XANAX Support Blog: If you're tapering Xanax/alprazolam, join in the discussion!

[[ho...]]

VC:  As far as starting your taper, I believe I would begin to taper if I were in your shoes.  As far as healing while still taking the drug, I believe that healing occurs during a gentle taper, but the 'final and complete' healing can only occur after we are no longer ingesting the benzo.  I can't comment on the adrenals, but I understand from reading Perseverances information that benzos effect the adrenal system a great deal. 

 

Kindling is a theory as far as I know, when it comes to benzo withdrawal.  I believe this phenomena is researched with alcohol, but not with benzos.  I 'believe' repeated benzo withdrawal may cause a kindling phenomena to occur, (subsequent withdrawals may be more difficult), however, I don't believe it's a good idea to try to classify ourselves as 'possibly kindled', because it makes no difference to our withdrawal, (taper), IMO.  This is because I believe we all, (unless we're very short-term users), need to take great care when discontinuing a benzo.  We do that by tapering and listening to our bodies during the taper and not over tapering, (tapering more rapidly than the body can adjust to our dose reductions).

 

Good job on switching to your liquid.  You've made your first cut. 

 

Hi Juliea. Thanks so much for your input. I'm gearing up for the process. Something in me just clicked yesterday and I felt it's time to ease this benzo out of my system once and for all. Support and encouragement is so vital and I'm deeply grateful for this group. I think you're right about not categorizing myself as kindled or not - I doubt it changes much. It's just that when I describe my symptoms to some, I told to hold, hold, hold. I gave it a good shot (3 months) for stabilization...now I'm ready to move on. Got my plan, got my equipment, got my support, got my doctor onboard for scripts.  Check, check,check, check!!! 

 

Wow, my first cut. I did it. 

 

Hi VCharis,

 

For me, kindling was tolerance withdrawal.  For the first couple of years, I was able to "take as needed".  But I ever so slowly began to need more.  I eventually ended up at 1.5 mgs per day.  I would take .5 in the morning and 1 mg in the evening. 

 

My afternoons became hell.  By 3 to 4 pm my tinnitus would start screaming.  My evening commute was torture.  I would make it home and collapse on my bed for an hour or so.  But I made dinner, paid bills, and cleaned.  I still had no idea.  Now imagine that scenario for weeks, month, years.  Essentially, I did many tiny "cold turkeys" along the way.  This was my kindling, although I have no scientific "proof".

 

 

I've told you before that most never experience the hell I've been through with a slow taper.  And you will need to start yours to gauge where you will be.  Frankly, I'm stunned by the lack of support, here, for those that suffer a brutal withdrawal.  We are often marginalized by those who have not experienced exhausting symptoms.  I do want to be supportive, but it  is becoming increasingly difficult.

 

I can't tell you how many short term users, I have seen, that glide in and out with little repercussions.  While I'm happy they were able to get off the poison, their experiences have nothing to do with mine. And many long term users who have had brutal tapers seem to distance themselves from past reality. 

 

I'm in the super slow titration camp now.  It's ok to be symptomatic, but bedridden is a bitch.  Listen to mrsalw, and do a slow titration.  It won't be pain free, but functioning is better than hell. 

 

 

Hugs,

 

 

Hi Baby,

 

Glad to see you here. I understand where you are coming from. Bedridden is hell. We had it too rough for too long and are still suffering. I think it is almost impossible to relate to the level of suffering the few of us experience. Sending you hugs. I have been really sick since 2011 and am weary. I switched one of my 3 doses of gabapentin today to liquid so I can adjust to that change this week and start cutting next week.

 

Love to you!

 

Hopeful Girl

[[ba...]]

VC:  As far as starting your taper, I believe I would begin to taper if I were in your shoes.  As far as healing while still taking the drug, I believe that healing occurs during a gentle taper, but the 'final and complete' healing can only occur after we are no longer ingesting the benzo.  I can't comment on the adrenals, but I understand from reading Perseverances information that benzos effect the adrenal system a great deal. 

