12-18 month support

[[No...]]

Hope you get a good rest Coop ... we are getting better ... we just have to hang on to that  for now ...

 

[[Co...]]

Nova, ...thanks...yep . We are getting better...if not there are enough Walton seasons to take one into the 95th year.. then plenty of Frasier to get to 100. 

[[No...]]

Ah Coop ... it is not going to take that long ... we have accumulated a lot of time ... and that time is valuable ... it tells us we are well down the road to healing ... a little while longer and we will be done ...

 

Remember ... we all heal ... nobody gets left behind ...

 

And in the meantime things do feel like they have gone on forever and sometimes feel like we will never get there ... and that is okay ... those feelings are okay ... and ... there are the other whispers ... we are healing ... we are getting there ... and we try to listen to these whispers as much as we can ...

 

[[Co...]]

Nova, yes...so glad not to be at the beginning...that would take me into 95...

[[No...]]

Coop ... almost 530 AM here ... time to get my morning rolling ... take care ... talk again this afternoon ... 

[[pe...]]

Life is unpredictable,

It changes with the seasons.

Even your coldest winter

Happens for the best of reasons.

And though it feels eternal,

Like all you'll ever do is freeze,

I promise spring is coming,

And with it, brand new leaves.

 

-E.H.

 

 

 

[[be...]]

Life is unpredictable,

It changes with the seasons.

Even your coldest winter

Happens for the best of reasons.

And though it feels eternal,

Like all you'll ever do is freeze,

I promise spring is coming,

And with it, brand new leaves.

 

-E.H.

 

 

I like that...and I believe everything happens for a reason.

[[sa...]]

17 months off the poison today! I never thought it would take this long. Unfortunately I don't have much to report. I keep cycling between two week periods of acute sxs and two week periods of feeling pretty good / functional. No real improvements in the past four months. I'm scared I'm going to get stuck at this level and become a protracted. Very scary...

 

Fear and electrocution feelings today are really playing with my mind. I need to stay positive, but struggling today..

[[Sk...]]

17 months off the poison today! I never thought it would take this long. Unfortunately I don't have much to report. I keep cycling between two week periods of acute sxs and two week periods of feeling pretty good / functional. No real improvements in the past four months. I'm scared I'm going to get stuck at this level and become a protracted. Very scary...

 

Fear and electrocution feelings today are really playing with my mind. I need to stay positive, but struggling today..

 

 

Congrats Sasquach !! :yippee: :yippee: :yippee:

 

Don't let wd distract you from what you have accomplished !

 

You are not going to be protracted, you would be at another level of suffering, really.

[[No...]]

Sasquach ... congrats on 17 months ... you are doing very well even though some days it does not feel like it ... keep truckin' ... 

[[Lo...]]

Amazing! I made it! Today, April 30th makes 1 year off! No rescue dose, no benzos!

 

Am I feeling like a rockstar? Physically not so much but mentally and spiritually I’m so thankful to God and proud of myself! Healing from Lyme Disease and going through benzo hell w/d all while maintaining a job and raising my 3 (almost 4 year old) son alone is nothing short of a miracle!

 

I’m functional, I feel refreshed despite the constant onslaught of the rocky boat stuff/disequilibrium. I can’t help but to feel in my heart that I am healing and very soon either some or all of these symptoms will be a thing of the past.

 

Here is what I’m dealing with:

 

Praying the symptoms below fade away quickly!

 

Inner ear disturbance (which causes head pressure, rocky boat sensation & poor balance) the #1 worst symptom!

Weak legs (started feeling strong mid-month)! I have very brief moments.

Shortness of breath (also got better…I went 4 weeks without this symptom)

Heart palps (also better until I got seriously stressed last week…but also went 4 weeks without any)

Anxiety (very low to none, went about 2-3 weeks without any anxiety)

Floaters (oh these are annoying)

Twitches (my hands started twitching more this last month—the thumb and index finger mainly)

Facial sensations

 

This is all I’m dealing with. I hate them…but it has been worse.

 

The other weekend I took one of the longest walks along the riverfront here with my son. I used my cane for balance (but barely…only when I stopped and I felt rocky). My legs and feet had a feeling I have not had since Sept 2012. After that long walk I wanted to go out and buy a pair of running shoes for more support. I ran marathons before I got seriously ill with Lyme Disease…to have this feeling was amazing!

 

There are days I have no head pressure, no brain fog and the dizzy/off balance crap feels better…on certain days.

 

I had windows in April! Hadn’t had one in months!

 

I’m praying for everyone on here…I know in the next few months to maybe a year serious healing will take place…and I will be 100% healed!

 

There is no turning back!

 

I love each of you!

 

Happy 1 Year Off to my jumping buddy Drew and also to SoCaler who is right behind us!

 

Many blessings!

 

[[Fi...]]

LovingMother--congratulations to you.  So glad you're feeling better and showing improvement.  Thanks for sharing.

