3,2,1: Under 3 mg Valium people

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I took my last dose last night!

Today, I wake benzo-free. Today I am FREE!

 

Yes, I DMT’ed all the way to zero. My last dose was 0.01 mg Librium.

 

My taper lasted 3.5 yrs even though I was a short-term user.

This has been a truly lovely group to finish the taper with. I am forever grateful for your support, teaching, validation, and friendship. 

 

[[be...]]

[glow=red,2,300]"CONGRATULATIONS libr"[/glow]

You did it!!...and may healing continue, have a amazing time being benzo free. 💖 Peace and Healing.

[[Ma...]]

That is fabulous!!  Congratulations libr  :balloon:

Mary 💜💜💜💜💜

[[Ca...]]

Libr,

Well done..!!

 

Im going to have to do up a “CONGRATULATIONS” Template the way this special group is going..!!

 

 

[[ga...]]

I took my last dose last night!

Today, I wake benzo-free. Today I am FREE!

 

Yes, I DMT’ed all the way to zero. My last dose was 0.01 mg Librium.

 

My taper lasted 3.5 yrs even though I was a short-term user.

This has been a truly lovely group to finish the taper with. I am forever grateful for your support, teaching, validation, and friendship. 

Oh, libr, fantastic! I was waiting for this all week! YIPPEE!!!!  :yippee: Gosh, we were only one day apart. FUN!

[[ci...]]

Libr,

 

Fantastic!  I’ve been watching for your news!  So happy for you!

 

 

[[ca...]]

Congrats Libr, now the celebration begins. I'm so happy for you ! Keep us updated.

[[va...]]

Just took my last dose!

 

Hooray!!!! So happy to celebrate your achievement!  You have been rock solid in encouraging others and keeping yourself on track.  Onwards!

 

Thanks, circle. Yes, onwards!

 

The posts you wrote to me in the Long Hold group and your progress log which I've read several times, are the things that have taught me more coping skills through all this (just starting to learn). I read you again and again. You'd think I'm stalking you. I'm so glad you made it. Don't know if I ever will because I'm not stabilizing at all. But at least I read you and you give me hope. I do have to work though. Not a very stressful job but I can't quit it. You think I can do it Gardener? Maybe slower? I really hope you enjoy the life you've been working so hard for during your taper. Life and freedom at last 

 

Thank you for your kind words, Val. Of course you can make it! It took me 3 months of holding to feel a bit better, to have some decent windows. And a year of holding and getting my ducks in a row to be well enough to taper again. Not just me, but others, too, have gutted out a long hold and been rewarded with an easier taper afterwards. I have read their stories.

 

For some buddies, the hold didn't give them the windows, so they just went ahead with their taper at a safe pace.  Other buddies have done a push-through-the-pain Ashton style taper. One way or another, they all reached the finish line.

 

You will reach the finish line, too. Your taper may take a different path than you thought. It did for me. My doctor told me 4 months. It took over 4 years. I remember how hard it was to come to grips with how long it would take. Those were dark days. And then I finally learned to accept it rather than fight it. That helped me keep going.

 

I have cheered buddies who jumped, buddies who were my only friends at times, and have seen many leave the forum. I thought I would never get there myself.  It is still a bit surreal that I actually am there.

 

I think somewhere there is a thread for people working through their tapers. I can also recall people who have talked about it on other threads. One buddie was afraid of driving, and drove to work terrified every day. One buddie had to have her husband drive her to work. Valley, who used to be the leader of long hold, worked at a very stressful job and through some awful family stuff, too. I think they all learned to pace themselves and their tapers. One buddie encouraged people to work because it is a distraction. I was already not working because of a physical disability when I was put on the benzo. If I had been working, I would have tried very hard to keep working. I now volunteer instead. I would go nuts without that outside distraction and the connections to people. A job can be a plus rather than a minus.

 

You can do it, Val. You will figure out your path off of benzos and take it and be free one day like so many before you. Every day you are one day closer to freedom. 