 

Kindling is a theory as far as I know, when it comes to benzo withdrawal.  I believe this phenomena is researched with alcohol, but not with benzos.  I 'believe' repeated benzo withdrawal may cause a kindling phenomena to occur, (subsequent withdrawals may be more difficult), however, I don't believe it's a good idea to try to classify ourselves as 'possibly kindled', because it makes no difference to our withdrawal, (taper), IMO.  This is because I believe we all, (unless we're very short-term users), need to take great care when discontinuing a benzo.  We do that by tapering and listening to our bodies during the taper and not over tapering, (tapering more rapidly than the body can adjust to our dose reductions).

 

Good job on switching to your liquid.  You've made your first cut. 

 

Hi Juliea. Thanks so much for your input. I'm gearing up for the process. Something in me just clicked yesterday and I felt it's time to ease this benzo out of my system once and for all. Support and encouragement is so vital and I'm deeply grateful for this group. I think you're right about not categorizing myself as kindled or not - I doubt it changes much. It's just that when I describe my symptoms to some, I told to hold, hold, hold. I gave it a good shot (3 months) for stabilization...now I'm ready to move on. Got my plan, got my equipment, got my support, got my doctor onboard for scripts.  Check, check,check, check!!! 

 

Wow, my first cut. I did it. 

 

Hi VCharis,

 

For me, kindling was tolerance withdrawal.  For the first couple of years, I was able to "take as needed".  But I ever so slowly began to need more.  I eventually ended up at 1.5 mgs per day.  I would take .5 in the morning and 1 mg in the evening. 

 

My afternoons became hell.  By 3 to 4 pm my tinnitus would start screaming.  My evening commute was torture.  I would make it home and collapse on my bed for an hour or so.  But I made dinner, paid bills, and cleaned.  I still had no idea.  Now imagine that scenario for weeks, month, years.  Essentially, I did many tiny "cold turkeys" along the way.  This was my kindling, although I have no scientific "proof".

 

 

I've told you before that most never experience the hell I've been through with a slow taper.  And you will need to start yours to gauge where you will be.  Frankly, I'm stunned by the lack of support, here, for those that suffer a brutal withdrawal.  We are often marginalized by those who have not experienced exhausting symptoms.  I do want to be supportive, but it  is becoming increasingly difficult.

 

I can't tell you how many short term users, I have seen, that glide in and out with little repercussions.  While I'm happy they were able to get off the poison, their experiences have nothing to do with mine. And many long term users who have had brutal tapers seem to distance themselves from past reality. 

 

I'm in the super slow titration camp now.  It's ok to be symptomatic, but bedridden is a bitch.  Listen to mrsalw, and do a slow titration.  It won't be pain free, but functioning is better than hell. 

 

 

Hugs,

 

 

Hi Baby,

 

Glad to see you here. I understand where you are coming from. Bedridden is hell. We had it too rough for too long and are still suffering. I think it is almost impossible to relate to the level of suffering the few of us experience. Sending you hugs. I have been really sick since 2011 and am weary. I switched one of my 3 doses of gabapentin today to liquid so I can adjust to that change this week and start cutting next week.

 

Love to you!

 

Hopeful Girl

 

I love you right back!  Don't be afraid, you've already seen the worst of hell.  I'm so sorry you've got another "medication" to taper from,  but you are amazing!  Take your time and don't set deadlines.  We may need to summon our good friend Carita to counsel us...

 

[[Tr...]]

Congrats Lacey23! That's awesome. You've powered through this like a boss!

 

Sorry so many here are in such low physical and mental states. Wishing all of you peace and healing.

[[VC...]]

Thanks, TrueSouth.

