12-18 month support

[[Mi...]]

Being from Nova Scotia, what do you think off that show The Curse of Oak Island?  Tell me something only a local would know about it, or have an opinion about.  I'm guessing you found 2 seasons of that show annoying but I'll let you do the talking.  : )

[[No...]]

Mike ... never watched it ... not my cup of tea ...

 

Have been to Oak Island ... interesting place ... lots of stories and stuff around about it ... who knows what is true and what isn't ... Europeans have been skulking around these parts for 500 years ...

 

Halifax and Louisburg have been hubs for seafaring stuff for a long time ... lots of pirate stories, some of them even true ... Oak Island isn't one of them ...

 

 

[[dr...]]

Very very encouraging post on first topic on post-re over board...by Tina..." It really does get better".. practically a success story ...at about 22 months if I read the signature line right..  Happy reading all....everytime I try to cut and pate it gets knarled....coop

 

Couldn't find it. 

 

 

My cbt doc said having the ct scan reinforces that something else is wrong w me besides withdrawal.  He said with all the tests I've had I haven't died yet and unless I'm bleeding out of an orifice I should assume it's withdrawal or die from it. He's 100% I won't die.  In theory makes sense but hard to pull off.

[[No...]]

Here it is ... Tina ... http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=133008.0

[[Co...]]

Drew, I don't want to take issue with your CBT guy.  but in my opinion....I think you did the right thing. I could be very wrong but I think when something scares us that bad and feels that wrong it's a good idea to have them checked out. He is not a brain sx expert. If you were in er every week it might be a problem, but you really endure your sx all the way out. Like Beulah, I was in er at least 3 times in my first year.  Health fear is a w/d sx and I think with healing the need to go to er naturally falls away. I could be way off...I am glad that went...coop

[[Co...]]

Thanks Nova...I post from my smart phone and I can never get that.. will get another tutorial from my daughter...coop

[[Co...]]

Drew, with all of your migraines, did you have a previous head ct? .. 

[[dr...]]

Nope coop

[[Co...]]

Well, do you feel more reassured about the migraines after seeing the results of your scan? .  I just think we need to cut ourselves some slack.  Go to er...don't go to er...it's really not that big of a deal. The important thing is...whatever keeps us off benzos and keeps us going to the end....We are all so different. ..what helps one might not help another. ....I am just very glad that you are ok and feeling reassured about the head pain.. .scary stuff.....coop

[[dr...]]

No regrets.  I'm happy with the reassurance.  If I get that pain again I'll probably have a panic flare but now the self talk will be more effective when I try and calm myself down.    This is all so difficult but I have to remember I've been doing really well. 

[[Co...]]

Sasq. ....how are you doing? ...hope you got a few sunbreaks.  coop..

[[Co...]]

Drew. ...you have been doing so great...I follow you for inspiration on dealing with health fear...you are miles ahead of me....This is so stinkin' hard. When I saw my pdoc today he said hardly anyone gets off and stays off. He then gave me so much rah rah for getting 18 months out....I felt like a first grader getting a colum of gold stars.........coop

[[be...]]

I am going to eat ice cream...Sit on your patio Nova and enjoy the sun.. in a few more days you will be rambling around again.. maybe not shooting right out there for 4 hours.. Today, your split pea soup sounds wonderful....get the Fed-X.....coop

Coop and Nova..you're making me hungry..split pea soup..ice cream..yummy!!

 

I pulled out of my wave a couple of hours ago....have been eating non-stop..chicken and noodles..brussel sprouts with bacon and now I'm working on a tuna sandwich. I didn't eat much yesterday and my body feels like I have been starving. I could really use a little meat on my skinny legs. I have not worn my ankle supports for three days now...no sprained ankles.The weight loss and weakened muscles really took a toll on my legs, I couldn't walk without spraining my ankles..they were to weak to carry my body weight...now they feel stronger... after eight months of ankle supports.

 

Coop..Nova..I wish you guys felt better...you both know healing is right ahead of you...hold strong my lovely people.

Coop, the Walton Christmas is coming on here at 8 pm it is now 7:45..I will be watching it.Hugs

[[dr...]]

Home now....I feel shell shocked....lots of running thoughts about what happened. Even though it all was nothing my brain is running "what if " scenarios.  It was so scary!!!  leaving a client appt was one of my biggest fears and it occurred.  My mind is trying to scare me into what if this happens again? What if I get the pain again?  I know all the answers and I'll be fine like I've always been before.  I sat through so many spots feeling like I was dying and next time if I get this pain I'll know I'm not dying just like all the other times.  It's all benzo lies and I'm probably over exhausted from what happened to me today.  Just typing out loud

[[Mi...]]

Mike ... never watched it ... not my cup of tea ...

 

Have been to Oak Island ... interesting place ... lots of stories and stuff around about it ... who knows what is true and what isn't ... Europeans have been skulking around these parts for 500 years ...

 

Halifax and Louisburg have been hubs for seafaring stuff for a long time ... lots of pirate stories, some of them even true ... Oak Island isn't one of them ...

 

Thanks for your side of things.  I figured as much.  The show wasn't my cup of tea either but they tried really hard to suck you in to achieve ratings.  I fell for it for a while, knowing nothing would ever happen and they wouldn't find anything.  Silly American!  Anyway, these days I spend most of my TV time watching drama movies or national news stuff.  That was the last reality type show I gave a chance to.  Thanks for your opinion, have a good night.

[[Co...]]

Drew, .. it took me a few weeks to shake off an er visit. It's traumatic in its own right...you are right..if it happens again with a client you will be able to stick with it. Your client is probably think nothing but to be concerned for you and wish you well....Glad you are home settling back into your familiar 'dafe' zone......coop

[[sa...]]

