18 - 30 Month Plus Group

[[Mi...]]

Siggy, I feel powerless to! And yes some days I question if I have even gotten any better or if I am just learning how to cope with all this shit better! 

 

My day was completely out of a horror film!  Went with my mom to see my naturopath!  He was backed up and after about 20 minutes I started shaking the room looked different and I thought My heart was going to beat straight out of my chest!  I must have turned colors because his wife the receptionist came over to me and brought me into the back office had me lay on the couch and went to get doc!  I truly thought I was going to pass out and die!  It was scary as hell!  So I guess my grey area is gone!  I was swallowed whole today and feel straight down the rabbit hole! 

My naturopath whom I call Doc was able to get my heart rate down and brought some color back into my cheeks! His wife said I turned a color white she had never seen before! 

 

So of course my health fears are times a million tonight!  I honestly don't know how much longer I can do this! 

[[No...]]

Jen ... sounds like you may have gotten blindsided by a dr/panic episode ... and they can be brutal ... I haven't had one in quite a while ...

 

There is the thought that the body will shut down if things get too overwhelming ... that may contribute to the sense of being on the edge of passing out ...

 

I never passed out in the traditional sense ... but I did come back to the surface not knowing where I was or how I got there ...

 

The take away here is that I was always safe ... even though I may not have realized that in the moment ... ... 

[[Si...]]

Thanks everyone for the kind words. Went walking earlier and doing acupuncture tomorrow. Hoping it helps some. Sorry we're all in this situation. I still can't believe 25 pills did this to me.

 

Yes Nova, I thought about some of those, but it's pretty pointless to try to lead the willingly blind.

[[ci...]]

Siggy, I have been staying away from doctors for past 6 months now, except when I got a bad UTI a few weeks ago. I don't even bother anymore with trying to convince doctors, I obtained copies of my medical records and they wrote me up like I was a nut case, "in her mind she believes", etc, etc.

 

I too have a low VIT D and was prescribed 50,000 units weekly, I decided to take morning walks instead to get my Vit D naturally. Quite a few of us in WD seem to have low Vit D. I have read your posts and it seems we have suffered the same WDs, burning, tinitus, insomnia.

 

I am 18.5 months CT from ambien. Praying by the 2 year mark we are healed.

 

Always, cindy

[[Mi...]]

Oh thank you Nova!  I needed that!   

[[Si...]]

Siggy, I have been staying away from doctors for past 6 months now, except when I got a bad UTI a few weeks ago. I don't even bother anymore with trying to convince doctors, I obtained copies of my medical records and they wrote me up like I was a nut case, "in her mind she believes", etc, etc.

 

I too have a low VIT D and was prescribed 50,000 units weekly, I decided to take morning walks instead to get my Vit D naturally. Quite a few of us in WD seem to have low Vit D. I have read your posts and it seems we have suffered the same WDs, burning, tinitus, insomnia.

 

I am 18.5 months CT from ambien. Praying by the 2 year mark we are healed.

 

Always, cindy

 

Yes it doesn't help I work in an office building and don't have a window. Very true with the doctors. This jerk said that ambien is perfectly safe, especially in low doses. I see from how many people on BBs that were on zdrugs and clearly have had a problem.

[[Mi...]]

Siggy, I of course can't feel your pain and honestly I haven't had problems sleeping so I can't really give you advice on what to take what not to take!  But for me putting a pill in my mouth has been the biggest mistake of my life!  And I honestly will never do it again! 

 

Now maybe that's  something I will have to work on when I get well! As I recently found out some members of my family have been crushing up supplements and feeding them to me in a shake lol! Yep, my holistic doc is getting them in me someway or another I guess!  So as you can see I have a terrible time even getting in my vitamin B's and D!   

 

[[ci...]]

siggy, so glad you did not take the ambien. Tammie1 had completely recovered from benzo WD at 18 months and then took ambien for 5 nights and went back into acute WD and still is suffering today. She misunderstood since z-drugs are defined as Nonbenzo , she thought it was safe to take.

 

Stay away from z-drugs, just as poison as a benzo, same shit!

 

Siggy, it is great you have been working thru WD, what an accomplishment, I was unable to work my first year off, I have been back at work for 6 months now, it is such a struggle but the distraction is good.