 

Gardie

 

Gardener this post of yours has brought tears to my eyes and trust me, I don't cry easily. You have something so positive in you. You have been and continue to be so helpful. I will copy paste and print this post as I've done with some others you sent me when I was in acute withdrawal, and I will read it for encouragement whenever I need to . I'm so happy you finally made it. Take your time before tapering the gabapentin as I read often that people taper more easily when they wait a few months after coming off the benzo? Well, you know best but I wanted to say it. Hope you enjoy your new life Gardener. I only hope my doctor is willing to support me in this slow taper and that I don't lose him. Doctor abandonment and ending up in hospital and CTd are my biggest fears. And I have many. I suppose you're not very fear based? My biggest wd sxs is fear. I suppose I has to do with my personality. Other people get other symptoms.

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Thank you so much caltn, Circlestar, Gardie, cantfly, Mary, and begood!!!! 

 

Yes, celebrating! My kids covered me in confetti last night. My husband even made me a congrats card. Hitting zero brought tears of joy, relief and resolve. The air is definitely “fresher” today, Can’t!

 

Someone asked abt working- I continued to work part time throughout my taper. Never took a day off for health. It definitely helped to keep me going, grounded me and was the ultimate distraction. Kept my sense of purpose and forced me out of bed, forced me to smile at people. 

 

To those still tapering, just keep going- taper, cope, distract, accept- and your zero will come to you.

 

[[ga...]]

Thank you so much caltn, Circlestar, Gardie, cantfly, Mary, and begood!!!! 

 

Yes, celebrating! My kids covered me in confetti last night. My husband even made me a congrats card. Hitting zero brought tears of joy, relief and resolve. The air is definitely “fresher” today, Can’t!

 

Someone asked abt working- I continued to work part time throughout my taper. Never took a day off for health. It definitely helped to keep me going, grounded me and was the ultimate distraction. Kept my sense of purpose and forced me out of bed, forced me to smile at people. 

 

To those still tapering, just keep going- taper, cope, distract, accept- and your zero will come to you.

 

The confetti and card sound like so much fun, libr. I'm so happy for you.

[[va...]]

I took my last dose last night!

Today, I wake benzo-free. Today I am FREE!

 

Yes, I DMT’ed all the way to zero. My last dose was 0.01 mg Librium.

 

My taper lasted 3.5 yrs even though I was a short-term user.

This has been a truly lovely group to finish the taper with. I am forever grateful for your support, teaching, validation, and friendship. 

 

Libr I'm so happy seeing people like you who finally made it. I also see in your signature that at one point you updosed to the dose you were taking six months before (just what I've done recently). And STILL made it. I was the one asking about being able to work. My main concern about work is not the anxiety etc by more the insomnia. Have you had a lot of insomnia during your taper? Hope your enjoying your new life.

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Thank you val- yes I had lots of insomnia. That was my worst sx- the unrelenting hypnic jerks that kept me awake and woke me early. Yes somehow I still worked (part time) despite it. There were times someone else would drive me to work though bc I was not well. Idk how I did it but maybe I was too out of it to decide not to work. Yes, I updosed bc I made a (big) cut that just decimated me. I waited 6 wks and just couldn’t hold on anymore. Some said do a long hold- maybe it would’ve helped- idk. But I couldn’t take it and you gotta do what you gotta do. Updoses worked for me. Anyway, I made a lot of mistakes- I hope one day there is guidance available right away - it should come with the Rx for the med in the 1st place imo. Like detailed info on dependence possibility, the severity, the incredible number of sxs and how to do a taper 5-10% a month. Many ppl (almost all) would be saved from this agony- a simple pamphlet w/ the Rx. Not too much to ask. Anyway, it seems no matter what mistakes or what path you take, all paths lead to zero one way or another. Just have faith in that.

[[va...]]

