[Mi...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Morning Everyone! Wishing you all a wonderful Friday and a peaceful wknd! With many sun breaks! Well I broke down yesterday! Went to a medical clinic, oh Boy! It was the first time being in a clinic and not freaking the **** out sense my cold turkey close to death experience 2 years ago! I was a little nervous had to work on my breath a bit BUT, my BP was 115/65 usually in a clinic setting since my CT experience they rush in a EKG cart after taking my BP My heart rate was normal the nurse didn't have to recheck it every 2/3 min lol! Oh my what this poison has done to us! So, I have referrals to a ENT and gastro specialist! Also neurologist! I think they took pitty on me as they pulled some strings and got me in with the ENT today at 1:00! This is my worst sx! And I told them I was going to go absolutely crazy with this throat closing sensation! And that right now I either have to have someone who specializes in throats look at it or I needed to be admitted to a hospital or mental ward depending on who could help best with the throat! She didn't laugh!!! And, I don't think she thought I was serious! But, I was! So I am nervous but in a way so relieved! What ever it is it can't be worse that my What IFS! The gastro and neurologist will be calling to schedule! This apt with the throat Doctor couldn't be coming at a better time! As I am packing up the family today to drive out of state this afternoon to see the in laws for my daughters bday! Oh my, that's sure a lot in one day! At least now when I am driving out in the middle of nowhere and my throat feels like it's closing hopefully I will be able to laugh at it after my apt today! And say I know it's just the benzo poison and continue down the road! :smitten: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Hi everyone, rant alert!!!! Well I was feeling a bit better last night, you know, when this tricks you into thinking you might be, just might be improving. Nope, today has been a crapper and this morning I could have had a complete temper meltdown before i went to work. just sick and tired of dragging myself around trying to get ready for work, having to try to ignore the thoughts that this is how I am going to be now. My neck is driving me insane with its clicking and soreness and the top of my spine is now stiff which is fueling thoughts that I have some disease that is spreading down my back. On a positive i have not had the massive head pressure, just an uncomfortable sore tingling, burning feeling in my head/scalp. Oh and I'm jittery. I don't want to feel angry, I want to feel peaceful and content. I could have a wonderful life if it wasn't for this. It's just so exhausting and yes, as Nova says, it's boring! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Jen-nothing wrong with getting some reassurance for the final leg of your journey Marj-argh! As has been said many times it's Groundhog Day and I would like to add IN HELL part Hope your evening is better as your day is getting close to done. I have the same thing with my neck lately so it's very unlikely we both got the same disease unless it spreads on this site I had a siggy type night which sucked...woke up 2x with racing heart from bad dreams and once I woke unable to breathe from gastric reflux...yuck! Luckily, I am working from home today as I am exhausted more than the usual exhausted. Nothing much to say more than my symptoms are still here oh..went back to flotation tank homer...smoking monkey just didn't feel right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[pe...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Texas Mama, yes yes and yes! My memory is NOT good I feel as if I have dementia! But my mind was always sharp before so I don't let it worry me! When I visited the neurologist a week or two ago (can't remember ) she said she would send me to a neurologist who specializes in dementia because that's what my cluster of symptoms suggests to her - dementia. Now, we know it's benzo induced but it's an interesting and telling frame for what's happened to us. But hopefully it's getting better and not worse. That seems to be my case, although I still feel confused, spacey, unclear on a daily basis. But I haven't gotten lost on my way to work for a few months… oh the things we appreciate in recovery. Peace2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Marj ... that "disease" spreading down your back ... the one connected to the clinking and clanging neck ... and the one where the head pressure is missing ... and the one where your scalp is on fire ... It is called ... wait for this ... drum roll please ... ta da... WHNGAC-AIIDGASIWS ... "I Have Not Got A Clue - And If It Does Not Go Away Soon I Will Scream" ... Found it on Dr Google ... they say it is only temporary ... and only found in folks who insist on getting benzo free ... that's the good news ... And ... there is no bad news ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Good Afternoon ... a few symptoms are banging around in the closet like a demented skeleton ... making lots of noise but not really bothering much ... The rain has calmed down some so I got out this morning few a few hours ... ran some errands ... went to the market ... Not what I know as "effortless" but nothing that would drive me to drink ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Endoscopy ... had one a while back ... maybe about 10 months ago ... lasted about 7 or 8 minutes ... unpleasant but not frightful ... gave me a muscle relaxant which wore off very quickly ... Had it to verify that I did not have anything going on that was not benzo recovery related ... nothing found ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Hi Drew ... I see we are tied again on the post counter thingie ... your turn ... I did notice the smoking monkey image ... now Homer is back ... round and round we go ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Si...