XANAX Support Blog: If you're tapering Xanax/alprazolam, join in the discussion!

[[Ch...]]

Hi Liberty…glad to have you on the Xanax thread. 

 

It sounds like Xanax relieves your anxiety which allows you to be creative and relaxed.  There are other ways to achieve that relaxation aside from medications… CBT and other methods. 

 

I also felt good on Xanax but tolerance hit, interdose withdrawal hit and I didn't want to continue to be dependent on a prescription.  I read your other posts and it seems you're concerned about dependence. 

 

Have you tried any other stress/anxiety reducing methods? 

 

Challis 

[[Be...]]

Hi Libery, I guess like they say, its different for everyone...

 

I have a friend thats a addict to hydrocodone... she says they do the same for her, give her energy and creativity and such... she said its a sign that you have a addiction to that particular drug... when a "downer" gets you "up", or works the opposite of what its supposed to......

 

kinda like the Ridlin speed making kids calm I guess... go figure...

[[la...]]

Sooo...Hiiii. Hello there. I feel like I'm very much interrupting a private conversation...hope it's okay I post a question?  I'm new soo...yea. Clueless.

 

So I've been all over this board, reading stories, etc.  One thing I hear a lot of people say about Xanax is that, once they got past any withdrawals and were clean, they started feeling "alive" again, creative, energetic, yippy yay, etc. It completely makes sense to me since Xanax relaxes you, mellows you out so once you are off it, you are out of the fog.

 

Except that's not my experience with Xanax at all.

 

When I take a xanax, that's exactly how I feel now. Creative, energetic, funny even (I'm not, ever). I have that "dont give a fuck" vibe but I also get a gigantic, huge boost in my confidence.  I like me on Xanax, I hate me off Xanax.

 

So here's my question is....that psychological dependence? 

When I first took Xanax, I felt nothing until it kicked in and then I was mellow. End of story.

Now it's a whole, entirely different ballgame. I take it and I INSTANTLY feel happy, free, confident, creative.  Creative is a big one for me....I write (sorta) for a living and it definitely, without doubt, makes me more creative.

 

I'm afraid when I am off it, I will go back to being my natural state which is depressed and foggy as hell. Basically how people describe being on xanax. Ironic, isn't it?

 

So my experience is the opposite of a lot of other users.  And I'm not getting why.

 

Thanks for reading this and, again, if this isn't the right thread, kindly carry on. Your conversation is totally interesting to me too. I just spent an hour reading it.

 

How long have you been taking Xanax if you don't mind me asking?

 

Have you tried any other things that have better efficacy, such as SSRI's?  Xanax (before tolerance hits) reduces the perception of stress.  For someone that has anxiety, that can relax their mind and allow them to be more comfortable, and clear headed as their anxiety isn't bothering them.  SSRI's take longer to work, but can do the same thing.  If someone is anxious, and depressed they can be in a mental fog.  An SSRI can help that, without the need to worry about tollerance.

[[Li...]]

Hi Liberty…glad to have you on the Xanax thread. 

Great, so I am cool to post in here. Thanks Challis!

 

It sounds like Xanax relieves your anxiety which allows you to be creative and relaxed.  There are other ways to achieve that relaxation aside from medications… CBT and other methods.  Have you tried any other stress/anxiety reducing methods? 

 

That makes sense. I've actually thought about too.  I do find it weird/suspect that I INSTANTLY feel better when I take my Xanax. I think I got some sort of head game going on here.

 

I have tried mediation but not long enough. I'm going to start exploring all that...even yoga (which is too trendy for my taste), meditation, exercise. I need to commit to all that.

 

I also felt good on Xanax but tolerance hit, interdose withdrawal hit and I didn't want to continue to be dependent on a prescription.  I read your other posts and it seems you're concerned about dependence. 

 

Interdose withdrawal....what...is that? Sounds spooky.

 

 

[[la...]]

Looking for some support here...