 

Babyrex, appreciate you sharing. Hate that you've suffered, though. Probably tolerance w/d here, too. Are you bedridden? I've been mostly homebound and in bed for the better part of 3 months, mostly to keep the surges at bay. I'm sorry there hasn't been more support for you.

 

 

Well, I slept under 4 hours again last night. Work up before 4 am. Guess switching over to water-diluted pills really hit me like a cut. Not sure how to turn off the brain at 4 am. I ate a good protein/fat snack at bedtime to prevent a cortisol wakeup call...hasn't helped in this case.

 

Some have told me that L/T didn't work for them. Why wouldn't it work?? It's just a melted benzo. Seems like it would facilitate quicker absorption, being diluted, unless we aren't rinsing out the jar and losing some of those particles (??)

 

And I DO thank MRS for the helpful tips and guidance she's provided. God bless the angels here. 

 

Anyways, thanks again, everyone.

[[VC...]]

TrueSouth, sometimes I wish I'd stuck with my nightly Xanax and tapered from there instead of adding 3 more doses. Sometimes hard to know what to do when symptoms confuse the issue. I do see several folks like yourself who took xanax for years and still managed to taper from one nightly dose. After 3 months of dosing more, I still have the same symptoms although they're milder at times. Anyway, good to see you here.

 

Hopeful Girl, i wish you well on the Gabapenton switch as you prepare to taper from it, too. Has it been helpful during w/d? You've been such an encouragement to me. 

[[VC...]]

Okay, would love to hear from L/T peeps. Mrs? Anyone? I'm on Day 6 of using same doses in water solution.

Before I make my first cut, wondering how long you went before needing to hold.

 

VCharis 

[[Tr...]]

I have no experience with LT, but I'm glad you're getting started on your benzo free journey and I wish you well. You can do this!

[[VC...]]

I have no experience with LT, but I'm glad you're getting started on your benzo free journey and I wish you well. You can do this!

Well, thank you, TrueSouth. Encouragement means so much when we're venturing out.

 

VCharis 

[[ba...]]

Okay, would love to hear from L/T peeps. Mrs? Anyone? I'm on Day 6 of using same doses in water solution.

Before I make my first cut, wondering how long you went before needing to hold.

 

VCharis 

 

Hi VC,

 

I'm super happy you started on your titration!  This won't be easy but you can do it.  Pay close attention to your symptoms; you may need to hold for very long periods of time.  There is no way to predict how your taper will go, but believe in yourself and know you will heal.  You will get through this!  We all heal!

 

[[VC...]]

Okay, would love to hear from L/T peeps. Mrs? Anyone? I'm on Day 6 of using same doses in water solution.

Before I make my first cut, wondering how long you went before needing to hold.

 

VCharis 

 

Hi VC,

 

I'm super happy you started on your titration!  This won't be easy but you can do it.  Pay close attention to your symptoms; you may need to hold for very long periods of time.  There is no way to predict how your taper will go, but believe in yourself and know you will heal.  You will get through this!  We all heal!

 

 

Hey thanks, Baby - appreciate it. I'm waiting to get some questions answered about my spreadsheet first. Seems I would be making 3ml cuts from the get-go, instead of 1ml total - not sure I can handle that reduction from the start. I thought the whole idea of liquid titrating was to remove so little an amount, you hardly felt it. How long is long? I never held more than 2 wks last year when dry cutting. Anyhoo- inquiring minds need to prepare. 

[[ba...]]

Okay, would love to hear from L/T peeps. Mrs? Anyone? I'm on Day 6 of using same doses in water solution.

Before I make my first cut, wondering how long you went before needing to hold.

 

VCharis 

 

Hi VC,

 

I'm super happy you started on your titration!  This won't be easy but you can do it.  Pay close attention to your symptoms; you may need to hold for very long periods of time.  There is no way to predict how your taper will go, but believe in yourself and know you will heal.  You will get through this!  We all heal!