Thank you val- yes I had lots of insomnia. That was my worst sx- the unrelenting hypnic jerks that kept me awake and woke me early. Yes somehow I still worked (part time) despite it. There were times someone else would drive me to work though bc I was not well. Idk how I did it but maybe I was too out of it to decide not to work. Yes, I updosed bc I made a (big) cut that just decimated me. I waited 6 wks and just couldn’t hold on anymore. Some said do a long hold- maybe it would’ve helped- idk. But I couldn’t take it and you gotta do what you gotta do. Updoses worked for me. Anyway, I made a lot of mistakes- I hope one day there is guidance available right away - it should come with the Rx for the med in the 1st place imo. Like detailed info on dependence possibility, the severity, the incredible number of sxs and how to do a taper 5-10% a month. Many ppl (almost all) would be saved from this agony- a simple pamphlet w/ the Rx. Not too much to ask. Anyway, it seems no matter what mistakes or what path you take, all paths lead to zero one way or another. Just have faith in that.

 

Hi Libr. I bet you're enjoying the fact of not taking that pill every day (or that liquid). Yes you're damn right that these should come with very clear information, warning, instructions, tapering plans, informed consent... Some day I guess.  So when you updosed it was six weeks after a crash? Or you mean you updosed and waited six weeks to resume your taper? Sorry but I really crashed big time and waited a lot to updose, yes like 4 to 6 weeks, and I think that was a mistake. I was so sick I should've updosed immediately to prevent damage in my glutamate system (according to what I've been reading lately from an old buddy called SG 57). So anyway, I waited long to updose and now I see my wd is so much worse with very bad waves and well, I'm living a much much worse level of withdrawal than before the crash. I have not stabilized after the updose because I waited too long IMO (of course as this is so tricky, we can only have opinions and not certainties). So anyway I see you were also in a bad place and had insomnia too. Jerks woke you up? I have more fear and intrusive thoughts all fear based that prevent me from sleeping. That's my life since the crash. Will I ever be stable enough to start tapering again, no idea. I hope now that you're off, your symptoms start improving more and more and you reach a place of forgetting all this nightmare.

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Val- I updosed several times. They worked for me. Yes, one time (as in my sig) it was 6 wks after the cut. I stabilized and then cut again but I think I should’ve waited longer after stabilizing, at least 2 wks but I was impatient. So I cut again, smaller, crashed again and updosed sooner but did a more gradual updose bc I was reluctant and didn’t want to overshoot. That time I held there for 2 mo and still had bad waves and windows. But never went back to “good”.  After those 2 mo, I began my DMT.... and continued it to zero. I rarely ever held during DMT and no holds at all for the last 1.5 yrs of it, not even a single day. I was not good when I started DMT but I was stable, meaning I wasn’t getting worse and worse overall. But the waves were horrific still. Anyway it got better VERY gradually as I Daily tapered. The bulk of my improvements were in the last 4 mo or so but it definitely got better before that even. I did a dry MT. Just seemed much easier for me and didn’t introduce a new variable.

I had/have the thoughts too. I had a ton of physical sxs. Mind sxs too. I feel like I was one of the worst in terms of sxs (amongst the non-CT folks anyway)... but maybe everyone feels that way. So long story short- yes there’s hope for you and everyone actually. No matter where you are now or what your struggles are, you can and will get off!

[[va...]]

Val- I updosed several times. They worked for me. Yes, one time (as in my sig) it was 6 wks after the cut. I stabilized and then cut again but I think I should’ve waited longer after stabilizing, at least 2 wks but I was impatient. So I cut again, smaller, crashed again and updosed sooner but did a more gradual updose bc I was reluctant and didn’t want to overshoot. That time I held there for 2 mo and still had bad waves and windows. But never went back to “good”.  After those 2 mo, I began my DMT.... and continued it to zero. I rarely ever held during DMT and no holds at all for the last 1.5 yrs of it, not even a single day. I was not good when I started DMT but I was stable, meaning I wasn’t getting worse and worse overall. But the waves were horrific still. Anyway it got better VERY gradually as I Daily tapered. The bulk of my improvements were in the last 4 mo or so but it definitely got better before that even. I did a dry MT. Just seemed much easier for me and didn’t introduce a new variable.