 

I had a ton of anxiety yesterday all day, and had a hard time sleeping.  Woke up early, and all I could think about was never feeling good again the second I woke up.  My dad called today, and I literally broke down the second I started talking.  Crying, and depressed.  I don't know what the hell is going on.  I've only reduced .0625mg so far.  1/16th of the way there.  No idea how I'm going to do this...

[[Li...]]

Hi Libery, I guess like they say, its different for everyone...

 

Thanks much for letting me in here! I'll try to be good.

 

I have a friend thats a addict to hydrocodone... she says they do the same for her, give her energy and creativity and such... she said its a sign that you have a addiction to that particular drug... when a "downer" gets you "up", or works the opposite of what its supposed to......

 

kinda like the Ridlin speed making kids calm I guess... go figure...

 

And that definitely makes sense too.  I'm trying to remind myself of that right now as I am looking into tapering. Everyone is different. Maybe mine won't be grand mall seizures every day which is what I am imagining.

 

One thing that scares me (can you tell I'm a bit scared!) is you read about someone who is taking far less than you for far less time and going through nightmare withdrawals. That's not exactly encouraging to taper. 

[[Li...]]

How long have you been taking Xanax if you don't mind me asking?

 

Have you tried any other things that have better efficacy, such as SSRI's?  Xanax (before tolerance hits) reduces the perception of stress.  For someone that has anxiety, that can relax their mind and allow them to be more comfortable, and clear headed as their anxiety isn't bothering them.  SSRI's take longer to work, but can do the same thing.  If someone is anxious, and depressed they can be in a mental fog.  An SSRI can help that, without the need to worry about tollerance.

 

No, I don't mind at all. I can't trace it back, my memory is shot (xanax or not) but roughly a year and a half.  It's just weird. The very first xanax script I got was in 1999. I took one and that was that.  Never touched them for over a decade where they sat in my drawer before I tossed them.  Then, about over a year ago, someone recommended them for flying. Worked beautifully. Suddenly I could fly through a hurricane, wouldn't have gave a toss.

 

So I went from .5 to 1mg. Looks like I'm at a similar stage where you are at, if I read your taper schedule correctly. I try to tell myself 1 mg isn't a lot alot and it's not daily so....but I guess it is. I definitely crave it like mad and want to increase my dosage. I just don't let myself go there.

 

And...the SSRI. This is embarrassing but my doctor thinks I'm taking a SSRI. I don't even remember which one...she won't subscribe xanax without it. I've just never had any luck on them so..yea.  I feel really ashamed right now. It's just stupid.  I appreciate your advice and am definitely considering it.  I have found, lifestyle changes like exercise, eating well, mediation, reaching out for support...it just resonates better for me.

 

But, seriously, am re-thinking anti-depressants.  Thank you for the suggestion.

[[VC...]]

Hello there and welcome, LibertyMcFreedom. I'm fairly new myself (2 wks I think).

 

Yep, your Xanax experience seems truly ironic to me, anyway. I never took it as originally prescribed (0.5 mg 3 x daily) ...much less dose, less frequently - sometimes skipping altogether....which is probably what wrecked my system. Just waiting to get to a place  soon where I can begin tapering. I never did have a love affair with xanax. It served a purpose at one time but even when I asked my doctor to help me off the stuff - he said "just stop taking it when you're ready." I had probably been going through mini withdrawals for years. Anyway, you'll find good help here, Liberty! A slow taper is the way to go - don't spend too much time reading the worst-case-scenarios.

 

VC

[[ba...]]

Hi Liberty,

 

Since you are still deciding on how to taper, make sure you talk to mrsalw about a liquid titration.  She has gone very slow and is quite comfortable in her taper.  She works full-time, has a second part-time job, travels, exercises and spends lots of time here counseling others. 

 

People like Juliea, bluebell, Lisa, Benzy and many others have actually had an easier time as they progressed through their taper.  They all dry cut and most are back living normal lives.  I will get there too, it's just taking me longer. 

