12-18 month support

[[Ha...]]

Green ice are u still having issues? I sure am... dizzy today, anxiety and ocd... it takes forever....

[[No...]]

Green ... too tired to sit up fatigue ... super hang over type feeling ...

 

Baylissa is good stuff ...

 

Good to hear you are coming out of this one ...

[[dr...]]

Well, buddies, that long awful wave, it feels like I'm just coming out of the aftermath.  the waves are so shocking to the whole system, mind and body, it takes time to adjust.  I think I'm coming out of it because I don't have the soul crushing exhaustion and lack of interest in living.  so that's good

 

As I said to Nova, I finished Baylissa's book, and the end was so, so hopeful.  however, however, she did get bad waves right until the end, her last one.  her last terrible, terrible wave was in Nov. 2007, and by the end of December she was ready to write a success story.  It's that fast.  She still had residual symptoms, but she knew it was over in Dec. '07.  And all of the residuals faded over time.

 

This kind of makes sense, HH, all of us. crazy bad waves so far out, and we all lose hope, become fearful, or just resigned to the fact we may be like this forever.  that's the feeling, that's the fear.  but it really does end.

 

It's cold here again. but not snowing.  I'm so sorry you're still getting snow Nova!  April 7.  It will be warm soon.  And hopefully we'll all get some breaks, that we so desperately need to get through this.  I'm so grateful to have all of you in my life. 

 

Green...like I mentioned earlier this book is my benzo bible.  It keeps my hope alive when I am down, teaches utter accetance of the process, and has a happy ending

[[Co...]]

Green...such very very good news...I am doing a happy dance all over my house for you. Yes, I cling to HH's story...sx all the way up to month 22 (20?)...and then a 10 day trip to NYC with a gaggle of teenagers.. I think about that every day

I really want to know if she has residual PTSD from all the trauma of w/d.

  .I love Baylissa's book too. I also loved The Benzo Book and the one about the rock climber ( his was very intense and he had several trips through w/d.

  ..Green, your post has given me a second wind for this.. We are so similar in our sx patterns ,I can't be too far behind. ...Enjoy your day Green...you are on your way dear friend. Thank you for all the compassion and hope you bring to this thread..  love to you....coop

[[Co...]]

HappyMe, .. We must be right on track. You and I jumped on the same day...I am having the same sx as you are....dizziness, anxiety at acute intensity, and d/r.  However, when I got up this morning I had no sx at all for about 2 hours and then it shifted on a dime...just like someone changed the channel. I am dealing with it a little better today. The visual weirdness that comes with the d/r makes me a little nuts. It makes me squint...things are not exactly out of focus, the just seem a little too far away or slightly 'off', like they are not quite in thier right place by just a little bit...

....Hold on Happy Me...we are going to get there too...you and me and Green and Sky are all within days of each other...coop

[[Co...]]

Nova, buddy....so sorry you have such fatigue today. Green had it for weeks. Rest as much as you need to and know that we are all supporting you. ..really hoping you get some sun .  coop

[[Co...]]

Green, Thank you so much for starting and manning this thread....It has got me to month 17 one day ( sometimes one hour) at a time. It is such a great feeling to have friends here with me from all the way back in month 6...for all those therapists,who told us to stay off the forums....it has been the forum that kept me from reinstating. The forum and you Green...if not for you I think I would have reinstated this far out.  coop

[[Ha...]]

I'm just glad to see I'm not alone this far out. I'm sad we are all here but I'm glad I'm not alone.

[[Co...]]

HappyMe.. you are not alone....coop

[[dr...]]

HappyMe, .. We must be right on track. You and I jumped on the same day...I am having the same sx as you are....dizziness, anxiety at acute intensity, and d/r.  However, when I got up this morning I had no sx at all for about 2 hours and then it shifted on a dime...just like someone changed the channel. I am dealing with it a little better today. The visual weirdness that comes with the d/r makes me a little nuts. It makes me squint...things are not exactly out of focus, the just seem a little too far away or slightly 'off', like they are not quite in thier right place by just a little bit...

....Hold on Happy Me...we are going to get there too...you and me and Green and Sky are all within days of each other...coop

 

Coop...I get the visual weirdness too!  Can't put my finger on it but I have trouble with my eyes...they seem to not be able to focus far, close, feel tired, it's always different each time.  I can't wear my presicription glasses for long but I can't see well without them   When I talk and have to concentrate it's worse.  Glad you got that too in a non bad comforting way.  My eyes are really bad today.  I had this on the drugs, tapering, and now post jump.

[[Sk...]]

HappyMe, .. We must be right on track. You and I jumped on the same day...I am having the same sx as you are....dizziness, anxiety at acute intensity, and d/r.  However, when I got up this morning I had no sx at all for about 2 hours and then it shifted on a dime...just like someone changed the channel. I am dealing with it a little better today. The visual weirdness that comes with the d/r makes me a little nuts. It makes me squint...things are not exactly out of focus, the just seem a little too far away or slightly 'off', like they are not quite in thier right place by just a little bit...