I had/have the thoughts too. I had a ton of physical sxs. Mind sxs too. I feel like I was one of the worst in terms of sxs (amongst the non-CT folks anyway)... but maybe everyone feels that way. So long story short- yes there’s hope for you and everyone actually. No matter where you are now or what your struggles are, you can and will get off!

 

Thank you Libr, you don't know how much hope this gives me. I'm copying the link to your post in my progress log so that I can revisit it when needed 

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So I’m at Day 8 since sliding off which is past my lag time so wanted to report on how it is. Definitely no worse at all post-jump. It feels the same as the couple wks before jumping actually. It is awesome to not take any pills.  I still notice my dosing times everyday. I have no benzo in my house- I took them all to the pharmacy to properly dispose of- did this my first day after jumping!  Sxs are really about the same- I have to say, though, I have an uptick in feeling impatient and discouraged. I am happy to not being on the med but I guess I got so used to the daily countdown- seeing the dose get smaller and smaller- it was tangible progress. No w/o that to kinda mark progress, there is this in limbo feeling- like I’m just waiting... instead of DOING something (I.e. taper)-  not sure if that makes sense. But thankfully no “acute”. And hopefully once I see some significant improvements over time, the in limbo feeling will fade.

[[va...]]

So I’m at Day 8 since sliding off which is past my lag time so wanted to report on how it is. Definitely no worse at all post-jump. It feels the same as the couple wks before jumping actually. It is awesome to not take any pills.  I still notice my dosing times everyday. I have no benzo in my house- I took them all to the pharmacy to properly dispose of- did this my first day after jumping!  Sxs are really about the same- I have to say, though, I have an uptick in feeling impatient and discouraged. I am happy to not being on the med but I guess I got so used to the daily countdown- seeing the dose get smaller and smaller- it was tangible progress. No w/o that to kinda mark progress, there is this in limbo feeling- like I’m just waiting... instead of DOING something (I.e. taper)-  not sure if that makes sense. But thankfully no “acute”. And hopefully once I see some significant improvements over time, the in limbo feeling will fade.

 

Libr I'm so happy for you!! What a feeling of freedom. You're going to be fine because your taper was very slow. I hope everything will be ok and you won't get any waves, or at least only very mild ones.

[[ca...]]

Hi all

 

Libr I was in limbo also for around 6 weeks, then started noticing I would  feel better for a few days  then feel drained the next few. Now I'm having more sleep issues, sometimes I wake up after 2 hours , or 5 hours of sleep.  I feel drained (fatigued) for most of the day now. I'm riding it out as not sure what to expect. I work everyday and go home just to sit on the couch and hope for a good nights sleep.  I'd like to find something to help me sleep through the night as I think I'll feel better if I did.

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Hi all

 

Libr I was in limbo also for around 6 weeks, then started noticing I would  feel better for a few days  then feel drained the next few. Now I'm having more sleep issues, sometimes I wake up after 2 hours , or 5 hours of sleep.  I feel drained (fatigued) for most of the day now. I'm riding it out as not sure what to expect. I work everyday and go home just to sit on the couch and hope for a good nights sleep.  I'd like to find something to help me sleep through the night as I think I'll feel better if I did.

Thanks caltn -during the taper I never read anything abt ppl’s post-taper experience or if I did, I don’t remember- it was like alien territory and I couldn’t really grasp it. So it’s nice to know I’m not the only one with that in limbo feeling, like now what. So I’ll wait it out. I know he med is still in my body and takes weeks to be eliminated.

 

Sorry abt your sleep. Have you looked at sleep hygiene stuff. And I’ve learned hat sleep begets sleep. So if I do something like meditate or something relaxing during the day, I sleep better at night. And nothing stimulating before bed. This doesn’t always work but sometimes I notice it does.

[[ga...]]

