12-18 month support

[[Sk...]]

Hi Sky ... wishing you an "okay" day ... someday they will be really good days ...

 

I am taking the day "off" ... it is damp and chilly and windy outside anyway ...

 

Chopping veggies and will make a split pea soup today ...

 

 

Nova, split pea soup sounds yummy. 

[[al...]]

:'( i know most of you were on the drug much longer then me but i'm not sure it makes a difference... i'm really scared because i was such a short term user and starting 17 months today and still  have anxiety, d/p and this crazy humming in my head and fear.. god am i ever scared.. i might be able to get outside my house once a week and then i have to push.. i thinking i might have PTSD or i broke down with a mental break down.. i had no reason for a break down other than this w/d from 6 weeks use... i know we are all suffering but should i assume being a short term user that i would heal faster??? i sit in my bed everyday with fear.. :'(

[[Co...]]

Sas.. We are close in our jump dates.. I have Ben having the exact same sx all month....nausea, dizziness..vomiting ,diarhhea.. some tinnitus. Now I see Nova and Green are in sick bay.  What the heck. So far out. I had this about 10 days ago and now it's back.  Yesterday morning I was feeling better.. and it hit me again...It is reassuring to know that with all of us in bed miserable it must be benzo flu....or actual flu?..

...Green.. you said it...survival mode...no life survival mode..but I think you are also right about surrendering to it and not pushing, although I want to channel Mike too.

....Green , Nova and Sasq. ....pass the gingerale...hoping we all feel better . I am somewhat better if I am lying flat and still . ...is anyone eating anything more than soda crackers?  Thinking of everyone.  coop

[[sa...]]

Coop -- all i can get in me now is some Ensure. At least it's calories. Boy am I sick of drink those things. It will be good to enjoy food again when this is done.

[[No...]]

Coop ... have you tried some scrambled eggs in butter? ... maybe a piece of toast with it ...

 

Will send some pea soup over via fedex when it is done later this afternoon ... 

[[Co...]]

All, you are experiencing all the exact sx that I am. I am just at the beginning of month 18 from ativan ( lorazapam).  Ashton says it makes no difference how long we were on the drug.  6 months.. 6 years.  It's all the same The stories on this forum bear that out. People who have taken benzos for 2 months get hit just as hard as those who took it for years.

. . I am also back in an 'acute' wave and feel that this will leave me with PTSD.  In a good window I feel perfectly normsl...I think that's where we end up....completely normal with our lives back..  Try to remember that good day you had last week.  More are coming your way.  Hold on All, .. .you are going to get well too....coop

[[No...]]

Allbymyself ... there is no rhyme or reason to who ends up with what in this process ... for each of us all I can say  ... it is what it is ...

 

ANd ... I have found that self-diagnosis or what I call "future telling" has never been any help to me ... for me this goes for PTSD or a mental breakdown or anything else my goofy mind can come up with ...

 

Our weather is going to change around here this weekend and into next week ... being out in some warm sunshine will certainly help me ... even if it is just sitting out on the patio ... it has been a very long, long winter here in Halifax ... spring arrives 11 AM this Saturday ... guaranteed ...

 

[[Co...]]

Nova...you dear friend...can I have a raincheck on the eggs and pea soup? .  Yesterday I couldn't eat soda crackers.  You must be feeling a step up... that's good news and bodes well for the rest of who are retching and either freezing or sweating.. or both.  Carry on sickies. ..don't push...just take good care ...bring on the Ensure.. the ginger.  the soda crackers...the heated blankets.  Hunker down with whatever junk tv you have been watching for months and let it pass.  We will feel better.  .coop

[[Te...]]

Hi Coop.....wanted to ask you on referring to your comment about not making a difference how long on benzo....is  it the same theory for clonazepam .....or does it apply simply to Ativan ?

 

Im struggling with head tightness... already today so I hope I'm making sense.....