 

[[Si...]]

siggy, so glad you did not take the ambien. Tammie1 had completely recovered from benzo WD at 18 months and then took ambien for 5 nights and went back into acute WD and still is suffering today. She misunderstood since z-drugs are defined as Nonbenzo , she thought it was safe to take.

 

Stay away from z-drugs, just as poison as a benzo, same shit!

 

Siggy, it is great you have been working thru WD, what an accomplishment, I was unable to work my first year off, I have been back at work for 6 months now, it is such a struggle but the distraction is good.

 

Wow that's horrible about that happening. I went back to work somehow 4 days after quitting. It's not easy at all. Mainly because of the missed sleep.

[[Mi...]]

Nova what is dr/panic  episode ?  Not familiar with what dr means?

[[No...]]

Jen ... de-realization and de-personalization ...

 

Let's try it this way ... the experience of being in a room ... and the several ways I can experience being in that room ...

 

The room has a certain atmosphere ... and we may have memories of being in that room in the past ... and every time we are in that room, consciously or not, we mentally and physically respond to being in that room ...

 

I believe the "dp/dr - panic" episode is a two step process ... and the "dp/dr" we experience is real, perhaps not necessarily "normal" but real nonetheless ... and our bodies respond to whatever reality we are experiencing ...

 

We can experience the room as being overly warm or cold, we can experience the room as having too much light or not enough light, we can experience the sound in the room as deafening or soundless ... we can experience the walls of the room as closing in, or being tilted, doorways out of place, windows misshapen ... we can experience the loss of colour in the room, things go black and white or all grey ... we can lose any sense of perspective in the room ...

 

Or we can experience a sense of detachment, where we do not feel being in a chair, or remember walking across a room ... or rather than walking we are floating ... we lose connection with proprioception ...

 

I believe the concept here is our experience of proprioception ... our awareness of being in a space, our awareness of navigating through a space, our awareness of our bodies responding to these experiences ... and the drug and the healing process has displaced temporarily or intermittently our memories, the shortcuts we have relied on ... our mental pathways are disrupted for a period of time ...

 

And because of the drug and the healing process these experiences are "real" ... and our bodies respond accordingly ... fear or flight/fright may kick in ... panic may ensue ... or anxiety may escalate to panic ...

 

Examples from my past ... I would be walking down the sidewalk and the sidewalk was tilted ... tress were jumping around ... any sound was overwhelming ... there was no colour, everything was grey ... or ... I would have no sense of how I got somewhere ... seems I shut down my awareness all input processing while getting there ... and I would find myself standing there with a feeling of being "lost" ...

 

For a long time I was constantly asking my wife if it was hot in here, or cold in here ... or I would comment that she could get through the doorway without bouncing of the walls and I couldn't ... I would reach for something and "miss" ... I would experience my sense of balance as being totally off yet I could stand on one foot totally relaxed ...

 

And there is often the instant response of fear/panic if an experience is overwhelming ... with all the usual physical responses ...

 

There is nothing to "blame" here ... our internal pathways that produce our experience of day to day normal have been disrupted and are being adjusted ... hence my usual confidence in my safety ... I can calmly write about some of this stuff now, however in the moment I was often overwhelmed ... and responded accordingly ...

 

This is a confusing one to talk about ... hope this helps a bit ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Ko...]]

Nova & Coop,

 

So good to hear from you. Thanks for the kind words. Somehow you always make me feel better.

Coop, I'll hit my 2 yr mark on Dec 2. I'm thinking now that I may have a few more months to go. Let's hope not, but I've lost some of my confidence. Nova, hope the antibiotics work and you get better & back to living.

 

Korbe

[[Ko...]]

Ziggy,

 

I feel so bad for you. I've suffered with insomnia for two years. I sleep now but at really weird times.

I may sleep from 2 to 4 then I'm awake for an hour and then back to sleep from 3 to 5. This goes on all morning and finally I get up for good at noon.  I'm retired, so I don't have a work issue. What I found was it best to just accept it and not fight it and sleep when I can.  I'm getting about 6 hrs now, but in two hour segments.

 

I wouldn't take anything else. It might screw up your W/d. If possible, take some time off work until your sleep improves some.

 

You can find other advice in the insomnia section on the home page.

 

Hang in there buddy.

Korbe

 

 

 

[[No...]]

Korbe ... the loss of some confidence is a pretty common effect during this process ... I sure experience it off and on ... just another one of the rollercoasters we take too many trips on ... 