So I’m at Day 8 since sliding off which is past my lag time so wanted to report on how it is. Definitely no worse at all post-jump. It feels the same as the couple wks before jumping actually. It is awesome to not take any pills.  I still notice my dosing times everyday. I have no benzo in my house- I took them all to the pharmacy to properly dispose of- did this my first day after jumping!  Sxs are really about the same- I have to say, though, I have an uptick in feeling impatient and discouraged. I am happy to not being on the med but I guess I got so used to the daily countdown- seeing the dose get smaller and smaller- it was tangible progress. No w/o that to kinda mark progress, there is this in limbo feeling- like I’m just waiting... instead of DOING something (I.e. taper)-  not sure if that makes sense. But thankfully no “acute”. And hopefully once I see some significant improvements over time, the in limbo feeling will fade.

 

My gosh, this is exactly how I feel. I could have written this post. Thanks libr for writing it for me!

[[ga...]]

Hi all

 

Libr I was in limbo also for around 6 weeks, then started noticing I would  feel better for a few days  then feel drained the next few. Now I'm having more sleep issues, sometimes I wake up after 2 hours , or 5 hours of sleep.  I feel drained (fatigued) for most of the day now. I'm riding it out as not sure what to expect. I work everyday and go home just to sit on the couch and hope for a good nights sleep.  I'd like to find something to help me sleep through the night as I think I'll feel better if I did.

 

I'm having sleep issues, too, even in spite of being on a sleep med. Have you considered CBD? There's a whole thread on it with recommendations for brands and such. My reading says I should not take it while on Seroquel, so I haven't tried it. Bought some but gave it to my son to try for sleep. I need to remember to ask him if it helps.

 

I listen to Michael Sealey's sleep hypnosis when I am awake in the night. I use the one where he has you go to an imaginary garden that you create in your mind, and then he does positive affirmations while you doze off. It helps a lot.

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Gardie - so glad to know I'm not alone in this weird, kinda anti-climactic post-jump feelings!  Thanks for chiming in!  I'm not really sure where to post anymore - lol. I feel more aligned with this group still than the post-taper section....which is kinda a scary section...so I may just stick around here for a while.

I'll have to try that sleep meditation too.

[[ga...]]

Gardie - so glad to know I'm not alone in this weird, kinda anti-climactic post-jump feelings!  Thanks for chiming in!  I'm not really sure where to post anymore - lol. I feel more aligned with this group still than the post-taper section....which is kinda a scary section...so I may just stick around here for a while.

I'll have to try that sleep meditation too.

 

Yeah, I don't go onto the post withdrawal board any more. It looks to me like nearly all of those posting are really suffering, usually because of a too-fast taper or to-high jump. It's scary.

 

As for me, I was happy to see my post-jump buddies still posting here. I really wanted to hear from them as I got closer to the finish line. So I probably will keep posting here at least for awhile.

 

I have done some reading. Librium's metabolites have a half life of 8 days. So that's 16 days to 1/4 dose left. 24 days to 1/8 of the dose left. Now think about all the doses we took right up to jump day. Those doses are still doing their half-life countdown in us. I figure it's at least a month before those final doses are pretty much gone.

 

Then I read on an addiction site that benzos can be detected in hair up to 90 days after the last dose. (I'm figuring those are the long benzos like V and L.) So they are being released from our fat stores and cleared for 3 months. Really, we are still tapering! Only we don't have any feeling of control any more. We just wait.

 

But, as we wait, know that we really are tapering the drug out of our bodies so we will have windows and waves because of that. 3 months to be patient. We were patient for years already. We can do 3 more months!

Gardie

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Gardie - so glad to know I'm not alone in this weird, kinda anti-climactic post-jump feelings!  Thanks for chiming in!  I'm not really sure where to post anymore - lol. I feel more aligned with this group still than the post-taper section....which is kinda a scary section...so I may just stick around here for a while.

I'll have to try that sleep meditation too.