 

Hugs!TM

[[Co...]]

Texas, It applies to all benzos.. unfortunately. Yep, the head pressure...we all seem to get it throughout the w/d. There is a support group for it. .just go to the support group board and scroll down until you find it.. Mine comes and goes still at 28 months, but it lessens.

  Sorry you are getting hit with it.  Hot packs on my neck were sometimes helpful ..  coop

[[al...]]

nova..

 

i guess you're right.. i just can't get a grip on the fact that this has happened to me.. yes i'm waiting for the good weather here in halifax also so i can fight through this crazy fear and go for walks..

 

[[Co...]]

Texas...* 18*  months..not 28...I am 18 months off ativan

[[Te...]]

Thought my vision was goofy due to head pressure.....I double looked on the 28 months.....

Your sweet to correct..........

 

I'm really sad and sorry this happened to us all......it just wants to bring tears to my eyes....

 

Hugs!TM

[[al...]]

yes coop i had to look up your sig.. to see for sure i didn't think you were 28 months either..

 

i'd like to ask about this sx that makes me feel like i'm not conneted to my world..it seems so far away and it scares the crap out of me..did or does anyone have or had this??

[[Co...]]

Sasq. ...just to reassure you.. this is also my longest wave since acute.. I thought I must be the only one surfing a miserable 5 week wave ...essentially the entirety of month 17. ...I understand from my buddies here and from reading the success stories that this long bad wave in late recovery is often followed by a good happy leap in healing.  Let's hope so....coop

[[Mi...]]

Nova, god bless you for posting that same here.  Exactly the same here.  Get up in the morning..take the mental check...no dizziness.  no nausea.  no d/r.  feel half decent.  take the dog out....the day looks promising.. lasts 3/4 hours and turns on a dime. Trembling, anxiety/panic, health fear...plain old fear...back on the bed with the Waltons scared to death of everything.  I did get the dog out 3x...When was my daily agenda reduced to taking the dog out. Really trying hard to concentrate on, " my job today is solely to heal" ...and not think about what my life was or what it will be.. just surviving the cycling anxiety...I know it will pass.  Just not soon enough.  Nova, I am so sorry you are going through this too...hope this gets better for both of us ...onward.....coop

 

Nova, Coop  I'm right there with ya.  it's not as bad as last year (nothing is) but I had to shift into survival mode -- Yes, who said something about sensory overload?  that's how it feels.  so i'm laying low, lurking.  I'm channeling MikeJee now, don't want to get too excited!  (not kidding)  ttyl

 

Hello fellow lurker, my spidy senses could feel your channeling.  Yes, sensory overload.  Hate it.  Still get it.  Too much bad, too much good, too much funny....bzzzzzzzz...overload!  Revved!  Lay down/sit down and be quiet for an hour.  Goes away.  That's the side effect I will be the most glad to see disappear.  That's the only side effect that has been with me since day 1.  The only thing that varies is how much emotional stimulation it takes to start the revving. 

 

Hope you are doing well this afternoon Green.  Nice day in Mass, hope the same wherever you are.

[[Co...]]

Sky....your post of re-awakening to all the small miracles in life was so inspiring...We are now so deeply aware of the small beautiful moments in our day. I am thoroughly convinced that those moments of clarity and pleasure and happiness are the promises that a voice bigger and truer than benzo sends us to reassure us that healing happens...Sky...I am wishing you days and days filled with all those small joys...love to you...coop

[[be...]]

All, you are experiencing all the exact sx that I am. I am just at the beginning of month 18 from ativan ( lorazapam).  Ashton says it makes no difference how long we were on the drug.  6 months.. 6 years.  It's all the same The stories on this forum bear that out. People who have taken benzos for 2 months get hit just as hard as those who took it for years.

