12-18 month support

[[No...]]

Coop ... the rabbit hole is closed ... got flooded during the spring thaw ... no longer available ...  got to detour around it ...

 

No toxic stuff for me today either ... woke up pretty messy but things seem to have settled down during the day ... lots of muscle tension and contraction ... not much else ...

[[Co...]]

Nova...so glad to hear that...about the toxic stuff gone today...We are going to get there too buddy...Yes, the rabbit hole...didn't jump in...just toeing the edge

....carry on Nova.....coop

[[dr...]]

Yeah...I think she posted a success and then got hit again. What is really hopeful is that anyone of of us can heal at any moment now.  We are all in that "healing zone".  We are kernels of corn just waiting for our turn to pop 

[[je...]]

But do you guys think we just wake up healed one day? I think its just a slow steady progression of getting better.

[[Co...]]

Jenny, I think so too...I think it is circular...with waves getting further apart and sx dropping off along the way and maybe returning and dropping off again. That's just a stab in the dark.  Who knows.  But I love the popcorn anology.  Lol...

[[dr...]]

I think we all hit a point when we know we are close to getting there for reals.  Not this feel good then not back and forth stupidity.  .  I like my analogy of us all cooking in hot oil too.  Lol.

[[Co...]]

Lol.  Yes.  Two stepping in hot oil..that's about right. Lol

[[je...]]

Coop, how's the anxiety going? Mine is better right now, but I feel nauseous and hung over, with a bad headache and pressure. I think my body was overstimulated from yesterday and now I'm paying the price... Good times..

[[Co...]]

Hi Jenny. really happy to hear that you are getting a break from that chemical feeling anxiety...it was knocking you around. Mine is much better today, just some minor shakes this morning and a few minutes of it this afternoon. It seems to pick up more when I go from resting to being active. I still have a lot of mental anxiety going on...mostly health fear, but at least that is more manageable than that raging chemical anxiety coupled with the health fear.

  ..I am really tired today too and spacey.  Kind of beat up from the weeks of chemical anxiety. My appetite is better...still have some boatiness going on.  But better so I am not going to complain ...it feels 20% better. 

  ..but I think I am going to have popcorn for dinner..

[[je...]]

Coop, popcorn for dinner?.... Yep, I've done that before lol. Glad we are getting a little break today, yesterday was a rough one-- I'm wiped out too.

[[sa...]]

Jenny -- I think you just enter a window of say 90% or so and it never closes, the waves stop. And over the following months you slowly get the remaining 10% back. That's  my theory anyway based on the fact that a lot of success stories start with "I'm not completely healed, but..."

[[sa...]]

Glad your having a better day Nova... I am also emerging from the storm today. Much better day than the last 20 or so...

 

Drew, I agree, we are in the zone and we could be healed any day. You never know at this point. It would be great if someone on this thread emerged from the last wave cured. We shall see...

 

[[Co...]]

Sasq, I enthusiastically  vote for your version of healing...that's the one I want...second to just waking up one day and finding myself out of this bad dream.

    So glad you are rolling out of this very long dark wave. ...Are you fatigued?.. My sx are better today too, but I am so fatigued I laid down on my bed at 4 and feel like I can not get up...I feel guilty complaining of that to you because I know you went to work today.  ..Wishing all of us your version of healing....right away please... coop

[[je...]]

Jenny -- I think you just enter a window of say 90% or so and it never closes, the waves stop. And over the following months you slowly get the remaining 10% back. That's  my theory anyway based on the fact that a lot of success stories start with "I'm not completely healed, but..."

 

 

I like this! I hope this becomes true for all of us very soon.

[[Gr...]]

Coop-here is the part of it.  I cut and pasted.

 

Benzodiazepines or cross tolerant drugs should be avoided after discontinuation, even occasionally. These include the nonbenzodiazepines Z-drugs, which have a similar mechanism of action. This is because tolerance to benzodiazepines has been demonstrated to be still present at four months to two years after withdrawal depending on personal biochemistry. Re-exposures to benzodiazepines typically resulted in a reactivation of the tolerance and benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome.[102][103]

 

 

I just finished a 45 minute meditation.  It really helps immensly.  Now if my dmn right index finger would stop twitching and it feels like someone or something is always pulling a nerve in that arm and hand.  crazy stuff

 

Holy cow!

[[Gr...]]

Another healing alert...yay...More Chocolate just posted on the Dizzy support thread. .she  jumped in May of 2013 and is in a 3 week window of " calm, peaceful, sleeping like a baby, no dizziness or other sx".  She is just a few months ahead of us and crossing the finish.  Was so great to read that as I am slipping into that rabbit hole of, ' this is my life now'.  Not going there.  coop

 

Wait a minute.  didn't she publish her success story?  Twice?  is she  back with symptoms? 

 

It's interesting, ppl who write a success story very early in the game, and those who wait until every last symptom is gone.  that's something we have to consider when we measure our progress against success stories.

[[Gr...]]

