XANAX Support Blog: If you're tapering Xanax/alprazolam, join in the discussion!

[[Tr...]]

I know FB... to look into someone's eyes who really understands this would be healing in itself.

Glad we can share here.

Love,

Carita

Unfortunately all I ever get from my friend is a deer in the headlights stare. 

I'm delighted he had such an easy time, I really am, but he can't begin to understand the pain many of us go through. Initially I was excited to learn someone so close to me had gone through this and then crushed our experiences were as different as night and day. After several months of reading many posts and stories here, I'm of the opinion that in general, men have an easier time from start to finish on the benzo trip. My small dose kicked my butt hard during my taper and some cuts were brutal, but I felt so much better as soon as I made the jump. I have no explanation.

 

The "junkie" I spoke to was a stunningly beautiful, immaculately groomed, and very well spoken girl. You'd never guess she'd had such a dark past just a few months ago. I only got maybe two minutes of her time, but I was inspired at all she'd obviously been through and yet made it out alive. I'm sure there's a lot of pain just below the surface but she had a big smile and seemed happy just to be alive. I've always felt attitude plays a huge role in many areas of life and this was my experience during my taper and jump.

*A person's only as happy as they make up their mind to be. 

 

The muscle pain in my ankles and legs occasionally comes and goes but is so diminished it's hardly worth mentioning. It settled in my right knee early on during my taper and at some point it occurred to me that I'd had an extremely severe right knee injury as a teenager. Clearly this isn't the same type of pain, but it made me wonder if there is a corelation between the muscle pain many of us seem to feel and a previous injury. 

 

And for those lurkers following this forum...

 

I never reduced my caffeine intake at any time during my taper and jump. No issues! I know others have stated the exact opposite, but we're all different. I need my caffeine via coffee, ice tea, and soda pop.

 

I'm not a big drinker and I only had one mixed drink early on in my taper. Some people drink alcohol without issue, some don't. It's not a big part of my life so the impact is negligible. I don't want to take a chance just yet.     

[[Bl...]]

Hi, just checking in because I've been quiet for a while....mother in law passed away, then Christmas, New Year's, wedding anniversary, blah blah blah.  In other words: life has been going on.  I feel crap crap crappy physically and somewhat depressed emotionally, but not forlorn & not hopeless by any means.  I just haven't wanted to post anything, and got by on a few PM communications & my spiritual readings every day.

 

I'm freaking tired.  The thoughts I've been thinking have been sad, I think because of my mother-in-law's passing kicking up feelings about not only losing her but having lost both my parents when I was young, and my dear sister, and I feel really down.  I keep thinking I'm pretty much at the end of the line too and what will I leave behind?  My motivation for cleaning and organizing is so that I don't leave a mess behind for everyone.

 

But, that COULD be withdrawal symptoms talking...not sure.  I just know I feel really sad and unmotivated right now, although I've felt pretty unmotivated for a long time now.

 

OK, that's it for Debbie Downer today.  Happy New Year folks!

I am sorry you are suffering and for your loss. It is okay to talk about such things. Do not worry about being a Debbie Downer.

 

Blue

[[mr...]]

Hi, just checking in because I've been quiet for a while....mother in law passed away, then Christmas, New Year's, wedding anniversary, blah blah blah.  In other words: life has been going on.  I feel crap crap crappy physically and somewhat depressed emotionally, but not forlorn & not hopeless by any means.  I just haven't wanted to post anything, and got by on a few PM communications & my spiritual readings every day.

 

I'm freaking tired.  The thoughts I've been thinking have been sad, I think because of my mother-in-law's passing kicking up feelings about not only losing her but having lost both my parents when I was young, and my dear sister, and I feel really down.  I keep thinking I'm pretty much at the end of the line too and what will I leave behind?  My motivation for cleaning and organizing is so that I don't leave a mess behind for everyone.

 

But, that COULD be withdrawal symptoms talking...not sure.  I just know I feel really sad and unmotivated right now, although I've felt pretty unmotivated for a long time now.

 

OK, that's it for Debbie Downer today.  Happy New Year folks!

