Knackered’s Techno Goes Viral with Benzos

   Hey there, @[kn...] here.  It was a dark and stormy night.  The only light emanating into the room was from soft moonlight coming from a galactic orb in the sky.  Inside, Knackered crept carefully to the table and made for the chair.  An air of mystery was like a presence lurking about.  Carefully the laptop cover squeaked open.  He sat back, considering his options and without hesitation moved to quickly boot up.  A gasp can be heard as realization pierces his consciousness.  A silent scream was muffled as he considered what to do.  All that appeared was blackness.  It was dead and nothing would bring it back. Acting quickly, the pulse was checked and a diagnosis made. Battery dead; flickering screens. It was gone.

  Technology, who can live with the stuff!?  It is definitely not my friend. Fortunately we have more than one computer in the house and my old laptop was a left over from my second career.  The one that is shared has more bells and whistles and is at least a decade newer.  For now, it’s my recourse to this cruel and hopeless event.

   Suffice it to say that I was brought kicking and screaming into the computer age.  I grew up with phones attached to the wall and I am brave enough to say that I can remember calling my beloved from the college pay phone bank with a pocket full of quarters.  I spoke to some mystic voice called the ‘operator’. Often I had to stand in line to secure privilege to this special occasion.   

   Nowadays, my phone remains a mystery to me.  I’ve learned to call people and send texts on it.  Sometimes, even emails in a pinch.  Just about the time I thought I had it figured out, it became obsolete.  Out went the ‘flip’ and I was compelled to update to the  ‘smart’.  With my wife’s help, I relearned the basics, but the thing has a mind of its own. The device sends me messages from somewhere and updates itself in the middle of the night.  I wonder how??

   The phone isn’t the only thing that a person has to master just to stay alive in the digital age. The bills are generally paid online as well.  Then there’s the whole grocery shopping thing. Rather than just cutting out the coupons and hauling them downtown, everything must now be uploaded to the device. Some specials even require you to take pictures of the price cards (digital coupons) in order for them to ‘ring up’. Once you arrive at checkout, you now encounter self check out.  Don’t real people even exist any more?

   Usually it’s the phone that’s my worst nemesis, but all of our households have numerous devices,  If I ever figure out how to set the clocks, (blast that daylight savings stuff!) I’ll try to sort the TV remote.  Fortunately, someone else in the household is savvy enough to allow me to escape all of that.

  Even the simplest things have gone nuts. I thought I had it made when I was able to find my way around in a few parking garages downtown.  Now there’s the whole exiting problem I’m facing.  Rather than just handing your cash over to the person at the pay booth,  you’re required to face the computerized pay machine and boot up your wallet.  This even happened to me at the bank last week.  The drive up teller had been replaced with a TV set.  OK, video screen, for heavens’ sake.  I guess I’m going to have to techno on while I taper.  I’ve learned to find the BB site and can reply to most posts without completely screwing up everything for the next person on the thread.  But, alas I still often yearn for days of old.  Anybody out there ever use a party line on wall phone with a rotary dial? Of course not.