....Hold on Happy Me...we are going to get there too...you and me and Green and Sky are all within days of each other...coop

 

Coop...I get the visual weirdness too!  Can't put my finger on it but I have trouble with my eyes...they seem to not be able to focus far, close, feel tired, it's always different each time.  I can't wear my presicription glasses for long but I can't see well without them   When I talk and have to concentrate it's worse.  Glad you got that too in a non bad comforting way.  My eyes are really bad today.  I had this on the drugs, tapering, and now post jump.

 

Yes, me too. Of course it gets really bad in  a wave.

 

But it's better compared to tolerance. In tolerance, I did not have visual weirdness but my eyes were so sensitive and I could not handle my contacts for any amount of time and now, I wear them all day long !

 

So, one step forward on this one thing !

[[Sk...]]

Well, buddies, that long awful wave, it feels like I'm just coming out of the aftermath.  the waves are so shocking to the whole system, mind and body, it takes time to adjust.  I think I'm coming out of it because I don't have the soul crushing exhaustion and lack of interest in living.  so that's good

 

As I said to Nova, I finished Baylissa's book, and the end was so, so hopeful.  however, however, she did get bad waves right until the end, her last one.  her last terrible, terrible wave was in Nov. 2007, and by the end of December she was ready to write a success story.  It's that fast.  She still had residual symptoms, but she knew it was over in Dec. '07.  And all of the residuals faded over time.

 

This kind of makes sense, HH, all of us. crazy bad waves so far out, and we all lose hope, become fearful, or just resigned to the fact we may be like this forever.  that's the feeling, that's the fear.  but it really does end.

 

It's cold here again. but not snowing.  I'm so sorry you're still getting snow Nova!  April 7.  It will be warm soon.  And hopefully we'll all get some breaks, that we so desperately need to get through this.  I'm so grateful to have all of you in my life. 

 

Sue, sorry my be nzo brain can't figure this one out, which is her book ? The recovery road one, it can't be, it's out of print or something.

 

I am really outdone today. I am so tired of having sick thoughts in my head, intrusives and the rest of the gang. 

 

I can handle the rest of it, the  heart, the palps, everything. But I am really sick and tired of having bad thoughts, seeing decay and horror at every turn. We are at 17 months out, this is sick.

 

It takes more strength to get through the day, if all you see is horror and monstruosity.

 

I am really tired, this requires delusional trust in a better world. I believe in this better life and world that awaits me, but my eyes and head keep telling me otherwise. And sometimes ignoring all that, is overwhelming.

 

And I have had  enough  of memory flashes and rambling thoughts.

 

I have to go to bed now, hope my palps will calm down. Tomorrow, hopefully my day will be better, it should be my good day.

 

Hope  everybody feels better and sorry for the nutty rant.

[[Gr...]]

Green ice are u still having issues? I sure am... dizzy today, anxiety and ocd... it takes forever....

 

Yes, Happy M., absolutely, I am.  The second year is very, very hard.  In some ways I'm better than last year, and in some ways this year is harder.  The fatigue, dizziness, it's worse for me this year than it was last year.

 

It's normal, and we're all going to heal.  Hope you have some breaks

[[Gr...]]

Green ... too tired to sit up fatigue ... super hang over type feeling ...

 

Baylissa is good stuff ...

 

Good to hear you are coming out of this one ...

 

Well, not scrubbing the floor and singing show tunes, lol, but a lot better than I was.  Yes, the fatigue and hung over feeling is terrible, really discouraging this far out.  Hang in there buddy, there's a break in sight.

 

Have you heard anything about Joni Mitchell?  Last I heard she was hospitalized in Halifax. 

 

Feel the best you can.

[[Gr...]]

Green, Thank you so much for starting and manning this thread....It has got me to month 17 one day ( sometimes one hour) at a time. It is such a great feeling to have friends here with me from all the way back in month 6...for all those therapists,who told us to stay off the forums....it has been the forum that kept me from reinstating. The forum and you Green...if not for you I think I would have reinstated this far out.  coop

 

Coop, I feel the same way, about you, Nova, Sky, all of us here, all of our original group, and all the buddies we picked up along the way.  Would I have reinstated?  Maybe.  Definitely I would have been poly drugged on psych meds.  In a wave, I'm at major risk of getting misdiagnosed, because I get so many mental symptoms -- that would have been a lifetime chemical psych. commitment.  which is so horrible to think about.  tragic what happens to people.

 

Baylissa's book really gave me the boost I needed to continue.  I read it through last night.

 

Yes, "this far out,"  when we have symptoms, waves, we are at risk and very much need the support we get here, and from each other.  Everybody starts to doubt, is this withdrawal?  is it just me?  underlying problems?  permanent damage? 

 

And the answer is, it's withdrawal, we're healing, and we just need to take the best care of ourselves we can until that happens.

 

 

[[No...]]

Newswire says Joni Mitchell hospitalized in Los Angeles ...

