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Just falling apart and so young...


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I just need to vent and say I absolutely hate these drugs, anxiety, withdrawl and the wasted life and time spent suffering. On top of all the physical and mental symptoms I've been having, my hair has also been thinning out so horribly. I had a biopsy of my scalp done just to see if it was something else and it came back as stress related hair loss. I'm just so fed up with this! Even if it's natural loss and the withdrawal is making it fall out faster, it still sucks. I went from a confident good looking man to a shell of a human being with 1/3rd of my hair gone. I'm depressed, upset, frustrated, angry and I hate what this is doing to me. I dream about the day I'm just off the drugs but know I'll be re learning how to live again as a most definitely different person. Someone just tell me they understand where I'm coming from. I just miss the connection with a girl that never was a struggle before this. I'm 29 but feel 50. Any good recommendations on books for depression that may have helped you? Hope you all get well soon.
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Sorry to hear it, but rest assured you can get through this. Eventually you'll be able to look back and see this as part of your past. But it's tough to get through in the present. You're making the right steps though.

 

I found the book Managing Your Depression by Susan J. Noonan to be a terrific resource for dealing with things day-to-day and long term. I just read it the second time after going through a rough patch. She gives practical advice on how to deal with feelings that arise and good habits to get into so you can lessen the severity of symptoms and get through rough times. It's very accessible, so you can read it even when you're down in the dumps.

 

A much longer book is Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. It isn't about depression specifically, but more about how to develop a mindful attitude and come to accept things that happen in life with out being overwhelmed. It's more philosophical and new age, but I found it a good way to recenter myself and I now listen to her podcasts every week. Really good stuff.

 

You can find some of her podcast here or in iTunes:

https://www.tarabrach.com/talks-audio-video/

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I am so sorry to hear these things.

 

Since you are mid-taper, your efforts should be directed more at 'damage control' - so to speak - by minimizing the hellish symptoms brought on by dose reductions. Unfortunately, very few are afforded a discomfort-free taper.

 

Unless directed by a doctor, the changes you make should be non-pharmacological and lifestyle based. Remember, one day you'll be off all medications, so it's good to start developing healthy habits and routines now. You have the opportunity to come out of this better than you were before you even started taking medication. Believe it or not.

 

Diet and exercise are going to be crucial; however, you may have to take these lifestyle modifications slow, kind of like a reverse taper. You can shock your body by suddenly running 8 miles and adopting a strict paleo diet overnight.

 

Whether or not you believe in alternative or complimentary therapies is irrelevant. Health and doctor permitting, you should at least try them for a period just to see.

 

Meditation

Amygdala retraining

CBT

Squared breathing

 

....these are just a sampling of options available. As far as the more affective and invasive treatments go - like acupressure and acupuncture - I can't say. Check with your doc.

 

Stimulation is crucial. Jumping out of your comfort zone, learning new skills, engaging in more social interaction, etc., promote mindfulness and help the brain to rewire.

 

There's a book called "You Are The Placebo." I forget the author, but Amazon has it.

 

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Im 63 and feel 93 believe Me the older You get the harder it gets. I hope You never end up this stuff when get to My age range I dont even know if Im going to survive this its beating Me up that bad.
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I lost my gf and a whole lot of hair to benzo withdrawal.

 

Still going through it. My hair has seem to stop falling out, but hasn't grown back. Really curious if it will.

I'm using Nizoral every three days, sometimes I put lavender oil on my scalp, and often use coconut oil as a conditioner and on my scalp after using the Nizoral.  The hair loss is almost worse than losing my gf!

 

I'm 34 and feel much older, if I wasn't going through benzowithdrawal, I now realize age 34 isn't that old!!!

 

 

 

*so* I can give you these words of encouragement... by the time you're my age, you'll be all well and beyond healed, looking a feeling younger then you do now. It could happen! You'll be healed by 32. 32 seemed like a big one for some reason. AND STILL VERY YOUNG.

 

A book I recommend is "Spirit Matters: Down-to-Earth tools for a spirited life" ....

 

Look for it on amazon it is cheap. It's very new-agey but the tools really works.

 

keep an open mind and read it.

 

Also I visit a website called elephantjournal.com  .... great stuff to stay positive.

 

 

 

 

If you conquer this now you'll be young forever.

 

 

 

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I've been really angry lately too. I like to watch YouTube videos of people going through this and I get so angry!  All the suffering! They all make me cry. Not just me but so many and it's getting worse as they are just handing these pills out knowing they will have us in their chokehold of buying their drugs for life. Im hoping to start my own YouTube channel about this journey, but I'm just too tired. My husband wants me to get a punching bag. I want to start a fight club.
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