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In a wave of depression.


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Anyone got some cheerful advice? The never ending benzo withdrawal is getting to me. I just don't see any end in sight and I'm quite depressed atm.

 

Everyone can tolerate some pain. But the sheer repetitiveness of going through the same thing EVERY SINGLE DAY is really hard. Wake up, take dose. Feel ok for 1 hour. Take next dose, feel depressed and anxious. Lay on bed in misery. *SURPRISE* you just won (insert terrifying withdrawal effect that changes every day here). Get scared of taking next dose. Take next dose anyway out of necessity. Miss old life where I could just sit and enjoy a video game, or working, or going to college. Realize your life is going to be like this until you get off. Feel even more depressed. Oh it's really late at night now, I get to feel 2 percent better. Plays a video game for 5 minutes. Realizes it's time for final dose. Takes dose. Holy crap I have to go bed so my brain can heal... stays up for 6 more hours terrified of dying in sleep. (Repeat).

 

If I keep going at my current rate I'll be off this drug by April 2017. And the problems might not end there. Because I might have protracted withdrawal. And that's the best case scenario... if I'm successful tapering.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Sorry to hear you're going through this. Maybe try to vary your routine? I found getting out of the house and hitting the library as a good distraction. Anything to get out of my own head. The sunlight can really help your mood and moving around keeps your body active and can help. Hope you find something! You'll get through this eventually.
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