 

Mama,

 

I had some pretty deep/dark depression during my taper that faded in very gradually, and has faded out just as gradually Don't be alarmed by it; it will take even your most subtle slightly off-happy thought and make it feel tearful and sorrowed. Kinda like how it can take your most subtle off-calm thought and turn it into a panicked event. Bizarre! But many deal with it in withdrawal

 

I found that eating sugar or high-carb/high-calorie meals would set me up for a depression wave anywhere from 6-18 hours later -- they were (are) major triggers for me, so you might want to be mindful of it for yourself, too, and see if you notice a difference

 

Hope things pick up for you soon, dear! You're healing, everyday!!

[[Tr...]]

MrsALW when you look at my meager benzo use, one would think "piece of cake." It's a miracle I didn't drastically increase my dosage after ten plus years. Well, I'd actually begun increasing it slightly a couple of months prior to finding the courage and discovering BB. Even at this .5 to .75mg dose once per day only in the evening, I know beyond all doubt what Xanax withdrawal symptoms are all about. I experienced most of them first hand and if I can do this, anyone can!

 

My first cut was 50% and I felt every single percentage point of that cut. It was huge a mistake and I paid for it. Looking back I'm almost glad I took that cut... Almost. I was in a hurry and wanted off, but without some pain, I may not fully appreciate the price I paid to buy what I have today. It's precious and means a lot knowing that I earned this. It wasn't easy but victory is mine and no one gave it to me.

 

Hang in there my friends! It's sweet. 

[[Iw...]]

Hi, just checking in because I've been quiet for a while....mother in law passed away, then Christmas, New Year's, wedding anniversary, blah blah blah.  In other words: life has been going on.  I feel crap crap crappy physically and somewhat depressed emotionally, but not forlorn & not hopeless by any means.  I just haven't wanted to post anything, and got by on a few PM communications & my spiritual readings every day.

 

I'm freaking tired.  The thoughts I've been thinking have been sad, I think because of my mother-in-law's passing kicking up feelings about not only losing her but having lost both my parents when I was young, and my dear sister, and I feel really down.  I keep thinking I'm pretty much at the end of the line too and what will I leave behind?  My motivation for cleaning and organizing is so that I don't leave a mess behind for everyone.

 

But, that COULD be withdrawal symptoms talking...not sure.  I just know I feel really sad and unmotivated right now, although I've felt pretty unmotivated for a long time now.

 

OK, that's it for

Debbie Downer today.  Happy New Year folks!

 

I'm sorry that you are having a hard time and for all your losses. It's understandable that you would feel such things. The wd can make you feel and think those things too and you reminded me of this..ive been experiencing the same things.

 

Mrs. You brought up such truths and its so helpful to read those and be reassured.

It is so bizarre how this stuff effects us. We get hijacked sometimes and are not even aware most of the time that its not us 

 

[[Iw...]]

Rebel. I just ran across your post. This thread grows fast! I'm sorry you are suffering so badly and I do hope someone knowledgeable and helpful has pm'd you and has helped you. If I thought I could help I would definitely pm you but you can pm me if you want to talk even to vent anytime.

Hopefully you are doing better now. 

[[No...]]

 

  Happy New Year, TrueSouth!

 

      Good to see you posting along with sharing your experience with others whom have had a Benzo issue/wd.

 

      My best friend also was lucky in the sense she only took Ativan for a short length of time. I immediately shared

      the "dangers" of Benzo's and c/t, but she managed to beat the Beast with about 1 month of miserable sx.

 

      I don't go around sharing my information with anyone else, as I find its really no ones business. And truthfully,

      whom would understand something so horrendous in its insidiousness. I find BB adequate for support.

 

      I have had joint pain, especially in my right shoulder, during my taper called an impingement. It went away after

      I stopped the Xanax. During my taper I  exercised the joint everyday. It really hurt. Now I just have residual pain

      in my joints, headaches that are not related to benzo withdrawal as I had them before.

 

        I wake to a new day, not thinking "what is going to happen", to one of gratefulness, peace and happiness that

        I am off Xanax.

   

        I  did not give up coffee, nor change my diet. I kept things pretty normal, well, as much as possible.

 

      I don't believe that changing what I was doing before was going to affect my tapering. I take magnesium, Vit C

      Omega 3, Vit D, and a B vitamin(s). The Magnesium and Vit C I added during tapering, which helped.