 

Yeah, I don't go onto the post withdrawal board any more. It looks to me like nearly all of those posting are really suffering, usually because of a too-fast taper or to-high jump. It's scary.

 

As for me, I was happy to see my post-jump buddies still posting here. I really wanted to hear from them as I got closer to the finish line. So I probably will keep posting here at least for awhile.

 

I have done some reading. Librium's metabolites have a half life of 8 days. So that's 16 days to 1/4 dose left. 24 days to 1/8 of the dose left. Now think about all the doses we took right up to jump day. Those doses are still doing their half-life countdown in us. I figure it's at least a month before those final doses are pretty much gone.

 

Then I read on an addiction site that benzos can be detected in hair up to 90 days after the last dose. (I'm figuring those are the long benzos like V and L.) So they are being released from our fat stores and cleared for 3 months. Really, we are still tapering! Only we don't have any feeling of control any more. We just wait.

 

But, as we wait, know that we really are tapering the drug out of our bodies so we will have windows and waves because of that. 3 months to be patient. We were patient for years already. We can do 3 more months!

Gardie

 

Thank you!!!!  This is such a great post!!  All so true and so reassuring.  I was just going to do a librium elimination calculation...now I don't have to since you already have.  Yes, we can do 3 more months - right around Halloween.  I like having a target time frame like that...and when 3 months comes, we can set a new target time frame if necessary.  You're absolutely right that there is the feeling of not having "control" anymore which has been giving me some anxiety.  But you're also right that we are actually still tapering...just not making and taking doses everyday, but absolutely still tapering.  So we don't really belong in the post-taper section... lol!  Thanks again for the great info and support Gardie! 

[[ga...]]

Gardie - so glad to know I'm not alone in this weird, kinda anti-climactic post-jump feelings!  Thanks for chiming in!  I'm not really sure where to post anymore - lol. I feel more aligned with this group still than the post-taper section....which is kinda a scary section...so I may just stick around here for a while.

I'll have to try that sleep meditation too.

 

Yeah, I don't go onto the post withdrawal board any more. It looks to me like nearly all of those posting are really suffering, usually because of a too-fast taper or to-high jump. It's scary.

 

As for me, I was happy to see my post-jump buddies still posting here. I really wanted to hear from them as I got closer to the finish line. So I probably will keep posting here at least for awhile.

 

I have done some reading. Librium's metabolites have a half life of 8 days. So that's 16 days to 1/4 dose left. 24 days to 1/8 of the dose left. Now think about all the doses we took right up to jump day. Those doses are still doing their half-life countdown in us. I figure it's at least a month before those final doses are pretty much gone.

 

Then I read on an addiction site that benzos can be detected in hair up to 90 days after the last dose. (I'm figuring those are the long benzos like V and L.) So they are being released from our fat stores and cleared for 3 months. Really, we are still tapering! Only we don't have any feeling of control any more. We just wait.

 

But, as we wait, know that we really are tapering the drug out of our bodies so we will have windows and waves because of that. 3 months to be patient. We were patient for years already. We can do 3 more months!

Gardie

 

Thank you!!!!  This is such a great post!!  All so true and so reassuring.  I was just going to do a librium elimination calculation...now I don't have to since you already have.  Yes, we can do 3 more months - right around Halloween.  I like having a target time frame like that...and when 3 months comes, we can set a new target time frame if necessary.  You're absolutely right that there is the feeling of not having "control" anymore which has been giving me some anxiety.  But you're also right that we are actually still tapering...just not making and taking doses everyday, but absolutely still tapering.  So we don't really belong in the post-taper section... lol!  Thanks again for the great info and support Gardie! 

 

Yes, and then after the 3 months the brain gets to do the the deep healing with no benzo in the way any more. I think we just need to remember this. Give ourselves time. Expect that little by little we will see improvements until one day we notice we have our brains back. And you are just a young whippersnapper! You will actually get your brain back! I joined the over 60 club this month. But that's OK. I figure I get to be quirky all I want because I can claim "senior moment" for just about anything. Could be fun!