[[Si...]]

Ziggy,

 

I feel so bad for you. I've suffered with insomnia for two years. I sleep now but at really weird times.

I may sleep from 2 to 4 then I'm awake for an hour and then back to sleep from 3 to 5. This goes on all morning and finally I get up for good at noon.  I'm retired, so I don't have a work issue. What I found was it best to just accept it and not fight it and sleep when I can.  I'm getting about 6 hrs now, but in two hour segments.

 

I wouldn't take anything else. It might screw up your W/d. If possible, take some time off work until your sleep improves some.

 

You can find other advice in the insomnia section on the home page.

 

Hang in there buddy.

Korbe

 

Thanks Korbe, yes I've been all over the insomnia forum. Sorry your sleep is so broken. I can't take off of work. I have to make money. I did sleep about 5 hours last night. I didn't think I would, but started getting sleepy on the sofa around 11:30pm. Usually when that happens and I get up to get in bed, I'm not sleepy anymore. It took a while to fall asleep, but I'm glad I did. Tonight I'm starting back acupuncture to see if it will help with the insomnia and depression.

 

Hope everyone else is doing ok this Friday.

[[ci...]]

Korbe, your sleep pattern is like mine, broken sleep , usually it is the night sweats that wake me up every 1-2 hours. I also have the lack of confidence, it is because I can not trust my mind or body, never know what it is going to do.......weird, but true.

[[Mi...]]

Yes Nova,  That is what I have going on and I am really really scared!  Is it ok to have this now again! I really hate this!  This is what put me in my closet in acute!  You explained it perfectly Idk others experience this to!  It's the worst!    Is this ok this far out?

[[Mi...]]

The dr anyone have this past 20 months it grabbed onto me yesterday!  Or is this some kinda nervous breakdown?

[[Si...]]

The dr anyone have this past 20 months it grabbed onto me yesterday!  Or is this some kinda nervous breakdown?

 

Wish I could help. I've only had D/P D/R a couple of times luckily. Probably not a nervous breakdown. More likely a wave.

[[dr...]]

Hi all...lots of suffering and not too much to say about it except it will go away as we know

 

I am okay...I am getting symptoms of my visual aura coming on.  Eyes hurt yesterday, too much energy at night, poor sleep....we shall see.  I finally have an appt at the headache center on Monday.  My headaches have improved in intensity but getting these auras more often than ever still sucks.  I am not going to take any meds but i'm interested to chat with a top head guy.  See if they believe in benzo syndrome, maybe learn something,  etc... 

 

Other than that everything is much less in intensity.  No morning yucks at all which is a pleasure.  Preaching to the choir but my sleep really really sucks.

 

I posted this on Yelp(online review) about my last shrink.  I didn't tell the whole truth as no one would believe it.  They would just think I am a one off crazy ass loon here it is...

 

I think I owe it to people to give a review just to help someone else avoid what I went through.  His use of medications is liberal to put it kindly. Put me on a benzo. I questioned him about the safety of the meds and it was brushed over. My anxiety/panic got way worse on the meds and when I suspected this he said it couldn't be.  I also raised concerns about addiction. He told me I didn't have an "addictive" personality and I could just stop in two weeks.  Oh boy...was he wrong!!!  I finally used the Internet to find out what was happening and when I brought the info to him he literally threw it in the garbage in front of me. Turns out your not supposed to be on a benzo longer than 2-3 weeks. I stopped seeing him and it has taken me almost four years to get off and recover from the meds.  The drugs it turns out were making me 100x sicker than what I went for in the first place.  I am now almost recovered, take absolutely nothing, and have no anxiety other than normal stuff. This has been the worst four years of my life I wouldn't wish what I went through on my worst enemy. 

The suffering was immense and what made it worse was his denial that the drug could be the cause. I was told it as my original anxiety and it was in my head.  Look benzo withdrawal symptom on Google or Wikipedia and you'll get an idea of what can happen. I was a pretty normal guy until this whirlwind stole four years from me.

 

I was hesitant to write this review because I think he's just ignorant and really not a bad person. The ignorance on his part though outweighs any other consideration I may have and I hope this can save one person from the hell I went through.

Modify message

 

[[...]]