 

        We are all unique in our physiology.  Keep on the right path for you. Make peace with the process.

        You just might find the burden not so heavy at times.

 

        Be Strong and of Good Courage.

 

          Notforme

[[ma...]]

Just realizing I've spent the last 20 years under the influence of drugs, alcohol, and prescription meds. It's a sobering, for lack of a better term, thought.  I just honestly never looked back on my life and thought about it in those terms.  I think there were a few completely sober months, during my pregnancy for sure, but on a whole... I was just self-medicating.  Now I am off alcohol for 6 months, haven't used illicit drugs in many years, and trying to get off benzos. Probably the hardest yet.

 

Anyway, I have a few questions:

 

- Has anyone here tried a crossover to Valium? Why/why not? I have some liquid Valium and tried it today as 1/2 of one my doses and felt quite weird. I think I should just stick with trying to taper xanax. I read here something I liked... Dance with the one who brought you.

 

-  With that said, I'm just not feeling very well on the xanax. I'm taking .125mg 3x a day currently trying to just feel "functional". It seems to wear off in about 4 hours.  I know that might seem like a very little dose to you all, but if I take .25 it makes me feel so groggy and almost drunk. Would this be a reason to crossover to the Valium for my taper?

 

- it takes at least 4 weeks to get an appt with the dr who prescribed me my last rx of xanax. I don't have that much left. I'm kind of freaking out about being able to get a big enough refill dose to taper with. I'm looking into dry cutting with a scale because water titration just wastes too much.

 

- Does the anxiety/panic you get from benzos feel different than before you took them? Mine seems to which is why I want off the xanax. It's like I'm super-panicky for no reason all the time but feel normal under that feeling. It's a feeling I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

 

- I have laser eye surgery coming up in the next few months (haven't scheduled it yet).  They give you xanax before the procedure.  What do I do?

 

Thanks for answering my crazy questions. I'm just all over the place with this benzo stuff lately.

[[mr...]]

Just realizing I've spent the last 20 years under the influence of drugs, alcohol, and prescription meds. It's a sobering, for lack of a better term, thought.  I just honestly never looked back on my life and thought about it in those terms.  I think there were a few completely sober months, during my pregnancy for sure, but on a whole... I was just self-medicating.  Now I am off alcohol for 6 months, haven't used illicit drugs in many years, and trying to get off benzos. Probably the hardest yet.

 

Anyway, I have a few questions:

 

- Has anyone here tried a crossover to Valium? Why/why not? I have some liquid Valium and tried it today as 1/2 of one my doses and felt quite weird. I think I should just stick with trying to taper xanax. I read here something I liked... Dance with the one who brought you.

 

I stuck w/ xanax for two main reasons: there were no guarantees of an easier taper with a different benzo, and I didn't want to waste the time of crossover. Plus the idea of trying to become "unaddicted" to xanax all the while replace that addiction with an addiction to another drug seemed pointlessly painful to me.

 

-  With that said, I'm just not feeling very well on the xanax. I'm taking .125mg 3x a day currently trying to just feel "functional". It seems to wear off in about 4 hours.  I know that might seem like a very little dose to you all, but if I take .25 it makes me feel so groggy and almost drunk. Would this be a reason to crossover to the Valium for my taper?

 

In my opinion, no. If you feel groggy on 0.25mg of xanax, the shortest acting benzo, I'm sure you'd feel quite a bit more groggy on diazepam, the longest acting benzo. If interdose withdrawal is your main issue, and you don't want to crossover, you could try dosing more often than 3x per day. I dose 4x per day, every six hours, because that's when I start to feel it. You could try splitting your daily dose into six equal parts and dose every four hours, since this seems to be your metabolism rate?

 

- it takes at least 4 weeks to get an appt with the dr who prescribed me my last rx of xanax. I don't have that much left. I'm kind of freaking out about being able to get a big enough refill dose to taper with. I'm looking into dry cutting with a scale because water titration just wastes too much.

 

Perhaps you could have your pharmacy phone in for a refill for you? I've had my pharmacy do this a few times, and my doctor will just write a refill script for me without an appointment to do so.

