Klonipin Taper Plan and Reduction Journal (Personal Style)

[[th...]]

Heya, one of the other members alerted me to the thread.  As much as I've found BB to be a great site full of useful information, I also find that if I read too much about the horror stories I get really discontent and fearful.  That's why my updates aren't as much as I originally planned.  That being said, and runnermc I really appreciate the love and care that you show towards me and my thread, I'll go into detail about the last few months. 

 

Firstly and honestly I will say that I have never, not yet, made it to a dosage that I can 'hold' at.  I'm trying my ass off to stop at 2mg and somehow, someway, I always sneak in an extra one or two here and there.  I attribute that to being a person of habit, and I take my doses when I wake up now.

 

Well, since I work the night shift, and my doctors and all other responsibilities happen while most people are sleeping, I tend to have two 'wake ups' during one day.  I tend to take two fairly long naps during the day.  I cant do it any other way.  My job is such that I need to be awake from 12midnight to 10:30am at least, many days.

 

So since Klonipin is so helpful at getting me to sleep a few hours after dosing, it does it's job and gets me to sleep so I can maintain a working lifestyle.

 

Okay, bad stuff over with.  I have made very significant progress over the last few months.  I am ALMOST at the 2mg mark where I can hold.  January I took something like 19 .5mg doses over the 2mg a day mark, and in February I took something like 10.  So progress IS happening.  It's just not happening quickly.

 

The good part is that I'm not hitting tolerance it seems just yet and my body seems to be OK with the slow dropping in dosages 'per month' other than 'per day'. 

 

I know I've failed my plan, but in failing my plan there is still much to be happy about. 

 

Sadly about an hour ago I found out about my grandfather who I knew rather well as a child, he taught me many things about how to maintain a car and household repair, is going to pass away very soon in an area very far from me.  It's awful since I just previously lost my other grandfather just six months ago.  Coincidentally, I texted my mother to tell him thank you for teaching me how to replace a specific part in my car, as I remember from something like 20 years ago, not knowing that he was fading in and out of consciousness.  I had no idea.  I thought he was well and fine.  This is during a period where I rarely had much direct contact with my grandparents.

 

I have to maintain my strength and not fall into using Klonipin to dull the pain.  I did that once in my life (with a drug other than Klonipin) and though it's been ten years, I've still never mourned properly. 

 

And finally, I'm seeing a  counsellor and a psychiatrist from the same place now, as well as a general practice doctor.  I'm taking steps every week to try to help my anxiety and mental health, and I don't know if it will work... but I'm doing all that I know what to do in order to fix these issues. 

 

Thank you for caring.  It does mean quite a bit.

[[ru...]]

It's great to see that you are making progress!  I'm your biggest fan right now!  I want to see you do this!  You say that you take extra pills out of habit - let's stop doing that!  

 

Now you're at 2mgs.  That's great!  That's where I started (refer to my signature at the bottom)!  I made some really big cuts, and would recommend that you take it a little slower than I have been taking it.  Maybe cutting .25mgs every three weeks?  That's what I was doing for a while.  That seems a little healthy - to me at least, but you know what they say: "Everyone is different."  It seems like you want to get this over with quickly, but at the same time, it seems like you don't want to let it go.  If that is the situation, then really reflect on how addiction effected you in past addictions.

 

I applaud you on not reading the horror stories!  I stopped doing it for a while, but I find it healthy that I read them every once and a while.  They keep me grounded.  Most of the time, I just come on BB and update my blog.  I really want to document this experience so that I can come back and look at it years down the road to remind myself to never walk down that road again.  Again, blogging is another healthy thing that has been working for me - even if not many people read it!

 

Finally, find the speed that works for YOU, but stick to it.  Like you, I'm not tolerant to the drug, but It has effected me in big way.  I really feel the withdrawal the lower I get.  It's a scary thing, but I know that I will feel so much better in a few months.

 

Keep it movin' man!  Again, I'm really rooting for you.  Reach out to me at any time!

 

-Nick

[[Ba...]]

Runnermc, I read your blog and congratulate you on your progress.

 

Best of luck - and well done. You have accomplished a great deal and have a great attitude 😄

[[Ba...]]

Kdawg - so sorry to hear of your dreadful news - you know how to contact me, and I'm here for you whenever you need it