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Hi everyone. My wave just slightly diminishes everyday. (Knock on wood!) yep drew, these mass shootings are crazy. It's especially scary because my wife is a school teacher. While she teaches elementary, it's still scary to think that places of eduction are high up on the targets for these murderers. Hope today is going better for you. TX, yes I get a lot of the brain fog. Mines probably not as bad as some people on here, but it does suck. It hit me quickly while I was on the Lorazepam. I was already forgetting things when I was barely on a week and a half. It was one of the first signs that this shit is garbage and that I needed to stop taking it. marj, tantrum away. My wife has seen it from me plenty of times. Now she's a seen a lot from me that never happened before this crap. I hate the gain some loose some with this too. It's almost more frustrating than the actual symptoms (I did say ALMOST). I hate feeling like you're over something just to get hit harder again right after. Makes no sense to me. martin, WAR EAGLE! nova, glad you had a respite and were able to make it to the market. Hopefully this massive hurricane churning out at sea will make a sharp right and won't dump a bunch of rain and damaging wind on your neck of the woods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Siggy ... this one is going to be a fish storm ... they are now forecasting the track south of Sable Island ... the last time a storm starting with "J" was 12 years ago ... they called in Juan ... a cat 2 that blew right through Halifax ... the swath it cut looked like a war zone ... There was a lot of damage and some folks lost there lives ... Then a few months later we got smacked with "White Juan" ... humungous blizzard and snowstorm ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ON...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Hey all! Thanks for startin this new thread I'm at 20 months off and still in acute with extreme muscle pain, GI and several other symptoms. Is this normal? Are we going to heal soon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Si...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Siggy ... this one is going to be a fish storm ... they are now forecasting the track south of Sable Island ... the last time a storm starting with "J" was 12 years ago ... they called in Juan ... a cat 2 that blew right through Halifax ... the swath it cut looked like a war zone ... There was a lot of damage and some folks lost there lives ... Then a few months later we got smacked with "White Juan" ... humungous blizzard and snowstorm ... Yep, pretty scary stuff. My mom lives right on the gulf coast in the Florida panhandle. That string of crazy hurricanes something like 10 years ago really did them over. I think there were parts of 2 or 3 hurricanes that just fubared everything. They almost moved from living on the coast because of it. Of course it could have been worse for them as some people's whole houses were ripped up. It destroyed a lot of business totally. Her city was kind of a ghost town for business for a long time. One house had a 500 gallon propane tank in their back yard. My parents ended up with someone's large sailboat in their backyard. One corner of their foundation was washed away too. The dock was totally wiped out except for the main posts. Luckily we're mostly insulated from the majority of the storms that hit here in Atlanta. We can get a lot of rain and high winds, but that's usually the most of it. Hope you avoid the worst of it for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Sa...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Hi guys. I'm only 13 months out but I was told I could hang out in here, so here I am. I didn't know where to post this but I just needed to tell someone that would understand what I triumph I had this morning. For the first time in 6 months I actually woke up with zero anxiety and was able to sleep in until 9:30 AM!!!! Normally I am awakened to the most horrendous anxiety between 7-8 AM and it takes me all morning and a lot of the afternoon to shake it - it has been one of the most absolutely unbearable aspects of this entire withdrawal. Every night before I sleep I pray (and I'm not even religious) that I will wake up like a 'normal' human being, well, today was the day!! woot -woot!! The rest of my day has been slightly craptastic, but I'll take it. Hope everyone is getting by the best they can and is looking forward to the weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Thanks Drew and Nova. I know sometimes the posting is like groundhog day too, sorry to be so repetitive. Tonight, compared to last night is like black and white. I'm so fed up :'( and I know I'm not on my own. Welcome Sashmina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Marj ... being sorry for being repetitive is not allowed ... Rule No 64 for this thread ... can't remember what the other 63 are ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Well ... Friday evening here ... had a bit of an up and down day ... nothing too dramatic ... Good to see everyone ... welcome to the new Folks ... Hope we all have the best weekend we can ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Thanks Nova, you make me smile through my tears tonight. This is a toughie and when I retired last night I felt happy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I'm having a bit of a throwback day. Caught marj's neck disease. Rolling and pulling feeling on my shoulder and neck muscles which are tight as hell. Also gut issues which are giving me sternum pressure Haven't had these in a long time. Thanks Marj! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Ah Marj ... this will get better ... and right now it is very hard for you ... and you are doing a hugely fine job ... Thanks for reminding me about Rule No 21 ... smiling through our tears ... when we can ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Hey Drew ... "throwback" reminded me of something ... maybe we should try "catch and release therapy" ... when we catch a symptom we just release it, and if that doesn't work, we throw it back ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 sounds much better to me. I'm feeling yucky but I need to get out and gently walk. it's beautiful here and I am feeling trapped by my house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Enjoy your walk Drew ... hope things un-yuk for you tonight ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Nova Drew, stop playing catch with my neck disease and don't throw it back, I've got butter fingers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted October 2, 2015 Author Share Posted October 2, 2015 Get a good rest, Marj ... tomorrow is always another day ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[dr...] Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I blame marj....whatever I have I'm just blaming her from now on Hope you have a betterer day tomorrow. Did 2 miles. Didn't feel good but I did it. Had assorted sensations my brain wanted to panic about but I just kept repeating "it's all withdrawal and if panic comes so what. What would be different than any other day I didn't die". Did lots of gentle stretching and now off to take a jacuzzi bath. Nova-you want to come over for dinner? I have scallops but I'm too nauseous to eat them. Some pasture raised gluten free breaded chicken tenders w homemade olive oil mayo for me. It's the healthy version of the kids menu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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