 

[[la...]]

Looking for some support here...

 

I had a ton of anxiety yesterday all day, and had a hard time sleeping.  Woke up early, and all I could think about was never feeling good again the second I woke up.  My dad called today, and I literally broke down the second I started talking.  Crying, and depressed.  I don't know what the hell is going on.  I've only reduced .0625mg so far.  1/16th of the way there.  No idea how I'm going to do this...

Anybody with any advice on the depression here?

 

[[ho...]]

Looking for some support here...

 

I had a ton of anxiety yesterday all day, and had a hard time sleeping.  Woke up early, and all I could think about was never feeling good again the second I woke up.  My dad called today, and I literally broke down the second I started talking.  Crying, and depressed.  I don't know what the hell is going on.  I've only reduced .0625mg so far.  1/16th of the way there.  No idea how I'm going to do this...

Anybody with any advice on the depression here?

 

Hi Lacey,

 

I never experienced depression before my taper and then during my taper it hit me and hit me hard. I never knew it could be so bad! It hit when I was making smaller cuts than you. I coped 2 ways...first, I just told myself a million times, that it was drug induced and I just had to wait it out and I distracted myself every way that I could. Second, I take Inositol. It is a powder that I add to my water and drink all day. It is a B vitamin and has been shown to be wildly successful for anxiety and depression. I have had great success with it. I am stepping out for a meeting now but if you are interested I can provide more info on taking it. Hang in there. It will pass!

 

Hopefulgirl

[[ba...]]

Looking for some support here...

 

I had a ton of anxiety yesterday all day, and had a hard time sleeping.  Woke up early, and all I could think about was never feeling good again the second I woke up.  My dad called today, and I literally broke down the second I started talking.  Crying, and depressed.  I don't know what the hell is going on.  I've only reduced .0625mg so far.  1/16th of the way there.  No idea how I'm going to do this...

Anybody with any advice on the depression here?

 

Fearing you will never get well is one of the hardest things to go through in withdrawal.  Riverwolf calls these intrusive thoughts "benzo lies".    He is right on the money.  What helped me was self-affirmation.  I constantly had to remind myself I was in the process of healing, and all of it was temporary.  Also distraction helped me get over the worst of times.  I have been glued to my iPad for months.  (still am).  I play cards, solve jigsaw puzzles, and play stupid hidden object games.  ANYTHING to stop my thinking. 

 

[[VC...]]

Looking for some support here...

 

I had a ton of anxiety yesterday all day, and had a hard time sleeping.  Woke up early, and all I could think about was never feeling good again the second I woke up.  My dad called today, and I literally broke down the second I started talking.  Crying, and depressed.  I don't know what the hell is going on.  I've only reduced .0625mg so far.  1/16th of the way there.  No idea how I'm going to do this...

 

Hi Lacey! Gosh, sorry that yesterday felt like crap. I wake up fighting negative thoughts every morning...and lately feeling depressed myself. Our brains are adapting. There are peaks and valleys. (Guess that's not much comfort but I do care and understand). The others will soon chime in with any help (you know I'm a newbie) but this will pass. You CAN do this. Just don't cut anymore until you get through this wave. Something that helps me is listening to some quiet meditative audios. I also looked into EFT (tapping)...and even though it felt stupid at first, it really helps distract the mind from the body's nagging symptoms. I think Benzy mentioned the 'body scan' meditations...I'm not into anything too NewAgey, just general relaxation techniques. I'm sorry you've hit a snag and hope you feel better soon. It's gonna be okay.

 

Let us know how you're doing...does your dad know what you're going through? I haven't told my family any specifics. I assume you're supplementing with a good bio-available magnesium? It helps me anyway.

 

VC 

 

 

[[Be...]]

so Libery, are you saying you "didnt' take the anti-depressant?

 

Lacey, did you have a pre-existing condition with depression?