 

- Does the anxiety/panic you get from benzos feel different than before you took them? Mine seems to which is why I want off the xanax. It's like I'm super-panicky for no reason all the time but feel normal under that feeling. It's a feeling I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

 

You describe it PERFECTLY. Benzo-anxiety, particularly xanax, at its finest :-P

 

- I have laser eye surgery coming up in the next few months (haven't scheduled it yet).  They give you xanax before the procedure.  What do I do?

 

I've just made the surgical staff I work with aware that I have a history of benzodiazepine dependency/addiction, and they don't give me any troubles regarding it

 

Thanks for answering my crazy questions. I'm just all over the place with this benzo stuff lately.

[[mr...]]

Mac, I reread my reply to you, and I think I may have came across as anti-crossover. I didn't mean to sound that way, as some people need to do this in order to successfully taper. I was just giving you my own personal perspective, okie dokes? if you feel you want or need to crossover to succeed, we will be here to support!

 

[[Be...]]

went to the store, had a lovely anxiety attack.... finally belched like my Granma does,, felt so much better....my upper digestive problems are usually behind my anxiety...

[[ma...]]

went to the store, had a lovely anxiety attack.... finally belched like my Granma does,, felt so much better....my upper digestive problems are usually behind my anxiety...

 

Same here! I ate junk last night at our new year's party and felt so awful and panicky. I actually made myself throw up, and felt loads better. Go figure. Gut/Brain connection is so high!

[[Be...]]

well mines pre-existing conditions,, I feared heart attacks all my life cause it runs in my family, and I got bad acid reflux which causes bad upper digestive gas... so I think my body feels it before I do and starts to react, even though I dont feel the indigestion yet....so the anxiety gets started before I know it, and with the withdrawal factor going on, it kicks that in too, and heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere we go!!! by the time I figure out its just a gas bubble its too late...

[[Ma...]]

Bluebell, mrsalw, IWant2bfree:

 

Thanks for the acknowledgment & input.

 

I really feel like crap right now.  I'm hiding in my room watching tv, trying to just get through this.

 

Your connection is important.  Thanks.  Oh, I'll also consider the connection between my mood & sugar, high carbs or high-calorie foods.  Last night was kind of a snackfest, being New Year's Eve, but thank God I don't drink alcohol (anymore).

[[Be...]]

[[Ma...]]

Hi Benzy!

 

Thank YOU for being there too!

[[Be...]]

haha

[[ma...]]

Having a bad night... And not even really tapering yet. Tried replacing 1/2 my afternoon dose with liquid Valium to see if I could handle a crossover. So sensitive to meds and new things. It made me feel so weird. Couldn't wait to just take my regular dose of xanax before bed.  But here I am 2 hours later, my heart pounding, intestines grumbling, and feeling so damn panicked.  I took a betablocker (propranolol) to calm down.  I could take more xanax but ugh! These drugs. Just awful.

[[Ma...]]

haha

 

Benzy!

[[Bl...]]

I have a job interview this afternoon. I am anxious about it, but it is manageable. If this had been a year ago, my anxiety would have been through the roof!!!! Let's hear it for continued healing. Go GABA, go!!!

 

Chillin' without Pillin.

 

Blue

[[So...]]

Oh Wow!!

 

Good luck Blue!!

 

You can do it!! Woo Hoo!!

 

Denise 

[[Bl...]]

Oh Wow!!

 

Good luck Blue!!

 

You can do it!! Woo Hoo!!

 

Denise 

Thank you for your support SophiasNana

 

Blue

[[So...]]

Hey, my new Blue friend, you can call me Denise, or just Nana like the crazy Benzy does!! 

 

And, please join us over in the Let's Chat thread in the Off Topic area. I think you will enjoy it!!

 

Benzy gets real crazy over there. And, so does Mrs!! We have a good time!!

 

Denise 

[[ho...]]

I have a job interview this afternoon. I am anxious about it, but it is manageable. If this had been a year ago, my anxiety would have been through the roof!!!! Let's hear it for continued healing. Go GABA, go!!!

 

Chillin' without Pillin.

 

Blue

 

Yay! Good luck, Blue. You are going to do great, I'm sure of it! Let us know later so we can celebrate with you. Go Gaba, go!

[[ba...]]

Congrats Blue!