. . I am also back in an 'acute' wave and feel that this will leave me with PTSD.  In a good window I feel perfectly normsl...I think that's where we end up....completely normal with our lives back..  Try to remember that good day you had last week.  More are coming your way.  Hold on All, .. .you are going to get well too....coop

 

Coop, that is so true. Never in a million. yrs. would I have thought reinstatement of only 50 ativan in a three yr. period would bring about another withdrawal...which is so much worse than my previous 13 yrs. on xanax.

I thought I was being so careful and my own doc told me as long as I didn't take them everyday...I would be fine.

I've read on here of people going through protracted withdrawals after only a two week use.

 

My brother in law was prescribed a thirty day supply of valium after a car accident a few yrs.ago. His neck was injured after a car rammed him from behind and the docs told him to use the valium to keep the neck relaxed. He took them and after a month he was having withdrawal symptoms of panic, and not being able to breathe. His neck healed in a couple of months but he was unable to return to work for a few months because of the panic attacks, insomnia, and anxiety.

My sister said it took him every bit of a year to get back to normal...this is why I am believed by so many of my family members.

So many people out there in withdrawal and don't know it...then they are polydrugged with other meds because they are led to believe it's other psychiatric  symptoms...because according to the docs ...it couldn't be withdrawal.

Well...the good thing is ...we are armed with info and we know the truth...the whole truth.

If we all continue to get the word out there...we might save someone's life.

 

[[No...]]

Well ... by not going out this morning I seem to have only delayed my daily dose of this stuff ... right back where I have been for a few days ... back in the wavey panic and the breathing stuff and dizziness ...

 

Oh well, at least I will have a nice soup for dinner if I can manage to stir it every so often ... 

[[dr...]]

Well...Belau...my dad is convinced by his docs he cant have any anxiety or racing thoughts left over by the opiates he withdrew from thirty days ago.  he is now going to take lexapro which is better than the benzos but it is so frustrating.  I told him to just go do it because if he believes the dr's then go with that theory.  I can't help someone who trusts their dr.s word like that.  It is what it is.  At least it's not the xanax and if it he believes it will help it will help him mentally.   

[[al...]]

Well ... by not going out this morning I seem to have only delayed my daily dose of this stuff ... right back where I have been for a few days ... back in the wavey panic and the breathing stuff and dizziness ...

 

Oh well, at least I will have a nice soup for dinner if I can manage to stir it every so often ... 

nova... the soup sounds good i'll be right over lol... i'm going to lacewood drive for an MRI today..LOL!!!

[[dr...]]

Nova...what kind of soup?

[[No...]]

Drew ... split pea and ham ...

[[Co...]]

Nova,...fear not.  You are not alone.  Same here.  Exact same.. on my way for a chest x-ray. Only for reassurance, I am sure it is better than reinstating. That's absolutely all I am letting them do...I had an anxiety rush when I woke up.  Felt better.  Got up....all the sx hit me...talk later, will share my doctor visit with all when I get back.  Love to all .. coop

[[Sk...]]

Hi, I just gave this 60 second meditation a try and I thought I would share it with you. Here http://www.pixelthoughts.co/#

I wrote in the word withdrawal and I watched it become smaller and smaller in a starry sky, this is the link I am talking about. Anyway it was moving to see my problem written out there on the screen and then disappear, so I would really suggest you guys try it, typing in whatever you feel is your problem in this moment, your worst problem of course. 

 

Speak later, I am vibrating badly. I ju ;)st read in Baylissa's book, that the vibrations are a mistake of our perceptions. Well, of course they are, but still it's always nice to see it  spelled out in a book !

 

A part of me knows I will heal, but the other part of me, has pretty much gotten used to this life and sort of thinks it will go on forever. I have to work on this, because clearly it feeds some negativity and desperation. I have to constantly remind myself that all of this is temporary. Temporary as in a long time but it actually ends.

 

Even though, after 18 months, we are slightly justified in sort of thinking this is the rest of our lives.

 

Hugs to you, speak later, hope the meditation soothes you a little.