 

 

Hey thanks, Baby - appreciate it. I'm waiting to get some questions answered about my spreadsheet first. Seems I would be making 3ml cuts from the get-go, instead of 1ml total - not sure I can handle that reduction from the start. I thought the whole idea of liquid titrating was to remove so little an amount, you hardly felt it. How long is long? I never held more than 2 wks last year when dry cutting. Anyhoo- inquiring minds need to prepare. 

 

I'm sorry, VC. 

 

You're going to feel it.  Acceptance is key here.  I've had a really tough time, but I'm in the minority.  Most (like my husband who is tapering too) are largely functional in their lives.  I would suggest that most on BB's suffer, but not to the degree where they become immobilized.  Make sure you have family members and friends to help you through the dark times.  Do not expect to be asymptomatic as this will not likely be the case. 

 

You can and will do this, VC!

 

 

[[VC...]]

Oh, I don't expect to be without symptoms. I've been bedbound for 3 months before even cranking up this taper. I just chose L/T over dry cutting due to all the hoopla about it being gentler on the CNS. So that's what I'm hoping for. No, I don't have much support here. Nobody understands. Thanks for rallying for me, Babyrex 

[[ba...]]

Oh, I don't expect to be without symptoms. I've been bedbound for 3 months before even cranking up this taper. I just chose L/T over dry cutting due to all the hoopla about it being gentler on the CNS. So that's what I'm hoping for. No, I don't have much support here. Nobody understands. Thanks for rallying for me, Babyrex 

 

I'll do my best to be here for you.  I so want to help others but it has been most challenging.  This sucks while we heal...

 

[[Ca...]]

Okay, would love to hear from L/T peeps. Mrs? Anyone? I'm on Day 6 of using same doses in water solution.

Before I make my first cut, wondering how long you went before needing to hold.

 

VCharis 

 

Hi VCharis,

  I saw your post and want to share my xanax water taper experience. I'm sorry you have not felt well...I think it is unavoidable sometimes.

    I dry cut from 1.5 to .25 mg. At .25 I started water tapering. I held about a week when I switched methods. I then removed one ml ( from a solution of .25 mg x dissolved in 100 ml water) at a time holding when I felt symptoms were unmanageable. I do have my schedule tucked somewhere but the details are  not important. The important part is for you to cut as tolerated. When you feel symptoms starting to increase hold a few days. Listen to your body,  hold until you feel better then resume cutting.

  I never felt well during the taper but was able to keep from being extremely sick. Not everyone is able to do this even when being deliberately slow with the cuts. I am currently tapering valium and unfortunately have not been able to avoid being ill....but still trying.

  My advice is not to try to get to a certain dose at a particular date. Let your body tell you when you can cut. You can do this...you have what it takes. I know you will succeed.

    This week I am 10 months off Xanax....I am so proud of myself. It was a stinker but I did it. I look forward to celebrating with you when you do it too!

    Warmly,

Carita

 

 

 

Hi dear friends...sending you all love and support. The last mg of V has been a mean one. I'm holding til I feel better...then I will inch my way down. Weary....but hanging on.

Love to all,

Carita

[[VC...]]

Thank you, Babyrex and Carita. I really appreciate your heartfelt support.

Been up almost all night, so not many words this morning.

 

Love,

VC

[[Ra...]]

BabyRex - I'm so sorry your taper was so brutal.  It's so strange to me that the experience is not more predictable.  Just shows how complicated our bodies are. I think it's people like you who need a lot of support.  It cannot be easy having a brutal taper and things not get better when you jump especially when you see others feeling better.  I will be praying for you, I hope this does not offend you.

 

Carita, you are such an inspiration to me.  Your warm encouraging comments are like a nice warm blanket when I read them.  Your caring empathy just comes right through the screen. Thank you for our encouragement to all who ask for it and know I will be praying for you as you approach the end of your V taper.