But do you guys think we just wake up healed one day? I think its just a slow steady progression of getting better.

 

I agree with the progression theory.  but I also think there's an abrupt dropping off of certain symptoms -- for me, the mental clarity.  that was like turning a light on in a dark room.  and certain things did just fall away, seemingly in one day.  And I've finally come to believe I will get a bad wave, and it will be my last.  then whatever is left, whatever symptoms are left, will gradually go away.

 

even now, as I feel worse, I can feel something getting better, healing, I guess.  I'm fairly miserable, though, so I can't get too excited about it

[[sa...]]

No fatigue today Coop, I have much energy. I've been cleaning my screed in porch so I can enjoy the summer nights air. Hopefully all this energy doesn't turn into an anxiety wave as it does at time. 

[[Gr...]]

Jenny -- I think you just enter a window of say 90% or so and it never closes, the waves stop. And over the following months you slowly get the remaining 10% back. That's  my theory anyway based on the fact that a lot of success stories start with "I'm not completely healed, but..."

 

Agreed.

 

[[Gr...]]

hi.  I'm lurking, kind of.  sorry.  too tired, too lacking in motivation to think of anything to say.

 

to everyone suffering, feel better. 

 

Coop, glad the anxiety is letting up.

 

 

[[Co...]]

Green, ...how is your fatigue...? ..My chemical anxiety is alot better today but I can barely get off the bed this afternoon and my stamina that started out goid this morning has now disapoeared.. ..

.....You sound mentally strong and totally confident in the fact that we are all going to heal. ...But you were the one from the very beginning that told us all, "nobody gets left behind". 

...Green...I hope your miserableness lifts ...hope this is our last heavy wave....coop

[[Gr...]]

Green, ...how is your fatigue...? ..My chemical anxiety is alot better today but I can barely get off the bed this afternoon and my stamina that started out goid this morning has now disapoeared.. ..

.....You sound mentally strong and totally confident in the fact that we are all going to heal. ...But you were the one from the very beginning that told us all, "nobody gets left behind". 

...Green...I hope your miserableness lifts ...hope this is our last heavy wave....coop

 

Coop, the nausea and dizziness lifted today. I'm sleeping, thank God, I'm grateful. 

 

But the energy level is so low it's ridiculous.  I just can't move.  and if I do get out, I want to come home and hit the couch and do ancestry.com.  it's not depression, I'm not teary, it's more like having no desire to do anything, and not getting any pleasure out of anything I do, I have to force myself to do something, and I get tired pretty quick.

 

I'm not trying to figure this out, I'm just waiting for it to pass.  But I am grateful the physical sx are calming down.  is fatigue physical? 

 

this is low battery, like Sky's TBI diagram.  it's not as bad as I've had it in the past, where the fatigue was so intense I was uncomfortable even when I was laying on the couch.  this is where I'm pretty comfortable as long as I don't try to do anything. 

 

Who knew fatigue could be so interesting, have so many dimensions?  LOL.

 

Coop, we are getting better, there's too many of us with the same symptoms.  I think this is how long it takes. 

 

I have to check out morechocolate's latest.

 

:smitten:

[[Gr...]]

SKY AND COOP

 

[move]Happy Month 18! :yippee: :yippee: :balloon: [/move]

 

Coop, I thought you were behind me, and, Sky, I thought you were ahead.  I can't even figure out how to past some anniversary flowers, so I'm not going to try to figure out the timelines.  Enough to say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to two of my favorite people here! Love you both!

[[Co...]]

Green, yep.  Me too.  Done by noon...body feels fatigued and heavy.  Also no interest and detached.  A true blob.  Ok...we are on the same track... again.. We are healing.  I just wonder where my spirit went.  Probably to inhabit a body with some start up power.  Rest well.  It is what it is and it will pass.  coop

[[He...]]

HH-- so great to hear from you! I'm in month 19 and I would say my anxiety has been debilitating since month 15 - I'm going on 5 months of this. I sure hope I follow your healing pattern and month 20 will be better for me. I had a pool party to go to today, was sick all day-- nervous, anxious, wanting to just crawl out of my skin.. I got through it somehow, we were there for 5 hours. I've been nauseous all day today too, everyone was offering me food and I would take two bites and pass it to my husband-- just couldnt eat, too nervous. The odd part is, I'm fine around people i mean I look/act calm and normal but I'm crazy anxious on the inside.

 

Hi Jenny,

What you wrote is SO familiar!  I was the same way....I looked/acted calm and normal, but inside was jumping out of my skin.  The only visual cue that there may have been as to the extreme level of my anxiety was when I would shake my foot or be fidgety in other ways.  It was very subtle though.  Always amazed me that I could feel inches from dying from anxiety, ready to unzip my skin and go screaming down the road (to use one of the earlier terms, but I forgot who originally said it ), and yet no one knew! 

I'm sorry that you are dealing with such anxiety now, but know that it CAN and WILL go away.  It's NOT you, it's simply the stage of withdrawal that you are current passing through.