[[be...]]

Sasquach-  17 months

 

We don't always feel the healing ...don't worry about protracted..it's just a scary word.

You're getting breaks of being functional...that's a good thing.

Yes, keeping positive is key...as hard as it may be.

Keep moving forward and tell the fears to take a hike.

[[dr...]]

Funny LM your sig says ! year and mine is at 12 months.  Wacky...

 

I am one year off too with my jumping a buddy LM and SoCal is there too.

 

I do feel much better on my good days and my bad aren't as bad as they were.  All of my symptoms unless in a mother of all waves are much less in intensity.  I am also able to hold it together mentally much better when getting hit with physical stuff.  That helps immensely.  I get maybe one panic a month after having several a day much earlier in my jump. I do get some one offs that art terrible but this IS benzoland.

 

Giving up gluten was a huge symptom improver for me as when I now eat some gluten my body reacts terribly.  I get major stomach pain, trots, and nerve pain.  In addition, I gave up gluten to cut the number of migraines(I was getting 4-6 per month).  I just had one in the mopnth of April so it is working.  I believe I had a long standing sensitivity to gluten which I didn't know about which caused lots of inflammation.  I remember drinking a beer and getting totally stuffed in the sinuses right away

 

I see a therapist for CBT and just to talk a bit.  I found that it is helping now but would have been useless during tapering or for the first 6-9 months post jump.  I went on these drugs for anxiety/panic disorder but my level is nil when not in a wave.  health anxiety can still creep up on me but I use CBT and avoid Dr Go ogle.

 

I still find my tolerance for stress is still not where I want it to be.  If I have too many meetings in a day my head starts buzzing and my ear ringing.  I can sit in a restaurant or a sporting event for about an hour after that the same things happen.  It is a big change from sheer panic and when I am not in a wave everything is tolerable and tolerable is fine with me as I continue out from my jump.  I believe   

 

I also am not thinking of withdrawal 24/7.  it is now a few times a day and I even forgot until now to post my one year dealio.  I used to count every day but not anymore.  I am also spending less time on the boards as it can drag me down into worrying about my healing.

I am optimistic that I will heal and just keep improving in areas I thought I would never feel good again.  I know I still have hard times in front of me but I also know without a doubt the worst is behind me.  I feel jinx typing that but I now know everything does lessen and clear up.  I am still a long way from saying I am healed(doing what I want when i want) but I am moving in the right direction.

 

Onward I go....     

[[be...]]

LovingMother-  :thumbsup:You did it!!!!!🆒

So happy for you...yes the symptoms will soon be a thing of the past!!!!

You sound good and have accomplished much.

Go towards the healing!!

Be well.

 

[[sa...]]

Thanks all.

 

I'm just trying to get through the day of work with these electric shocks pulsing through the body. I have to get my wife to a doc appointment tomorrow for here treatment. Praying for a good day tomorrow. Sooo overdue.  I'm banking on some serious healing as a result of this wave.

[[Co...]]

LM...CONGRATULATIONS..♡♡

...You have had a very tough time. You are am inspiration to all of us who are in this with you. I have such huge respect for how you have come through this. This is a near impossible travel for anyone, but mothers.and fathers of little kids are really the heroes in this impossible feat. ...and 100x more difficult for moms and dads doing this on thier own.

....You are going to go the distance and get your life back....love to you LM .....coop

[[Co...]]

Drew, ....whooohooo!!...you are sounding good friend...such a great post...way encouraging for the rest of us this thread to read...You and Beulah are rocking this.... keep posting...we are following ....coop

[[Co...]]

Peace, ...lovely words of encouragement...I really am in awe of the difference in your posts from last summer to now. I know you are still feeling plenty of sx and tough days, but you sound so grounded...and resolute about going to the end...

....You are going to make it all the way MightyGirl.....coop

[[Co...]]

Sas...It is so hard when improvement is slow this far out...such a mean benzo trick. Discouraging...I am just closing the books on month 17...it has been a tough one for me too. Beulah is right..." protracted" is just another word forv"I will never give up"...it's a scary word...but like our sx that are scary but only w/d...protracted is only a word.

.....I have had 6 weeks of acute.. but take courage from the success stories and from those on this thread who are in the second year like me, ...and getting better...Drew, Beulah, Peace LM...GMIT ( wrote her success story)...We are in a tough place right now but we are going to get to the end of this ...I wish things were easier for you Sas...it takes a lot to keep going when things are hard at months 17, 18....Wishing you some sunbreaks Sas....coop

 

 

 

[[be...]]

Drew

 

Wow..lots of celebrations today.

Thank you for the update ...it sounds encouraging .

 

Healing is in the air.

[[Gr...]]

Amazing! I made it! Today, April 30th makes 1 year off! No rescue dose, no benzos!