Jen it's NOT a nervous breakdown. I am forever thinking it's a breakdown and lots of people think this because it's so horrible. If we were going to have one, it would have happened by now. We are strong!!! Stronger than we realise. I am in a wave too after a better day yesterday and then a really bad night with benzo flu and no sleep. I get DP too from time to time. Today I'm convinced I am dying only I know I'm not, if you know what I mean  I'm so tired but so flat. We are not better yet but we are headed the right way. 

 

I really think this is our healing crisis before things get so much better.

[[dr...]]

jen...my therapist says no one really has a psychotic break after thirty.  It usually happens in teens or early twenties.  I too thought my mind was breaking many times.  It is soooo scary just like the dark thoughts I used to get a few months ago.  It will pass. 

[[Si...]]

Hi all...lots of suffering and not too much to say about it except it will go away as we know

 

I am okay...I am getting symptoms of my visual aura coming on.  Eyes hurt yesterday, too much energy at night, poor sleep....we shall see.  I finally have an appt at the headache center on Monday.  My headaches have improved in intensity but getting these auras more often than ever still sucks.  I am not going to take any meds but i'm interested to chat with a top head guy.  See if they believe in benzo syndrome, maybe learn something,  etc... 

 

Other than that everything is much less in intensity.  No morning yucks at all which is a pleasure.  Preaching to the choir but my sleep really really sucks.

 

I posted this on Yelp(online review) about my last shrink.  I didn't tell the whole truth as no one would believe it.  They would just think I am a one off crazy ass loon here it is...

 

I think I owe it to people to give a review just to help someone else avoid what I went through.  His use of medications is liberal to put it kindly. Put me on a benzo. I questioned him about the safety of the meds and it was brushed over. My anxiety/panic got way worse on the meds and when I suspected this he said it couldn't be.  I also raised concerns about addiction. He told me I didn't have an "addictive" personality and I could just stop in two weeks.  Oh boy...was he wrong!!!  I finally used the Internet to find out what was happening and when I brought the info to him he literally threw it in the garbage in front of me. Turns out your not supposed to be on a benzo longer than 2-3 weeks. I stopped seeing him and it has taken me almost four years to get off and recover from the meds.  The drugs it turns out were making me 100x sicker than what I went for in the first place.  I am now almost recovered, take absolutely nothing, and have no anxiety other than normal stuff. This has been the worst four years of my life I wouldn't wish what I went through on my worst enemy. 

The suffering was immense and what made it worse was his denial that the drug could be the cause. I was told it as my original anxiety and it was in my head.  Look benzo withdrawal symptom on Google or Wikipedia and you'll get an idea of what can happen. I was a pretty normal guy until this whirlwind stole four years from me.

 

I was hesitant to write this review because I think he's just ignorant and really not a bad person. The ignorance on his part though outweighs any other consideration I may have and I hope this can save one person from the hell I went through.

Modify message

 

Glad you did put the review up. Hopefully if it even saves one person from this shit, then job well done. Even if he isn't a "bad" person, him being ignorant when you're supplying some info he should pay attention, almost makes him worse. As medical professionals it's their obligation to "do no harm". Which clearly they are causing a lot of. I was very normal rather well adjusted before all this happened too. Now I'm a wreck of a person.

 

 

[[No...]]

Drew ... good job posting that review ... the entire issue is contained in the principle of "informed consent" and as Siggy says "first do no harm" ...

 

Informed Consent is predicated on the correct information ... not opinion, bad day vibes, the phase of the moon, or the direction of that rooster crowing last night ...

 

And the correct information is out there ... 

[[mr...]]

Heyo gang,

 

Just stopping by to say a brief hello.  Wanted to let y'all know that I stop by often and catch up on how everyone is doing!

 

I've been doing very well, all things considered.  I've been a bit "wavy" the past couple weeks, with some anxiety, mild DP/DR (or cog-fog), teensy bit of panic, mild fear, fatigue, nausea, and generally feeling "bleh" here and there.  All temporary, we know!  I was reminiscing today over the past year, and I had a thought ~ this next year will most likely be 100% feeling normal again for all of us!  I am looking forward to it.  My symptoms track closely to someone who has been off for about 16-20 months or so, so I believe it's all downhill from here   All the "aches" and "pains" and "annoyances of Year Two will be a faint memory in Year Three, I believe...and recieve...and look forward to it...

 

Hope everyone is moving forward and doing well.  No matter your path, I believe it will end in TOTAL recovery, 100%, nothing missing or broken   Love to you all gang,

 

Mrs.