I did.... but I could tell the depression from the benzo withdrawal was different... I dont know how to explain it... it was like "not personal"?.....

pre-existing depression was personal, I could relate it to things, and I sat around thinking about stuff I was depressed about, crying and whining about this and that, why Im depressed. etc...

 

with the benzo induced depression, it wasnt really related to anything, I was just very depressed, no real reason why..somehow, that made it easy for me to recognize it as withdrawal induced depression, and knowing it would lift sooner or later made it easier to deal with (I think)...

[[Be...]]

ps. what to do about withdrawal depression? try to think of something you look forward to doing once youre through this... something new maybe, and spend time researching it and such, to be sure youre ready to do it when you get well... that helped me a lot.. plus just knowing the depression is withdrawal induced and that it would go away.. it did....now Im just my usual same old clinically depressed person!!

[[la...]]

 

Hi Lacey,

 

I never experienced depression before my taper and then during my taper it hit me and hit me hard. I never knew it could be so bad! It hit when I was making smaller cuts than you. I coped 2 ways...first, I just told myself a million times, that it was drug induced and I just had to wait it out and I distracted myself every way that I could. Second, I take Inositol. It is a powder that I add to my water and drink all day. It is a B vitamin and has been shown to be wildly successful for anxiety and depression. I have had great success with it. I am stepping out for a meeting now but if you are interested I can provide more info on taking it. Hang in there. It will pass!

 

Hopefulgirl

 

Thank you very much.  It's good to just know that someone else has experienced this.  I have vitamin B that I take (among other things), but since I've been feeling so down lately I've kind of stopped taking my vitamins. 

[[la...]]

 

 

Fearing you will never get well is one of the hardest things to go through in withdrawal.  Riverwolf calls these intrusive thoughts "benzo lies".    He is right on the money.  What helped me was self-affirmation.  I constantly had to remind myself I was in the process of healing, and all of it was temporary.  Also distraction helped me get over the worst of times.  I have been glued to my iPad for months.  (still am).  I play cards, solve jigsaw puzzles, and play stupid hidden object games.  ANYTHING to stop my thinking. 

 

Yeah, I've been doing the same thing to distract me.  I guess I'm just scared that it's not temporary. That the problem is something other than Xanax withdrawal. 

[[Be...]]

its all temporary Lacey, dont worry about it, if it wasnt there before benzos, it will subside..

if you had pre-existing problems, they will still be there of course when you get off the drug, but even then, the added problems of benzos will subside as well....

[[ma...]]

So I have a question. I had been taking 0.5 mg xanax every am and then 0.25 mg around 5.5 hours later,i have done this for the past 2 weeks. I feel fine NO nervousness at all,compared to 2 weeks when i was taking the 0.75 in 1/2's 3 times a day i was a wreck. So anyway my Dr wants me to start taking Celexa 10 mg for a week at bedtime and then go up to 20 mg. She is still saying that the xanax is not the cause of me being nervous IDK,she is also still saying that I can just go from taking it how I am now to taking it PRN with no problem. I know people have told me on here not to just stop taking it and I will not do that. My question is should I start taking the Celexa like she is asking me to? Will it help nervousness or is it just for depression I AM NOT DEPRESSED at all. I did take a 20 mg celexa about a month ago at night after taking xanax 0.5 mg right before and got a hot feeling come over me and I was sick for a week,the Dr and pharmacist say it had nothing to do with these 2 meds. I would just like some more insight on all this and what anyone may have experienced since I am not on a high dose of Xanax and I am feeling fine with the dose I am taking BUT I do want to get off the xanax before it causes me more problems. Thanks so much for any info you all may have or to point me in the right direction would be great.

[[la...]]

 

Lacey, did you have a pre-existing condition with depression?

I did.... but I could tell the depression from the benzo withdrawal was different... I dont know how to explain it... it was like "not personal"?.....

pre-existing depression was personal, I could relate it to things, and I sat around thinking about stuff I was depressed about, crying and whining about this and that, why Im depressed. etc...