 

Am I feeling like a rockstar? Physically not so much but mentally and spiritually I’m so thankful to God and proud of myself! Healing from Lyme Disease and going through benzo hell w/d all while maintaining a job and raising my 3 (almost 4 year old) son alone is nothing short of a miracle!

 

I’m functional, I feel refreshed despite the constant onslaught of the rocky boat stuff/disequilibrium. I can’t help but to feel in my heart that I am healing and very soon either some or all of these symptoms will be a thing of the past.

 

Here is what I’m dealing with:

 

Praying the symptoms below fade away quickly!

 

Inner ear disturbance (which causes head pressure, rocky boat sensation & poor balance) the #1 worst symptom!

Weak legs (started feeling strong mid-month)! I have very brief moments.

Shortness of breath (also got better…I went 4 weeks without this symptom)

Heart palps (also better until I got seriously stressed last week…but also went 4 weeks without any)

Anxiety (very low to none, went about 2-3 weeks without any anxiety)

Floaters (oh these are annoying)

Twitches (my hands started twitching more this last month—the thumb and index finger mainly)

Facial sensations

 

This is all I’m dealing with. I hate them…but it has been worse.

 

The other weekend I took one of the longest walks along the riverfront here with my son. I used my cane for balance (but barely…only when I stopped and I felt rocky). My legs and feet had a feeling I have not had since Sept 2012. After that long walk I wanted to go out and buy a pair of running shoes for more support. I ran marathons before I got seriously ill with Lyme Disease…to have this feeling was amazing!

 

There are days I have no head pressure, no brain fog and the dizzy/off balance crap feels better…on certain days.

 

I had windows in April! Hadn’t had one in months!

 

I’m praying for everyone on here…I know in the next few months to maybe a year serious healing will take place…and I will be 100% healed!

 

There is no turning back!

 

I love each of you!

 

Happy 1 Year Off to my jumping buddy Drew and also to SoCaler who is right behind us!

 

Many blessings!

 

 

LM! Lady, am I ever happy for you!  You sound so good, so hopeful!  Yay.  And through all that, you never took  a rescue dose?  You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have!  And you made it!

[[Gr...]]

Sasq,

 

Congrats on 17 months!  So happy for you.  and that two week on, two week off pattern, not bad.  Hope that moves toward total wellness and healing soon. :smitten:

 

[[Gr...]]

Funny LM your sig says ! year and mine is at 12 months.  Wacky...

 

I am one year off too with my jumping a buddy LM and SoCal is there too.

 

I do feel much better on my good days and my bad aren't as bad as they were.  All of my symptoms unless in a mother of all waves are much less in intensity.  I am also able to hold it together mentally much better when getting hit with physical stuff.  That helps immensely.  I get maybe one panic a month after having several a day much earlier in my jump. I do get some one offs that art terrible but this IS benzoland.

 

Giving up gluten was a huge symptom improver for me as when I now eat some gluten my body reacts terribly.  I get major stomach pain, trots, and nerve pain.  In addition, I gave up gluten to cut the number of migraines(I was getting 4-6 per month).  I just had one in the mopnth of April so it is working.  I believe I had a long standing sensitivity to gluten which I didn't know about which caused lots of inflammation.  I remember drinking a beer and getting totally stuffed in the sinuses right away

 

I see a therapist for CBT and just to talk a bit.  I found that it is helping now but would have been useless during tapering or for the first 6-9 months post jump.  I went on these drugs for anxiety/panic disorder but my level is nil when not in a wave.  health anxiety can still creep up on me but I use CBT and avoid Dr Go ogle.

 

I still find my tolerance for stress is still not where I want it to be.  If I have too many meetings in a day my head starts buzzing and my ear ringing.  I can sit in a restaurant or a sporting event for about an hour after that the same things happen.  It is a big change from sheer panic and when I am not in a wave everything is tolerable and tolerable is fine with me as I continue out from my jump.  I believe   

 

I also am not thinking of withdrawal 24/7.  it is now a few times a day and I even forgot until now to post my one year dealio.  I used to count every day but not anymore.  I am also spending less time on the boards as it can drag me down into worrying about my healing.

I am optimistic that I will heal and just keep improving in areas I thought I would never feel good again.  I know I still have hard times in front of me but I also know without a doubt the worst is behind me.  I feel jinx typing that but I now know everything does lessen and clear up.  I am still a long way from saying I am healed(doing what I want when i want) but I am moving in the right direction.

 

Onward I go....   

 

Drewmantic, congratulations!  So happy to hear you have one year!  (12 months, lol)

 

We celebrate our milestones because it's a pat on the back for a job well done!  You managed to get through one year of misery that the words don't even exist to describe, to explain to someone who has not experienced it. ( I mangled that sentence but you get my drift)  Congratulations for surviving.

[[Gr...]]

LM and Sasq, as I said to Drew, congratulations for surviving one year, 17 months.  It is a major accomplishment