before, you will feel good again.

 

what is it about how permanent it all feels while in the midst of it, though??  my gosh!

 

while i am not healed yet, i can still at least reassure those behind me on this path that things still continue to gradually get better. 

 

and thanks, leena, for your kind words.  it truly has been a transformation over these last 6 months.  i'm still not where i want to be...and these fears get burdensome and make it hard to enjoy life...but i know we're all going to make it if we just stay the course.

 

leslie

[[Ho...]]

Leslie - sorry to hear that you are having a "wave."  Please keep us informed on how you are doing and how long it lasts......you are our bright and shining star that we look to for hope, as well as the many others who have gotten their life back again and stop by cheer us on.  Hope your fears are minimal and that they go away soon.  These drugs are the most horrible, coming back to visit after being gone for six months.  Unbelievable!

Feel Good Quick!

Love from Hoping

[[...]]

hey hoping,

 

it was just a small two day wave..nothing scary or anything.  i'm doing just fine today. 

 

thanks.

[[ca...]]

  EAT  LOVE  HEAL    WILL these feelings be mine.

[[ve...]]

How about Eat, Pray, Love

 

Good movie

 

Vertigo

[[pa...]]

Hi Vertigo... A really good post and great feedback.  I can tell you first hand... all of it goes away. I'm 27 years away from Benzos... totally healed.  It took some months.. it does happen.  As some of you know, my hubby, Ron, was put on Lorazepam July 2010.. tapered, jumped Jan 2011..  lots of sx wds.. still bad. 19 wks this Fri.. few windows.. but he will get there.  Its a road, a high and low, climbing mountain after mountain anyone going thru this.. I understand... though, I know - as Dr. Ashton states "everyone heals... it just takes time".  That does occur. I can only say, you pull from every strength of your inner being with courage to go through this, and we "all have it"!  You use every cookie cutter of coping skills, as small as they can be, small steps in the beginning, even if for 10 seconds, just keep using them, the seconds grow to minutes then hours.. it get u through... that's the inner strength kicking in.  Just know... IT ALL LEAVES.. you become whole again.. but a better whole with a new life..  Blessing to all... Luv to all, Pattylu