 

V - I totally agree with Carita.  Just cut as you feel able.  I'm only cutting 2% right now because I'm too big of a chicken to cut any more.  Having been in an acute period makes me very cautious.  I hope not too cautious, so far so good.  So if tiny cuts is what it takes, that what it takes!  I know you want off this awful stuff, but you know the saying 'slow and steady' is the goal and FUNCTIONAL!  I will be praying for your sister 

 

So Lacey, how goes the battle?  I hope you are still doing well!

 

Hugs to all,

 

Love,

 

Rabbit

 

P.S.  I miss Benzy, anyone hear from him?

[[ba...]]

Okay, would love to hear from L/T peeps. Mrs? Anyone? I'm on Day 6 of using same doses in water solution.

Before I make my first cut, wondering how long you went before needing to hold.

 

VCharis 

 

Hi VCharis,

  I saw your post and want to share my xanax water taper experience. I'm sorry you have not felt well...I think it is unavoidable sometimes.

    I dry cut from 1.5 to .25 mg. At .25 I started water tapering. I held about a week when I switched methods. I then removed one ml ( from a solution of .25 mg x dissolved in 100 ml water) at a time holding when I felt symptoms were unmanageable. I do have my schedule tucked somewhere but the details are  not important. The important part is for you to cut as tolerated. When you feel symptoms starting to increase hold a few days. Listen to your body,  hold until you feel better then resume cutting.

  I never felt well during the taper but was able to keep from being extremely sick. Not everyone is able to do this even when being deliberately slow with the cuts. I am currently tapering valium and unfortunately have not been able to avoid being ill....but still trying.

  My advice is not to try to get to a certain dose at a particular date. Let your body tell you when you can cut. You can do this...you have what it takes. I know you will succeed.

    This week I am 10 months off Xanax....I am so proud of myself. It was a stinker but I did it. I look forward to celebrating with you when you do it too!

    Warmly,

Carita

 

 

 

Hi dear friends...sending you all love and support. The last mg of V has been a mean one. I'm holding til I feel better...then I will inch my way down. Weary....but hanging on.

Love to all,

Carita

 

Proud of you sweet Carita!

 

[[Ca...]]

Babyrex,

  Thank you. I am inspired by your positive outlook...even when feeling so ill you pass on rays of hope for healing. I've grabbed hold of those many times. I miss you...glad to see you today.

  Been meaning to tell you I got my thinning hair cut shoulder length with lots of layers. My stylist told me the layers would help it look fuller.  Not so sure it does...but it felt good to go to her quiet two chair salon for a little pampering. Besides being thin it has changed from brown to grey during this ordeal. Well....withdrawal has made me care so little about my looks. I just want to feel well. Know you understand.

Love to you dear one...you are brave.

Carita

[[ba...]]

BabyRex - I'm so sorry your taper was so brutal.  It's so strange to me that the experience is not more predictable.  Just shows how complicated our bodies are. I think it's people like you who need a lot of support.  It cannot be easy having a brutal taper and things not get better when you jump especially when you see others feeling better.  I will be praying for you, I hope this does not offend you.

 

Carita, you are such an inspiration to me.  Your warm encouraging comments are like a nice warm blanket when I read them.  Your caring empathy just comes right through the screen. Thank you for our encouragement to all who ask for it and know I will be praying for you as you approach the end of your V taper.

 

V - I totally agree with Carita.  Just cut as you feel able.  I'm only cutting 2% right now because I'm too big of a chicken to cut any more.  Having been in an acute period makes me very cautious.  I hope not too cautious, so far so good.  So if tiny cuts is what it takes, that what it takes!  I know you want off this awful stuff, but you know the saying 'slow and steady' is the goal and FUNCTIONAL!  I will be praying for your sister 

 

So Lacey, how goes the battle?  I hope you are still doing well!

 

Hugs to all,

 

Love,

 

Rabbit

 

P.S.  I miss Benzy, anyone hear from him?