Coop -- I thought I was going to break out of this at noon, but the wave came back in and floored me. Struggling to get food into me before bed.

 

Beuh - I know what you mean. I get so hungry when I break out of a wave. I could eat everything in the fridge. Hopefully I'll be able to feast soon as well.

 

Off to bed. Hopefully a better day tomorrow. Hope everyone gets a break. This has been on tough week.

[[Co...]]

Sasq. ...that's how mine have been going lately too.  some hours of peace and then it circles around and gets me again.I have been getting hit hard in the mornings ...a few hours of kind of ok to ok and then I get hit again in the evening. ..It has been a hard month...Wishing you rest and a better day tomorrow...We all need the weekend.  coop

[[Ha...]]

I'm still here to... its like when is enough a nough... 

[[Co...]]

Hi Happy..jump partner....yep, me too...still here...also pushing out to month 24...Month 17 was a horror show for me, but I think it might be trying to straighten out. It felt like acute all over again after a 5 day window. 

....A few of us are in the soup this month...who would have thought when we started this that month 17/18 /19 would still be hard? ....But....we are 18 months closer...and I really believe that we are all going to have our lives back around month 24....give or take...Nice to see you here Happy...Wishing you some big sunbreaks....coop

[[Fi...]]

I'd like to put in a word for the benefits of avoiding the ER.  I'm not  sure the reassurance people sometimes claim to get outweighs the negatives such as the stress of the visit itself, the having to hear the doctors undermine your belief that you are indeed still in withdrawal, the possibility of being talked into taking meds that just set you back.

 

I don't believe I've ever read a BB story where somebody went to the ER fearing they had something life threatening going on and then found out they did, indeed, have a heart attack going.  There WAS a story today of a guy finding out his shoulder pain was actually something torn and NOT withdrawal, but that was not discovered in the ER.  Yes,  people in withdrawal can have other things going on, but the sort of things that send people to the ER in a panic seem to be just that....panic.

 

Drew--I'm sure that pain in your head was scary.  I, too, have a history of migraines and I think I've had had sort of pain going on all my life.  Seems like I've had several attacks of it lately and figured it was withdrawal.  So it's a comfort to me that others have experienced this too.  I always think "uh oh, anuerism," but then I don't die. 

 

I think withdrawal just gives us random pains all over the place.  Today, for crying out loud, my right knee started hurting so bad that my husband stopped on our way out of town to buy a bag of ice for it.  This is my right knee, my GOOD knee, with the left one being artificial and the right ankle being the one I broke and my right foot still hurts too.  This pisses the hell out of me because I just can't seem to win and not have a pain SOMEPLACE.  But it's going to have to hurt quite awhile before I go to the docs about it.  I'm just sticking to my belief that anything going wrong with me lately is withdrawal related and all will heal in due course.

 

If people WANT to go to the ER and they find some comfort in it, I wouldn't try to argue them out of it,  but I don't think a trip to the ER is necessarily a benign route to greater psychological comfort.

 

[[dr...]]

Fj-I agree w many things you said.  I never ever had my head checked out so I always had a bit of doubt it was from withdrawal.  In that sense me knowing my brain is all clear is a blessing.  In all the other ways it was very traumatic and I won't be going back unless it's something that keeps getting worse and worse. 

I'm looking at this as a learning experience for my health anxiety.  I had the initial pain that only lasted 2-3 seconds but the immediacy of an incredibly powerful adrenaline rush led to my catastrophic thinking.  I just analyzed this all w my therapist.  I need to be able to deal w the unexpected symptoms now. I'm good with all my regular old symptoms.

 

Going to work on my coping symptoms for unexpected shit which will hit. 

 

As my therapist said I had so many strange things go bonkers w me and I've had most checked out.  Not one thing HAS ever been seriously wrong w me.  Time for me to accept the facts that the odds of anything being wrong with me in the next year being not withdrawal related is next to nil. 

 

I don't smoke, eat fantastic, exercise and have had almost every test on heart n brain come back great.  The fact is the benzos make my body do weird things and I have to take responsibility to deal w it better.  Going to the ER was traumatic and it did put doubt about my healing for a bit.  I will be better w a good nights sleep.

 

Very good post fj!

 

[[Fi...]]

Thanks, Drew. 

[[Mi...]]

What a beautiful weekend this is going to be, too bad I feel HORRIBLE.  Started last night around 7:00.  Intense waves of dizziness and the feeling that for a second I'm falling.  Every 10-30 seconds I get another "mini-head rush?"  This is insane.  I somehow got to bed and slept 7-8 hours.  Woke up, started doing my normal chores and realized it was still with me.  Took a shower, had a V8 and some good cereal.  Nothing has changed.  Vision keeps getting blurry, feel like I am completely stoned or drunk or something.  I'm not nervous or revved up, just the opposite.  Very tired and dizzy.  I can't remember ever getting frequent waves off dizziness like this.  I have felt generally dizzy many times before, but it hasn't come in obvious waves like this.  I am supposed to take the little guy bike riding today then start staining a bunch of lumber for my next outdoor project.  Right now I feel like ralphing and going back to bed.  No clue what's going on around me.  This needs to stop, NOW!

[[be...]]

Mike...that happened to me last week. I was up only a couple of hours fixing myself some breakfast and I got really dizzy and my vision started getting blurry...I didn't feel any panic or anxiety..but I did feel drugged or drunk. After I ate my breakfast I got very tired ..I was watching tv and just fell over asleep...I slept for about 20 mins.and woke up feeling very tired and still dizzy. I decided to go for a short walk to see if I could walk off the drugged feeling...it got worse...I came back home and fell asleep again. My day ended up being a couch day.

 

Hope this doesn't last all day for you..the little guy needs a bike ride.