[[Gr...]]

Well, buddies, that long awful wave, it feels like I'm just coming out of the aftermath.  the waves are so shocking to the whole system, mind and body, it takes time to adjust.  I think I'm coming out of it because I don't have the soul crushing exhaustion and lack of interest in living.  so that's good

 

As I said to Nova, I finished Baylissa's book, and the end was so, so hopeful.  however, however, she did get bad waves right until the end, her last one.  her last terrible, terrible wave was in Nov. 2007, and by the end of December she was ready to write a success story.  It's that fast.  She still had residual symptoms, but she knew it was over in Dec. '07.  And all of the residuals faded over time.

 

This kind of makes sense, HH, all of us. crazy bad waves so far out, and we all lose hope, become fearful, or just resigned to the fact we may be like this forever.  that's the feeling, that's the fear.  but it really does end.

 

It's cold here again. but not snowing.  I'm so sorry you're still getting snow Nova!  April 7.  It will be warm soon.  And hopefully we'll all get some breaks, that we so desperately need to get through this.  I'm so grateful to have all of you in my life. 

 

Sue, sorry my be nzo brain can't figure this one out, which is her book ? The recovery road one, it can't be, it's out of print or something.

 

I am really outdone today. I am so tired of having sick thoughts in my head, intrusives and the rest of the gang. 

 

I can handle the rest of it, the  heart, the palps, everything. But I am really sick and tired of having bad thoughts, seeing decay and horror at every turn. We are at 17 months out, this is sick.

 

It takes more strength to get through the day, if all you see is horror and monstruosity.

 

I am really tired, this requires delusional trust in a better world. I believe in this better life and world that awaits me, but my eyes and head keep telling me otherwise. And sometimes ignoring all that, is overwhelming.

 

And I have had  enough  of memory flashes and rambling thoughts.

 

I have to go to bed now, hope my palps will calm down. Tomorrow, hopefully my day will be better, it should be my good day.

 

Hope  everybody feels better and sorry for the nutty rant.

 

Sky, not nutty at all.  I was there last week.  It's wave talk, wave thinking.  The mental symptoms are brutal, this far out, awful..  I think the name of the book is Renewal and Recovery, or Recovery and Renewal.  the original is out of print, I think there's another edition.  and it's on kindle.

 

Feel better.

[[Gr...]]

Well, buddies, that long awful wave, it feels like I'm just coming out of the aftermath.  the waves are so shocking to the whole system, mind and body, it takes time to adjust.  I think I'm coming out of it because I don't have the soul crushing exhaustion and lack of interest in living.  so that's good

 

As I said to Nova, I finished Baylissa's book, and the end was so, so hopeful.  however, however, she did get bad waves right until the end, her last one.  her last terrible, terrible wave was in Nov. 2007, and by the end of December she was ready to write a success story.  It's that fast.  She still had residual symptoms, but she knew it was over in Dec. '07.  And all of the residuals faded over time.

 

This kind of makes sense, HH, all of us. crazy bad waves so far out, and we all lose hope, become fearful, or just resigned to the fact we may be like this forever.  that's the feeling, that's the fear.  but it really does end.

 

It's cold here again. but not snowing.  I'm so sorry you're still getting snow Nova!  April 7.  It will be warm soon.  And hopefully we'll all get some breaks, that we so desperately need to get through this.  I'm so grateful to have all of you in my life. 

 

Green...like I mentioned earlier this book is my benzo bible.  It keeps my hope alive when I am down, teaches utter accetance of the process, and has a happy ending

 

I hear you, Drew.  It got my head screwed back on straight -- mostly straight, lol.  Glad to hear you're feeling better.  This is a long ride.  We need to get comfortable.

[[Gr...]]

Newswire says Joni Mitchell hospitalized in Los Angeles ...

 

Is she at least from Halifax?

[[No...]]

Born in Fort Macleod, Alberta ...

[[No...]]

Twenty Questions is always a good distraction ...

[[Mi...]]

Korbe has been in Seattle since Sunday I believe.  I checked yesterday and today hoping for an update as to how that treatment is going.  Extremely curious to say the least.  Not thinking about doing it myself, just curious.

 

 

[[Co...]]

HappyMe and Racksha.  .how are you guys doing tonight? ...Just hold tight....come here and the other threads for support as often as you need to....there's no such thing as being on too much. We all forget all the reassurances the minute we get hit with a wave.. O have lived on the thread night and day  during waves from month 6.. 

...  I hope you both got some breaks today....coop

[[Co...]]

Sky...I know you won't see this until morning, but I just wanted to say I am sorry that you are getting hit with the ugly benzo voices. They ruin any relief that we might get from other sx. They have been my torture all along too.

    I hope tomorrow is predictably your no vibration better day.

.Rest well Sky..  coop

[[Co...]]

Nova...how are you doing tonight? .. Did your fatigue get any better?.  Surely your weather is due for sun tomorrow. 

....get some rest and carry on friend....coop