 

Hi Rabbit,

 

Thank you so much for your kind words.  Yes, this whole withdrawal process is baffling, but I suspect it has to do with genetics. 

 

Lostdog, cedartree, and RiverWolf all had brutal tapers.  I read their success stories to help me through the really dark times.  And it would NEVER offend me to have people, (whatever their religion), pray for me!  I appreciate it!

 

 

Here is a short video from Baylissa, who went through hell.  I view this frequently and it always makes me cry:

 

 

 

 

 

[[VC...]]

Thanks again for the wonderful support here, Rabbit, Carita, and Babyrex and all.

Didn't sleep much last night - and so I'll keep this short. Having to re-do my taper schedule. Hope you have a restful weekend....love & hugs, VCharis 

[[Ca...]]

Rabbit...you are so kind. Thank you.  I am glad you feel some warmth from my posts. Compassion is my favorite word and I strive for it to be my daily practice. Our days are so much better when we find compassion. Like rescuing an injured squirrel and bringing him into the family.....acts like that change the world. What if everyone was so kind?

Lately my mantra has been, "remember compassion, remember tenderness". It has seen me through some rough days. We must treat ourselves like we would treat a young child.

 

Sending you love and continued support as you taper. You are doing such a smart dose reduction. It will help you succeed.

 

Warmly,

Carita

[[ba...]]

Babyrex,

  Thank you. I am inspired by your positive outlook...even when feeling so ill you pass on rays of hope for healing. I've grabbed hold of those many times. I miss you...glad to see you today.

  Been meaning to tell you I got my thinning hair cut shoulder length with lots of layers. My stylist told me the layers would help it look fuller.  Not so sure it does...but it felt good to go to her quiet two chair salon for a little pampering. Besides being thin it has changed from brown to grey during this ordeal. Well....withdrawal has made me care so little about my looks. I just want to feel well. Know you understand.

Love to you dear one...you are brave.

Carita

 

Thanks sweetie,

 

Just the other day my husband urged me to get a quick hair cut.  But sadly, there is little to cut.  I've lost most of it and it has stopped growing.  It looks like the type of "cotton candy" human hair they used to glue on antique porcelain dolls. 

 

I can live with it though. And the rashes on my head and shoulders.  They will go away eventually.  I just want to feel better, and I will!  So will you!

 

 

 

[[Ra...]]

BabyRex, I will definitely put you on the prayer 'log'.  I have so many here I pray for now regularly.  You will heal, you know you will.  I pray that recovery is right around the corner for you 

 

Carita, thank you for those kind words.  Sometimes compassion is my downfall, I can't seem to control it very well, it morphs into anxiety.  I'm going to have to work on this with my therapist.  Not that I don't want to be compassionate, but I need to know how to keep things in perspective.  I seem to have difficulties with that.  I will continue to pray for you as well 

 

V my friend, are you going to be doing smaller cuts?  You know you are always on my mind.  Please let me know how you are feeling.  You can do this my friend, whip out your wonder woman outfit and your pushup bra!  Love you!

 

Hugs to all,

 

Rabbit

[[VC...]]

 

V my friend, are you going to be doing smaller cuts?  You know you are always on my mind.  Please let me know how you are feeling.  You can do this my friend, whip out your wonder woman outfit and your pushup bra!  Love you!

 

Hugs to all,

 

Rabbit

 

Yes, as small as I can. You cracked me up! Wonder Woman pushup bra...that's a big bra to fill! Don't worry, I got the goods! 

 

I do feel like crap today...need sleep....but thanks for the chuckle. Time for me to crawl into bed after my Espsom salt soak and do my mindfulness meditation or listen to some soothing music....have a good week, Rabbit. 

 

Hugs,

VC

 

 

[[Ra...]]

Thank you sweetie.  I most definitely do not have 'the goods' 

 

In all seriousness, I will be praying for you tonight before I go to bed.  I pray for a good night's sleep for you 

 

Love,

 

Rabbit