 

with the benzo induced depression, it wasnt really related to anything, I was just very depressed, no real reason why..somehow, that made it easy for me to recognize it as withdrawal induced depression, and knowing it would lift sooner or later made it easier to deal with (I think)...

 

I had anxiety, and depression for years, and finally took 5mg of lexapro, which cleared it up.  My Dr. also added the xanax at a couple months later to help deal with some of the lingering symptoms I had from living so long with high anxiety levels (trouble falling a sleep).

 

All was going well, and feeling better and better over the next 6 months.  Was capable of working full time, and 40% course load at university.  Hadn't really had time to even attend many social gatherings, which was ok since my doc didn't want me to drink often.  I finally had a weekend off after not having a day off for 2 months (between work & school), and went to a party.  Had maybe 3 beers, and a bit of cocaine (hadn't done it in years, and only ever like once a year in the past).  The next day I felt some anxiety (which I hadn't felt for 8 months).  It got worse, and worse over the next 2 weeks till I could hardly talk to people.  It would be ok when I took my xanax dose at night, but by the time I woke up had intense anxiety that got worse throughout the day.  Stopped wanting to hang out with people, etc... even though I was very social before this.

 

So, I guess that's part of the problem.  I'm scared that Xanax withdrawal isn't the problem.

 

 

[[Be...]]

Marley, sounds like you already know the answer to all your questions 

you need a new Dr!

 

Lacey, getting the xanax out of the mix will only help... if you yourself feel its a problem for you...regardless of what you have left to deal with after youre off of it..

[[la...]]

Thanks Benzy.

[[Be...]]

just what ya wanted to hear, right.. somtimes theres just not a feel-good answer

just "proceed".... something good will start happening sooner or later

[[Ch...]]

So I have a question. I had been taking 0.5 mg xanax every am and then 0.25 mg around 5.5 hours later,i have done this for the past 2 weeks. I feel fine NO nervousness at all,compared to 2 weeks when i was taking the 0.75 in 1/2's 3 times a day i was a wreck. So anyway my Dr wants me to start taking Celexa 10 mg for a week at bedtime and then go up to 20 mg. She is still saying that the xanax is not the cause of me being nervous IDK,she is also still saying that I can just go from taking it how I am now to taking it PRN with no problem. I know people have told me on here not to just stop taking it and I will not do that. My question is should I start taking the Celexa like she is asking me to? Will it help nervousness or is it just for depression I AM NOT DEPRESSED at all. I did take a 20 mg celexa about a month ago at night after taking xanax 0.5 mg right before and got a hot feeling come over me and I was sick for a week,the Dr and pharmacist say it had nothing to do with these 2 meds. I would just like some more insight on all this and what anyone may have experienced since I am not on a high dose of Xanax and I am feeling fine with the dose I am taking BUT I do want to get off the xanax before it causes me more problems. Thanks so much for any info you all may have or to point me in the right direction would be great.

 

marley,

 

No offense to the medical profession, but most of them don't really understand the anxiety issues benzos can cause.  I kept taking Xanax because I was anxious if I didn't.  When I examined the reasons I might have for being anxious, there were none.  I began researching Xanax side effects and lo and behold there it was. 

 

If I were you I would avoid the Celexa like the plague.  I see nothing in your post that indicates a reason for taking it.  I took it for three days during my Xanax use and thought I was going to go nuts…had to stop after that.  The start up can be brutal and then there's the eventual withdrawal… 

 

Challis

[[la...]]

just what ya wanted to hear, right.. somtimes theres just not a feel-good answer

just "proceed".... something good will start happening sooner or later

 

Yeah, I guess so.  It's just weird that I'd get this kind of response from a 6.25% reduction like 7-8 days later.  I feel like what I imagine a rapid-cycling bi-polar person would feel like.  High anxiety for a few hours, then calm for a bit, then depressed, with palpitations randomly revving up periodically.  Doesn't seem to be a lot of rhyme or reason to when the symptoms occur.